Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Welcome to the enrichment center. [cough]
Listens:
6090
Who:
Cave Johnson
So. Was there anything you wanted to apologize to ME for?
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
There it is.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
1117
Who:
Core 1
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. [laughs]
Listens:
4215
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.
Listens:
1806
Who:
Announcer
Didn't even get to the good part yet. Twist ending.
Listens:
575
Who:
Wheatley
Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1137
Who:
Core 1
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
628
Who:
Defective Turret
You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
Listens:
519
Who:
Core 2
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
DANCING is NOT SCIENCE!
Listens:
44915
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
518
Who:
Defective Turret
Resting
Listens:
635
Who:
Turret
It's alright. No, go on, just have a look about.
Listens:
264
Who:
Wheatley
Orange do what Blue just did.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
758
Who:
Wheatley
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
610
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bad plan. You will fail.
Listens:
1780
Who:
Core 3
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
635
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, let's go!
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
Aw. Just thinking back to the old days when we were friends. Good old friends. Not enemies. And I'd say something like 'come back', and you'd be like 'no problem!' And you'd come back. What happened to those days?
Listens:
1792
Who:
Wheatley
Unconstructive.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this:
Listens:
633
Who:
Wheatley
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
540
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! How's it going! I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They are REALLY small, so -ah - I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
577
Who:
Wheatley
ow.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control? You know, because, looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
1346
Who:
Core 2
[yelling]
Listens:
551
Who:
Wheatley
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait. Just thought of something? How am I going to get in? You know, being bloody massive and everything.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
602
Who:
GLaDOS
Follow me! You're gonna love this.
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Button. Button.
Listens:
1337
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, so, silent contemplation it is. Mysterious button... Sorry. Sorry. Silence. Do not speak. In the silence. Let the silence descend. Here it comes. One hundred percent silence. From now. By the way, if you come up with any ideas, do flag them up. Don't feel you have to stay quiet because I've said absolute silence. So if you come up with an idea, mention it. Otherwise, absolute silence starting... Now.
Listens:
1739
Who:
Wheatley
Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine nine nine... nine nine ni- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate [FADES OUT]
Listens:
26829
Who:
Announcer
Orbit. Space orbit. In my spacesuit.
Listens:
1199
Who:
Core 1
At the time of this recording, Federal disclosure policies require us to inform you that this next test is probably lethal and to redirect you to a safer test environment.
Listens:
1452
Who:
Announcer
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
552
Who:
Defective Turret
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
466
Who:
Core 2
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
626
Who:
Core 2
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
1021
Who:
GLaDOS
Helloooo?
Listens:
1081
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
706
Who:
Defective Turret
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
540
Who:
GLaDOS
Could you just jump into that pit? There. That deadly pit.
Listens:
1811
Who:
Wheatley
Even humans, as stupid as they are, would say you look stupid when you do that.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
691
Who:
Core 2
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
521
Who:
Wheatley
Touche, young lady, touche.
Listens:
1200
Who:
Defective Turret
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
521
Who:
Core 2
Hello?
Listens:
6117
Who:
Turret
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
693
Who:
Core 3
Noooooo!
Listens:
1927
Who:
Turret
Your failing gives me no new data, it just delays the inevitable.
Listens:
261
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
949
Who:
Defective Turret
To celebrate, I have a surprise for you!
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
1041
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh my god. What has he done to this place?
Listens:
1527
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
506
Who:
Wheatley
Really, not even humans do that anymore.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
You really do have brain damage, don't you?
Listens:
1995
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, shut up!
Listens:
2224
Who:
Core 2
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
Ok... Here we go...
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
Orange is awarded five points!
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
You've still got to get through the door. Please. Need to get through that door there.
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, let's get started. This first test involves something the lab boys call 'repulsion gel.'
Listens:
1132
Who:
Cave Johnson
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
516
Who:
Wheatley
The locking mechanism can tell you aren't humans.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Self test error
Listens:
1326
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
800
Who:
Core 1
Space space going to space oh boy
Listens:
2098
Who:
Core 1
Was that course too difficult?
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh thank god, you're alright.
Listens:
1773
Who:
GLaDOS
It would compromise the test to divulge individual scores. However, I can tell you at least one of you is doing very, very well.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Do either of you feel like laughing?
Listens:
1250
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
If you had underwear? And a butt? I would pull your underwear... right up your butt.
Listens:
26183
Who:
Core 2
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
530
Who:
Core 2
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
609
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
2906
Who:
Turret
Oh I'll tell you what's also down there. Your parents and... There's also an escape elevator!. Down there. Funny. I should have mentioned it before. But so it's down there. So pop down. Jump down. You've got your folks down there and an escape elevator
Listens:
1055
Who:
Wheatley
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
Killing you? Is hard.
Listens:
1404
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
469
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
Never listens.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
957
Who:
Core 3
Don't make lemonade!
Listens:
20455
Who:
Turret
Anxious.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Per our last conversation: You're also ugly. I'm looking at your file right now, and it mentions that more than once.
Listens:
1229
Who:
GLaDOS
Right behind me.
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
862
Who:
Wheatley
There. Fixed.
Listens:
505
Who:
Wheatley
Egotistical.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
