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Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
530
Who:
Defective Turret
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
529
Who:
Core 3
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
Listens:
527
Who:
Core 3
ow.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
Simple word. 'Apple'.
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
Two
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
525
Who:
Wheatley
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
524
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
524
Who:
GLaDOS
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
523
Who:
Core 2
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
523
Who:
GLaDOS
But that was worth it.
Listens:
523
Who:
GLaDOS
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
Nicely Done!
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
522
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
522
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
520
Who:
Defective Turret
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
519
Who:
Core 3
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
517
Who:
GLaDOS
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
517
Who:
Wheatley
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
516
Who:
Core 3
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
513
Who:
Wheatley
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
science collaboration points.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
512
Who:
Wheatley
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
511
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
511
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
511
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
511
Who:
Defective Turret
It's eating me.
Listens:
510
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
508
Who:
Core 2
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
508
Who:
Wheatley
Who said that?
Listens:
508
Who:
Defective Turret
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
507
Who:
Core 3
Not so fast!
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
507
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
506
Who:
Core 2
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
506
Who:
Core 2
Yeghh!
Listens:
506
Who:
Wheatley
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
505
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
505
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come on!
Listens:
505
Who:
Defective Turret
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
504
Who:
GLaDOS
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
504
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
502
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
502
Who:
Defective Turret
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
500
Who:
Core 3
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
500
Who:
Core 2
You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
Listens:
499
Who:
Core 2
five
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
four
Listens:
497
Who:
GLaDOS
Even if I am lying, what do you have to lose? You're going to die either way.
Listens:
497
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
497
Who:
Defective Turret
Please get it off me.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
495
Who:
Core 2
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
494
Who:
GLaDOS
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
493
Who:
Wheatley
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
493
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
492
Who:
GLaDOS
eight
Listens:
492
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
492
Who:
GLaDOS
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
492
Who:
Wheatley
Always sad.
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you.
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
491
Who:
Wheatley
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
491
Who:
Wheatley
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
491
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
491
Who:
Wheatley
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
490
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
488
Who:
Core 2
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
488
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
488
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
487
Who:
Wheatley
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
486
Who:
Core 2
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
486
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
486
Who:
Defective Turret
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
486
Who:
Defective Turret
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
485
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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