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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
708
Who:
GLaDOS
Aw, come on!
Listens:
707
Who:
Defective Turret
Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this:
Listens:
706
Who:
Wheatley
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
705
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
704
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
703
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
Good Job.
Listens:
701
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
701
Who:
Wheatley
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
700
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
699
Who:
Wheatley
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
Resting
Listens:
697
Who:
Turret
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
696
Who:
Wheatley
We are?
Listens:
695
Who:
Core 1
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
695
Who:
Core 2
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
695
Who:
Wheatley
You won't regret this!
Listens:
695
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
694
Who:
Wheatley
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
694
Who:
Wheatley
Oh my.
Listens:
694
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
693
Who:
Core 1
The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.
Listens:
693
Who:
Core 3
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
693
Who:
Wheatley
three
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
690
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
690
Who:
Wheatley
This isn't fair!
Listens:
689
Who:
Defective Turret
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
688
Who:
GLaDOS
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
688
Who:
GLaDOS
Come closer.
Listens:
687
Who:
Turret
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life.
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
685
Who:
Wheatley
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
683
Who:
Core 2
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
679
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
678
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
678
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
677
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
677
Who:
Wheatley
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
674
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
Well done!
Listens:
674
Who:
Turret
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
673
Who:
Core 3
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
673
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
670
Who:
Wheatley
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
667
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
666
Who:
Core 1
Stop touching each other!
Listens:
665
Who:
GLaDOS
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
664
Who:
Core 3
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
663
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, that's long enough. Are you dead yet? How about now?
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
663
Who:
Defective Turret
Canvassing
Listens:
663
Who:
Turret
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
661
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
661
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?
Listens:
660
Who:
GLaDOS
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
659
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
657
Who:
Wheatley
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
655
Who:
Core 3
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
655
Who:
Wheatley
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
654
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
654
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, you've already solved it.
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
Did something break back there?
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
651
Who:
Core 2
AH!
Listens:
650
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
649
Who:
Defective Turret
It's not, though.
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
646
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
646
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
645
Who:
Core 1
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
645
Who:
Wheatley
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
644
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
644
Who:
Wheatley
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
643
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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