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Portal 2
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Hello.
Listens:
949
Who:
Wheatley
GO.
Listens:
1096
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me.
Listens:
653696
Who:
Cave Johnson
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
974
Who:
Wheatley
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
35124
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
544
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
523
Who:
Defective Turret
Rgggh!
Listens:
587
Who:
Defective Turret
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
3763
Who:
Wheatley
This next test involves emancipation grills. Remember? I told you about them in the last test area, that did not have one.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
923
Who:
GLaDOS
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
726
Who:
Wheatley
[clap clap]
Listens:
21911
Who:
GLaDOS
This looks dangerous. I'll hold the light steady.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Okay!
Listens:
427
Who:
Defective Turret
You look great, by the way. Very healthy.
Listens:
1603
Who:
GLaDOS
The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three. Two. One.
Listens:
2046
Who:
Announcer
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
565
Who:
Wheatley
Just stop it already.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
The good news is... well, none so far, to be honest. I'll get back to you on that.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. You’re both doing very well.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
It'll be fine. Get in.
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
822
Who:
Core 3
In case you were wondering, you do not need to be crushed to solve this test.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
906
Who:
GLaDOS
Are we in space?
Listens:
1045
Who:
Core 1
Please do not engage with turrets heading towards redemption.
Listens:
973
Who:
Announcer
Don't think I'm not onto you too, lady. You know what you are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here! What have you sacrificed? NOTHING. Zero. All you've done is BOSS ME AROUND. Well, NOW who's the boss? Who's the boss? It's me!
Listens:
2615
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing? Put me back this instant.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it.
Listens:
627
Who:
Core 3
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
Who said that?
Listens:
579
Who:
Defective Turret
For safety.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Atmosphere. Black holes. Astronauts. Nebulas. Jupiter. The Big Dipper.
Listens:
2773
Who:
Core 1
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Listens:
5506
Who:
Core 1
The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
Listens:
1217
Who:
Core 3
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
1031
Who:
Core 1
I'm fired, aren't I?
Listens:
2214
Who:
Defective Turret
Nothing. Nothing.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
That's right. Drink it in. You could eat off those wall panels.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
For instance, Orange, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Histrionic.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, can you write down all the ways you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior?
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that you were the only subjects to pass the calibration tests?
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, that should do it.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
In summary: walk all the way to certain doom, or give up now. Honorably. Like a samurai! Save yourself a trip. It's win-win for you.
Listens:
410
Who:
Wheatley
Aw, come on!
Listens:
703
Who:
Defective Turret
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
515
Who:
Core 2
Impossible as it is to imagine, there actually is a solution. Devilishly hidden.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, orange isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Blue is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
706
Who:
Wheatley
All right. We're working on a little teleportation experiment. Now, this doesn't work with all skin types, so try to remember which skin is yours, and if it doesn't teleport along with you, we'll do what we can to sew you right back into it.
Listens:
1686
Who:
Cave Johnson
Alright, get moving.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?
Listens:
717
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
727
Who:
Defective Turret
Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin. Something I failed to notice before, an intangible quality that makes their test results... significant.
Listens:
2010
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
479
Who:
Wheatley
Look, even if you think we're still enemies, we're enemies with a common interest: Revenge.
Listens:
913
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't listen to her, do it.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
957
Who:
GLaDOS
Preparing to dispense product
Listens:
2648
Who:
Turret
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
1295
Who:
Announcer
Wheeeeeeee!
Listens:
3521
Who:
Turret
Oh... can someone reassemble Blue?
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
What do you have there?
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Oops. You trapped yourself. I guess that's it then. Thanks for testing. You may as well lie down and get acclimated to the being dead position.
Listens:
1535
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson. I thought you were my greatest enemy. When all along you were my best friend.
Listens:
1859
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, look, the point is we're gonna break out of here, alright? But we can't do it yet. Look for me fifteen chambers ahead.
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Whoa! Hey! Don't fall!
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
592
Who:
Core 2
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
531
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhhh... Blam! Blam blam blam! I'm not defective!
Listens:
3939
Who:
Defective Turret
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
6435
Who:
Turret
Owww!
Listens:
964
Who:
Turret
But you were different weren't you? Such a good jumper. Problem solver. Clever. But ambitious. That's your Achilles Heel. Mine's-oh! Oh! Almost told you. Clever, clever girl. Again: brain damaged like a fox, you.
Listens:
2293
Who:
Wheatley
So. If you've got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them.
Listens:
371
Who:
Wheatley
We made it we made it we made it. Space!
Listens:
3388
Who:
Core 1
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
2307
Who:
Core 1
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
1038
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
444
Who:
Core 2
It won't.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
If you've cut yourself at all in the course of these tests, you might have noticed that your blood is pure gasoline. That's normal. We've been shooting you with an invisible laser that's supposed to turn blood into gasoline, so all that means is, it's working.
Listens:
3220
Who:
Cave Johnson
Facial grimacing.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Button. Button.
Listens:
1400
Who:
Wheatley
You will need him for the final track.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Here we go...
Listens:
1256
Who:
Wheatley
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
672
Who:
Defective Turret
Please ping a white portalable surface.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
460
Who:
Wheatley
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
806
Who:
Core 3
Hi there!
Listens:
507
Who:
Defective Turret
Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space.
Listens:
2744
Who:
Core 1
I can’t keep quiet about this. I think Orange is actively trying to sabotage your success. Let’s keep this between us.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
You've probably figured it out by now, but I don't need you anymore.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
No, you should plug that little idiot into the mainframe!
Listens:
713
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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