Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
1150
Who:
Cave Johnson
Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
Listens:
726
Who:
GLaDOS
Who's there?
Listens:
2083
Who:
Turret
I love space.
Listens:
1047
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations on completing the test. You two really are the best cooperative testing team I could ever ask for.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Manipulative.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget!
Listens:
1019
Who:
Turret
Space going to space can't wait.
Listens:
3137
Who:
Core 1
You're better than that.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
At the time of this recording, Federal disclosure policies require us to inform you that this next test is probably lethal and to redirect you to a safer test environment.
Listens:
1572
Who:
Announcer
Plug me in, we're running out of time.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Say goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
5695
Who:
Cave Johnson
The Space Sphere will never go to space.
Listens:
18147
Who:
Core 3
Fact not found.
Listens:
761
Who:
Core 3
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey
Listens:
970
Who:
Turret
Searching
Listens:
915
Who:
Turret
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
542
Who:
Core 2
Do hear that? That's the sound of the neurotoxin emitters emitting neurotoxin.
Listens:
1550
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
1085
Who:
Core 1
Heh heh heh. Alright? I don't know whether you're picking up on what I'm saying there, but...
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
There should be one in the corner.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
1172
Who:
Wheatley
If you are wondering what that smell is, that is the smell of human fear.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm done.
Listens:
1339
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, look. There's a deer! You probably can't see it. Get closer.
Listens:
1373
Who:
GLaDOS
You both made it. It seems no matter what I try to do to pull you apart or destroy you, you just keep going. Keep testing.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's try this again. Try to make your way across the machinery.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
520
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. You survived. That's interesting. I guess I should have factored in your weight.
Listens:
721
Who:
GLaDOS
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Did anything happen while I was out?
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
I'm trouble.
Listens:
383
Who:
Defective Turret
Stop it!
Listens:
5597
Who:
GLaDOS
Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still there? Can you pick me up, do you think? If you are there?
Listens:
2638
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
540
Who:
Defective Turret
Aristotle versus Mashy-spike-plate!
Listens:
28708
Who:
Wheatley
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
1128
Who:
GLaDOS
And we would have talked our way out of it. Oh! Except you forgot to tell me you'd murdered her. And that she needed you to live, so the only available vent for her rage would be good old crushable Wheatley. Yeah. Little details I remember. Easy little tidbits you could have used to save me from getting crushed if you'd cared, which you didn't, obviously. And still don't.
Listens:
3394
Who:
Wheatley
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Sorry. Could have... sworn you said something.
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]
Listens:
12021
Who:
Announcer
Defective Turret testing active.
Listens:
982
Who:
Announcer
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
841
Who:
Core 3
Hello!
Listens:
1010
Who:
Wheatley
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
776
Who:
Core 3
Yeah!
Listens:
811
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
See nothing bad happened.
Listens:
638
Who:
GLaDOS
Nap time
Listens:
3437
Who:
Turret
Blue, you go first.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down.
Listens:
919
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
2296
Who:
Turret
Always sad.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
Space...
Listens:
1302
Who:
Core 1
This final course is training to reach the human vault. So this actually has a purpose. Those other courses were fun, but let's be honest, I need human test subjects for it to be science.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin. Something I failed to notice before, an intangible quality that makes their test results... significant.
Listens:
2013
Who:
GLaDOS
Underestimates scope of work. They all do.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang! All right, if anyone asks, I killed you.
Listens:
1281
Who:
Defective Turret
This isn't that hard.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
600
Who:
Wheatley
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
626
Who:
GLaDOS
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT BUTTON - oh, the door's open! Well done. Let's see what's inside.
Listens:
2859
Who:
Wheatley
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
1423
Who:
Defective Turret
Quick, this way!
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
1066
Who:
GLaDOS
New template accepted.
Listens:
1431
Who:
Announcer
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
471
Who:
Defective Turret
She did all the work.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space.
Listens:
2758
Who:
Core 1
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
What about that camera?
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
476
Who:
Wheatley
You know what, this plan is so good, I'm going to give you a sporting chance and turn off the neurotoxin. I'm joking. Of course. Goodbye.
Listens:
1569
Who:
Wheatley
Standing down.
Listens:
419
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
538
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't be a stranger!
Listens:
410
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't worry I'm absolutely guaranteeing you 100 percent that it's this way... Oh it's not this way.
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
4277
Who:
Wheatley
I'm pretty sure we're going the right way. Just to reassure you...
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Don't press that button. You don't know what you're doing.
Listens:
1791
Who:
GLaDOS
So. How are you holding up?
Listens:
2504
Who:
GLaDOS
It won't.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
1117
Who:
Defective Turret
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
612
Who:
Wheatley
Say one useful thing. One. I dare you. I will give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely applicable to anything at all.
Listens:
1417
Who:
Core 2
The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
1357
Who:
GLaDOS
That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid.'
Listens:
2676
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!