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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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It's a paradox! There IS no answer.
Listens:
4887
Who:
GLaDOS
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
449
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
Listens:
657
Who:
Core 2
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
412
Who:
Wheatley
Alarmist.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
1392
Who:
GLaDOS
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
455
Who:
Core 2
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Listens:
9186
Who:
GLaDOS
Why...
Listens:
2822
Who:
Turret
Oh! What can we do with me then. I know! Plug me into the port, please.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
651
Who:
Wheatley
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
Mister Johnson
Listens:
1772
Who:
Caroline
science collaboration points.
Listens:
691
Who:
GLaDOS
I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
I forbid you to press it!
Listens:
629
Who:
Wheatley
Blue! Orange has always been my favorite.
Listens:
615
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh...
Listens:
478
Who:
Defective Turret
Good.
Listens:
568
Who:
GLaDOS
AHHHHHHH!
Listens:
2038
Who:
Wheatley
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
1038
Who:
GLaDOS
This time is OUR time.
Listens:
1711
Who:
Defective Turret
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
474
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh dear.
Listens:
903
Who:
Turret
No no no, not that way!
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Ahungh.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Come closer.
Listens:
682
Who:
Turret
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
738
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
785
Who:
Defective Turret
This is not good.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.
Listens:
1882
Who:
Announcer
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
No variances detected.
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1476
Who:
GLaDOS
Wheeeeee-OHNO!
Listens:
8642
Who:
Turret
It'll be fine. Get in.
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Brain Mapping. Artificial Intelligence. We should have been working on it thirty years ago. I will say this - and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody hears it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place.
Listens:
2737
Who:
Cave Johnson
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, hang on. What if we gave it something ELSE to scan?
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Orange is awarded five points!
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahahaha
Listens:
2102
Who:
Turret
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
585
Who:
GLaDOS
Awful attendance record.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing in there?
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
400
Who:
Wheatley
You may want to try and avoid those turrets.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Two. One or two more tremors in there. Just for fun.
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
There. Fixed.
Listens:
520
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, hold on, hold on... Almost there...
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
Yay, Blue is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
718
Who:
GLaDOS
We will both die because of your negligence.
Listens:
1245
Who:
Core 3
What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
Listens:
7237
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it!
Listens:
456
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! It's going faster, which I was... not expecting.
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
You know, in the end, yes, they let me go. It's all politics, to be honest. It's a big popularity contest, it's all about who you know, and whose back you're willing to scratch, who doesn't touch -- or, in my case, who did accidentally touch -- the neurotoxin button.
Listens:
1349
Who:
Wheatley
Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
Listens:
707
Who:
GLaDOS
If we start making a list of things that aren't here, we could be here all night. You know, pens for instance. Let's stick with things we can see. Not stuff that isn't here.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
1016
Who:
Core 1
Am I being too vague? I despise you. I loathe you. You arrogant, smugly quiet, awful jumpsuited monster of a woman. You and your little potato friend. This place would have been a triumph if it wasn't for you!
Listens:
22123
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes indeed. Yes indeed.
Listens:
2228
Who:
Defective Turret
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
Run!
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
Don't. Do it.
Listens:
877
Who:
GLaDOS
To maintain a constant testing cycle, I simulate daylight at all hours and add adrenal vapor to your oxygen supply. So you may be confused about the passage of time. The point is, yesterday was your birthday. I thought you'd want to know.
Listens:
3692
Who:
GLaDOS
Those people, in the portrait. They look so familiar...
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.
Listens:
2983
Who:
Core 3
Space!
Listens:
2876
Who:
Core 1
Hey! Hey! Up here!
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
No, no, I'm sure it's this way. I'm definitely sure it's this way.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Take me with you? Please?
Listens:
877
Who:
Defective Turret
Go on.
Listens:
895
Who:
Wheatley
Your test times show you are going too slowly.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't think I'm not onto you too, lady. You know what you are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here! What have you sacrificed? NOTHING. Zero. All you've done is BOSS ME AROUND. Well, NOW who's the boss? Who's the boss? It's me!
Listens:
2534
Who:
Wheatley
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Corrupted Core: are you ready to start?
Listens:
2711
Who:
Announcer
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
464
Who:
Wheatley
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
980
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, do do it!
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here.
Listens:
1478
Who:
Core 2
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
1138
Who:
Wheatley
Lacks charisma.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again. Sorry about exploding you. Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
2792
Who:
GLaDOS
Yahh. Gehhh!
Listens:
725
Who:
Wheatley
He's found the cooperative testing initiative. It's... em, just something I came up with to phase out human test subjects.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
634
Who:
GLaDOS
Unknown error
Listens:
1861
Who:
Turret
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
1043
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Non-lethal as ever.
Listens:
881
Who:
Defective Turret
Here's another core! This one should do it!
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Thought you'd seen the last of us, didn't ya?
Listens:
702
Who:
Defective Turret
It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
3800
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, Blue and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
836
Who:
Wheatley
Space...
Listens:
1288
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
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