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Portal 2
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Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
497
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
497
Who:
Defective Turret
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
496
Who:
Wheatley
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
494
Who:
Core 2
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
493
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
491
Who:
Defective Turret
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
490
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
490
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
489
Who:
Wheatley
Think about this.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
488
Who:
Wheatley
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
488
Who:
Defective Turret
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
488
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can start testing. Just like old times.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
485
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
485
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
485
Who:
Wheatley
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
484
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it!
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
481
Who:
Core 2
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
481
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
481
Who:
Defective Turret
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Come back!
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
479
Who:
Core 2
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
475
Who:
Core 2
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
475
Who:
Defective Turret
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
473
Who:
Wheatley
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
471
Who:
Defective Turret
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
471
Who:
Defective Turret
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
469
Who:
Wheatley
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, come on!
Listens:
468
Who:
Defective Turret
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
466
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
465
Who:
Wheatley
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
464
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
463
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
463
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
463
Who:
Defective Turret
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
463
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, what?
Listens:
463
Who:
Defective Turret
You're doing great!
Listens:
462
Who:
Core 2
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
462
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
462
Who:
Wheatley
Emotional problems.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
461
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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