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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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Do you feel more human?
Listens:
701
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
Listens:
700
Who:
Core 2
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
700
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't do it.
Listens:
699
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
699
Who:
Wheatley
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
699
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
698
Who:
Wheatley
Good Job.
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
We are?
Listens:
695
Who:
Core 1
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
694
Who:
GLaDOS
You won't regret this!
Listens:
694
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
694
Who:
Defective Turret
Resting
Listens:
694
Who:
Turret
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
693
Who:
Wheatley
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
692
Who:
Core 2
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
Oh my.
Listens:
691
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
690
Who:
Core 1
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
690
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
690
Who:
Wheatley
three
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
688
Who:
GLaDOS
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
688
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
688
Who:
Wheatley
This isn't fair!
Listens:
687
Who:
Defective Turret
Come closer.
Listens:
686
Who:
Turret
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.
Listens:
683
Who:
Core 3
Ahhh...
Listens:
683
Who:
Wheatley
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
682
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
682
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
681
Who:
GLaDOS
But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life.
Listens:
680
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
680
Who:
Wheatley
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
676
Who:
Wheatley
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
676
Who:
Defective Turret
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
674
Who:
GLaDOS
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
673
Who:
Wheatley
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
671
Who:
Wheatley
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
671
Who:
Wheatley
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
671
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
671
Who:
Wheatley
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
669
Who:
Core 3
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
669
Who:
Wheatley
Well done!
Listens:
669
Who:
Turret
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
666
Who:
Wheatley
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
666
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
664
Who:
Core 1
Stop touching each other!
Listens:
663
Who:
GLaDOS
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
661
Who:
Core 3
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
661
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, that's long enough. Are you dead yet? How about now?
Listens:
660
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
660
Who:
Defective Turret
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
659
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?
Listens:
657
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
657
Who:
Wheatley
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
657
Who:
Wheatley
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
656
Who:
Wheatley
Canvassing
Listens:
656
Who:
Turret
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
655
Who:
Wheatley
Did something break back there?
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
651
Who:
Core 3
Come on, you've already solved it.
Listens:
651
Who:
Wheatley
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
651
Who:
Wheatley
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
651
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
650
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
650
Who:
Wheatley
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
649
Who:
Core 2
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
649
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
649
Who:
Defective Turret
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
It's not, though.
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
647
Who:
Wheatley
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
647
Who:
Wheatley
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
646
Who:
Wheatley
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
646
Who:
Wheatley
Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
644
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
643
Who:
Core 1
Honey does not spoil.
Listens:
640
Who:
Core 3
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
639
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
639
Who:
Wheatley
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
638
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
638
Who:
Wheatley
Pshh. Really? And do what, exactly?
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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