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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Go on, just turn right around. So you're not looking at me.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
I don't understand!
Listens:
5725
Who:
Turret
Just stop flailing around like an incompetent.
Listens:
1316
Who:
GLaDOS
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine nine nine... nine nine ni- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate [FADES OUT]
Listens:
28837
Who:
Announcer
Keep moving! Just keep moving!
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
601
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
450
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! What can we do with me then. I know! Plug me into the port, please.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. I guess emotional outbursts require more than one point six volts. Now we know that. We just need to relax. We're still going to find out what the hell's going on here. But calmly.
Listens:
1398
Who:
GLaDOS
Yahh. Gehhh!
Listens:
742
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
613
Who:
Defective Turret
Say one useful thing. One. I dare you. I will give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely applicable to anything at all.
Listens:
1412
Who:
Core 2
Dang!
Listens:
754
Who:
Defective Turret
Ahh!
Listens:
1446
Who:
Turret
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
452
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me
Listens:
2080
Who:
Turret
Now it's broken turret's time to shine!
Listens:
3633
Who:
Defective Turret
Space!
Listens:
2903
Who:
Core 1
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
824
Who:
Core 3
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
570
Who:
Wheatley
So. How are you holding up?
Listens:
2491
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
532
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth. Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
2612
Who:
Core 1
Hello? Anyone in there?
Listens:
1411
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
471
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
1052
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
Listens:
605
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey lady.
Listens:
1057
Who:
Core 1
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
1268
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes Orange, Blue did act like a fool just now.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
1169
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
860
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
530
Who:
Wheatley
While it may appear that I am only tracking your accomplishments using science collaboration points, the truth is every aspect of your performance will be reflected in your final score.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
1033
Who:
Core 1
We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now!
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
Seeks out conflicts with co-workers.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
MOVE.
Listens:
525
Who:
Wheatley
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty.
Listens:
4435
Who:
Core 3
Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas.
Listens:
1336
Who:
GLaDOS
So twisty you might even call it spinning. MOO HOO HA HA HA Ignore the laughter. Nothing to worry about.
Listens:
1301
Who:
Wheatley
I can't see it though... Maybe it fell off. Do you want to go and have a quick look?
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2592
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what I have too many of around here? Monitors. I was just thinking earlier today I wish I had fewer monitors that were working. So you're actually helping me by smashing them.
Listens:
1891
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
951
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey.
Listens:
854
Who:
Core 1
No. Makes it go faster.
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go in!
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, we're closed
Listens:
2091
Who:
Turret
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
832
Who:
Wheatley
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
4771
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, hang on. What if we gave it something ELSE to scan?
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
1254
Who:
Cave Johnson
I have noticed you two have become extremely close. I'm not sure I like that.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
515
Who:
Defective Turret
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you hear that? I think something just exploded. Man, we are in a lot of danger. This is like Christmas. No, it's better than Christmas. This should be its own holiday. Explosion Day!
Listens:
2360
Who:
Core 2
Aristotle versus Mashy-spike-plate!
Listens:
28601
Who:
Wheatley
Are you OK?
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Facial grimacing.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
Inattentive listener.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Nap time
Listens:
3431
Who:
Turret
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
Today's Security Code is: 5,33,41,18
Listens:
7559
Who:
Announcer
I hardly think you're even trying with these gestures anymore.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first.
Listens:
737
Who:
GLaDOS
I am NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
15562
Who:
Wheatley
This next test involves emancipation grills. Remember? I told you about them in the last test area, that did not have one.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
851
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
1126
Who:
Announcer
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
628
Who:
GLaDOS
To maintain a constant testing cycle, I simulate daylight at all hours and add adrenal vapor to your oxygen supply. So you may be confused about the passage of time. The point is, yesterday was your birthday. I thought you'd want to know.
Listens:
3748
Who:
GLaDOS
You have just passed through an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which vaporizes most Aperture Science equipment that touches it.
Listens:
996
Who:
Announcer
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
1134
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on completing that test. But something seems off.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again. Sorry about exploding you. Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
2819
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
You may as well have a little rest, actually, while I work on it.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Designed this test myself. It's a little bit difficult.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
964
Who:
Defective Turret
This next test involves the Aperture Science Aerial Faith Plate. It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative: They could not. Good luck!
Listens:
2306
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent work.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Who's there?
Listens:
2073
Who:
Turret
Reactor Explosion Timer destroyed.
Listens:
3989
Who:
Announcer
[clap clap clap]
Listens:
135869
Who:
GLaDOS
That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still there? Can you pick me up, do you think? If you are there?
Listens:
2629
Who:
Wheatley
BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
Listens:
766
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, crap.
Listens:
1356
Who:
Defective Turret
I made it all up.
Listens:
1026
Who:
GLaDOS
HA! I knew someone was alive in here.
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
Where'd you go?
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Are you still there?
Listens:
58624
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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