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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering.
Listens:
698
Who:
Core 3
Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
Listens:
697
Who:
Core 2
Don't do it.
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
696
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
Good Job.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
695
Who:
Wheatley
We are?
Listens:
694
Who:
Core 1
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
694
Who:
Wheatley
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
691
Who:
Core 2
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
691
Who:
GLaDOS
You won't regret this!
Listens:
691
Who:
Defective Turret
Resting
Listens:
691
Who:
Turret
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
690
Who:
Wheatley
Oh my.
Listens:
690
Who:
Turret
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
689
Who:
Wheatley
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
689
Who:
Defective Turret
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
688
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
686
Who:
Core 1
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
three
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
685
Who:
Wheatley
Come closer.
Listens:
685
Who:
Turret
This isn't fair!
Listens:
684
Who:
Defective Turret
The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.
Listens:
682
Who:
Core 3
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
682
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
682
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
680
Who:
Wheatley
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
679
Who:
GLaDOS
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
678
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
678
Who:
GLaDOS
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
No!
Listens:
677
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
674
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
673
Who:
GLaDOS
But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life.
Listens:
673
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
672
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
672
Who:
Defective Turret
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
671
Who:
Wheatley
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
668
Who:
Core 3
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
668
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done!
Listens:
668
Who:
Turret
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
667
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
667
Who:
Wheatley
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
667
Who:
Wheatley
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
667
Who:
Wheatley
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
666
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
664
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
663
Who:
Core 1
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
660
Who:
Defective Turret
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
659
Who:
Core 3
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
659
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop touching each other!
Listens:
659
Who:
GLaDOS
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
658
Who:
GLaDOS
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
656
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, that's long enough. Are you dead yet? How about now?
Listens:
655
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
Canvassing
Listens:
653
Who:
Turret
Did something break back there?
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
651
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, you've already solved it.
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
649
Who:
Defective Turret
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
648
Who:
Core 2
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
647
Who:
Core 3
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
647
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
646
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
646
Who:
Wheatley
It's not, though.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
645
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
645
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
645
Who:
Wheatley
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
645
Who:
Wheatley
Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
639
Who:
Core 1
Honey does not spoil.
Listens:
639
Who:
Core 3
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
639
Who:
GLaDOS
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
639
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
636
Who:
GLaDOS
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
636
Who:
Wheatley
Fine, 500 point penalty for Orange.
Listens:
634
Who:
GLaDOS
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
634
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
634
Who:
Wheatley
I forbid you to press it!
Listens:
634
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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