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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
494
Who:
Wheatley
Agh! Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!
Listens:
37111
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves emancipation grills. Remember? I told you about them in the last test area, that did not have one.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Still not working.
Listens:
706
Who:
Defective Turret
See you at the bottom. Good luck!
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Good news. I figured out what to do with all the money I save recycling your one roomful of air. When you die, I'm going to laminate your skeleton and pose you in the lobby. That way future generations can learn from you how not to have your unfortunate bone structure.
Listens:
1371
Who:
GLaDOS
You had to play bloody cat and mouse, didn't you? While people were trying to work. Yes, well, now we're all going to pay the price. BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BLOODY DIE.
Listens:
2340
Who:
Wheatley
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Blue do what Orange just did.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh my.
Listens:
657
Who:
Turret
Malfunctioning
Listens:
1252
Who:
Turret
Whoa! Hey! Don't fall!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
837
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Here we go...
Listens:
1206
Who:
Wheatley
Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature.
Listens:
19536
Who:
Announcer
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
726
Who:
GLaDOS
You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
Listens:
540
Who:
Core 2
I’m scared!
Listens:
739
Who:
Turret
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. Yeah? And I'll show you something. You'll be impressed by this.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Nobody is going to space, mate!
Listens:
21366
Who:
Wheatley
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, do you feel betrayed by orange for telling me those horrible things about you?
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
We're so close, you can't fail now!
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep moving, keep moving...
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
607
Who:
Defective Turret
Come on through to the other side.
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
Space...
Listens:
1267
Who:
Core 1
Oh, brilliant, yeah. Take one last look at your precious human moon. Because it cannot help you now!
Listens:
2314
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
1118
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! I'm delivering the first core up near the catwalk!
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
822
Who:
Defective Turret
Space.
Listens:
101122
Who:
Core 1
Excellent! You're a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them?
Listens:
3314
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
764
Who:
Core 3
Good Job.
Listens:
662
Who:
GLaDOS
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
I guess quitting that course together is a sign of teamwork.
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
Busybody.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2553
Who:
GLaDOS
That's right. Drink it in. You could eat off those wall panels.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Still here on the floor. Waiting to be picked up. Um.
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Please do not engage with turrets heading towards redemption.
Listens:
923
Who:
Announcer
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
Did anything happen while I was out?
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
840
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look.
Listens:
1508
Who:
Core 1
clickclickclick
Listens:
977
Who:
Defective Turret
You have a gift for these tests. That’s not just flattery. You are great at science.
Listens:
845
Who:
GLaDOS
You're in this together, aren't you? You've been playing me the whole time! Both of you! First you make me think you're brain damaged! Then you convince me you're sworn enemies with your best friend over here!
Listens:
845
Who:
Wheatley
Charmless.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Didn't go for that, I see. Knew I was lying. Point to you. But you still are inhaling neurotoxin. So, point deducted.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
But the real point is - oh, oh! You know what I've just remembered? Football! Kicking a ball around for fun. Cruel, obviously. Humans love it. Metaphor. Should have seen this coming.
Listens:
2122
Who:
Wheatley
Sir, the test.
Listens:
1369
Who:
Caroline
Blue is penalized
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing?
Listens:
1038
Who:
Turret
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
So much space. Need to see it all.
Listens:
1895
Who:
Core 1
But I'm huge! [laugh turning to maniacal laugh]
Listens:
38407
Who:
Wheatley
Nooooooooo...
Listens:
1560
Who:
Defective Turret
Just---if you just--okay, just stand by the podium and just look up.
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
You know what I have too many of around here? Monitors. I was just thinking earlier today I wish I had fewer monitors that were working. So you're actually helping me by smashing them.
Listens:
1839
Who:
Wheatley
Just go.
Listens:
3547
Who:
GLaDOS
Initiating surprise in three... two... one.
Listens:
3520
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
1020
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
715
Who:
Core 3
With humans, I would have called that a successful test.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, Blue and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
SURPRISE! We're doing it NOW!
Listens:
5699
Who:
Wheatley
BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
Listens:
660
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
588
Who:
Wheatley
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
509
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
4887
Who:
Turret
Wait. Careful. Let me light this jump for you
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
457
Who:
Wheatley
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you stopping that.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
713
Who:
Core 2
Oh, hang on. What if we gave it something ELSE to scan?
Listens:
277
Who:
Wheatley
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
590
Who:
Wheatley
And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?
Listens:
1601
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, off you go!
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
This is the last test for the standard course. It's just something I whipped up for you. I thought you might enjoy a challenge for once.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
450
Who:
Wheatley
Let go of me!
Listens:
447
Who:
Wheatley
On three. Ready? One... Two...
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come on!
Listens:
553
Who:
Defective Turret
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
453
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome to the enrichment center. [cough]
Listens:
6167
Who:
Cave Johnson
Try to make your way back out here!
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Aw... hates Mondays.
Listens:
1577
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
673
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, let's get started. This first test involves something the lab boys call 'repulsion gel.'
Listens:
1165
Who:
Cave Johnson
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
794
Who:
Core 3
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
607
Who:
Wheatley
That’s right. You're not humans.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
407
Who:
Wheatley
I went and spoke with the door mainframe. Let's just say he won't be... well, living anymore. Anyway, back to testing.
Listens:
1446
Who:
GLaDOS
That did it! Neurotoxin at zero percent! Yes!
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
Listens:
590
Who:
GLaDOS
AHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
1608
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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