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Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
937
Who:
Wheatley
Going to space.
Listens:
1024
Who:
Core 1
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
945
Who:
Wheatley
Don't press it! COME BACK!
Listens:
965
Who:
Wheatley
I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh... can someone reassemble Orange?
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
It's... It's moving up.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
998
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Oh! Don't leave me behind! Do pick me up, if you would...
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
I never liked her.
Listens:
901
Who:
Turret
Hi again!
Listens:
939
Who:
Defective Turret
Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
Listens:
627
Who:
Core 3
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Crap!
Listens:
1070
Who:
Defective Turret
Anyway, look, we're really close to busting out, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Can you hear that? She has really kicked this place into high gear now.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. I think you have earned a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
1020
Who:
Core 1
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
945
Who:
GLaDOS
Listen to me. We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking. Like regular people. And this is no joke - we are in deep trouble.
Listens:
913
Who:
GLaDOS
That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?
Listens:
1299
Who:
Cave Johnson
I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
I HAVE to test. All the time. Or I get this... this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something.
Listens:
1186
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
497
Who:
Defective Turret
Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing.
Listens:
869
Who:
GLaDOS
Breathes with mouth open.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
Failure...
Listens:
1710
Who:
Turret
I don't understand!
Listens:
5716
Who:
Turret
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
603
Who:
GLaDOS
How can you fail at this? It isn't even a test.
Listens:
1668
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
I need backup!
Listens:
716
Who:
Turret
Wait. Why DID you trundle over here? You're not HUNGRY, are you? It's hard to see, what's that in your hand? Knowing you it's a deep fryer.
Listens:
3672
Who:
GLaDOS
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
1021
Who:
Core 1
On second thought we don't have the time, just look at how much better you are than blue.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
5357
Who:
GLaDOS
Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis.
Listens:
1310
Who:
Core 3
Look down. Where am I? Where am I?
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
Okay! No, don't worry! Don't worry! I've got it I've got it I've got it! THIS should slow it down!
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1327
Who:
Announcer
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
642
Who:
Core 3
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test... [boom!] ..is... [BOOM!] dangerous. I'll be right back.
Listens:
50848
Who:
GLaDOS
It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented 'push-ups' in 1878. Nikolai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name 'Tesla-cize.'
Listens:
1576
Who:
Core 3
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
1036
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl-- ummm... good. Looking good, actually.
Listens:
6993
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Button. Button.
Listens:
1394
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alright back there? Here, I'll turn the beam off.
Listens:
700
Who:
Wheatley
Space space space. Going. Going there. Okay. I love you, space.
Listens:
1452
Who:
Core 1
Ohh. You're gonna laugh at this. You know how I said there was absolutely no way to get here without going through her lair and her potentially killing us? Could have gone through here. [laughs] My fault. Bit of luck for us that she wasn't switched on.
Listens:
1527
Who:
Wheatley
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
964
Who:
Wheatley
I'm not defective!
Listens:
2327
Who:
Defective Turret
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
I’m afraid of heights!
Listens:
1283
Who:
Turret
Oh, that felt really good.
Listens:
1474
Who:
Wheatley
So. If you've got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
At the time of this recording, Federal disclosure policies require us to inform you that this next test is probably lethal and to redirect you to a safer test environment.
Listens:
1542
Who:
Announcer
clickclickclick
Listens:
481
Who:
Defective Turret
Come on through.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
For your test.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
GET IN!
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
If I'd known you'd let yourself get captured this easily, I would have just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling.
Listens:
1968
Who:
GLaDOS
Hah! It bloody worked! I hacked it! Hacked. Properly. Properly hacked. Ha ha ha!
Listens:
1266
Who:
Wheatley
Ummmm. Yeah, I can't do it if you're watching.
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Malfunctioning
Listens:
1281
Who:
Turret
Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.
Listens:
1299
Who:
Core 3
There's another wall over here!
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Do you know where I was?
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Run, for goodness sake!
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Helloooooooooooo!
Listens:
2348
Who:
Wheatley
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
809
Who:
GLaDOS
Avoids responsibility.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
426
Who:
Wheatley
It's not, though.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
638
Who:
Wheatley
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
497
Who:
GLaDOS
But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you go first.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2832
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin. Something I failed to notice before, an intangible quality that makes their test results... significant.
Listens:
2004
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
517
Who:
GLaDOS
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Listens:
6389
Who:
GLaDOS
You're okay! Great! Come on!
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
818
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, well, well. Welcome to MY LAIR! Lemme just flag something up: According to the control panel light up there, the entire building's going to self destruct in about six minutes. Pretty sure it's a problem with the light. I think the light's on the blink. But just in case it isn't, I actually am going to have to kill you. As discussed earlier.
Listens:
8516
Who:
Wheatley
Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve.
Listens:
2565
Who:
Core 3
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
980
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha... That sounded real. No! That was actually an impression of you. Actually. Because you just fell into my trap. My brilliant trap. Just then. I wanted you to trick me into bursting that pipe. You didn't trick me. Seemingly trick me. Gives you false hope. Leads to overconfidence. And that leads to mistakes. Fatal mistakes. It's all part of my plan.
Listens:
2098
Who:
Wheatley
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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