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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Original Order
Random
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Never completes work.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Per our last conversation: You're also ugly. I'm looking at your file right now, and it mentions that more than once.
Listens:
1245
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
539
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
656
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
497
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I'm back. The Aerial Faith Plate in here is sending a distress signal.
Listens:
1275
Who:
GLaDOS
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
3723
Who:
Turret
Defective Turret testing active.
Listens:
914
Who:
Announcer
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
975
Who:
Cave Johnson
Help! Being squished!
Listens:
1355
Who:
Turret
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
726
Who:
GLaDOS
Wet blanket.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
831
Who:
Turret
Get dirty with this robot! This robot owes you money! This robot owes! You! Money!
Listens:
1303
Who:
Core 2
AH! I've just done it again.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Please return to the core transfer bay.
Listens:
1331
Who:
Announcer
You just beat this test. Literally twenty seconds ago.
Listens:
654
Who:
Wheatley
I am!
Listens:
1341
Who:
Caroline
Oh, look. There's a deer! You probably can't see it. Get closer.
Listens:
1232
Who:
GLaDOS
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
730
Who:
Core 3
It says this next test was designed by one of Aperture's Nobel prize winners. It doesn't say what the prize was for. Well, I know it wasn't for Being Immune To Neurotoxin.
Listens:
1211
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
1025
Who:
Wheatley
Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
Listens:
5162
Who:
Announcer
Come on through.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
I swear I know him...
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, orange isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Blue is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
Sollllve it...
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
765
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
13618
Who:
Turret
Alternate core detected.
Listens:
1569
Who:
Announcer
Yes sir, Mister Johnson.
Listens:
1568
Who:
Caroline
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
519
Who:
Core 3
Can't. See. A. Thing.
Listens:
1356
Who:
Defective Turret
Crushing's too good for him. First he'll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two: Cryogenic refrigeration wing. Then TEN years in the chamber I built where all the robots scream at you. THEN I'll kill him.
Listens:
4228
Who:
GLaDOS
This body is amazing, seriously!
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Warning: Core overheating. Nuclear meltdown imminent.
Listens:
17807
Who:
Announcer
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
569
Who:
GLaDOS
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
737
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sure we'll be fine.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are, reassembled again.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
610
Who:
Core 3
You're angry. I know it. 'She’s tested me too hard.' Boo hoo. I don't suppose you ever stopped whining long enough to reflect on your own shortcomings, though, did you?
Listens:
5264
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's keep moving. The factory entrance must be around here somewhere.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
Hell, put her in my computer. I don't care.
Listens:
1615
Who:
Cave Johnson
BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
Listens:
660
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking of all the ways humans can die.
Listens:
1498
Who:
GLaDOS
[clap clap]
Listens:
21307
Who:
GLaDOS
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow.
Listens:
505
Who:
Wheatley
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, take the lemons...
Listens:
37582
Who:
GLaDOS
But you were different weren't you? Such a good jumper. Problem solver. Clever. But ambitious. That's your Achilles Heel. Mine's-oh! Oh! Almost told you. Clever, clever girl. Again: brain damaged like a fox, you.
Listens:
2217
Who:
Wheatley
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not do it!
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Really? Okay.
Listens:
1026
Who:
GLaDOS
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
Awwww, come on.
Listens:
1060
Who:
Defective Turret
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
Please do not engage with turrets heading towards redemption.
Listens:
923
Who:
Announcer
Ah, I see. Clever. Verrrrrrry clever.
Listens:
2895
Who:
Wheatley
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
756
Who:
Core 3
Come on! We have to go!
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
840
Who:
GLaDOS
Undelete, undelete! Where's the undelete button?
Listens:
2590
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, it's alright. Go ahead.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, just give me a wave before you solve this one, alright? Don't want to spoil the ending for when I watch it later.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
596
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
757
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, stop muckin' around! Plug me in!
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
There is a box part here. Probably got some electronics in there.
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
What's a guy gotta do to get some bullets around here?
Listens:
1035
Who:
Defective Turret
So: there's PLENTY of time to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
1097
Who:
Announcer
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
801
Who:
Core 2
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
1025
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah. Clickety click click. Right on the money.
Listens:
3211
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeghh!
Listens:
587
Who:
Wheatley
You did WHAT?
Listens:
3153
Who:
Wheatley
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
375
Who:
Defective Turret
You know what I hope's in space? Fire. I hope you go to space and catch on fire.
Listens:
5449
Who:
Core 2
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
Long bathroom breaks.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
It's happening sooner than I expected.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
I HAVE to test. All the time. Or I get this... this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something.
Listens:
1140
Who:
Wheatley
Blue to be clear, I was asking if Orange trusted you.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
Deploying
Listens:
2994
Who:
Turret
Awful attendance record.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
926
Who:
Defective Turret
Insecure.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
1044
Who:
Core 1
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
944
Who:
GLaDOS
Charmless.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror.
Listens:
1221
Who:
Core 3
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
1075
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
976
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
942
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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