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In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
554
Who:
Core 3
Done! Hacked!
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
553
Who:
Wheatley
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
553
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
551
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
550
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
550
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
550
Who:
GLaDOS
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
550
Who:
Wheatley
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
549
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
548
Who:
Defective Turret
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
Simple word. 'Apple'.
Listens:
547
Who:
Wheatley
I thought of another great thing about humans. You invented us. Giving us the opportunity to let you relax while we invented everything else. We couldn't have done any of that without you. Classy. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
547
Who:
Wheatley
But that was worth it.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
Listens:
545
Who:
Core 3
science collaboration points.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
545
Who:
Wheatley
Nicely Done!
Listens:
545
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
543
Who:
Defective Turret
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
540
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
540
Who:
Wheatley
You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
539
Who:
Wheatley
Who said that?
Listens:
539
Who:
Defective Turret
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
538
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
535
Who:
Core 2
Not so fast!
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
535
Who:
Defective Turret
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
534
Who:
GLaDOS
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
533
Who:
Core 3
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
[yelling]
Listens:
532
Who:
Wheatley
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
529
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
529
Who:
Defective Turret
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
525
Who:
Core 3
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
525
Who:
Core 2
five
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
524
Who:
Core 3
Good.
Listens:
524
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeghh!
Listens:
524
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
524
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
523
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
523
Who:
GLaDOS
It's eating me.
Listens:
523
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
522
Who:
Core 2
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
522
Who:
GLaDOS
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
520
Who:
GLaDOS
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
520
Who:
Wheatley
four
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
518
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
517
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
517
Who:
Wheatley
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
517
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
516
Who:
Core 2
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
515
Who:
Core 3
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come on!
Listens:
515
Who:
Defective Turret
Always sad.
Listens:
514
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
514
Who:
Wheatley
eight
Listens:
513
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
513
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
512
Who:
Wheatley
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
511
Who:
GLaDOS
Even if I am lying, what do you have to lose? You're going to die either way.
Listens:
510
Who:
GLaDOS
Please get it off me.
Listens:
510
Who:
GLaDOS
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
509
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
509
Who:
Defective Turret
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
508
Who:
Core 3
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
508
Who:
Core 2
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
508
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
508
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
508
Who:
Defective Turret
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
507
Who:
Core 3
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
507
Who:
Core 2
You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
Listens:
507
Who:
Core 2
NO!
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
507
Who:
Wheatley
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
506
Who:
Core 2
00:00 / 00:00
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