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Portal 2
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Live turret line is active. Enter room with extreme caution.
Listens:
938
Who:
Announcer
Reactor explosion in four minutes.
Listens:
4777
Who:
Announcer
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
1018
Who:
Core 2
What are you doing? Put me back this instant.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it.
Listens:
1476
Who:
Announcer
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Listens:
5509
Who:
Core 1
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
1139
Who:
Wheatley
And another thing! You never caught me. I told you I could die falling off that rail. And you didn't catch me. You didn't even try. Oh, it's all becoming clear to me now. Find some dupe to break you out of cryosleep. Give him a sob story about escaping to the surface. Squeeze him for information on where to find a portal gun.
Listens:
4320
Who:
Wheatley
I shouldn't spoil this, but... remember how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a present for you. Well, I guess it's more of a medical procedure. Well, technically it's more of a medical experiment. You know how excruciating it is when someone removes all of your bone marrow? Well, what if after I did that, I put something back IN that added four years to your life?
Listens:
3564
Who:
GLaDOS
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
590
Who:
Core 2
You KNOW her?
Listens:
626
Who:
Wheatley
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
530
Who:
Core 2
No A.I. can resist thinking about them.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
1058
Who:
GLaDOS
We are going to shut down her turret production line, turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her.
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, that should do it.
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
535
Who:
Wheatley
Here it is. Why don't you just do it? Trust me, it's an easier way out than whatever asinine plan your friend came up with.
Listens:
4536
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not do it!
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
I'm no psychiatrist, but coming from a bunch of eggheads who wouldn't recognize the thrill of danger if it walked up and snapped their little pink bras, that sounds like 'projection'.
Listens:
2090
Who:
Cave Johnson
Do either of you feel like laughing?
Listens:
1320
Who:
GLaDOS
Please avoid alerting active turrets or being shot by active turrets.
Listens:
975
Who:
Announcer
Polymerase I polypeptide A is a human gene.
Listens:
633
Who:
Core 3
I see you
Listens:
2938
Who:
Turret
Would you mind putting your back towards me? So I can see only your back. And not your face.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Initiating surprise in three... two... one.
Listens:
3611
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you testing me?
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
531
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, it hasn't done it.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
This should take us right to her. I can't believe I'm finally doing this!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
1040
Who:
Core 1
Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?
Listens:
657
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
1080
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you waving.
Listens:
1047
Who:
GLaDOS
Before you leave, why don't we do one more test? For old time's sake...
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
1018
Who:
Core 3
Uh oh. You're stranded. Let's see if the cube will try to help you escape. Actually, so that we're not here all day, I'll just cut to the chase: It won't. Any feelings you think it has for you are simply byproducts of your sad, empty life.
Listens:
1728
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh!
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
You are the farthest ever in space. Why me, space? Because you are the best. I'm the best at space? Yes.
Listens:
22009
Who:
Core 1
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
1031
Who:
Core 1
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
499
Who:
Wheatley
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
591
Who:
Core 2
There is a box part here. Probably got some electronics in there.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
626
Who:
Wheatley
I thought you'd be faster at this, but I can appreciate the desire to stop and smell the testing. That other scent you smell? That's the stench of my utter disappointment in you.
Listens:
1667
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't... see it anywhere. Tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?
Listens:
720
Who:
Defective Turret
'Let there be light.' That's, uh... God. I was quoting God.
Listens:
2561
Who:
Wheatley
SPAAACCCCCE!
Listens:
588483
Who:
Core 1
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
No, listen to me! Sir, I do not want this!
Listens:
18948
Who:
Caroline
Really? Alright.
Listens:
394
Who:
Defective Turret
Most of them are simply good test subjects.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
606
Who:
Wheatley
Nooooo. No, I don't think it is. I think you're wrong.
Listens:
2161
Who:
Wheatley
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
597
Who:
Core 2
So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us.
Listens:
1723
Who:
Cave Johnson
Good work! I'm delivering the first core up near the catwalk!
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
1024
Who:
Core 1
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
483
Who:
Wheatley
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
656
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, Orange and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
There we go. Lift called.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Stop with the waves.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
709
Who:
Core 2
You know, in some human sports, the winner is the one who scores the fewest possible points?
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
466
Who:
Wheatley
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
Listens:
725
Who:
GLaDOS
NO.
Listens:
2106
Who:
GLaDOS
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
497
Who:
Wheatley
Never shares.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Die!
Listens:
1687
Who:
Defective Turret
Right on that stick over there. Just put me right on it.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
480
Who:
Defective Turret
It flew off.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
639
Who:
Wheatley
The one you risked your life to get to. So you could escape certain death. No rush.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Not much of a plan, if I'm honest. But I'm afraid it's all we have at his point. Barring a sudden barrage of speech from your direction. Improbable. At best.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that?
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen.
Listens:
2328
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
7985
Who:
GLaDOS
They're not even your screens to break. It's vandalism. It's pure vandalism. You wouldn't do this if this was your house, would you? If I came around to your house smashin' your telly to bits, you'd be furious. And rightly so. Unbelievable.
Listens:
979
Who:
Wheatley
Here it is - the turret factory entrance! We made it.
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
Now I spy something that starts with an 'a'.
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Stalemate Resolution Associate: Please press the Stalemate Resolution Button.
Listens:
2657
Who:
Announcer
Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.
Listens:
1925
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
596
Who:
GLaDOS
You had to play bloody cat and mouse, didn't you? While people were trying to work. Yes, well, now we're all going to pay the price. BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BLOODY DIE.
Listens:
2475
Who:
Wheatley
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
882
Who:
Wheatley
Hello? Anyone in there?
Listens:
1418
Who:
Wheatley
Did something break back there?
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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