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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
739
Who:
Core 2
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
925
Who:
Core 1
At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
Listens:
5473
Who:
Core 3
Hey.
Listens:
606
Who:
Core 1
You are about to get me killed.
Listens:
1482
Who:
Core 3
What are you...
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1290
Who:
Announcer
It's a paradox! There IS no answer.
Listens:
4321
Who:
GLaDOS
Powerup complete.
Listens:
3161
Who:
Announcer
Manual core replacement required.
Listens:
2045
Who:
Announcer
Space!
Listens:
1569
Who:
Core 1
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
945
Who:
Cave Johnson
Anyway, new turrets. Not defective. Ace of fours. The best hand. Unbeatable, I imagine.
Listens:
1439
Who:
Wheatley
So, once again, just... move along. One small step and everything.
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Please return to the core transfer bay.
Listens:
1186
Who:
Announcer
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
While I will receive all the glory for the rescue don't think you two aren't going to get something. The bond you form during these tests will last a lifetime.
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, hold on now WHOA WHOA WHOA!
Listens:
1503
Who:
Defective Turret
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
905
Who:
Wheatley
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
877
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck.
Listens:
238
Who:
GLaDOS
You're saying to yourself, why should I jump into the pit? I'll tell you why. Guess who's down there? Your parents! You're not adopted after all! It's your natural parents down there in the pit. Should have mentioned it before. But I didn't. So jump on down and reunite with mommy and daddy.
Listens:
2741
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Ha ha ha!
Listens:
335
Who:
Defective Turret
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
771
Who:
Wheatley
Not interested in anything else. Don't TOUCH anything else. Don't even LOOK at anything else, just--well, obviously you've got to look at everything else to find ESCAPE POD, but as soon as you've looked at something and it doesn't say ESCAPE POD, look at something else, look at the next thing. Alright? But don't touch anything else or look at any--well, look at other things, but don't... you understand.
Listens:
1553
Who:
Wheatley
Do you need real encouragement? Let's see if this helps.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
You have a gift for these tests. That’s not just flattery. You are great at science.
Listens:
776
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
470
Who:
Wheatley
Ahh!
Listens:
1283
Who:
Turret
It's my big chance!
Listens:
948
Who:
Defective Turret
Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material.
Listens:
1766
Who:
Core 3
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT BUTTON - oh, the door's open! Well done. Let's see what's inside.
Listens:
2568
Who:
Wheatley
I HAVE to test. All the time. Or I get this... this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something.
Listens:
1095
Who:
Wheatley
That isn't science.
Listens:
2461
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
4835
Who:
GLaDOS
Unconstructive.
Listens:
238
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
614
Who:
Wheatley
And off we go.
Listens:
266
Who:
Wheatley
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing.
Listens:
6369
Who:
Defective Turret
AH! I've just done it again.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Squeaky-voice! Gimme some of your bullets!
Listens:
2269
Who:
Defective Turret
Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis.
Listens:
1213
Who:
Core 3
So he's inexplicably happy all of a sudden, even though he should be going out of his mind with test withdrawal. AND he's got a surprise for us. What did he FIND back there?
Listens:
615
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
870
Who:
GLaDOS
Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
Listens:
1247
Who:
GLaDOS
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
3336
Who:
Wheatley
Could you just jump into that pit? There. That deadly pit.
Listens:
1702
Who:
Wheatley
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
415
Who:
GLaDOS
Please go to space.
Listens:
934
Who:
Core 1
AH!
Listens:
512
Who:
Wheatley
Let go of me!
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
I was getting SO lonely down here. It's good to finally hear someone else's voice. I'm kidding, of course. God, I hate you.
Listens:
18878
Who:
GLaDOS
times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations job well done.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. [laughs]
Listens:
4075
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
97196
Who:
Core 1
Press the button again.
Listens:
984
Who:
GLaDOS
First up, conversion gel. [cough]
Listens:
1580
Who:
Cave Johnson
Orange receives
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
Dull expression.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
For safety.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
I did everything you asked!
Listens:
3049
Who:
Turret
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
932
Who:
Wheatley
Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm. Space!
Listens:
2309
Who:
Core 1
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
667
Who:
Wheatley
What is this, like a hobby for you now? I mean, honestly, it's crazy! You've been running around for hours, I'm surprised you have the energy to smash screens willy nilly. Honestly, I'd have a little lie down if I were you. Have a nap.
Listens:
631
Who:
Wheatley
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
842
Who:
Wheatley
Paradoxes.
Listens:
837
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, your plan is working perfectly.
Listens:
251
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest.
Listens:
1440
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Listens:
5441
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
572
Who:
GLaDOS
Lacks confidence.
Listens:
238
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
578
Who:
Core 1
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
843
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know, the reassembly machine has other things it could be reassembling?
Listens:
251
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
SURPRISE! We're doing it NOW!
Listens:
5178
Who:
Wheatley
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
852
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
830
Who:
Wheatley
This time...
Listens:
468
Who:
Defective Turret
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
5318
Who:
Core 1
The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three. Two. One.
Listens:
1830
Who:
Announcer
The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it.
Listens:
616
Who:
GLaDOS
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
394
Who:
Defective Turret
In case you were wondering, you do not need to be crushed to solve this test.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
GO.
Listens:
946
Who:
GLaDOS
Fire detected in the Stalemate Resolution Annex. Extinguishing.
Listens:
2204
Who:
Announcer
Hello?
Listens:
612
Who:
Wheatley
We made it we made it we made it we made it...
Listens:
237
Who:
Wheatley
I went and spoke with the door mainframe. Let's just say he won't be... well, living anymore. Anyway, back to testing.
Listens:
1250
Who:
GLaDOS
NO.
Listens:
1834
Who:
GLaDOS
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
441
Who:
Defective Turret
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
459
Who:
Wheatley
Okay...
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
I can't see a thing. What just happened? Better open fire! [click click click click] Dang!
Listens:
19420
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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