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Portal 2
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Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.
Listens:
4863
Who:
Cave Johnson
Getting bored of space.
Listens:
6230
Who:
Core 1
Hey! Squeaky-voice! Gimme some of your bullets!
Listens:
2473
Who:
Defective Turret
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
460
Who:
Wheatley
Otherwise, I'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the Being Alive club. Ha ha.
Listens:
3836
Who:
GLaDOS
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
Aw, come on!
Listens:
703
Who:
Defective Turret
Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
943
Who:
Wheatley
Feeds off the misery of others.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you alright?
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
752
Who:
Wheatley
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
An extra special bonus course that ends with us finding and freeing humans!
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Enough! I told you not to put these cores on me. But you don't listen, do you? Quiet. All the time. Quietly not listening to a word I say. Judging me. Silently. The worst kind.
Listens:
1400
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
557
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
451
Who:
Wheatley
I’m flyinnnng!
Listens:
2534
Who:
Turret
Core transfer?
Listens:
817
Who:
GLaDOS
So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious!
Listens:
70592
Who:
GLaDOS
For the sake of this test, I will pretend to be your partner.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
20776
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh! Did it kill you? Oh, that would be amazing if it killed you.
Listens:
726
Who:
Wheatley
Not entirely, not entirely. Look at the word 'test', on the wall there. That's brand new.
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
883
Who:
GLaDOS
Say, you're good at murder. Could you - ow - murder this bird for me?
Listens:
4426
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
823
Who:
Core 3
The most poisonous fish in the world is the orange ruffy. Everything but its eyes are made of a deadly poison. The ruffy's eyes are composed of a less harmful, deadly poison.
Listens:
2428
Who:
Core 3
Please do not engage with turrets heading towards redemption.
Listens:
972
Who:
Announcer
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
742
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay back.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
From here we transport you to the new testing course.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
1051
Who:
Core 3
What are you doing? Put me back this instant.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go!
Listens:
413
Who:
Wheatley
I went and spoke with the door mainframe. Let's just say he won't be... well, living anymore. Anyway, back to testing.
Listens:
1537
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
1015
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't read.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't blame you
Listens:
24425
Who:
Turret
It's alright. No, go on, just have a look about.
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, that's right! Still defective!
Listens:
906
Who:
Defective Turret
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
1052
Who:
GLaDOS
I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
629
Who:
Wheatley
Come back!
Listens:
475
Who:
Wheatley
Alarmist.
Listens:
538
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
978
Who:
GLaDOS
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
1271
Who:
Wheatley
OW.
Listens:
797
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 3
*cough cough* Pressthebutton.
Listens:
7619
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
906
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
906
Who:
Core 1
Good work getting this far, future-starter! That said, if you are simple-minded, old, or irradiated in such a way that the future should not start with you, please return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better-qualified for testing.
Listens:
2697
Who:
Announcer
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
1072
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, now you're just being cruel. Orange receives 25 science collaboration points.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you testing me?
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh!
Listens:
1446
Who:
Turret
Oh!
Listens:
1352
Who:
Turret
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
3763
Who:
Wheatley
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
1294
Who:
Announcer
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
581
Who:
Defective Turret
ow.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
DO press it.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
1158
Who:
Announcer
I'll bet you think I forgot about your surprise. I didn't. In fact, we're headed to your surprise right now. After all these years. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it.
Listens:
713
Who:
GLaDOS
We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: it's a lively one, and it does NOT like the human skeleton.
Listens:
2567
Who:
Cave Johnson
I’m afraid of heights!
Listens:
1289
Who:
Turret
This on? [thump thump] Hey. Listen up down there. That thing's called an elevator. Not a bathroom.
Listens:
2247
Who:
Cave Johnson
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
534
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
1168
Who:
Wheatley
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
8915
Who:
Announcer
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
605
Who:
Wheatley
And trust me, humans only have one good trait.
Listens:
493
Who:
GLaDOS
Your ping tool can also be used to indicate to your partner where you would like them to place their portal.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
Please avoid alerting active turrets or being shot by active turrets.
Listens:
974
Who:
Announcer
You like revenge, right? Everybody likes revenge. Well, let's go get some.
Listens:
2837
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh there goes another one. They're not Inexpensive. I'd just like to point that out. It seems unfair to smash screens. You could give them to people. Instead of smashing them, unscrew them and give them to a homeless person. I don't know what a homeless person would do with one. But you get my point. And you can't unscrew them, they're bolted in. But - just stop it!
Listens:
1370
Who:
Wheatley
Fact not found.
Listens:
759
Who:
Core 3
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
685
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Non-lethal as ever.
Listens:
900
Who:
Defective Turret
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
964
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't listen to her! It IS true that you don't have the qualifications. But you've got something more important than that. A finger, with which to press that button, so that she won't kill us.
Listens:
1389
Who:
Wheatley
Martyr.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
1079
Who:
Wheatley
I HAVE to test. All the time. Or I get this... this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something.
Listens:
1190
Who:
Wheatley
Emotional problems.
Listens:
455
Who:
GLaDOS
There are 5000 other two subject teams in direct competition with you.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
Press the button again.
Listens:
1087
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, I wouldn't have trusted Orange in that course either.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
511
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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