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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Open the door!
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
Take me with you? Please?
Listens:
906
Who:
Defective Turret
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
569
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't listen to her, do it.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
560
Who:
Wheatley
NO.
Listens:
2099
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Listen. I can't do it with you watching. I know it seems pathetic, given what we've been through. But just turn around. Please?
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
I need backup!
Listens:
718
Who:
Turret
Blue! Orange has always been my favorite.
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
3931
Who:
Turret
Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.
Listens:
2476
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
515
Who:
Wheatley
Really? You’re just going to blatantly cheat?
Listens:
722
Who:
GLaDOS
I would say extremely deadly but we all know, for you and your amazing ability to be reassembled nothing is deadly.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
658
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning: Core corruption at 50 percent.
Listens:
8268
Who:
Announcer
Don't press the button!
Listens:
779
Who:
Wheatley
You did very well.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1114
Who:
GLaDOS
Get in the lift! Get in the lift!
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
Even I was created with a imperfection, I was given too much empathy with human suffering.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
Space!
Listens:
2903
Who:
Core 1
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
466
Who:
Defective Turret
Ha! I knew we were going the right way.
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
906
Who:
Core 1
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
634
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
588
Who:
Defective Turret
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
949
Who:
GLaDOS
5000 point penalty! Are you happy now?
Listens:
1775
Who:
GLaDOS
There's some sort of control room up top. Let's go investigate.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
1006
Who:
Defective Turret
Response
Listens:
2835
Who:
Announcer
One moment.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Inattentive listener.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
Steals lunch from staff fridge.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
This. Sentence. Is. FALSE don't think about it don't think about it...
Listens:
32761
Who:
GLaDOS
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
1057
Who:
Turret
That's horrible.
Listens:
721
Who:
GLaDOS
These bridges are made from natural light that I pump in from the surface. If you rubbed your cheek on one, it would be like standing outside with the sun shining on your face. It would also set your hair on fire, so don't actually do it.
Listens:
2274
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't like space. Don't like space.
Listens:
3874
Who:
Core 1
Keep it up and you will lose 500 points.
Listens:
888
Who:
GLaDOS
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
Right behind me.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
There it is.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
There should be a portal device on that podium over there.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
I knew it was gonna be cool being in charge of everything, but... wow, this is cool!
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
1061
Who:
Core 1
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1310
Who:
Core 1
Hello!
Listens:
7129
Who:
Wheatley
Whoa! Hey! Don't fall!
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
If you're hearing this, it means you're taking a long time on the catwalks between tests. The lab boys say that might be a fear reaction.
Listens:
1603
Who:
Cave Johnson
Still a work in progress, don't judge me yet. Eventually I'd like to get them to sort of shoot fire at you, moments before crushing you. That's what I'm aiming for. But you know, small steps.
Listens:
1478
Who:
Wheatley
I thought we could test like we used to. But I'm discovering things about you that I never saw before. We can't ever go back to the way it was.
Listens:
6876
Who:
GLaDOS
Conversion gel. It's dripping out of that pipe there.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
804
Who:
Core 3
What about that camera?
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
772
Who:
Core 3
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
948
Who:
GLaDOS
And... forty potato batteries. Embarrassing. I realize they’re children. Still: low hanging fruit. Barely science, really.
Listens:
1448
Who:
Wheatley
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
648
Who:
Core 2
Ohhhh, now he's playing classical music.
Listens:
3733
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.
Listens:
2576
Who:
Core 3
It's like you're just machines.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
677
Who:
Wheatley
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
593
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
998
Who:
Wheatley
I am not sure you will need him but he will be there.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
958
Who:
Wheatley
Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt--
Listens:
8438
Who:
Cave Johnson
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
928
Who:
GLaDOS
Look how small you are down there! I can barely see you! Very tiny and insignificant!
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
788
Who:
Defective Turret
Thank you for completing the testing courses. If you enjoyed your experience, you may now re-enter the testing course of your choice.
Listens:
970
Who:
Announcer
Now than, let's see what we got here. Ah! 'Reactor Core Emergency Heat Venting Protocols.' That's the problem right there, isn't it? 'Emergency'. You don't want to see 'emergency' flashing at you. Never good that, is it? Right. DELETE.
Listens:
1451
Who:
Wheatley
So go ahead and jump. What's the worst that could happen? Oh. Oh wait, I just now thought of the worst thing. Oh! I just thought of something even worse. Alright. New, better plan: no imagining of any potential outcomes whatsoever. Just jump, into the abyss, there, and let's see what happens.
Listens:
621
Who:
Wheatley
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
511
Who:
Defective Turret
Come back!
Listens:
475
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, the Sun. I'm gonna meet the Sun. Oh no! What'll I say? 'Hi! Hi, Sun!' Oh, boy!
Listens:
3462
Who:
Core 1
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
607
Who:
Core 2
Nooooooooo...
Listens:
1618
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
883
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Was that your bullet-riddled body, flying out of the room? It was- aww, those were the crap turrets, weren't they? Yeah...
Listens:
2155
Who:
Wheatley
Back again? Maybe you can just stay and live here.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
872
Who:
Wheatley
I'm in space.
Listens:
1891
Who:
Core 1
Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
Listens:
10003
Who:
Cave Johnson
Yeghh!
Listens:
631
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Squeaky-voice! Gimme some of your bullets!
Listens:
2473
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright, check THIS out.
Listens:
382
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
So. How are you holding up?
Listens:
2491
Who:
GLaDOS
The photos weren't as popular as we had hoped, so we repurposed the cameras.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! There you are. Great. Let me just get rid of this catwalk.
Listens:
407
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
6271
Who:
Turret
You really do have brain damage, don't you?
Listens:
2235
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange what did you do?
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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