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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
594
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
594
Who:
Defective Turret
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
593
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
591
Who:
Defective Turret
I know you.
Listens:
590
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
590
Who:
GLaDOS
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
588
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
587
Who:
Core 2
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
587
Who:
Wheatley
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
587
Who:
Wheatley
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
586
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
584
Who:
Defective Turret
Who said that?
Listens:
584
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah.
Listens:
583
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow.
Listens:
583
Who:
Wheatley
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
583
Who:
Defective Turret
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
582
Who:
Core 3
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang!
Listens:
581
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
581
Who:
Defective Turret
Good.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
580
Who:
Wheatley
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
578
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
578
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
578
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
578
Who:
Defective Turret
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
577
Who:
Defective Turret
Good.
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
576
Who:
Wheatley
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
576
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
576
Who:
Wheatley
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
575
Who:
Wheatley
Yes!
Listens:
574
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
573
Who:
Defective Turret
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
572
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
572
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
572
Who:
Defective Turret
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
571
Who:
Wheatley
NO!
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
five
Listens:
568
Who:
GLaDOS
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
568
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
Cheater.
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
565
Who:
Core 2
four
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
565
Who:
Wheatley
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
564
Who:
Wheatley
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
563
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
561
Who:
Core 2
It's eating me.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
560
Who:
Core 3
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
559
Who:
Core 3
Always sleeping.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
556
Who:
Wheatley
Please get it off me.
Listens:
555
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
553
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
553
Who:
Wheatley
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
552
Who:
Core 3
Alarmist.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
552
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
552
Who:
Wheatley
ow.
Listens:
551
Who:
GLaDOS
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
550
Who:
Wheatley
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
549
Who:
Wheatley
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
547
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
546
Who:
Core 2
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
546
Who:
Defective Turret
Um.
Listens:
546
Who:
Defective Turret
She did all the work.
Listens:
544
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
544
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
544
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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