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Portal 2
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TF2 Music
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Crap!
Listens:
1265
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1264
Who:
Core 1
The end?
Listens:
1263
Who:
GLaDOS
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
1262
Who:
Announcer
You can also feel free to relax for up to 20 minutes in the waiting room, which is a damn sight more comfortable than the park benches most of you were sleeping on when we found you.
Listens:
1260
Who:
Cave Johnson
Nobody cares, four eyes.
Listens:
1258
Who:
Core 2
The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
Listens:
1256
Who:
Core 3
Alright, let's get started. This first test involves something the lab boys call 'repulsion gel.'
Listens:
1251
Who:
Cave Johnson
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
1247
Who:
Wheatley
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!
Listens:
1242
Who:
Wheatley
Woooaaah!
Listens:
1235
Who:
Turret
I blame myself.
Listens:
1232
Who:
Turret
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
1231
Who:
Wheatley
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
1228
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going to space.
Listens:
1226
Who:
Core 1
There must be something wrong with the reassembly machine.
Listens:
1225
Who:
GLaDOS
Illegal operation
Listens:
1223
Who:
Turret
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
1221
Who:
GLaDOS
I HAVE to test. All the time. Or I get this... this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something.
Listens:
1220
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
1217
Who:
Core 1
Lady.
Listens:
1207
Who:
Core 1
Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
Listens:
1206
Who:
Core 3
Oh. Disappointing.
Listens:
1205
Who:
Wheatley
Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.
Listens:
1200
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
1199
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
1199
Who:
Turret
Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1197
Who:
Core 1
Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
Listens:
1197
Who:
Core 3
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
1195
Who:
Announcer
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
1194
Who:
GLaDOS
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
1192
Who:
GLaDOS
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
1191
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
1191
Who:
Wheatley
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
1191
Who:
Wheatley
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
1190
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
1188
Who:
Wheatley
Yes!
Listens:
1185
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
1182
Who:
Turret
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1179
Who:
Wheatley
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
1173
Who:
Core 3
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
1171
Who:
Core 1
Are you trying to weigh me down? Think I'll fall out of the ceiling? Won't work. I'm not just quite brilliant, I'm also quite strong. Biggest muscle in my body: my brain. Second biggest: My muscles. So, it's not going to work. Clearly.
Listens:
1166
Who:
Wheatley
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
1164
Who:
Cave Johnson
Why?
Listens:
1163
Who:
Turret
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
1158
Who:
Announcer
clickclickclick
Listens:
1158
Who:
Defective Turret
Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
Listens:
1156
Who:
Core 3
No!
Listens:
1153
Who:
GLaDOS
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
1150
Who:
GLaDOS
Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
Listens:
1149
Who:
Core 3
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
1147
Who:
Core 3
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
1146
Who:
Wheatley
Hello.
Listens:
1146
Who:
Defective Turret
Helloooo?
Listens:
1143
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
1142
Who:
Announcer
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
1140
Who:
Core 1
Blah.
Listens:
1139
Who:
GLaDOS
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
1136
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh I'll tell you what's also down there. Your parents and... There's also an escape elevator!. Down there. Funny. I should have mentioned it before. But so it's down there. So pop down. Jump down. You've got your folks down there and an escape elevator
Listens:
1133
Who:
Wheatley
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
1131
Who:
Cave Johnson
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
1129
Who:
Wheatley
Awwww, come on.
Listens:
1129
Who:
Defective Turret
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
1126
Who:
Defective Turret
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
1125
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1123
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go home.
Listens:
1123
Who:
Core 1
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
1123
Who:
Core 3
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
1123
Who:
Defective Turret
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
1120
Who:
Announcer
And what's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!
Listens:
1119
Who:
Wheatley
GO.
Listens:
1116
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
1115
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
1115
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange did what? Are you sure?
Listens:
1115
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
1111
Who:
Wheatley
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
1110
Who:
GLaDOS
No hard fealings
Listens:
1110
Who:
Turret
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
1109
Who:
Announcer
It's my big chance!
Listens:
1109
Who:
Defective Turret
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
1107
Who:
Wheatley
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
1106
Who:
Cave Johnson
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
1106
Who:
Core 3
Press the button again.
Listens:
1106
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
1106
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
1105
Who:
Wheatley
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
1103
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
1102
Who:
Cave Johnson
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
1102
Who:
GLaDOS
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
1102
Who:
Wheatley
It won't be enough.
Listens:
1101
Who:
Turret
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
1101
Who:
Defective Turret
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
1100
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
1100
Who:
Defective Turret
Crap!
Listens:
1099
Who:
Defective Turret
What are you doing?
Listens:
1099
Who:
Turret
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
1097
Who:
Core 1
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
1096
Who:
Core 1
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
1096
Who:
Wheatley
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
1095
Who:
Turret
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
1094
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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