Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Uh oh.
Listens:
507
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
507
Who:
Defective Turret
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
506
Who:
Core 2
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh...
Listens:
506
Who:
Defective Turret
Think about this.
Listens:
504
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
504
Who:
GLaDOS
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
504
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
502
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
502
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
501
Who:
Defective Turret
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
500
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
499
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
497
Who:
Defective Turret
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
496
Who:
Defective Turret
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
494
Who:
Wheatley
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
494
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
494
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
493
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
493
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
493
Who:
Wheatley
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
493
Who:
Defective Turret
The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can start testing. Just like old times.
Listens:
492
Who:
GLaDOS
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
491
Who:
Wheatley
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
490
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
490
Who:
GLaDOS
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
489
Who:
Wheatley
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
488
Who:
Defective Turret
You did it!
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
486
Who:
Core 2
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
486
Who:
Core 2
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
485
Who:
Defective Turret
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
484
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Come back!
Listens:
482
Who:
Wheatley
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
482
Who:
Wheatley
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
481
Who:
Wheatley
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
481
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
481
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
479
Who:
Defective Turret
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
478
Who:
Core 2
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
Ah, come on!
Listens:
476
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
475
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
473
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
473
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
472
Who:
Defective Turret
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
471
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
470
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
470
Who:
Wheatley
You're doing great!
Listens:
469
Who:
Core 2
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes? Something you need?
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go of me!
Listens:
469
Who:
Wheatley
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
469
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
