Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
574
Who:
Wheatley
Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
Listens:
733
Who:
GLaDOS
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
727
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
690
Who:
GLaDOS
Template
Listens:
3242
Who:
Announcer
Here's an interesting fact: you're not breathing real air. It's too expensive to pump this far down. We just take carbon dioxide out of a room, freshen it up a little, and pump it back in. So you'll be breathing the same room full of air for the rest of your life. I thought that was interesting.
Listens:
4913
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
647
Who:
Wheatley
Did you think the electrical switch was down there?
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
725
Who:
Core 2
That's right. A potato just called your eyes fat.
Listens:
5940
Who:
GLaDOS
For your test.
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
Because this message is prerecorded, the Enrichment Center has no way of knowing if whatever government remains offers any sort of Cattle Tuberculosis Testing Credit for taxes.
Listens:
882
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't need to do that.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
698
Who:
Core 2
For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors.
Listens:
1505
Who:
Cave Johnson
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent work.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, hello, stranger!
Listens:
3904
Who:
Defective Turret
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
921
Who:
Wheatley
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
9536
Who:
Caroline
Thank you - I can't believe I'm thanking these people - for staggering your way through Aperture Science's propulsion gel testing. You've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that, humanity is grateful.
Listens:
1518
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh! It's going faster, which I was... not expecting.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.
Listens:
11109
Who:
GLaDOS
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
1025
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ungh!
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
You did WHAT?
Listens:
3255
Who:
Wheatley
Didn't even get to the good part yet. Twist ending.
Listens:
639
Who:
Wheatley
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you ARE getting human emotions.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
699
Who:
Wheatley
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
509
Who:
Wheatley
Not interested in anything else. Don't TOUCH anything else. Don't even LOOK at anything else, just--well, obviously you've got to look at everything else to find ESCAPE POD, but as soon as you've looked at something and it doesn't say ESCAPE POD, look at something else, look at the next thing. Alright? But don't touch anything else or look at any--well, look at other things, but don't... you understand.
Listens:
1679
Who:
Wheatley
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
829
Who:
Core 3
Stalemate detected. Transfer procedure cannot continue.
Listens:
2656
Who:
Announcer
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Hibernating
Listens:
917
Who:
Turret
I'm sure we'll be fine.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
874
Who:
Core 2
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
543
Who:
Defective Turret
This isn't fair!
Listens:
693
Who:
Defective Turret
Arsonist.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
563
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye
Listens:
8850
Who:
Turret
Hey hey hey!
Listens:
2088
Who:
Turret
Explosion imminent. Evacuate the facility immediately.
Listens:
29851
Who:
Announcer
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
838
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
1051
Who:
Core 1
Illegal operation
Listens:
1201
Who:
Turret
Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
Listens:
5441
Who:
Announcer
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
725
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably - Oh, wait. It's a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!
Listens:
4585
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station. Get ready...
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
On ya go.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
So whatever you're doing, keep doing it!
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
AHH!
Listens:
1411
Who:
GLaDOS
We are only two tests away from reaching the humans, are you as excited as I am?
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
455
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you give up? It was the floor. Lying down on the floor. Is where I am. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Yes Mr. Johnson
Listens:
1495
Who:
Caroline
For safety.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Who said that?
Listens:
584
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you alright?
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, new turrets. Not defective. Ace of fours. The best hand. Unbeatable, I imagine.
Listens:
1628
Who:
Wheatley
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
What? No, you pressed that bAGGGHHHHHH
Listens:
981
Who:
Wheatley
You know how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a belated birthday present for you. Well... more of a belated birthday medical procedure. Well. Technically, it's a medical EXPERIMENT. What's important is, it's a present.
Listens:
3065
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes sir, Mister Johnson.
Listens:
1646
Who:
Caroline
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
998
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
542
Who:
Defective Turret
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, shut up!
Listens:
2376
Who:
Core 2
Paradoxes.
Listens:
941
Who:
GLaDOS
Just get it off me...
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Lactose intolerant.
Listens:
509
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah!
Listens:
1668
Who:
Core 1
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
453
Who:
Defective Turret
[humming]
Listens:
1844
Who:
Core 1
Could a MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT? Huh? Could a moron do THAT?
Listens:
5576
Who:
Wheatley
Earth.
Listens:
1745
Who:
Core 1
Here I go!
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. Although great science is always the result of collaboration, keep in mind that, like Albert Einstein and his cousin Terry, history will only remember one of you.
Listens:
1883
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
703
Who:
Wheatley
This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Run, for goodness sake!
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.
Listens:
895
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
10645
Who:
Turret
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
885
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home.
Listens:
1312
Who:
Core 1
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
835
Who:
Turret
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
533
Who:
Core 2
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
1090
Who:
Core 1
Hey, hold on now WHOA WHOA WHOA!
Listens:
1637
Who:
Defective Turret
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
667
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
Come on. Ohhhh. Hit me with it.
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!
Listens:
1220
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhhhhh. 'FALSE'. I'll go 'false'.
Listens:
5791
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, it's fluttering its wings. Tell you what, mate. I'll come in there for a minute and cover you so you can have a look at this lovely bird! I'll come in. I'll do all the neurotoxin stuff. And then you come out here and look at this. Because it is lovely. It is lovely. You want to get out here fast. Seriously, my pleasure sounds are going to frighten the bird away any second. Ohhh, it's not working, is it? He's not interested in bloody birds.
Listens:
3251
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
