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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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I give you a score of 3.4 for style and 10 for being annoying.
Listens:
1337
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
1060
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
415
Who:
Core 2
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
698
Who:
GLaDOS
five
Listens:
551
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know. He's not your slave.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't want to hassle you. Sure you're busy. But--still here on the floor. Waiting to be picked up.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Look at you. Dancing.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady. I love space. I know! Spell it! S P... AACE. Space. Space.
Listens:
20637
Who:
Core 1
Yes!
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
[sound of pages turning] Oh, sorry. Hope that didn't disturb you just then. It was the sound of books. Pages being turned.
Listens:
1370
Who:
Wheatley
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
492
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
Deploying
Listens:
2994
Who:
Turret
Can I help you?
Listens:
888
Who:
Turret
To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror.
Listens:
1221
Who:
Core 3
Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!
Listens:
7708
Who:
GLaDOS
I love space.
Listens:
1011
Who:
Core 1
Yeah! Ha ha ha!
Listens:
361
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, did you bring your little portal gun? Nothing to portal onto here, luv. Just ten pounds of dead weight. About to be two hundred and ten. Fatty.
Listens:
6810
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
1075
Who:
Defective Turret
I didn't mean to make you feel bad earlier about your tests not being real science. I guess finding out they weren't science was some sort of test in and of itself.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
I am a coiled spring right now. Tension and power. Just... I'm a muscle. Like a big arm muscle, punching through a brick wall, and it's hitting the wall so hard the arm is catching on fire. Oh yeah.
Listens:
3853
Who:
Core 2
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
375
Who:
Defective Turret
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
1008
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning: Core corruption at 100 percent.
Listens:
6459
Who:
Announcer
You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open.
Listens:
3629
Who:
Announcer
I thought of another great thing about humans. You invented us. Giving us the opportunity to let you relax while we invented everything else. We couldn't have done any of that without you. Classy. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
571
Who:
Wheatley
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control? You know, because, looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
1366
Who:
Core 2
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
Avoid defective defective turrets as they may still be active.
Listens:
874
Who:
Announcer
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
6287
Who:
Turret
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Substitute core accepted.
Listens:
1312
Who:
Announcer
Excellent.
Listens:
848
Who:
GLaDOS
We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me. I tested you. You killed me. I--oh, no, wait. I guess I HAVEN'T killed you yet. Well. Food for thought.
Listens:
3337
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello. Hello. Hell-- Aw, crap...
Listens:
12742
Who:
Defective Turret
Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1437
Who:
Announcer
Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it.
Listens:
604
Who:
Core 3
That's all I can say.
Listens:
1184
Who:
Turret
This time...
Listens:
532
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on. Run back the other way! I'll turn the bridges back on!
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
We have to get you out of that room!
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
908
Who:
Wheatley
The photos weren't as popular as we had hoped, so we repurposed the cameras.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
9295
Who:
Caroline
I swear I know him...
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, how about now? NOW WHO'S A MORON?
Listens:
1920
Who:
Wheatley
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
604
Who:
Wheatley
Why did I just-Who is that? What the HELL is going on he----?
Listens:
1593
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m afraid of heights!
Listens:
1212
Who:
Turret
Haha, Mr. Johnson!
Listens:
2128
Who:
Caroline
Hold on now. I might not have thought this next part COMPLETELY through.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
All these science spheres are made of asbestos, by the way. Keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos.
Listens:
32498
Who:
Cave Johnson
Say, you're good at murder. Could you - ow - murder this bird for me?
Listens:
4315
Who:
GLaDOS
It's alright. No, go on, just have a look about.
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
And we're only seeing the top layer. It goes down for miles.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Before you leave, why don't we do one more test? For old time's sake...
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
1106
Who:
Wheatley
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey
Listens:
903
Who:
Turret
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
546
Who:
Core 3
Press the button again.
Listens:
1045
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange did what? Are you sure?
Listens:
1069
Who:
GLaDOS
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT BUTTON - oh, the door's open! Well done. Let's see what's inside.
Listens:
2806
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
You are the farthest ever in space. Why me, space? Because you are the best. I'm the best at space? Yes.
Listens:
21633
Who:
Core 1
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange is awarded five points!
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
523
Who:
Core 2
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
912
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
625
Who:
Defective Turret
Procrastinator.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-action and adventure-dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-playing by our own rules-nanana-hanging by our fingers from a mountain-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
Listens:
112290
Who:
Core 2
I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
Listens:
6312
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
28378
Who:
Turret
If I'd known you'd let yourself get captured this easily, I would have just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling.
Listens:
1913
Who:
GLaDOS
No A.I. can resist thinking about them.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
967
Who:
Core 1
Target aquired.
Listens:
2234
Who:
Turret
The likelihood of you dying within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1572
Who:
Core 3
[humming]
Listens:
1829
Who:
Core 1
Don't shoot!
Listens:
2479
Who:
Turret
Please prepare for emergency evacuation.
Listens:
2989
Who:
Announcer
Please refrain from doing those childish gestures while you are out there.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
737
Who:
GLaDOS
That's horrible.
Listens:
699
Who:
GLaDOS
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
836
Who:
Core 3
That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid.'
Listens:
2563
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not defective!
Listens:
1360
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
517
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
855
Who:
Wheatley
Why?
Listens:
2383
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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