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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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But don't worry, you are in the lead.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, your plan is working perfectly.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, you didn't have time to stop, I understand, but that WAS actually important.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient in toothpaste continued to be used up until the 18th century.
Listens:
900
Who:
Core 3
For the sake of this test, I will pretend to be your partner.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
662
Who:
Core 3
Well, how about now? NOW WHO'S A MORON?
Listens:
2036
Who:
Wheatley
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
508
Who:
Defective Turret
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Don't think I'm not onto you too, lady. You know what you are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here! What have you sacrificed? NOTHING. Zero. All you've done is BOSS ME AROUND. Well, NOW who's the boss? Who's the boss? It's me!
Listens:
2597
Who:
Wheatley
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
3755
Who:
Wheatley
No no no, not that way!
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Come on! Over here! This way!
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Just hang in there for five more - What? Jerry, you can't fire me for that! Yes, JERRY -- OR, maybe your prejudiced worksite should have accommodated a nanobot of my size. Thanks for the hate crime, Jer!
Listens:
1361
Who:
Wheatley
I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
Listens:
1257
Who:
GLaDOS
That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think too hard, I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little idiot is going- [bzzpt]
Listens:
3682
Who:
GLaDOS
Participates unconstructively. Obviously a time-waster.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
1057
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
801
Who:
Wheatley
Warning! Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.
Listens:
5318
Who:
Announcer
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
981
Who:
Defective Turret
Procrastinator.
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Wow.
Listens:
760
Who:
GLaDOS
Resting
Listens:
687
Who:
Turret
Ahungh.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space.
Listens:
8993
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not defective!
Listens:
1417
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
455
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before, though. Sort of cheating.
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
Think about this.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
The other? Well...
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-DUN! DUN DUN! Dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-DUN! DUN DUN! nananaDUNDUNDUN dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
Listens:
4293
Who:
Core 2
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
689
Who:
Wheatley
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
1107
Who:
Wheatley
Progress report: Haven't really made any in-roads!
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
How was that?
Listens:
379
Who:
Defective Turret
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
514
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
558
Who:
Wheatley
Excuse me
Listens:
2080
Who:
Turret
Come on! We have to go!
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
In order to escape, we're going to have to go through HER chamber.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
548
Who:
Core 2
Malfunctioning
Listens:
1281
Who:
Turret
If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim.
Listens:
1501
Who:
Announcer
Excellent work.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Crushing's too good for him. First he'll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two: Cryogenic refrigeration wing. Then TEN years in the chamber I built where all the robots scream at you. THEN I'll kill him.
Listens:
4324
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
10550
Who:
Turret
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
517
Who:
Defective Turret
Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
Listens:
18754
Who:
Core 1
Ah! How long's the door been open?
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
I blame myself.
Listens:
1203
Who:
Turret
Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava.
Listens:
6581
Who:
Core 3
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
You might want to notice the moat area... rather large. Not to mention deadly. [laughs]
Listens:
412
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises--[train horn]--
Listens:
35816
Who:
GLaDOS
Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve.
Listens:
2565
Who:
Core 3
Oh! Oh! Did it kill you? Oh, that would be amazing if it killed you.
Listens:
724
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
659
Who:
Defective Turret
What are you...
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
880
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha, good one.
Listens:
2325
Who:
GLaDOS
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
The square root of rope is string.
Listens:
1627
Who:
Core 3
Okay!
Listens:
427
Who:
Defective Turret
Did you put a virus in them? It's not going to work either. I've got a firewall, mate. Literally, actually, now that I look around. There appears to be literally a wall of fire around this place. Alarming. To say the least.
Listens:
24404
Who:
Wheatley
If I'd known you'd let yourself get captured this easily, I would have just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling.
Listens:
1968
Who:
GLaDOS
Being Caroline taught me another valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
911
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! I'm delivering the first core up near the catwalk!
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Hello! This is the part where I kill you.
Listens:
109558
Who:
Wheatley
Powerup complete.
Listens:
3751
Who:
Announcer
Hey, buddy!
Listens:
723
Who:
Wheatley
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Don't press it! COME BACK!
Listens:
965
Who:
Wheatley
Hello? Can y--no?
Listens:
1392
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah yeah yeah okay okay.
Listens:
4004
Who:
Core 1
Puppet master! You're a puppet in a play, and I hold all the strings! And cards, still. Cards in one hand, strings in the other. And I'm making you dance like a puppet. Playing cards.
Listens:
2629
Who:
Wheatley
Touche, young lady, touche.
Listens:
1268
Who:
Defective Turret
In case you are worried about the humans, don't be. They aren't all monsters.
Listens:
1784
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Squeaky-voice! How'd I do?
Listens:
940
Who:
Defective Turret
Here we go! Now do it again!
Listens:
2004
Who:
Wheatley
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
1280
Who:
Announcer
I was confident you could finish.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
501
Who:
Defective Turret
Come on, let's go!
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
Listens:
731
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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