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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
402
Who:
Wheatley
Butterfingers.
Listens:
3661
Who:
Wheatley
Look at you. Sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.
Listens:
10261
Who:
GLaDOS
Crap!
Listens:
1104
Who:
Defective Turret
That’s right. You're not humans.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
527
Who:
Core 3
Didn't pick up on my sarcasm...
Listens:
4347
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, we're closed
Listens:
1922
Who:
Turret
This place is going to blow up if I don't get back in my body!
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange is penalized
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Really? Okay.
Listens:
934
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey lady. Lady. I'm the best. I'm the best at space.
Listens:
2970
Who:
Core 1
So go ahead and jump. What's the worst that could happen? Oh. Oh wait, I just now thought of the worst thing. Oh! I just thought of something even worse. Alright. New, better plan: no imagining of any potential outcomes whatsoever. Just jump, into the abyss, there, and let's see what happens.
Listens:
556
Who:
Wheatley
Stubborn.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
Might want to just pick me up.
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent.
Listens:
793
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.
Listens:
1202
Who:
GLaDOS
Think about this.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
I, uh... don't have any bullets. Are you gonna give me any bullets? Are the bullets up there?
Listens:
4135
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue is penalized
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
862
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
235
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still there? Can you pick me up, do you think? If you are there?
Listens:
2391
Who:
Wheatley
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
743
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway. Just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli. Do not know what all the fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one?
Listens:
735
Who:
Wheatley
You KNOW her?
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, it's not nice to make fun of Orange like that.
Listens:
236
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no, not that way!
Listens:
240
Who:
Wheatley
I just thought you find that interesting, most winners do.
Listens:
237
Who:
GLaDOS
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
493
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
Rgggh!
Listens:
452
Who:
Defective Turret
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
604
Who:
Core 3
I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space.
Listens:
7827
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on, just turn right around. So you're not looking at me.
Listens:
236
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
638
Who:
GLaDOS
Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.
Listens:
1160
Who:
Core 3
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
880
Who:
Announcer
Hey hey! You made it!
Listens:
240
Who:
Wheatley
You're better than that.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day.
Listens:
2972
Who:
Cave Johnson
GAAAA!
Listens:
1244
Who:
Wheatley
Goodnight
Listens:
5463
Who:
Turret
Did you know, the reassembly machine has other things it could be reassembling?
Listens:
251
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't listen to her, do it.
Listens:
242
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, I can see it! The feeder tube's just in the next room!
Listens:
235
Who:
Wheatley
[Whispered] For the record: You ARE adopted, and that's TERRIBLE.
Listens:
3507
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
497
Who:
GLaDOS
She was provoking you.
Listens:
761
Who:
Turret
Agghh!
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Chews with mouth open.
Listens:
248
Who:
GLaDOS
You did WHAT?
Listens:
2893
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhhohohhhh. Wow. Well done, seriously, both of you. Why don't you two go on ahead? I'll catch up with you.
Listens:
2124
Who:
Wheatley
Killing you? Is hard.
Listens:
1328
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
Listens:
4673
Who:
Announcer
I know things look bleak, but that crazy man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons! We are going to march right back upstairs and MAKE him put me back in my body!
Listens:
4115
Who:
GLaDOS
[yelling]
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
933
Who:
Core 1
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
1723
Who:
Wheatley
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
3404
Who:
Turret
Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
752
Who:
Wheatley
And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?
Listens:
1442
Who:
Wheatley
You both made it. It seems no matter what I try to do to pull you apart or destroy you, you just keep going. Keep testing.
Listens:
236
Who:
GLaDOS
Back again!
Listens:
880
Who:
Defective Turret
What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
Listens:
6695
Who:
GLaDOS
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
900
Who:
Wheatley
Quick question: Have you been working out? Because there's no evidence of it. I'm not a plastic cup. We will be landing with some force. So a bit of grip. Just using grip. Classic grip.
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
We are?
Listens:
604
Who:
Core 1
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
If Orange had said those things about me, Orange would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
235
Who:
GLaDOS
Fears conflict.
Listens:
262
Who:
GLaDOS
Incoherent.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
Is anyone there?
Listens:
7152
Who:
Turret
Oh, that felt really good.
Listens:
1291
Who:
Wheatley
Space!
Listens:
1233
Who:
Core 1
Still a work in progress, don't judge me yet. Eventually I'd like to get them to sort of shoot fire at you, moments before crushing you. That's what I'm aiming for. But you know, small steps.
Listens:
1384
Who:
Wheatley
Ow!
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Ow!
Listens:
903
Who:
Turret
You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
Listens:
498
Who:
Core 2
Yes, do do it!
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, quick recap: We are escaping! That's what's happening now: we're escaping. So you're doing great. Just keep running!
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
Goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
18524
Who:
GLaDOS
Wheeeeeeee!
Listens:
3110
Who:
Turret
Be honest. You can't even tell, can you? Seamless.
Listens:
245
Who:
Wheatley
You know how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a belated birthday present for you. Well... more of a belated birthday medical procedure. Well. Technically, it's a medical EXPERIMENT. What's important is, it's a present.
Listens:
2812
Who:
GLaDOS
How you doing down there? You still holding on?
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
509
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh boy.
Listens:
978
Who:
Core 1
Alright, so, silent contemplation it is. Mysterious button... Sorry. Sorry. Silence. Do not speak. In the silence. Let the silence descend. Here it comes. One hundred percent silence. From now. By the way, if you come up with any ideas, do flag them up. Don't feel you have to stay quiet because I've said absolute silence. So if you come up with an idea, mention it. Otherwise, absolute silence starting... Now.
Listens:
1664
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
I'm fine!
Listens:
1122
Who:
Turret
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
4796
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
1402
Who:
Announcer
You know who ended up, do you know who ended up taking her down in the end? You're not going to believe this. A human.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, get moving.
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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