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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Oh no...
Listens:
393
Who:
Wheatley
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
940
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't. Do it.
Listens:
838
Who:
GLaDOS
Gah!
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
384
Who:
Defective Turret
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing gives me no new data, it just delays the inevitable.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
1041
Who:
Wheatley
You're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.
Listens:
26530
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
441
Who:
Defective Turret
Pants were invented by sailors in the sixteenth century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god.
Listens:
2191
Who:
Core 3
I'm trouble.
Listens:
365
Who:
Defective Turret
I lied.
Listens:
763
Who:
GLaDOS
The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can start testing. Just like old times.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Button.
Listens:
1273
Who:
Wheatley
I agree, Blue. That was entertaining.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
523
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
421
Who:
Wheatley
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, let me explain again. Pop a portal. Behind me. Alright? And come on through.
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
Oh I know! I know I know I know I know I know - let's go to space!
Listens:
1312
Who:
Core 1
Still a work in progress, don't judge me yet. Eventually I'd like to get them to sort of shoot fire at you, moments before crushing you. That's what I'm aiming for. But you know, small steps.
Listens:
1439
Who:
Wheatley
Pop a portal. Behind me, on the wall. Come on through.
Listens:
274
Who:
Wheatley
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
1075
Who:
Defective Turret
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
5315
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
986
Who:
Wheatley
I love space.
Listens:
1011
Who:
Core 1
The way you two just gave up on that test together shows you are really working as a team.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing? Put me back this instant.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Sentry mode activated
Listens:
1618
Who:
Turret
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you waving.
Listens:
989
Who:
GLaDOS
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
416
Who:
Wheatley
Stalemate Resolved.
Listens:
1810
Who:
Announcer
Oh I'll tell you what's also down there. Your parents and... There's also an escape elevator!. Down there. Funny. I should have mentioned it before. But so it's down there. So pop down. Jump down. You've got your folks down there and an escape elevator
Listens:
1071
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, hold on, hold on... Almost there...
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
822
Who:
Defective Turret
You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life.
Listens:
85663
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on, just walk up to the window and take a look out.
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Go on!
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
I'm in space.
Listens:
1861
Who:
Core 1
Lady.
Listens:
620
Who:
Core 1
If your confidence is still not high enough remember no one was created perfect.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
Hibernating
Listens:
871
Who:
Turret
Yeah.
Listens:
438
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
Listens:
687
Who:
GLaDOS
No variances detected.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! What can we do with me then. I know! Plug me into the port, please.
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
451
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
494
Who:
Defective Turret
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
569
Who:
GLaDOS
Ooh. It's dark down here isn't it?
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control? You know, because, looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
1366
Who:
Core 2
Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
882
Who:
Wheatley
We will attempt to comply with these now non-existent agencies by playing some more smooth jazz.
Listens:
3253
Who:
Announcer
[gentle laughter] It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
7262
Who:
GLaDOS
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Listens:
6252
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
862
Who:
Core 1
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
607
Who:
Wheatley
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
920
Who:
Wheatley
5000 point penalty! Are you happy now?
Listens:
1680
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes it is! We can use it to get out of here!
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Welcome to Aperture. You're here because we want the best, and you're it. Nope. Couldn't keep a straight face.
Listens:
3226
Who:
Cave Johnson
ow.
Listens:
602
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. Now please return to your bed.
Listens:
1595
Who:
Announcer
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
654
Who:
Wheatley
Quick word about the future plans that I've got in store.
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe you ARE getting human emotions.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Howdy, stranger! We're back!
Listens:
860
Who:
Defective Turret
Just turn around.
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
So. How are you holding up?
Listens:
2390
Who:
GLaDOS
Can I help you?
Listens:
888
Who:
Turret
BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD
Listens:
104060
Who:
Wheatley
He's found the cooperative testing initiative. It's... em, just something I came up with to phase out human test subjects.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
393
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, stop muckin' around! Plug me in!
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
Well. This is the part where he kills us.
Listens:
1598
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
417
Who:
Wheatley
Bam! Bam bam bam! Take that, space.
Listens:
4105
Who:
Core 1
I can't see it though... Maybe it fell off. Do you want to go and have a quick look?
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on. You were raised better than that.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
For safety.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to space.
Listens:
980
Who:
Core 1
Sollllve it...
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, safe travels, there.
Listens:
379
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello?
Listens:
1297
Who:
Turret
Okay. Plan B. We need humans.
Listens:
673
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Get in.
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
AHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
1608
Who:
Turret
Alright, so, silent contemplation it is. Mysterious button... Sorry. Sorry. Silence. Do not speak. In the silence. Let the silence descend. Here it comes. One hundred percent silence. From now. By the way, if you come up with any ideas, do flag them up. Don't feel you have to stay quiet because I've said absolute silence. So if you come up with an idea, mention it. Otherwise, absolute silence starting... Now.
Listens:
1767
Who:
Wheatley
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.
Listens:
43616
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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