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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Stop touching each other!
Listens:
551
Who:
GLaDOS
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
There must be something wrong with the reassembly machine.
Listens:
1076
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
918
Who:
Announcer
Your vitals remain well within testing norms, so there is no need to worry about sudden death from collaborative shock syndrome.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
6451
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1281
Who:
Announcer
Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
Listens:
561
Who:
Core 2
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
6500
Who:
GLaDOS
Can I help you?
Listens:
829
Who:
Turret
I’m scared!
Listens:
805
Who:
Turret
Okay, this way
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
We're back!
Listens:
1877
Who:
Defective Turret
It burns.
Listens:
2574
Who:
Turret
Door?
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Agh!
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
743
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
And here I thought this room was dangerously unlethal.
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
Quick, this way!
Listens:
235
Who:
Wheatley
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
Electrocution, shot, drowned, crushed, burned in goo.
Listens:
1141
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate Resolved.
Listens:
1622
Who:
Announcer
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
737
Who:
Core 3
Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably - Oh, wait. It's a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!
Listens:
4149
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! What can we do with me then. I know! Plug me into the port, please.
Listens:
237
Who:
Wheatley
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
463
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. Yeah? And I'll show you something. You'll be impressed by this.
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
473
Who:
Wheatley
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
917
Who:
Core 1
I see you
Listens:
2662
Who:
Turret
Can you see it anywhere? I can't see it anywhere. Uh. Tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Can't... see it anywhere. Tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on.
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
526
Who:
Defective Turret
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that in your memory banks?
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself.
Listens:
2949
Who:
Core 3
Anxious.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
758
Who:
Wheatley
I am sure it happened by accident, but why don't you put it back in the player?
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. I’m bringing this farce to a close.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!
Listens:
33837
Who:
Core 1
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
5855
Who:
Turret
The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days.
Listens:
799
Who:
Core 3
Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
Listens:
544
Who:
GLaDOS
Please test your device by portaling to that ledge.
Listens:
233
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
483
Who:
Wheatley
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
3487
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?
Listens:
1163
Who:
Wheatley
Don't mind me. Just moving the test chamber a little closer to me. Had a thought: Maybe proximity to the test solving might give us stronger results.
Listens:
240
Who:
Wheatley
Always sleeping.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Your test times show you are going too slowly.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
So: there's PLENTY of time to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
OW! You stabbed me! What is WRONG with yo-WhoOOAAahhh. Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. The gun must be part magnesium... It feels like I'm outputting an extra half a volt. Keep an eye on me: I'm going to do some scheming. Here I g-[BZZZ!]
Listens:
14461
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are! I was starting to get worried.
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing?
Listens:
956
Who:
Turret
Orange
Listens:
601
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work getting this far, future-starter! That said, if you are simple-minded, old, or irradiated in such a way that the future should not start with you, please return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better-qualified for testing.
Listens:
2261
Who:
Announcer
Blue, do you feel betrayed by orange for telling me those horrible things about you?
Listens:
234
Who:
GLaDOS
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m shocked you’d say that, Blue. If you killed your partner the test—I’m sorry. Wrong feed. Carry on, Orange. Good work.
Listens:
1141
Who:
GLaDOS
Substitute Core: Are you ready to start?
Listens:
2079
Who:
Announcer
Are you trying to get my attention? I am very busy, you know.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
535
Who:
Wheatley
Mr. Johnson, I don't want this.
Listens:
8079
Who:
Caroline
So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious!
Listens:
66015
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
683
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks!
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
You will never go into space.
Listens:
930
Who:
Core 3
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, be a sport lady, and just tell him I killed you.
Listens:
2483
Who:
Defective Turret
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
She did all the work.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
For god's sake, you're BOXES with LEGS! It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?
Listens:
5691
Who:
Wheatley
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
8916
Who:
Caroline
Hold on! This is a bit tricky!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
You both need to do something.
Listens:
236
Who:
GLaDOS
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
854
Who:
Core 2
I don't want this!
Listens:
17868
Who:
Caroline
Always cold.
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
Mr. Johnson...
Listens:
1253
Who:
Caroline
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
527
Who:
Core 3
Atmosphere. Black holes. Astronauts. Nebulas. Jupiter. The Big Dipper.
Listens:
2570
Who:
Core 1
All sealed off years ago, of course.
Listens:
235
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?
Listens:
7437
Who:
Core 2
While I should have left both of you trapped there forever, I do need you for something else.
Listens:
234
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
904
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry
Listens:
2644
Who:
Turret
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
I don't hate you
Listens:
12253
Who:
Turret
SHUT UP!
Listens:
16144
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
5710
Who:
Turret
If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you.
Listens:
3064
Who:
Announcer
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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