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Portal 2
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The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
654
Who:
Core 3
Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Listens:
654
Who:
Defective Turret
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
652
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
652
Who:
GLaDOS
All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?
Listens:
651
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, I'm pulling you out.
Listens:
650
Who:
GLaDOS
That's horrible.
Listens:
650
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody is going to have to repair it. No, it's okay, I'll do that too. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
649
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang!
Listens:
649
Who:
Defective Turret
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
Listens:
646
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press the button!
Listens:
646
Who:
Wheatley
Miss you!
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
You have excellent aim!
Listens:
645
Who:
Turret
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
644
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
644
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST job, tending to all the smelly humans.
Listens:
644
Who:
Wheatley
Yay, Blue is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
642
Who:
GLaDOS
She’s probably okay.
Listens:
642
Who:
Turret
So... you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST... FINE.
Listens:
640
Who:
Wheatley
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
637
Who:
Defective Turret
Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?
Listens:
637
Who:
Defective Turret
No wait, come back. Sorry. Please. I was going somewhere with that.
Listens:
636
Who:
Wheatley
Come closer.
Listens:
634
Who:
Turret
The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
Listens:
633
Who:
Core 3
I need backup!
Listens:
632
Who:
Turret
What is this, like a hobby for you now? I mean, honestly, it's crazy! You've been running around for hours, I'm surprised you have the energy to smash screens willy nilly. Honestly, I'd have a little lie down if I were you. Have a nap.
Listens:
631
Who:
Wheatley
Firing
Listens:
630
Who:
Turret
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
629
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at you. Dancing.
Listens:
629
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Still not working.
Listens:
627
Who:
Defective Turret
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
626
Who:
Wheatley
Thought you'd seen the last of us, didn't ya?
Listens:
626
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, I see you waving.
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
624
Who:
GLaDOS
And as soon as I can PROVE it, the laws of robotics allow me to terminate you for being a liar.
Listens:
622
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! Perhaps the turrets have found a way to use garrotes. That would explain the extremely... quiet killing. That I'm hearing.
Listens:
622
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Oh! Did it kill you? Oh, that would be amazing if it killed you.
Listens:
621
Who:
Wheatley
Aw, come on!
Listens:
621
Who:
Defective Turret
I let him keep his job. I'm not a monster. Ignore what he's saying, though. Keep testing.
Listens:
618
Who:
Wheatley
Does it actually make you feel good when you do that? Because it's not impressive. Noone's impressed. It's just glass, isn't it. Fragile. A baby could smash one of them. It's not impressive.
Listens:
617
Who:
Wheatley
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
615
Who:
GLaDOS
So he's inexplicably happy all of a sudden, even though he should be going out of his mind with test withdrawal. AND he's got a surprise for us. What did he FIND back there?
Listens:
615
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you feel more human?
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it.
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
You won't regret this!
Listens:
614
Who:
Defective Turret
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
613
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alright back there? Here, I'll turn the beam off.
Listens:
613
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Our handiwork. Shouldn't laugh. They do feel pain. Of a sort. All simulated. But real enough for them I suppose.
Listens:
613
Who:
Wheatley
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
612
Who:
Core 2
Hello?
Listens:
612
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Plan B. We need humans.
Listens:
611
Who:
GLaDOS
Well... Good. Good. Finally, a nemesis worthy of my vast intellect.
Listens:
610
Who:
Wheatley
Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.
Listens:
609
Who:
Core 3
NO!
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
609
Who:
Wheatley
We are?
Listens:
608
Who:
Core 1
Tungsten has the highest melting point of any metal, at 3,410 degrees Celsius.
Listens:
607
Who:
Core 3
Orange
Listens:
607
Who:
GLaDOS
Perhaps I should have specified. Teamwork is a concept in which two or more people work together, usually with a goal of not failing horribly.
Listens:
607
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, buddy!
Listens:
606
Who:
Wheatley
Resting
Listens:
606
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
605
Who:
Core 1
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
605
Who:
Core 3
You just beat this test. Literally twenty seconds ago.
Listens:
605
Who:
Wheatley
Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
Listens:
604
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
603
Who:
Defective Turret
Well done!
Listens:
603
Who:
Turret
ow.
Listens:
602
Who:
GLaDOS
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
601
Who:
Core 2
Really? You’re just going to blatantly cheat?
Listens:
601
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
601
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
600
Who:
Wheatley
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
598
Who:
GLaDOS
No, you should plug that little idiot into the mainframe!
Listens:
598
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, thanks so much!
Listens:
598
Who:
Defective Turret
Fine, 500 point penalty for Blue.
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
three
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
597
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. You survived. That's interesting. I guess I should have factored in your weight.
Listens:
595
Who:
GLaDOS
Warmer. Warrrrmer. Boiling hot. Boiling--okay, colder. Ice cold. Arctic. Very very very cold LOOK JUST GET ON THE BUTTON!
Listens:
595
Who:
Wheatley
Yahh. Gehhh!
Listens:
595
Who:
Wheatley
Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this:
Listens:
594
Who:
Wheatley
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
594
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, sweetie! He's got a glass jaw! He's got a glass everything! This guy's a china cabinet!
Listens:
593
Who:
Core 2
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
593
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
593
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
592
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
592
Who:
GLaDOS
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
591
Who:
Wheatley
Oh my.
Listens:
591
Who:
Turret
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
590
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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