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Portal 2
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Oh.
Listens:
517
Who:
Defective Turret
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
516
Who:
Core 3
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
516
Who:
Defective Turret
I know you.
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
515
Who:
Wheatley
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
514
Who:
Core 2
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
514
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
514
Who:
Defective Turret
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
513
Who:
GLaDOS
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
512
Who:
Core 2
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
512
Who:
Wheatley
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
511
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sleeping.
Listens:
511
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
511
Who:
Wheatley
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
511
Who:
Wheatley
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
510
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
510
Who:
Defective Turret
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
509
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
508
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
508
Who:
Wheatley
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
507
Who:
Core 3
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
507
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
507
Who:
Defective Turret
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
504
Who:
Core 2
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
504
Who:
Wheatley
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
504
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
504
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
504
Who:
Defective Turret
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
503
Who:
Wheatley
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
503
Who:
Wheatley
I wonder if the humans will make a statue of me for rescuing them? Oh, don't worry, if they ever write a historical document of my heroic rescue, I will make sure your names are included in the footnotes.
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
502
Who:
Wheatley
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
This time...
Listens:
501
Who:
Defective Turret
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
499
Who:
Core 2
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
499
Who:
Wheatley
Rgggh!
Listens:
498
Who:
Defective Turret
There. Try it now.
Listens:
497
Who:
GLaDOS
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
496
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
496
Who:
Wheatley
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks!
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Alarmist.
Listens:
494
Who:
GLaDOS
You KNOW her?
Listens:
494
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
494
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
490
Who:
Core 2
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
Ow.
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
489
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
488
Who:
Wheatley
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
487
Who:
Wheatley
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang!
Listens:
486
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
486
Who:
Defective Turret
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
485
Who:
Core 2
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
485
Who:
Wheatley
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
484
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
484
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
484
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
484
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
483
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
483
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
483
Who:
Defective Turret
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
479
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
ow.
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
475
Who:
Wheatley
Just stop it already.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
NOT a team player.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
471
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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