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Portal 2
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To complete this test, you need to find a set of blue prints.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're dying, but not dead, stomp once. If you're dead, obviously no stomps. And two stomps if you're not dead. Lemme just run through that again: If you're dying but not dead stomp just once. If you're dead, obviously you won't be stomping. And if you're not dead, give me two stomps.
Listens:
1289
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, that's right! Still defective!
Listens:
906
Who:
Defective Turret
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
832
Who:
Core 3
On the floor. Needing your help. The whole time. All the time. Needing your help.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Touche, young lady, touche.
Listens:
1270
Who:
Defective Turret
Here it is - the turret factory entrance! We made it.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
866
Who:
Core 3
Don't. Do it.
Listens:
920
Who:
GLaDOS
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
(excited gasps)
Listens:
1629
Who:
Core 1
Okay, quick recap: We are escaping! That's what's happening now: we're escaping. So you're doing great. Just keep running!
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no! nonononono!
Listens:
14488
Who:
Wheatley
You two aren't lost are you?
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
I, uh... I am a bad man.
Listens:
893
Who:
Defective Turret
How you doing down there? You still holding on?
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Blue is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are
Listens:
2499
Who:
Turret
[BUZZER NOISE]
Listens:
22588
Who:
Wheatley
Come on through.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
1022
Who:
Core 1
Oh for... They told me if I ever turned this flashlight on, I would DIE. They told me that about EVERYTHING. I don't know why they even bothered to give me this stuff if they didn't want me usin' it. It's pointless. Mad.
Listens:
2029
Who:
Wheatley
SPAAACCCCCE!
Listens:
588002
Who:
Core 1
Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, blue isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Orange is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh... Wha- What happened?
Listens:
1488
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Space. Space. Comets. Stars. Galaxies. Orion.
Listens:
1975
Who:
Core 1
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
621
Who:
Wheatley
Thought you'd seen the last of us, didn't ya?
Listens:
718
Who:
Defective Turret
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
772
Who:
Defective Turret
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
682
Who:
GLaDOS
Give up? Also the floor. Was the answer that time. Same as before. Still on the floor.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Help! Being squished!
Listens:
1390
Who:
Turret
Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
943
Who:
Wheatley
I was getting SO lonely down here. It's good to finally hear someone else's voice. I'm kidding, of course. God, I hate you.
Listens:
20397
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh, just... I just gotta get it through here...
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
567
Who:
Defective Turret
Who's there?
Listens:
2073
Who:
Turret
Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space.
Listens:
2744
Who:
Core 1
It's not, though.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
We're back!
Listens:
2077
Who:
Defective Turret
Stubborn.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
2007
Who:
Wheatley
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
645
Who:
Wheatley
Look down. Where am I? Where am I?
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
730
Who:
Core 3
Right behind me.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.
Listens:
1925
Who:
Announcer
Pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out!
Listens:
2948
Who:
Wheatley
Gah!
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, look, we're really close to busting out, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Deploying
Listens:
3066
Who:
Turret
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
615
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha, YES! I knew you'd solve it!
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
5397
Who:
GLaDOS
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
822
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, check THIS out.
Listens:
382
Who:
Defective Turret
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
862
Who:
Turret
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
785
Who:
Wheatley
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
1111
Who:
Wheatley
I'm different...
Listens:
69988
Who:
Turret
Hello?
Listens:
5036
Who:
Turret
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
592
Who:
Core 2
Alright, I'm pulling you out.
Listens:
748
Who:
GLaDOS
I know how we can BEAT him.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Really? Alright.
Listens:
394
Who:
Defective Turret
You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling. [BUZZER]
Listens:
3077
Who:
Announcer
Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Never flushes.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on come on come on!
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
You can't fire me I quit!
Listens:
3918
Who:
Defective Turret
Great work! Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
3046
Who:
Announcer
Just pop a portal right behind me there, and come on through to the other side.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Agh!
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Go on.
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
1120
Who:
Wheatley
I’m shocked you’d say that, Blue. If you killed your partner the test—I’m sorry. Wrong feed. Carry on, Orange. Good work.
Listens:
1271
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
1015
Who:
Core 1
We have to get you out of that room!
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him.
Listens:
1310
Who:
GLaDOS
This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Manipulative.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
435
Who:
Wheatley
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
557
Who:
Core 3
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
1001
Who:
Defective Turret
Sorry, what?
Listens:
2246
Who:
Wheatley
No! Don't! No! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
3340
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! Perhaps the turrets have found a way to use garrotes. That would explain the extremely... quiet killing. That I'm hearing.
Listens:
743
Who:
Wheatley
Participates unconstructively. Obviously a time-waster.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice.
Listens:
1510
Who:
Core 3
Resting
Listens:
691
Who:
Turret
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
957
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
They're not even your screens to break. It's vandalism. It's pure vandalism. You wouldn't do this if this was your house, would you? If I came around to your house smashin' your telly to bits, you'd be furious. And rightly so. Unbelievable.
Listens:
968
Who:
Wheatley
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
832
Who:
Wheatley
GET YOUR HANDES OFF ME! NO! STOP! No!
Listens:
4755
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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