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Portal 2
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You will never go into space.
Listens:
1010
Who:
Core 3
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
1010
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
1007
Who:
Core 1
I love space.
Listens:
1007
Who:
Core 1
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
1005
Who:
Cave Johnson
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
1005
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
1002
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
999
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
999
Who:
GLaDOS
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
998
Who:
Core 1
Hey lady.
Listens:
997
Who:
Core 1
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
997
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
995
Who:
Announcer
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
995
Who:
Core 3
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
993
Who:
Core 1
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
991
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
988
Who:
Core 1
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
987
Who:
Announcer
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
987
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
986
Who:
Core 1
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
986
Who:
Wheatley
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
986
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
984
Who:
Core 1
Going to space.
Listens:
981
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
980
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
979
Who:
Core 1
Please go to space.
Listens:
979
Who:
Core 1
I'm going to space.
Listens:
978
Who:
Core 1
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
978
Who:
Core 1
Hey.
Listens:
977
Who:
Core 1
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
977
Who:
Wheatley
Ow!
Listens:
977
Who:
Turret
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
976
Who:
Cave Johnson
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
976
Who:
Core 1
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
974
Who:
Cave Johnson
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
974
Who:
Cave Johnson
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
973
Who:
Cave Johnson
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
973
Who:
Core 3
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
972
Who:
GLaDOS
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
971
Who:
Cave Johnson
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
971
Who:
Core 1
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
971
Who:
Core 3
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
971
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
970
Who:
Defective Turret
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
967
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
966
Who:
Core 1
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
966
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
966
Who:
Wheatley
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
965
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget!
Listens:
958
Who:
Turret
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
958
Who:
Defective Turret
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
956
Who:
GLaDOS
I made it all up.
Listens:
951
Who:
GLaDOS
Back again!
Listens:
948
Who:
Defective Turret
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
945
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
945
Who:
Wheatley
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
944
Who:
Wheatley
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
944
Who:
Defective Turret
Put me down!
Listens:
944
Who:
Turret
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
942
Who:
Core 3
Owww!
Listens:
940
Who:
Turret
What? No, you pressed that bAGGGHHHHHH
Listens:
938
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
937
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
936
Who:
Wheatley
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
934
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
934
Who:
GLaDOS
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
934
Who:
GLaDOS
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
932
Who:
Core 3
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
932
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
931
Who:
Wheatley
The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
930
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you...
Listens:
930
Who:
Turret
Hello.
Listens:
927
Who:
Wheatley
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
927
Who:
Wheatley
Uhoh
Listens:
927
Who:
Turret
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
923
Who:
GLaDOS
Owwww!
Listens:
923
Who:
Turret
Oh well. We have warehouses FULL of the things. Absolutely worthless. I'm happy to get rid of them.
Listens:
921
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
921
Who:
Defective Turret
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
915
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
914
Who:
Core 2
Please do not engage with turrets heading towards redemption.
Listens:
913
Who:
Announcer
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
913
Who:
Core 2
Yes, I see you waving.
Listens:
913
Who:
GLaDOS
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
909
Who:
GLaDOS
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
909
Who:
Wheatley
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
908
Who:
Wheatley
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
908
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
907
Who:
Wheatley
Hi again!
Listens:
906
Who:
Defective Turret
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
906
Who:
Defective Turret
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
905
Who:
GLaDOS
Defective Turret testing active.
Listens:
904
Who:
Announcer
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
904
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
903
Who:
Wheatley
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
903
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
903
Who:
Defective Turret
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
901
Who:
Core 3
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
901
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
901
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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