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Portal 2
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Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises--[train horn]--
Listens:
32809
Who:
GLaDOS
So that's just what I was doing. I was just reading... ah... books. So I'm not a moron.
Listens:
2124
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, off you go!
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
849
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going to space.
Listens:
1129
Who:
Core 1
Please put me down
Listens:
1241
Who:
Turret
Can you get out?
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
605
Who:
GLaDOS
Incoherent.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
Stubborn.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't do it.
Listens:
594
Who:
GLaDOS
You really do have brain damage, don't you?
Listens:
1927
Who:
GLaDOS
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
*I* have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up fifteen acres of broken glass. By myself.
Listens:
1521
Who:
GLaDOS
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
Pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out!
Listens:
2759
Who:
Wheatley
Not much of a plan, if I'm honest. But I'm afraid it's all we have at his point. Barring a sudden barrage of speech from your direction. Improbable. At best.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
A, A, A, A, A, A. [NNNT!] No. A, A, A, A, A, B. [NNNT!] Hold on, I've done both of these. Skip ahead. A, B, C... D, G, H.[DING!]
Listens:
167962
Who:
Wheatley
Say goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
5263
Who:
Cave Johnson
OW!
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
It shouldn't be hard to stay alive long enough to find him.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.
Listens:
1770
Who:
GLaDOS
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
425
Who:
Wheatley
The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
Listens:
653
Who:
Core 3
Self test error
Listens:
1298
Who:
Turret
Old.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Is it the lack of mirrors in test chambers that encourages you to do this?
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
Fears conflict.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
504
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
749
Who:
Core 3
I would say extremely deadly but we all know, for you and your amazing ability to be reassembled nothing is deadly.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
731
Who:
Wheatley
Annnnd off we go!
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
And off we go.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
Very impressive! Because this message is prerecorded, any comments we may make about your success are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
1251
Who:
GLaDOS
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
500
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
446
Who:
Wheatley
Come on through to the other side.
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
865
Who:
GLaDOS
She’s probably okay.
Listens:
663
Who:
Turret
Orange do what Blue just did.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
She is a gem.
Listens:
2723
Who:
Cave Johnson
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
691
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
6826
Who:
Announcer
By completing all test courses, you have achieved Level C security clearance. You may now access all testing courses and three of Aperture Science's 176 restrooms.
Listens:
1202
Who:
Announcer
If you had underwear? And a butt? I would pull your underwear... right up your butt.
Listens:
25766
Who:
Core 2
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
719
Who:
Wheatley
Never on time.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Clearly that was blue's fault. Blue is penalized 3 science collaboration points.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Powerup initiated.
Listens:
4180
Who:
Announcer
Being Caroline taught me another valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
811
Who:
GLaDOS
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
Here she comes! Keep testing! Remember: you never saw me!
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering.
Listens:
596
Who:
Core 3
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
457
Who:
Defective Turret
While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
778
Who:
Core 3
I saw it. It was an accident.
Listens:
863
Who:
Turret
You both need to do something.
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
Hooray!
Listens:
4747
Who:
Turret
Fine, 500 point penalty for Orange.
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
456
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
941
Who:
Wheatley
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
660
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know. He's not your slave.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
You're on your own.
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
It says this next test was designed by one of Aperture's Nobel prize winners. It doesn't say what the prize was for. Well, I know it wasn't for Being Immune To Neurotoxin.
Listens:
1145
Who:
GLaDOS
The good news is... well, none so far, to be honest. I'll get back to you on that.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh!
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
Hello.
Listens:
3983
Who:
Turret
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
497
Who:
Wheatley
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
685
Who:
Turret
Still a work in progress, don't judge me yet. Eventually I'd like to get them to sort of shoot fire at you, moments before crushing you. That's what I'm aiming for. But you know, small steps.
Listens:
1408
Who:
Wheatley
Blue
Listens:
1704
Who:
GLaDOS
Nonononononono!
Listens:
6632
Who:
Defective Turret
'Let there be light.' That's, uh... God. I was quoting God.
Listens:
2133
Who:
Wheatley
I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME.
Listens:
7294
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go of me!
Listens:
425
Who:
Wheatley
Standing down.
Listens:
341
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
1038
Who:
Defective Turret
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Look at you. Dancing.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
Quick word about the future plans that I've got in store.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
955
Who:
Core 1
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
612
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sulking.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
I think he's getting desperate.
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
You will need him for the final track.
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!
Listens:
600
Who:
Wheatley
Timid.
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on! Over here! This way!
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, this is taking too long. I'll just tell you how to solve the test.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
No A.I. can resist thinking about them.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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