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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Hey lady.
Listens:
919
Who:
Core 1
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
919
Who:
Wheatley
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
918
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
917
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
917
Who:
Core 1
I'm going to space.
Listens:
917
Who:
Core 1
Going to space.
Listens:
917
Who:
Core 1
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
916
Who:
Core 1
Machiavellian!
Listens:
916
Who:
Wheatley
It won't be enough.
Listens:
916
Who:
Turret
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
914
Who:
Core 1
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
914
Who:
Core 3
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
913
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
913
Who:
Core 1
Hey.
Listens:
912
Who:
Core 1
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
912
Who:
Turret
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
911
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
910
Who:
Core 1
No!
Listens:
910
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
908
Who:
Defective Turret
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
907
Who:
Announcer
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
905
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
901
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
900
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
898
Who:
Wheatley
Ow!
Listens:
896
Who:
Turret
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
894
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
894
Who:
Defective Turret
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
893
Who:
Cave Johnson
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
892
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hey.
Listens:
892
Who:
Core 1
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
892
Who:
GLaDOS
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
890
Who:
Core 3
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
890
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
888
Who:
GLaDOS
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
888
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
888
Who:
Wheatley
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
887
Who:
Announcer
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
887
Who:
Wheatley
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
880
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
878
Who:
Defective Turret
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
877
Who:
Cave Johnson
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
876
Who:
Cave Johnson
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
876
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
876
Who:
Wheatley
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
875
Who:
Core 2
Don't forget!
Listens:
875
Who:
Turret
Back again!
Listens:
875
Who:
Defective Turret
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
874
Who:
Cave Johnson
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
871
Who:
Announcer
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
871
Who:
Wheatley
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
870
Who:
Defective Turret
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
868
Who:
Wheatley
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
865
Who:
Wheatley
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
864
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you...
Listens:
863
Who:
Turret
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
862
Who:
Core 3
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
862
Who:
Wheatley
Put me down!
Listens:
861
Who:
Turret
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
859
Who:
GLaDOS
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
859
Who:
Wheatley
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
858
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
858
Who:
Wheatley
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
856
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
854
Who:
GLaDOS
I made it all up.
Listens:
854
Who:
GLaDOS
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
854
Who:
Wheatley
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
852
Who:
Core 2
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
850
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
848
Who:
Wheatley
Owww!
Listens:
848
Who:
Turret
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
843
Who:
Core 3
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
843
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
842
Who:
Wheatley
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
841
Who:
Defective Turret
Hi again!
Listens:
840
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
840
Who:
Defective Turret
Uhoh
Listens:
840
Who:
Turret
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
838
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
838
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
834
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
834
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
832
Who:
GLaDOS
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
832
Who:
GLaDOS
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
829
Who:
Core 3
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
828
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
828
Who:
Turret
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
827
Who:
GLaDOS
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
826
Who:
Wheatley
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
824
Who:
Wheatley
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
823
Who:
Wheatley
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
823
Who:
Wheatley
Hey
Listens:
823
Who:
Turret
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
822
Who:
Defective Turret
Owwww!
Listens:
822
Who:
Turret
I saw it. It was an accident.
Listens:
822
Who:
Turret
Can I help you?
Listens:
822
Who:
Turret
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
821
Who:
GLaDOS
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
821
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
820
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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