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Portal 2
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Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
789
Who:
Wheatley
This time...
Listens:
487
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
1014
Who:
Wheatley
Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing.
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
Noted.
Listens:
699
Who:
Turret
Warning: Core corruption at 75 percent.
Listens:
4618
Who:
Announcer
Remember when I told you that you were the only subjects to pass the calibration tests?
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
I hardly think you're even trying with these gestures anymore.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh, we're so close, plug me in!
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
583
Who:
Defective Turret
'Goodbye, Caroline.'
Listens:
22638
Who:
Caroline
Goodnight
Listens:
5614
Who:
Turret
Why did I just-Who is that? What the HELL is going on he----?
Listens:
1492
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor. [BUZZER]
Listens:
1842
Who:
Announcer
This should take us right to her. I can't believe I'm finally doing this!
Listens:
247
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! How long's the door been open?
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! What can we do with me then. I know! Plug me into the port, please.
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
2138
Who:
Turret
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
514
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
416
Who:
Defective Turret
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
401
Who:
Core 2
Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.
Listens:
4465
Who:
Cave Johnson
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
Mister Johnson
Listens:
1666
Who:
Caroline
Right on that stick over there. Just put me right on it.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
Coming through!
Listens:
1953
Who:
Turret
How was that?
Listens:
342
Who:
Defective Turret
Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?
Listens:
1150
Who:
GLaDOS
So. If you've got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them.
Listens:
256
Who:
Wheatley
Test chamber completed. In the interest of - [FADES OUT] [FADES IN] I am now talking to you privately. Do not tell your teammate. Just between you and me? You're doing very well. [FADES BACK IN] One hundred and seven.
Listens:
1292
Who:
GLaDOS
Breathes with mouth open.
Listens:
260
Who:
GLaDOS
At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse.
Listens:
1381
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
540
Who:
Wheatley
I thought you'd be faster at this, but I can appreciate the desire to stop and smell the testing. That other scent you smell? That's the stench of my utter disappointment in you.
Listens:
1516
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Moron!
Listens:
22746
Who:
GLaDOS
If your confidence is still not high enough remember no one was created perfect.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
We're so close! Go press the button!
Listens:
1348
Who:
GLaDOS
Neurotoxin level at capacity in five minutes.
Listens:
4270
Who:
Announcer
Can you see it anywhere? I can't see it anywhere. Uh. Tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on.
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Narcissist.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
These bridges are made from natural light that I pump in from the surface. If you rubbed your cheek on one, it would be like standing outside with the sun shining on your face. It would also set your hair on fire, so don't actually do it.
Listens:
2095
Who:
GLaDOS
DO press it.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange what did you do?
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, I see. Clever. Verrrrrrry clever.
Listens:
2819
Who:
Wheatley
Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious, as humans.
Listens:
1660
Who:
Core 3
Oh my god. What has he done to this place?
Listens:
1477
Who:
GLaDOS
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
You look great, by the way. Very healthy.
Listens:
1495
Who:
GLaDOS
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Finish it...
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
998
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing? Put me back this instant.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
565
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
987
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
780
Who:
Defective Turret
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
[humming]
Listens:
1770
Who:
Core 1
Huh. That was easy.
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
416
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
944
Who:
Wheatley
You have to get to the catwalk behind me!
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
888
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I tried.
Listens:
376
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, it's a core you've put on me! Who told you to do that? Was it her? [as if he's looking around] It's just making me stronger, luv! It's a fool's errand!
Listens:
2629
Who:
Wheatley
Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sulking.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
451
Who:
Defective Turret
Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me.
Listens:
642773
Who:
Cave Johnson
Back again!
Listens:
917
Who:
Defective Turret
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
732
Who:
Defective Turret
Blah.
Listens:
1285
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily, by the looks of things he knows as much about test building as he does about logical contradictions.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
Listens:
4911
Who:
Announcer
Yes, alright, okay. This is getting tiresome. I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do. I know I have. You've proven you can break screens. Proven. Factual. Well done. Good. Aren't you little miss clever. Little miss smashy-smash.
Listens:
1272
Who:
Wheatley
This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.
Listens:
10596
Who:
GLaDOS
'Yes, sir, Mister Johnson...'
Listens:
1787
Who:
GLaDOS
Pop a little portal, just there, alright? Behind me. And come on through.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
Since you are thankfully not humans, I have changed the tests to make them far more challenging and far less pointlessly fawning.
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
Your ping tool is invaluable for communicating specific locations to your partner.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, new turrets. Not defective. Ace of fours. The best hand. Unbeatable, I imagine.
Listens:
1484
Who:
Wheatley
Ungh!
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
949
Who:
Core 1
I’m on fire.
Listens:
2305
Who:
Turret
Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
847
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
No no wait wait waitAGGGHHHH
Listens:
2186
Who:
Defective Turret
Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Listens:
147670
Who:
Cave Johnson
We're in space!
Listens:
2440
Who:
Wheatley
Where am I? Guess. Guess guess guess. I'm in space.
Listens:
2922
Who:
Core 1
I knew it was gonna be cool being in charge of everything, but... wow, this is cool!
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
On the floor. Needing your help. The whole time. All the time. Needing your help.
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! This is a bit tricky!
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
620
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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