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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Look out! I'm right behind you! No, of course I'm not. Saw through that too. Forty feet tall, right in front of you. Not my greatest ruse. To be honest. Still a giant robot, though.
Listens:
1144
Who:
Wheatley
Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
Listens:
1142
Who:
Core 3
If you're dying, but not dead, stomp once. If you're dead, obviously no stomps. And two stomps if you're not dead. Lemme just run through that again: If you're dying but not dead stomp just once. If you're dead, obviously you won't be stomping. And if you're not dead, give me two stomps.
Listens:
1138
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
1137
Who:
Core 1
Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1135
Who:
Core 1
I blame myself.
Listens:
1134
Who:
Turret
Alright, let's get started. This first test involves something the lab boys call 'repulsion gel.'
Listens:
1130
Who:
Cave Johnson
There must be something wrong with the reassembly machine.
Listens:
1130
Who:
GLaDOS
I HAVE to test. All the time. Or I get this... this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something.
Listens:
1124
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
1116
Who:
Turret
Illegal operation
Listens:
1116
Who:
Turret
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST possible job: tending to all the smelly humans. The umm... Sorry about that. That just slipped out.
Listens:
1115
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
1114
Who:
Core 1
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
1114
Who:
Wheatley
Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.
Listens:
1113
Who:
GLaDOS
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
1109
Who:
Announcer
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
1105
Who:
Defective Turret
Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
Listens:
1102
Who:
Core 3
Lady.
Listens:
1098
Who:
Core 1
Oh. Disappointing.
Listens:
1098
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
1097
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
1097
Who:
Turret
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
1094
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to weigh me down? Think I'll fall out of the ceiling? Won't work. I'm not just quite brilliant, I'm also quite strong. Biggest muscle in my body: my brain. Second biggest: My muscles. So, it's not going to work. Clearly.
Listens:
1091
Who:
Wheatley
Yes!
Listens:
1085
Who:
GLaDOS
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
1083
Who:
GLaDOS
Why?
Listens:
1082
Who:
Turret
Helloooo?
Listens:
1078
Who:
Wheatley
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
1077
Who:
GLaDOS
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1077
Who:
Wheatley
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
1076
Who:
Announcer
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
1076
Who:
Cave Johnson
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
1074
Who:
Wheatley
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
1070
Who:
Core 3
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
1068
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
1067
Who:
Defective Turret
Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
Listens:
1064
Who:
Core 3
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
1063
Who:
Defective Turret
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
1061
Who:
Announcer
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
1061
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1056
Who:
Core 1
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
1056
Who:
Defective Turret
Wanna go home.
Listens:
1055
Who:
Core 1
Orange did what? Are you sure?
Listens:
1054
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh I'll tell you what's also down there. Your parents and... There's also an escape elevator!. Down there. Funny. I should have mentioned it before. But so it's down there. So pop down. Jump down. You've got your folks down there and an escape elevator
Listens:
1053
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
1052
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
1042
Who:
Announcer
No!
Listens:
1042
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
1042
Who:
GLaDOS
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
1038
Who:
Wheatley
Awwww, come on.
Listens:
1038
Who:
Defective Turret
Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
Listens:
1037
Who:
Core 3
No hard fealings
Listens:
1037
Who:
Turret
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
1036
Who:
GLaDOS
And what's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!
Listens:
1036
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
1035
Who:
Wheatley
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
1032
Who:
Core 3
Hey.
Listens:
1030
Who:
Core 1
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
1029
Who:
GLaDOS
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
1028
Who:
Core 3
Blah.
Listens:
1027
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
1027
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh boy.
Listens:
1024
Who:
Core 1
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
1021
Who:
Core 1
What are you doing?
Listens:
1021
Who:
Turret
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
1020
Who:
GLaDOS
Press the button again.
Listens:
1019
Who:
GLaDOS
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
1019
Who:
GLaDOS
Crap!
Listens:
1018
Who:
Defective Turret
What's a guy gotta do to get some bullets around here?
Listens:
1017
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
1015
Who:
Core 1
GO.
Listens:
1014
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
1011
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
1008
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
1007
Who:
Announcer
Space.
Listens:
1003
Who:
Core 1
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
1003
Who:
Core 1
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
1003
Who:
GLaDOS
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
1002
Who:
Cave Johnson
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
1001
Who:
Core 1
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
1001
Who:
Core 1
It's my big chance!
Listens:
1001
Who:
Defective Turret
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
1000
Who:
Cave Johnson
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
998
Who:
Wheatley
It won't be enough.
Listens:
998
Who:
Turret
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
997
Who:
Wheatley
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
997
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
996
Who:
Core 3
I love space.
Listens:
995
Who:
Core 1
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
995
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey.
Listens:
994
Who:
Core 1
Are we in space?
Listens:
994
Who:
Core 1
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
993
Who:
Announcer
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
993
Who:
GLaDOS
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
993
Who:
Wheatley
Really? Okay.
Listens:
992
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
992
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
991
Who:
Wheatley
You will never go into space.
Listens:
990
Who:
Core 3
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
989
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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