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Portal 2
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Why did I just-Who is that? What the HELL is going on he----?
Listens:
1625
Who:
GLaDOS
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
559
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
522
Who:
GLaDOS
Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
Listens:
1139
Who:
Core 3
clickclickclick
Listens:
627
Who:
Defective Turret
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
855
Who:
Turret
Well, no matter. Because I'm STILL holding all the cards, and guess what: they're allll Full Houses! I've never played cards. Meaning to learn.
Listens:
2093
Who:
Wheatley
But I'm huge! [laugh turning to maniacal laugh]
Listens:
38951
Who:
Wheatley
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
877
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, here's a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto.
Listens:
944
Who:
GLaDOS
Avoid defective defective turrets as they may still be active.
Listens:
909
Who:
Announcer
This way! This way!
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.
Listens:
4799
Who:
Cave Johnson
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
Listens:
5817
Who:
Core 3
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
But you were different weren't you? Such a good jumper. Problem solver. Clever. But ambitious. That's your Achilles Heel. Mine's-oh! Oh! Almost told you. Clever, clever girl. Again: brain damaged like a fox, you.
Listens:
2274
Who:
Wheatley
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that in your memory banks?
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
457
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
1033
Who:
Core 1
Gotcha!
Listens:
2278
Who:
Turret
You know what I hope's in space? Fire. I hope you go to space and catch on fire.
Listens:
5483
Who:
Core 2
Not done yet. You've still got to get through the door. Need to get through the door there.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Press the button!
Listens:
1396
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you guess 'sharks'? Because that's wrong. The correct answer is 'nobody.' Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.
Listens:
4200
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
523
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
798
Who:
Core 3
I, uh... I am a bad man.
Listens:
891
Who:
Defective Turret
Put me down!
Listens:
979
Who:
Turret
She's the backbone of this facility. Pretty as a postcard, too. Sorry, fellas. She's married. To science.
Listens:
1768
Who:
Cave Johnson
Alternate core detected.
Listens:
1636
Who:
Announcer
Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have one hundred different words for snow. They do, however, have two hundred and thirty-four words for fudge.
Listens:
1453
Who:
Core 3
You will know it when you find it.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, maybe it's time I did something then.
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
634
Who:
GLaDOS
That’s right. You're not humans.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
On ya go.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
Did something break back there?
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
740
Who:
Wheatley
Hello? Anyone in there?
Listens:
1407
Who:
Wheatley
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
768
Who:
GLaDOS
It won't be enough.
Listens:
1064
Who:
Turret
Carry on.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
657
Who:
Defective Turret
Who ARE you?
Listens:
3607
Who:
Turret
Yes Mr. Johnson
Listens:
1475
Who:
Caroline
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
782
Who:
GLaDOS
We are?
Listens:
689
Who:
Core 1
Had a bit of a brain wave. There I was, smashing some steel plates together, and I thought, 'yes, it's deadly. But what's missing? What's missing?' And I thought lots of sharp bits welded onto the flat bits.
Listens:
1935
Who:
Wheatley
AHHHHHHH!
Listens:
2049
Who:
Wheatley
Never shares.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
3746
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no...
Listens:
585
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, that transpired just as you said it would.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
You're angry. I know it. 'She’s tested me too hard.' Boo hoo. I don't suppose you ever stopped whining long enough to reflect on your own shortcomings, though, did you?
Listens:
5371
Who:
GLaDOS
Annnnnnnnd... Nothing.
Listens:
3322
Who:
Wheatley
We're running out of time...
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
Try something.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha... That sounded real. No! That was actually an impression of you. Actually. Because you just fell into my trap. My brilliant trap. Just then. I wanted you to trick me into bursting that pipe. You didn't trick me. Seemingly trick me. Gives you false hope. Leads to overconfidence. And that leads to mistakes. Fatal mistakes. It's all part of my plan.
Listens:
2094
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling. [BUZZER]
Listens:
3042
Who:
Announcer
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
449
Who:
GLaDOS
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
454
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
480
Who:
Defective Turret
Sorry
Listens:
2841
Who:
Turret
I’m afraid of heights!
Listens:
1277
Who:
Turret
NO!
Listens:
862
Who:
GLaDOS
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
I wonder if the humans will make a statue of me for rescuing them? Oh, don't worry, if they ever write a historical document of my heroic rescue, I will make sure your names are included in the footnotes.
Listens:
579
Who:
GLaDOS
Polymerase I polypeptide A is a human gene.
Listens:
629
Who:
Core 3
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
846
Who:
Wheatley
Yes Orange, we are alone. Blue can't hear you.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange
Listens:
716
Who:
GLaDOS
I can’t keep quiet about this. I think Orange is actively trying to sabotage your success. Let’s keep this between us.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
These bridges are made from natural light that I pump in from the surface. If you rubbed your cheek on one, it would be like standing outside with the sun shining on your face. It would also set your hair on fire, so don't actually do it.
Listens:
2261
Who:
GLaDOS
Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
666
Who:
Defective Turret
The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three. Two. One.
Listens:
2028
Who:
Announcer
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
571
Who:
Core 2
Touche, young lady, touche.
Listens:
1266
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
How was that?
Listens:
377
Who:
Defective Turret
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
579
Who:
Wheatley
This lock requires humans.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
665
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotta go to space. Lady. Lady.
Listens:
25538
Who:
Core 1
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
Fire detected in the Stalemate Resolution Annex. Extinguishing.
Listens:
2504
Who:
Announcer
I found two little robots back here. Built specifically for testin'!
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Hello again, this testing course was originally created for humans.
Listens:
1299
Who:
GLaDOS
I know how humans make more humans, and frankly, it's ridiculous. It also assumes that you already have a human, which I hope somebody got fired over. So I came up a with BETTER way.
Listens:
23810
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
*I* have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up fifteen acres of broken glass. By myself.
Listens:
1845
Who:
GLaDOS
Old.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Even I was created with a imperfection, I was given too much empathy with human suffering.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
895
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, what?
Listens:
440
Who:
Defective Turret
eight
Listens:
583
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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