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No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
Going to space.
Listens:
992
Who:
Core 1
Ohhhhh, yes. Ohhhh. Well done.
Listens:
4418
Who:
Wheatley
Cryptic.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
Any ideas? Any ideas? No? No, me neither.
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.
Listens:
674
Who:
Core 3
Are you scared to save those humans?
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
YES YES! IN YOUR FACE! I GOT YO-ah, nope.
Listens:
4213
Who:
Wheatley
NO.
Listens:
2032
Who:
GLaDOS
It's your old friend, deadly neurotoxin. If I were you, I'd take a deep breath. And hold it.
Listens:
6345
Who:
GLaDOS
That's not funny.
Listens:
1780
Who:
GLaDOS
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! There you are. Great. Let me just get rid of this catwalk.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
The way you two just gave up on that test together shows you are really working as a team.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, can't win 'em all.
Listens:
374
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here.
Listens:
1460
Who:
Core 2
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
But you two have become quite the team. Extremely close.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
586
Who:
Wheatley
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, thanks so much!
Listens:
707
Who:
Defective Turret
If we start making a list of things that aren't here, we could be here all night. You know, pens for instance. Let's stick with things we can see. Not stuff that isn't here.
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve.
Listens:
2502
Who:
Core 3
He's taking us right TO him! This is PERFECT.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep it up and your arm will get stuck like that.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
1597
Who:
Turret
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
919
Who:
GLaDOS
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
449
Who:
Wheatley
Space? SPACE!
Listens:
23233
Who:
Core 1
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
661
Who:
Wheatley
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
782
Who:
Core 3
AHH!
Listens:
1328
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life.
Listens:
85819
Who:
GLaDOS
No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I literally do not have the energy to lie to you.
Listens:
7250
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
1071
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
387
Who:
Defective Turret
Noted.
Listens:
741
Who:
Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
547
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, that's sad. But impressive. Maybe they worked at the phone company.
Listens:
3394
Who:
GLaDOS
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
914
Who:
GLaDOS
Two. One or two more tremors in there. Just for fun.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
See you soon!
Listens:
847
Who:
Turret
Maybe you ARE getting human emotions.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
536
Who:
Defective Turret
Fine, 500 point penalty for Blue.
Listens:
681
Who:
GLaDOS
What -what's wrong with being adopted? Um. Well... lack of parents, for one, and... also... furthermore... nothing. Some of my best... friends are... orphans... But...
Listens:
1892
Who:
Wheatley
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
646
Who:
Wheatley
There we go. Lift called.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
I've got an idea! Do what it says, plug me in!
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! I knew we were going the right way.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
435
Who:
Wheatley
Run, for goodness sake!
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
I know you.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
Corruption at 25%
Listens:
852
Who:
Core 3
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
807
Who:
Defective Turret
I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
538
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature.
Listens:
19711
Who:
Announcer
If you have trouble with simple counting, use the following mnemonic device: one comes before two comes before 60 comes after 12 comes before six trillion comes after 504. This will make your earlier counting difficulties seem like no big deal.
Listens:
3060
Who:
Core 3
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! But I did find something. Reminds me: I've got a big surprise for you two. Seriously. Look forward to it.
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Never shares.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
You are the farthest ever in space. Why me, space? Because you are the best. I'm the best at space? Yes.
Listens:
21679
Who:
Core 1
There it is.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
There should be a portal device on that podium over there.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Press the button again.
Listens:
1051
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
497
Who:
GLaDOS
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
990
Who:
Core 1
Oo. Oo. Oo. Lady. Oo. Lady. Oo. Let's go to space.
Listens:
18448
Who:
Core 1
Enjoy this next test. I'm going to go to the surface. It's a beautiful day out. Yesterday I saw a deer. If you solve this next test, maybe I'll let you ride an elevator all the way up to the break room, and I'll tell you about the time I saw a deer again.
Listens:
3897
Who:
GLaDOS
Enh!
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Vent system compromised: Neurotoxin offline.
Listens:
3950
Who:
Announcer
Can you reach that wall back there?
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
This next test may result in your death. If you want to know what that's like, think back to that time you killed me, and substitute yourself for me.
Listens:
663
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
731
Who:
GLaDOS
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
665
Who:
Core 3
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on through to the other side.
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, nice potato!
Listens:
99474
Who:
Defective Turret
If I stop watching, I'm sure you'll get bored of this.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
What, are you still alive? You are joking. You have got be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE.
Listens:
6212
Who:
Wheatley
Goodbye Caroline!
Listens:
25181
Who:
Caroline
Better yet, don't say anything.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
503
Who:
Core 2
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
953
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, you win.
Listens:
873
Who:
Turret
It's alright. No, go on, just have a look about.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Are we in space yet? What's the hold-up? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE.
Listens:
1542
Who:
Core 1
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
811
Who:
Core 1
Sorry
Listens:
2827
Who:
Turret
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