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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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Hey lady. Lady. I'm the best. I'm the best at space.
Listens:
3031
Who:
Core 1
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
Hello there!
Listens:
1576
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm pretty sure we're going the right way. Just to reassure you...
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
Annnnnnnnd... Nothing.
Listens:
3205
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
1094
Who:
Core 1
But it's not too late to avoid all of that by simply not using the gel. There you go, I said it. I gave away my plan. But I couldn't watch you hurt yourself like this.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
SPACE!
Listens:
20377
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, brilliant. You DID find a portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave.
Listens:
2766
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
6530
Who:
Wheatley
This final course is training to reach the human vault. So this actually has a purpose. Those other courses were fun, but let's be honest, I need human test subjects for it to be science.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Hi.
Listens:
2196
Who:
GLaDOS
Tungsten has the highest melting point of any metal, at 3,410 degrees Celsius.
Listens:
625
Who:
Core 3
Not interested in anything else. Don't TOUCH anything else. Don't even LOOK at anything else, just--well, obviously you've got to look at everything else to find ESCAPE POD, but as soon as you've looked at something and it doesn't say ESCAPE POD, look at something else, look at the next thing. Alright? But don't touch anything else or look at any--well, look at other things, but don't... you understand.
Listens:
1589
Who:
Wheatley
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
524
Who:
Core 3
Warning: Core corruption at 50 percent.
Listens:
7433
Who:
Announcer
Do not press that button!
Listens:
757
Who:
Wheatley
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
I thought of another great thing about humans. You invented us. Giving us the opportunity to let you relax while we invented everything else. We couldn't have done any of that without you. Classy. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
547
Who:
Wheatley
Good work getting this far, future-starter! That said, if you are simple-minded, old, or irradiated in such a way that the future should not start with you, please return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better-qualified for testing.
Listens:
2346
Who:
Announcer
Gah!
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Oh my god. What has he done to this place?
Listens:
1477
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m on fire ow.
Listens:
4839
Who:
Turret
You will need him for the final track.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
467
Who:
Wheatley
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're hearing this, it means you're taking a long time on the catwalks between tests. The lab boys say that might be a fear reaction.
Listens:
1461
Who:
Cave Johnson
It shouldn't be hard to stay alive long enough to find him.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
You have excellent aim!
Listens:
669
Who:
Turret
Miss you!
Listens:
676
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes indeed. Yes indeed.
Listens:
2126
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
All these science spheres are made of asbestos, by the way. Keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos.
Listens:
31285
Who:
Cave Johnson
I think I can break us out of here in the next chamber. Just play along.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
778
Who:
Core 3
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?
Listens:
7575
Who:
Core 2
By completing all test courses, you have achieved Level C security clearance. You may now access all testing courses and three of Aperture Science's 176 restrooms.
Listens:
1202
Who:
Announcer
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
778
Who:
Defective Turret
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
955
Who:
Core 1
It appears you're developing human traits. The worst human traits.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think too hard, I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little idiot is going- [bzzpt]
Listens:
3411
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't think I want to go through that again.
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
19215
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Good news! [electic pop] Nevermind.
Listens:
6395
Who:
Wheatley
Right. Hmm. I'm gonna have to hack the door so we can get at it.
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
You're in this together, aren't you? You've been playing me the whole time! Both of you! First you make me think you're brain damaged! Then you convince me you're sworn enemies with your best friend over here!
Listens:
787
Who:
Wheatley
Stubborn.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Polymerase I polypeptide A is a human gene.
Listens:
585
Who:
Core 3
Come back!
Listens:
425
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
1193
Who:
Defective Turret
Orange, now you're just being cruel. Orange receives 25 science collaboration points.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange is awarded five points!
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, give 'em hell, sweetheart!
Listens:
829
Who:
Defective Turret
That's the spirit!
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
She is a gem.
Listens:
2724
Who:
Cave Johnson
Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home.
Listens:
1249
Who:
Core 1
GAAAA!
Listens:
1343
Who:
Wheatley
Here, come and have a look out the window. It's good.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
Did you guess 'sharks'? Because that's wrong. The correct answer is 'nobody.' Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.
Listens:
3997
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you hear that? She has really kicked this place into high gear now.
Listens:
266
Who:
Wheatley
Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
Listens:
1280
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha, good one.
Listens:
2223
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning! All testing courses are currently available.
Listens:
1936
Who:
Announcer
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
449
Who:
Wheatley
No A.I. can resist thinking about them.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Aw... hates Mondays.
Listens:
1517
Who:
GLaDOS
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
691
Who:
Defective Turret
Her name is Caroline.
Listens:
4115
Who:
Turret
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
I know I'm early, but we have to go right NOW!
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Squeaky-voice! How'd I do?
Listens:
838
Who:
Defective Turret
I, uh... I am a bad man.
Listens:
806
Who:
Defective Turret
I thought you'd be faster at this, but I can appreciate the desire to stop and smell the testing. That other scent you smell? That's the stench of my utter disappointment in you.
Listens:
1516
Who:
GLaDOS
This would go a lot faster if you'd stay still. Then I'd have time to fix the facility. So one of us at least would live. No need to be selfish, luv, you're gonna die.
Listens:
1725
Who:
Wheatley
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
OW!
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
810
Who:
GLaDOS
You won't regret this!
Listens:
632
Who:
Defective Turret
You're not part of the control group, by the way. You get the gel. Last poor son of a gun got blue paint. Hahaha. All joking aside, that did happen - broke every bone in his legs. Tragic. But informative. Or so I'm told.
Listens:
3461
Who:
Cave Johnson
Agh!
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.
Listens:
1738
Who:
Announcer
That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?
Listens:
1169
Who:
Cave Johnson
Lactose intolerant.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
680
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!
Listens:
34440
Who:
Core 1
Oh, brilliant, yeah. Take one last look at your precious human moon. Because it cannot help you now!
Listens:
2093
Who:
Wheatley
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
993
Who:
GLaDOS
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
948
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Moves lips while reading.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three. Two. One. [SMOOTH JAZZ]
Listens:
77619
Who:
Announcer
BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
Listens:
608
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Play it cool. Play it cool. Here come the space cops.
Listens:
5022
Who:
Core 1
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
4462
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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