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Did something break back there?
Listens:
588
Who:
Wheatley
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
587
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
Listens:
587
Who:
GLaDOS
What a horrible little machine.
Listens:
587
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes.
Listens:
587
Who:
GLaDOS
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
586
Who:
Wheatley
Come on. Ohhhh. Hit me with it.
Listens:
586
Who:
Wheatley
Didn't even get to the good part yet. Twist ending.
Listens:
585
Who:
Wheatley
Reactions?
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
Two
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
583
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
583
Who:
Wheatley
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
But that was worth it.
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
580
Who:
Wheatley
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
579
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
579
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeghh!
Listens:
579
Who:
Wheatley
Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
Listens:
578
Who:
Core 3
You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
578
Who:
GLaDOS
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
577
Who:
Core 3
Simple word. 'Apple'.
Listens:
577
Who:
Wheatley
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
576
Who:
Wheatley
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
[yelling]
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
573
Who:
Defective Turret
Nicely Done!
Listens:
572
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
571
Who:
Defective Turret
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
568
Who:
GLaDOS
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
I thought of another great thing about humans. You invented us. Giving us the opportunity to let you relax while we invented everything else. We couldn't have done any of that without you. Classy. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
564
Who:
Wheatley
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
564
Who:
Wheatley
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
562
Who:
Wheatley
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
560
Who:
Core 3
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
559
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
559
Who:
Defective Turret
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
Who said that?
Listens:
558
Who:
Defective Turret
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
556
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
556
Who:
Defective Turret
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
555
Who:
Wheatley
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
551
Who:
Core 2
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
551
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
551
Who:
Defective Turret
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
550
Who:
Core 3
Good.
Listens:
550
Who:
GLaDOS
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
550
Who:
Wheatley
You KNOW her?
Listens:
550
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come on!
Listens:
550
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
548
Who:
Core 2
five
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
547
Who:
Core 2
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
546
Who:
Core 3
I know you.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
Always sad.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
543
Who:
Core 2
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
542
Who:
Core 2
Good.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
541
Who:
Core 3
It's eating me.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
540
Who:
Core 3
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
540
Who:
Core 2
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
540
Who:
Core 2
four
Listens:
540
Who:
GLaDOS
eight
Listens:
540
Who:
GLaDOS
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
539
Who:
Wheatley
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
539
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
538
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
538
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
538
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
538
Who:
Wheatley
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
537
Who:
Core 3
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
537
Who:
Core 2
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
537
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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