Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
You KNOW her?
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
522
Who:
GLaDOS
Please get it off me.
Listens:
522
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
522
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
522
Who:
Defective Turret
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
521
Who:
Core 3
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
521
Who:
Core 2
You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
Listens:
521
Who:
Core 2
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
520
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
520
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
519
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
519
Who:
Defective Turret
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
517
Who:
Wheatley
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
516
Who:
Defective Turret
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
515
Who:
Core 2
Oh no...
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
515
Who:
Wheatley
Always sleeping.
Listens:
514
Who:
GLaDOS
Rgggh!
Listens:
514
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
514
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
513
Who:
Core 2
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
513
Who:
GLaDOS
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
513
Who:
Wheatley
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
512
Who:
Core 3
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
511
Who:
Wheatley
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
509
Who:
Wheatley
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
509
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
509
Who:
Defective Turret
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
508
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks!
Listens:
508
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
508
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
508
Who:
Wheatley
This time...
Listens:
508
Who:
Defective Turret
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
507
Who:
Wheatley
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
I wonder if the humans will make a statue of me for rescuing them? Oh, don't worry, if they ever write a historical document of my heroic rescue, I will make sure your names are included in the footnotes.
Listens:
505
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
505
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
504
Who:
Wheatley
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
501
Who:
Core 2
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
500
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
500
Who:
Wheatley
There. Try it now.
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
497
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
497
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
497
Who:
Defective Turret
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
496
Who:
Core 2
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
Alarmist.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang!
Listens:
496
Who:
Defective Turret
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
494
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow.
Listens:
494
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
494
Who:
Defective Turret
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
493
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
492
Who:
GLaDOS
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
491
Who:
Wheatley
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
491
Who:
Wheatley
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
490
Who:
Core 2
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
490
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
488
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
488
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
487
Who:
Wheatley
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi there!
Listens:
485
Who:
Defective Turret
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
484
Who:
GLaDOS
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
484
Who:
Wheatley
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
482
Who:
Wheatley
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
481
Who:
Wheatley
Just stop it already.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
479
Who:
Wheatley
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
479
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
479
Who:
Wheatley
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
