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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
771
Who:
GLaDOS
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
605
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
596
Who:
Wheatley
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news. I figured out what to do with all the money I save recycling your one roomful of air. When you die, I'm going to laminate your skeleton and pose you in the lobby. That way future generations can learn from you how not to have your unfortunate bone structure.
Listens:
1354
Who:
GLaDOS
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
735
Who:
Core 3
If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you.
Listens:
3339
Who:
Announcer
Please do not engage with turrets heading towards redemption.
Listens:
913
Who:
Announcer
No!
Listens:
636
Who:
Wheatley
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
471
Who:
Core 2
I am!
Listens:
1334
Who:
Caroline
You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open.
Listens:
3614
Who:
Announcer
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
Dad! I'm in space! [low-pitched 'space' voice] I'm proud of you, son. [normal voice] Dad, are you space? [low-pitched 'space' voice] Yes. Now we are a family again.
Listens:
457406
Who:
Core 1
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
551
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue, that transpired just as you said it would.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you see it anywhere? I can't see it anywhere. Uh. Tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
Coming! Coming! Don't start yet!
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't want to hassle you. Sure you're busy. But--still here on the floor. Waiting to be picked up.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, that's sad. But impressive. Maybe they worked at the phone company.
Listens:
3373
Who:
GLaDOS
You've still got to get through the door. Please. Need to get through that door there.
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million. Bought 'em anyway. Ground 'em up, mixed em into a gel.
Listens:
18468
Who:
Cave Johnson
I can only imagine.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
How was that?
Listens:
355
Who:
Defective Turret
This is a clean room facility, decontaminates can harm the turret redemption process.
Listens:
884
Who:
Announcer
You know what? Just get in the lift. We'll iron out the details as we go.
Listens:
274
Who:
Wheatley
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
1891
Who:
Wheatley
Earth.
Listens:
1706
Who:
Core 1
The escape lift. Just there. Come on.
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
Miss you!
Listens:
725
Who:
GLaDOS
Takes long lunches.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue! Orange has always been my favorite.
Listens:
596
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. [laughs]
Listens:
4239
Who:
GLaDOS
There's some sort of control room up top. Let's go investigate.
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
NOT a team player.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
Just pop a portal right behind me there, and come on through to the other side.
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
988
Who:
Announcer
No. Makes it go faster.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
5000 point penalty! Are you happy now?
Listens:
1665
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha, YES! I knew you'd solve it!
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Timid.
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
420
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, that felt really good.
Listens:
1390
Who:
Wheatley
You have just passed through an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which vaporizes most Aperture Science equipment that touches it.
Listens:
891
Who:
Announcer
Really? Alright.
Listens:
357
Who:
Defective Turret
We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now!
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
Are we in space?
Listens:
1011
Who:
Core 1
The other? Well...
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6170
Who:
Cave Johnson
She's the backbone of this facility. Pretty as a postcard, too. Sorry, fellas. She's married. To science.
Listens:
1657
Who:
Cave Johnson
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
5215
Who:
GLaDOS
Come to gloat?
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
1058
Who:
Wheatley
Good, that's still working.
Listens:
1949
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
972
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
Listens:
7144
Who:
GLaDOS
No can do.
Listens:
354
Who:
Defective Turret
You really are doing great... Chell.
Listens:
42382
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
905
Who:
Wheatley
Problems with authority.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
THEY didn't fly into space, storm a beach, or bring back the gold. No sir, we did! It's you and me against the world, son! I like your grit! Hustle could use some work, though. Now let's solve this thing!
Listens:
1942
Who:
Cave Johnson
Defective Turret testing active.
Listens:
906
Who:
Announcer
We all agree you should stop.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Probably ought to bring you up to speed on something right now.
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
[Laughter]
Listens:
5767
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.
Listens:
26435
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi?
Listens:
843
Who:
Turret
In case you are worried about the humans, don't be. They aren't all monsters.
Listens:
1756
Who:
GLaDOS
She’s probably okay.
Listens:
694
Who:
Turret
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
1033
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
446
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
5850
Who:
GLaDOS
Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1263
Who:
Announcer
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
Keep moving, keep moving...
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
493
Who:
GLaDOS
Space!
Listens:
1655
Who:
Core 1
Don't shoot!
Listens:
2473
Who:
Turret
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
732
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
564
Who:
Wheatley
Argumentative.
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
923
Who:
GLaDOS
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
NNGH! It's not enough! If I'm such a moron, why can't you solve a simple test?
Listens:
1640
Who:
Wheatley
Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space.
Listens:
2684
Who:
Core 1
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
1020
Who:
Turret
Do you feel more human?
Listens:
658
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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