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Portal 2
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Yes indeed. Yes indeed.
Listens:
2215
Who:
Defective Turret
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
Listens:
28671
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
That's right. A potato just called your eyes fat.
Listens:
5803
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you were wondering, you do not need to be crushed to solve this test.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
1028
Who:
Announcer
So... you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST... FINE.
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it.
Listens:
1376
Who:
Announcer
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
509
Who:
GLaDOS
In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event.
Listens:
1639
Who:
Core 3
I think I can break us out of here in the next chamber. Just play along.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
[hums 'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow']
Listens:
4986
Who:
GLaDOS
Just... have a look through the old window.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
At the time of this recording, Federal disclosure policies require us to inform you that this next test is probably lethal and to redirect you to a safer test environment.
Listens:
1495
Who:
Announcer
Wait. Just thought of something? How am I going to get in? You know, being bloody massive and everything.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Incoherent.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Per our last conversation: You're also ugly. I'm looking at your file right now, and it mentions that more than once.
Listens:
1262
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
421
Who:
Wheatley
Calibrating Blue's weight...
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, I'm pulling you out.
Listens:
716
Who:
GLaDOS
You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open.
Listens:
3639
Who:
Announcer
Fact not found.
Listens:
740
Who:
Core 3
Just glass. Transparent. Smooth. Not going to hurt you. Have a look.
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
The photos weren't as popular as we had hoped, so we repurposed the cameras.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Pop a portal. Behind me, on the wall. Come on through.
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now. [phone ringing] The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up. [Dial tone]
Listens:
28312
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
810
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
656
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
408
Who:
Defective Turret
Antagonistic. I don't know about that.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
We're in space!
Listens:
2539
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, that felt really good.
Listens:
1415
Who:
Wheatley
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
553
Who:
Core 3
I forbid you to press it!
Listens:
618
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
456
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m on fire.
Listens:
2436
Who:
Turret
Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have one hundred different words for snow. They do, however, have two hundred and thirty-four words for fudge.
Listens:
1435
Who:
Core 3
You broke it, didn't you.
Listens:
2548
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
9731
Who:
Wheatley
No!
Listens:
646
Who:
Wheatley
Now I spy something that starts with an 'a'.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
Sir, the testing?
Listens:
2410
Who:
Caroline
This door's actually pretty complicated.
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
Stay back.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Please return to the core transfer bay.
Listens:
1347
Who:
Announcer
While I will receive all the glory for the rescue don't think you two aren't going to get something. The bond you form during these tests will last a lifetime.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
1036
Who:
Turret
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
584
Who:
Defective Turret
Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises--[train horn]--
Listens:
34773
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent! You're a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them?
Listens:
3326
Who:
GLaDOS
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1070
Who:
GLaDOS
By completing all test courses, you have achieved Level C security clearance. You may now access all testing courses and three of Aperture Science's 176 restrooms.
Listens:
1283
Who:
Announcer
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
557
Who:
Core 2
Just stop it already.
Listens:
497
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you put a virus in them? It's not going to work either. I've got a firewall, mate. Literally, actually, now that I look around. There appears to be literally a wall of fire around this place. Alarming. To say the least.
Listens:
24027
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
Orange do what Blue just did.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
776
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! But I did find something. Reminds me: I've got a big surprise for you two. Seriously. Look forward to it.
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
434
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
386
Who:
Wheatley
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
415
Who:
GLaDOS
Right on that stick over there. Just put me right on it.
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
556
Who:
Wheatley
Yay, Blue is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
698
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay! No, don't worry! Don't worry! I've got it I've got it I've got it! THIS should slow it down!
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Where'd you go?
Listens:
371
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, Orange and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
449
Who:
GLaDOS
To reiterate: This is not a competition.
Listens:
659
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still there? Can you pick me up, do you think? If you are there?
Listens:
2568
Who:
Wheatley
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
772
Who:
Core 3
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
768
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. It's you. Go away.
Listens:
1886
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Let's figure out how to stop this turret line...
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
997
Who:
Wheatley
Well done. In fact, you did so well, I'm going to note this on your file, in the commendations section. Oh, there's lots of room here. 'Did.... well. ... Enough.'
Listens:
4886
Who:
GLaDOS
'Yes, sir, Mister Johnson...'
Listens:
1882
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh boy.
Listens:
1056
Who:
Core 1
What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
Listens:
7179
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, how about now? NOW WHO'S A MORON?
Listens:
1929
Who:
Wheatley
You just beat this test. Literally twenty seconds ago.
Listens:
665
Who:
Wheatley
So much space. Need to see it all.
Listens:
1906
Who:
Core 1
It shouldn't be hard to stay alive long enough to find him.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, brilliant. You DID find a portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave.
Listens:
2864
Who:
Wheatley
Oh... can someone reassemble Blue?
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
443
Who:
Defective Turret
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
454
Who:
Core 2
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
915
Who:
Core 3
The end.
Listens:
1609
Who:
GLaDOS
'Caw! Caw!' Oh, look! There's a bird out here! A Lovely bird. Gorgeous plumage. Majestic. Won't be here long. A lovely bird like that. Once in a lifetime opportunity to see a lovely bird like that. Lovely plumage.
Listens:
4100
Who:
Wheatley
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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