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Portal 2
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Are you alright back there? Here, I'll turn the beam off.
Listens:
713
Who:
Wheatley
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
712
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
709
Who:
Wheatley
Aw, come on!
Listens:
709
Who:
Defective Turret
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
708
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
706
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
705
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
705
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!
Listens:
705
Who:
Wheatley
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
703
Who:
Defective Turret
Good Job.
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
701
Who:
GLaDOS
Resting
Listens:
701
Who:
Turret
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
699
Who:
Wheatley
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
699
Who:
Wheatley
We are?
Listens:
698
Who:
Core 1
The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.
Listens:
698
Who:
Core 3
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
698
Who:
Core 2
Oh my.
Listens:
698
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
697
Who:
Core 1
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
697
Who:
Wheatley
You won't regret this!
Listens:
697
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
695
Who:
Wheatley
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
695
Who:
Wheatley
This isn't fair!
Listens:
695
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
694
Who:
GLaDOS
Come closer.
Listens:
694
Who:
Turret
three
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
691
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
691
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
691
Who:
Wheatley
But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life.
Listens:
690
Who:
GLaDOS
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
690
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
689
Who:
Defective Turret
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
688
Who:
Wheatley
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
687
Who:
Core 2
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
687
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
687
Who:
Wheatley
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
682
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
680
Who:
Wheatley
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
678
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
677
Who:
Core 3
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
677
Who:
Wheatley
Well done!
Listens:
677
Who:
Turret
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
676
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
675
Who:
Wheatley
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
671
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
668
Who:
Core 1
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
Stop touching each other!
Listens:
667
Who:
GLaDOS
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, that's long enough. Are you dead yet? How about now?
Listens:
666
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
666
Who:
Wheatley
Canvassing
Listens:
666
Who:
Turret
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
665
Who:
Core 3
Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?
Listens:
665
Who:
GLaDOS
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
665
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
665
Who:
Defective Turret
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
664
Who:
Wheatley
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
660
Who:
Wheatley
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
660
Who:
Wheatley
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
659
Who:
Wheatley
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
656
Who:
Core 3
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
655
Who:
Core 2
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
655
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something break back there?
Listens:
655
Who:
Wheatley
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
655
Who:
Wheatley
You KNOW her?
Listens:
655
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
655
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
655
Who:
Defective Turret
Come on, you've already solved it.
Listens:
654
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
652
Who:
Defective Turret
It's not, though.
Listens:
651
Who:
GLaDOS
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
651
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
650
Who:
Core 1
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
650
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
650
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
650
Who:
Wheatley
Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
649
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
649
Who:
GLaDOS
Pshh. Really? And do what, exactly?
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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