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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Original Order
Random
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Do not do it!
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
573
Who:
Core 1
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
I'm different...
Listens:
65025
Who:
Turret
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
441
Who:
GLaDOS
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
818
Who:
Wheatley
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
441
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. It's you. Go away.
Listens:
1740
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
1139
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, alright, okay. This is getting tiresome. I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do. I know I have. You've proven you can break screens. Proven. Factual. Well done. Good. Aren't you little miss clever. Little miss smashy-smash.
Listens:
1229
Who:
Wheatley
Hellllooo, imbecile.
Listens:
4413
Who:
GLaDOS
We are going to shut down her turret production line, turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her.
Listens:
240
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome to the enrichment center. [cough]
Listens:
5797
Who:
Cave Johnson
Yes it is! We can use it to get out of here!
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
Irritable.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
Caroline deleted.
Listens:
19588
Who:
Announcer
Awwww
Listens:
2771
Who:
Turret
Hello!
Listens:
11632
Who:
Turret
Don't. Do it.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
Could you come over here?
Listens:
3094
Who:
Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
559
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't listen to her, do it.
Listens:
242
Who:
Wheatley
Egotistical.
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
568
Who:
GLaDOS
Critical error
Listens:
11823
Who:
Turret
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
736
Who:
Core 3
Warning: Core corruption at 50 percent.
Listens:
7122
Who:
Announcer
Pop a portal. Behind me, on the wall. Come on through.
Listens:
236
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, sweetie! He's got a glass jaw! He's got a glass everything! This guy's a china cabinet!
Listens:
587
Who:
Core 2
Are you OK?
Listens:
252
Who:
Wheatley
This isn't that hard.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
Just so you know, I have to go give a deposition. For an upcoming trial. In case that interests you.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
730
Who:
GLaDOS
Hah! It bloody worked! I hacked it! Hacked. Properly. Properly hacked. Ha ha ha!
Listens:
1133
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
2366
Who:
Turret
Ungh!
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
There we go. Lights on.
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Finish it...
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
512
Who:
Wheatley
Haha, Mr. Johnson!
Listens:
2000
Who:
Caroline
Not entirely, not entirely. Look at the word 'test', on the wall there. That's brand new.
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT BUTTON - oh, the door's open! Well done. Let's see what's inside.
Listens:
2529
Who:
Wheatley
Didn't pick up on my sarcasm...
Listens:
4347
Who:
Wheatley
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
6416
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent work.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
Killing you? Is hard.
Listens:
1328
Who:
GLaDOS
At the time of this recording, Federal disclosure policies require us to inform you that this next test is probably lethal and to redirect you to a safer test environment.
Listens:
1358
Who:
Announcer
You broke it, didn't you.
Listens:
2301
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Right, the escape lift! I'll call it now.
Listens:
264
Who:
Wheatley
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
877
Who:
Core 2
Her name is Caroline.
Listens:
3941
Who:
Turret
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
731
Who:
GLaDOS
Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.
Listens:
5077
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry, we're closed
Listens:
1922
Who:
Turret
Can you hear that? She has really kicked this place into high gear now.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Nonononononono!
Listens:
6404
Who:
Defective Turret
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
513
Who:
Wheatley
Live turret line is active. Enter room with extreme caution.
Listens:
789
Who:
Announcer
No A.I. can resist thinking about them.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
You two are going to LOVE this big surprise. In fact, you might say that you're both going to love it to death. Love it... until it kills you. Until you're dead.
Listens:
3243
Who:
Wheatley
Only one more test after this.
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't make lemonade!
Listens:
19276
Who:
Turret
There you are, reassembled again.
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
I knew it was gonna be cool being in charge of everything, but... wow, this is cool!
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
I'm sure we'll be fine.
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
998
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh well. We have warehouses FULL of the things. Absolutely worthless. I'm happy to get rid of them.
Listens:
806
Who:
GLaDOS
I have noticed you two have become extremely close. I'm not sure I like that.
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1169
Who:
Core 1
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
677
Who:
Turret
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
592
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you need real encouragement? Let's see if this helps.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the Laws of Robotics. To share.
Listens:
2622
Who:
Announcer
Might want to just pick me up.
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
I’m afraid of heights!
Listens:
1115
Who:
Turret
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
854
Who:
Core 2
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
687
Who:
Wheatley
Oh there goes another one. They're not Inexpensive. I'd just like to point that out. It seems unfair to smash screens. You could give them to people. Instead of smashing them, unscrew them and give them to a homeless person. I don't know what a homeless person would do with one. But you get my point. And you can't unscrew them, they're bolted in. But - just stop it!
Listens:
1229
Who:
Wheatley
You may as well have a little rest, actually, while I work on it.
Listens:
237
Who:
Wheatley
See you soon!
Listens:
770
Who:
Turret
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
381
Who:
Defective Turret
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
354
Who:
Defective Turret
You can't fire me I quit!
Listens:
3539
Who:
Defective Turret
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning: Core corruption at 75 percent.
Listens:
4431
Who:
Announcer
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
992
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
Initiating surprise in three... two... one.
Listens:
3271
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
483
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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