Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
490
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
490
Who:
Defective Turret
NO!
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
488
Who:
Wheatley
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
487
Who:
Core 3
clickclickclick
Listens:
487
Who:
Defective Turret
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
485
Who:
Core 3
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sleeping.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
485
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
485
Who:
Defective Turret
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
484
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
484
Who:
GLaDOS
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
483
Who:
Core 2
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
482
Who:
Wheatley
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
479
Who:
Core 3
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
479
Who:
Wheatley
I wonder if the humans will make a statue of me for rescuing them? Oh, don't worry, if they ever write a historical document of my heroic rescue, I will make sure your names are included in the footnotes.
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
476
Who:
Wheatley
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
475
Who:
Wheatley
This time...
Listens:
475
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
474
Who:
Core 2
Alarmist.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
There. Try it now.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
473
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
473
Who:
Defective Turret
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
469
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
469
Who:
Defective Turret
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
465
Who:
Core 2
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
465
Who:
Wheatley
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
463
Who:
Core 2
Cheater.
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
462
Who:
Wheatley
Rgggh!
Listens:
462
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
461
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
461
Who:
Defective Turret
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
460
Who:
Wheatley
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
460
Who:
Wheatley
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
457
Who:
Defective Turret
Ow.
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
453
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
453
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
453
Who:
Wheatley
ow.
Listens:
452
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang!
Listens:
452
Who:
Defective Turret
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
451
Who:
Core 2
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
450
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
450
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
450
Who:
Wheatley
Just stop it already.
Listens:
449
Who:
GLaDOS
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
449
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
NOT a team player.
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
447
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
447
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
447
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
447
Who:
Defective Turret
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
