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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
1079
Who:
Core 3
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
[Laughter]
Listens:
5765
Who:
GLaDOS
Might as well give you the tour.
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.
Listens:
4010
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
2852
Who:
Defective Turret
Space!
Listens:
2852
Who:
Core 1
You can't give up now.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
I was getting SO lonely down here. It's good to finally hear someone else's voice. I'm kidding, of course. God, I hate you.
Listens:
19834
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor. [BUZZER]
Listens:
1944
Who:
Announcer
If you're dying, but not dead, stomp once. If you're dead, obviously no stomps. And two stomps if you're not dead. Lemme just run through that again: If you're dying but not dead stomp just once. If you're dead, obviously you won't be stomping. And if you're not dead, give me two stomps.
Listens:
1160
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!
Listens:
35104
Who:
Core 1
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! It's going faster, which I was... not expecting.
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
DANCING is NOT SCIENCE!
Listens:
45253
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't either you have drive to be better than the other?
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
I am not sure you will need him but he will be there.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Pop a portal. Behind me, on the wall. Come on through.
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 3
Dad! I'm in space! [low-pitched 'space' voice] I'm proud of you, son. [normal voice] Dad, are you space? [low-pitched 'space' voice] Yes. Now we are a family again.
Listens:
457346
Who:
Core 1
Space? SPACE!
Listens:
22984
Who:
Core 1
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
Space!
Listens:
1655
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations on completing that test. But something seems off.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate Resolved.
Listens:
1797
Who:
Announcer
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
631
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.
Listens:
4647
Who:
Cave Johnson
No, no, I'm sure it's this way. I'm definitely sure it's this way.
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
What, are you still alive? You are joking. You have got be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE.
Listens:
6138
Who:
Wheatley
You just beat this test. Literally twenty seconds ago.
Listens:
646
Who:
Wheatley
For safety.
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
Noooooo!
Listens:
1948
Who:
Turret
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
764
Who:
Defective Turret
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
452
Who:
Wheatley
Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look.
Listens:
1496
Who:
Core 1
How was that?
Listens:
355
Who:
Defective Turret
Space...
Listens:
1256
Who:
Core 1
Irritable.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
Just go.
Listens:
3538
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, thanks so much!
Listens:
695
Who:
Defective Turret
At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
Listens:
5726
Who:
Core 3
Aggggh!
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
740
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1229
Who:
Core 1
You've still got to get through the door. Please. Need to get through that door there.
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
413
Who:
Core 2
Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!
Listens:
7657
Who:
GLaDOS
I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha ha ha ha, good one.
Listens:
2270
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you scared to save those humans?
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
Now than, let's see what we got here. Ah! 'Reactor Core Emergency Heat Venting Protocols.' That's the problem right there, isn't it? 'Emergency'. You don't want to see 'emergency' flashing at you. Never good that, is it? Right. DELETE.
Listens:
1406
Who:
Wheatley
Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
Listens:
18306
Who:
Core 1
Well... Good. Good. Finally, a nemesis worthy of my vast intellect.
Listens:
672
Who:
Wheatley
Identify yourself or I will shoot.
Listens:
4109
Who:
Defective Turret
If you were human, you would want a reward for completing this test. A reward for testing?!?!
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Slapping hands. That accomplishes something.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
The scientists were always hanging cores on me to regulate my behavior. I've heard voices all my life. But now I hear the voice of a conscience, and it's terrifying, because for the first time it's my voice.
Listens:
1543
Who:
GLaDOS
You really don't need to keep failing.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't mind me. Just moving the test chamber a little closer to me. Had a thought: Maybe proximity to the test solving might give us stronger results.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes Orange, we are alone. Blue can't hear you.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, give 'em hell, sweetheart!
Listens:
847
Who:
Defective Turret
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! That's ME they're talking about!
Listens:
660
Who:
Wheatley
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
481
Who:
Defective Turret
By completing all test courses, you have achieved Level C security clearance. You may now access all testing courses and three of Aperture Science's 176 restrooms.
Listens:
1269
Who:
Announcer
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. Yeah? And I'll show you something. You'll be impressed by this.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
386
Who:
Wheatley
The best way to build confidence is to first recognize your insecurities.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
I know things look bleak, but that crazy man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons! We are going to march right back upstairs and MAKE him put me back in my body!
Listens:
4330
Who:
GLaDOS
Poor self-esteem.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
According to most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig.
Listens:
4408
Who:
Core 3
Sorry, what?
Listens:
2204
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
9676
Who:
Wheatley
She is a gem.
Listens:
2909
Who:
Cave Johnson
All right. I’m bringing this farce to a close.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Brain Mapping. Artificial Intelligence. We should have been working on it thirty years ago. I will say this - and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody hears it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place.
Listens:
2672
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ahungh.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
426
Who:
Wheatley
I want to be plugged in, please!
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Your ping tool can also be used to indicate to your partner where you would like them to place their portal.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
669
Who:
Wheatley
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Woooaaah!
Listens:
1176
Who:
Turret
BECAUSE I'M A POTATO.
Listens:
758806
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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