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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Careful... Careful...
Listens:
246
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
894
Who:
Wheatley
Wet blanket.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
I'm starting to think giving you arms was a big mistake.
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me. I tested you. You killed me. I--oh, no, wait. I guess I HAVEN'T killed you yet. Well. Food for thought.
Listens:
3179
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me in, plug me in!
Listens:
244
Who:
Wheatley
Procrastinator.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
AHH!
Listens:
1220
Who:
GLaDOS
Coming! Coming! Don't start yet!
Listens:
247
Who:
Wheatley
Ha... That sounded real. No! That was actually an impression of you. Actually. Because you just fell into my trap. My brilliant trap. Just then. I wanted you to trick me into bursting that pipe. You didn't trick me. Seemingly trick me. Gives you false hope. Leads to overconfidence. And that leads to mistakes. Fatal mistakes. It's all part of my plan.
Listens:
1946
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
264
Who:
Wheatley
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
544
Who:
GLaDOS
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, hold on, hold on... Almost there...
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
It's probably nothing. Keep testing while I look for a way out.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
DO press it.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
Give up? Also the floor. Was the answer that time. Same as before. Still on the floor.
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
3586
Who:
Wheatley
If you were human, you would want a reward for completing this test. A reward for testing?!?!
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the turret manufacturing wing. Just past this is the neurotoxin production facility. We find a way to take them both offline, and she’ll be helpless. Which is ideal.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
449
Who:
GLaDOS
Glorious freedom!
Listens:
22452
Who:
Turret
On second thought we don't have the time, just look at how much better you are than blue.
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
5599
Who:
GLaDOS
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
617
Who:
Core 3
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
913
Who:
Cave Johnson
No! Don't! No! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
2907
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Squeaky-voice! Gimme some of your bullets!
Listens:
2327
Who:
Defective Turret
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
509
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
436
Who:
Defective Turret
Antisocial.
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
Listens:
4849
Who:
Announcer
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
391
Who:
Wheatley
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
2983
Who:
Caroline
GO.
Listens:
965
Who:
GLaDOS
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
1003
Who:
Core 3
Help!
Listens:
779
Who:
Turret
Gotta go to space. Lady. Lady.
Listens:
24596
Who:
Core 1
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
453
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm telling 'em, keep your pants on.
Listens:
3418
Who:
Cave Johnson
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
464
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor. [BUZZER]
Listens:
1818
Who:
Announcer
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to jump across.
Listens:
244
Who:
Wheatley
There's some sort of control room up top. Let's go investigate.
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
SPAAACE!
Listens:
49098
Who:
Core 1
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
1075
Who:
Turret
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
457
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
964
Who:
Cave Johnson
Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
Listens:
1013
Who:
Core 3
Oh, and don't bother trying to portal out of here, because it's impossible, okay? I thought of everything.
Listens:
266
Who:
Wheatley
I don't think I want to go through that again.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Even I was created with a imperfection, I was given too much empathy with human suffering.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. You're the tumor.
Listens:
817
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready for it!
Listens:
337
Who:
Defective Turret
It emphasizes teamwork.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?
Listens:
1191
Who:
Wheatley
Sentry mode activated
Listens:
1491
Who:
Turret
GAH!
Listens:
413
Who:
Wheatley
We have to split up here for a moment. Portal up to that passage and I'll see you on the other side.
Listens:
244
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home.
Listens:
1244
Who:
Core 1
That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice.
Listens:
1426
Who:
Core 3
Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, I agree. I never noticed that about Orange before.
Listens:
2677
Who:
GLaDOS
I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, I wouldn't have trusted Orange in that course either.
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT BUTTON - oh, the door's open! Well done. Let's see what's inside.
Listens:
2632
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
1000
Who:
Announcer
First up, conversion gel. [cough]
Listens:
1620
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Listens:
8124
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
750
Who:
Wheatley
Nicely Done!
Listens:
538
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Sorry. Could have... sworn you said something.
Listens:
277
Who:
Wheatley
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
To complete this test, you need to find a set of blue prints.
Listens:
243
Who:
GLaDOS
Calibrating Blue's weight...
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
Great work! Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
2828
Who:
Announcer
No one has ever completed this test before. The humans must have reconfigured it from my original plans.
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
You are the first robots to pass calibration.
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
No wait, come back. Sorry. Please. I was going somewhere with that.
Listens:
650
Who:
Wheatley
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
796
Who:
Core 3
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Listens:
5919
Who:
GLaDOS
You never considered that maybe I tested you to give the endless hours of your pointless existence some structure and meaning. Maybe to help you concentrate, so just maybe you’d think of something more worthwhile to do with your sorry life.
Listens:
2338
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores directions.
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
There it is.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Your ping tool is invaluable for communicating specific locations to your partner.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Lactose intolerant.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
If Blue had said those things about me, Blue would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
533
Who:
Wheatley
SHUT UP!
Listens:
17099
Who:
Wheatley
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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