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Portal 2
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Always sad.
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
581
Who:
Defective Turret
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
580
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
580
Who:
Defective Turret
Who said that?
Listens:
579
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
578
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you.
Listens:
578
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
577
Who:
Core 2
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
577
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow.
Listens:
577
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
575
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
574
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
572
Who:
Defective Turret
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
571
Who:
Core 3
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
571
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
570
Who:
Wheatley
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
569
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
569
Who:
GLaDOS
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
569
Who:
Defective Turret
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
568
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
567
Who:
Defective Turret
five
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
566
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
566
Who:
Defective Turret
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
565
Who:
Wheatley
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
565
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
565
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
565
Who:
Defective Turret
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
564
Who:
Wheatley
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
four
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
560
Who:
Wheatley
Cheater.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
558
Who:
Wheatley
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
557
Who:
Core 3
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
557
Who:
Core 2
Dang!
Listens:
557
Who:
Defective Turret
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
556
Who:
Core 2
It's eating me.
Listens:
555
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
555
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
555
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
554
Who:
Core 3
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sleeping.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
551
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
551
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
Please get it off me.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
547
Who:
Core 3
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
547
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
546
Who:
Defective Turret
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
545
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
544
Who:
Wheatley
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
541
Who:
Core 2
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
540
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
540
Who:
Defective Turret
Um.
Listens:
540
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
Alarmist.
Listens:
538
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
538
Who:
Defective Turret
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
537
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
536
Who:
Wheatley
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
535
Who:
Wheatley
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
534
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
534
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
She did all the work.
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
532
Who:
Wheatley
Yes!
Listens:
532
Who:
Wheatley
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
532
Who:
Defective Turret
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
531
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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