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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Hello?
Listens:
2745
Who:
Turret
Is anyone there?
Listens:
7264
Who:
Turret
You are doing wonderfully.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
714
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
4978
Who:
GLaDOS
You won't regret this!
Listens:
624
Who:
Defective Turret
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
497
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, that transpired just as you said it would.
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes it is! We can use it to get out of here!
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
361
Who:
Defective Turret
Slapping hands. That accomplishes something.
Listens:
262
Who:
GLaDOS
Seeks out conflicts with co-workers.
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material.
Listens:
1773
Who:
Core 3
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
494
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space going to space oh boy
Listens:
2002
Who:
Core 1
The humans can't free themselves.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
We're so close, you can't fail now!
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
Listens:
243
Who:
GLaDOS
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
It's... It's moving up.
Listens:
242
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
450
Who:
Wheatley
[sound of pages turning] Oh, sorry. Hope that didn't disturb you just then. It was the sound of books. Pages being turned.
Listens:
1279
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
1047
Who:
Turret
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
505
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
368
Who:
Defective Turret
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
975
Who:
Wheatley
Stop with the waves.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, even if you think we're still enemies, we're enemies with a common interest: Revenge.
Listens:
783
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
1426
Who:
Announcer
Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang!
Listens:
660
Who:
Defective Turret
Did you guess 'sharks'? Because that's wrong. The correct answer is 'nobody.' Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.
Listens:
3952
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, I see. Clever. Verrrrrrry clever.
Listens:
2740
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
388
Who:
Defective Turret
GO.
Listens:
958
Who:
GLaDOS
Fantastic.
Listens:
804
Who:
Defective Turret
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
For instance, Blue, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
Listens:
243
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.
Listens:
1747
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a bit of a brain wave. There I was, smashing some steel plates together, and I thought, 'yes, it's deadly. But what's missing? What's missing?' And I thought lots of sharp bits welded onto the flat bits.
Listens:
1777
Who:
Wheatley
It emphasizes teamwork.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
See nothing bad happened.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you hear that? I think something just exploded. Man, we are in a lot of danger. This is like Christmas. No, it's better than Christmas. This should be its own holiday. Explosion Day!
Listens:
2230
Who:
Core 2
Histrionic.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
846
Who:
Core 3
There we go. Lights on.
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
4919
Who:
GLaDOS
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
534
Who:
Core 3
If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you.
Listens:
3143
Who:
Announcer
Fears conflict.
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
915
Who:
Cave Johnson
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Listens:
5169
Who:
Core 1
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
592
Who:
Wheatley
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
No, that's right. Over by the podium, yeah.
Listens:
245
Who:
Wheatley
There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it.
Listens:
1198
Who:
Announcer
Excellent.
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m on fire ow.
Listens:
4731
Who:
Turret
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
These things happen.
Listens:
3289
Who:
Turret
Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space.
Listens:
2577
Who:
Core 1
Just hang in there for five more - What? Jerry, you can't fire me for that! Yes, JERRY -- OR, maybe your prejudiced worksite should have accommodated a nanobot of my size. Thanks for the hate crime, Jer!
Listens:
1173
Who:
Wheatley
Good, that's still working.
Listens:
1861
Who:
GLaDOS
BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD
Listens:
100004
Who:
Wheatley
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
I hate you so much.
Listens:
12148
Who:
GLaDOS
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
245
Who:
Wheatley
You are the farthest ever in space. Why me, space? Because you are the best. I'm the best at space? Yes.
Listens:
20846
Who:
Core 1
Okay! Don't move!
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
522
Who:
Wheatley
Please go to space.
Listens:
941
Who:
Core 1
Ow. I hate this bird.
Listens:
1822
Who:
GLaDOS
I just thought you find that interesting, most winners do.
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want you to beat yourselves up about this, but the Results Auditor isn't recording your test results. Because you're not human. Which, when you think about it, is technically your fault.
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
So he's inexplicably happy all of a sudden, even though he should be going out of his mind with test withdrawal. AND he's got a surprise for us. What did he FIND back there?
Listens:
620
Who:
GLaDOS
GET YOUR HANDES OFF ME! NO! STOP! No!
Listens:
4237
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh... Mr. Johnson...
Listens:
25495
Who:
Caroline
Progress report: Haven't really made any in-roads!
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
Ok... Here we go...
Listens:
265
Who:
Wheatley
The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.
Listens:
588
Who:
Core 3
No! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Listens:
67198
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. Now please return to your bed.
Listens:
1461
Who:
Announcer
Blue, it's not nice to make fun of Orange like that.
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
726
Who:
GLaDOS
Here she comes! Keep testing! Remember: you never saw me!
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
An extra special bonus course that ends with us finding and freeing humans!
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh!
Listens:
1165
Who:
Turret
Go on. Walk up to the window. Take a look out.
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
This time is OUR time.
Listens:
1623
Who:
Defective Turret
Tell you what, here's a plan. Let's just both... continue contemplating... in absolute silence...
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
ow.
Listens:
452
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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