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Portal 2
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TF2 Music
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Done! Hacked!
Listens:
522
Who:
Wheatley
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
520
Who:
Core 2
AH!
Listens:
520
Who:
Wheatley
Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
Listens:
519
Who:
Core 3
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
518
Who:
GLaDOS
Woooo! I KNEW this would be fun. They told me it wasn't fun at all, and I BELIEVED 'em! Ah! I'm loving this! Whale of a time...
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
But that was worth it.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
516
Who:
Wheatley
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
514
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
513
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
513
Who:
GLaDOS
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
512
Who:
Wheatley
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
511
Who:
Core 3
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
511
Who:
Wheatley
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
510
Who:
Defective Turret
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
509
Who:
Core 3
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
509
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
509
Who:
Wheatley
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
508
Who:
GLaDOS
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
508
Who:
GLaDOS
Two
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
505
Who:
Core 2
It's eating me.
Listens:
505
Who:
GLaDOS
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
505
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
505
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
504
Who:
Core 2
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
504
Who:
GLaDOS
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
504
Who:
GLaDOS
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
504
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
504
Who:
Wheatley
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
503
Who:
Core 2
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
503
Who:
Wheatley
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
501
Who:
Wheatley
Who said that?
Listens:
501
Who:
Defective Turret
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
500
Who:
Core 3
Not so fast!
Listens:
500
Who:
GLaDOS
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
497
Who:
Core 3
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
497
Who:
Core 2
You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
Listens:
497
Who:
Core 2
Nicely Done!
Listens:
496
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
494
Who:
Defective Turret
Even if I am lying, what do you have to lose? You're going to die either way.
Listens:
493
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
493
Who:
Wheatley
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
492
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
492
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
492
Who:
Wheatley
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
491
Who:
Core 2
science collaboration points.
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
490
Who:
GLaDOS
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
490
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come on!
Listens:
490
Who:
Defective Turret
[yelling]
Listens:
489
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
489
Who:
Defective Turret
Ahhh...
Listens:
488
Who:
Wheatley
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
487
Who:
Core 2
Please get it off me.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
487
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
five
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sad.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
484
Who:
Core 2
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
484
Who:
Wheatley
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
484
Who:
Wheatley
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
484
Who:
Wheatley
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
484
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
484
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
483
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
483
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
482
Who:
Wheatley
I know you.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeghh!
Listens:
479
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
479
Who:
Defective Turret
four
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
478
Who:
Defective Turret
eight
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
476
Who:
Core 3
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
476
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
475
Who:
Defective Turret
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
473
Who:
Core 3
00:00 / 00:00
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