Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
977
Who:
GLaDOS
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
977
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you...
Listens:
976
Who:
Turret
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
974
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
970
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, I don't like this any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who got partially eaten by a bird.
Listens:
968
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. You're the tumor.
Listens:
966
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
965
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
965
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
964
Who:
Wheatley
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
963
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, here's a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto.
Listens:
961
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
960
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
960
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
959
Who:
Defective Turret
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
958
Who:
Core 3
That's where YOU come in.
Listens:
958
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a clean room facility, decontaminates can harm the turret redemption process.
Listens:
956
Who:
Announcer
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
955
Who:
Wheatley
I saw it. It was an accident.
Listens:
955
Who:
Turret
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
953
Who:
Wheatley
This is trouble.
Listens:
953
Who:
Defective Turret
Hi again!
Listens:
951
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
948
Who:
Wheatley
Live turret line is active. Enter room with extreme caution.
Listens:
943
Who:
Announcer
Catwalks are safe during defective turret testing.
Listens:
943
Who:
Announcer
Listen to me. We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking. Like regular people. And this is no joke - we are in deep trouble.
Listens:
942
Who:
GLaDOS
Paradoxes.
Listens:
942
Who:
GLaDOS
Something’s wrong...
Listens:
940
Who:
Turret
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
939
Who:
Wheatley
Non-defective turret testing active.
Listens:
938
Who:
Announcer
Don't. Do it.
Listens:
938
Who:
GLaDOS
Help!
Listens:
938
Who:
Turret
Being Caroline taught me another valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
936
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
936
Who:
Wheatley
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
934
Who:
GLaDOS
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
933
Who:
Wheatley
Fantastic.
Listens:
933
Who:
Defective Turret
See you soon!
Listens:
933
Who:
Turret
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
932
Who:
GLaDOS
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
931
Who:
GLaDOS
Howdy, stranger! We're back!
Listens:
930
Who:
Defective Turret
The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down.
Listens:
929
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
928
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, even if you think we're still enemies, we're enemies with a common interest: Revenge.
Listens:
927
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on.
Listens:
927
Who:
Wheatley
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
927
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
927
Who:
Wheatley
Avoid defective defective turrets as they may still be active.
Listens:
922
Who:
Announcer
Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
921
Who:
GLaDOS
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
921
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, you win.
Listens:
921
Who:
Turret
Oh dear.
Listens:
921
Who:
Turret
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
920
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
919
Who:
Turret
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
918
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
918
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
918
Who:
Defective Turret
Hibernating
Listens:
918
Who:
Turret
Yeah, that's right! Still defective!
Listens:
917
Who:
Defective Turret
Take me with you? Please?
Listens:
917
Who:
Defective Turret
Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient in toothpaste continued to be used up until the 18th century.
Listens:
915
Who:
Core 3
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
915
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh. What?
Listens:
914
Who:
Wheatley
I never liked her.
Listens:
914
Who:
Turret
I'm kidding.
Listens:
913
Who:
GLaDOS
I have a surprise waiting for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint: It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time.
Listens:
911
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
911
Who:
Wheatley
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
909
Who:
Core 1
Yeah! Non-lethal as ever.
Listens:
908
Who:
Defective Turret
Annnnd we're back!
Listens:
907
Who:
Defective Turret
You're in this together, aren't you? You've been playing me the whole time! Both of you! First you make me think you're brain damaged! Then you convince me you're sworn enemies with your best friend over here!
Listens:
906
Who:
Wheatley
Can I help you?
Listens:
906
Who:
Turret
Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
905
Who:
Wheatley
The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days.
Listens:
904
Who:
Core 3
Hi?
Listens:
904
Who:
Turret
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
903
Who:
Core 3
Oh no, don't. Anyway, back to you two imbeciles killing me.
Listens:
903
Who:
GLaDOS
Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing.
Listens:
903
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't breathe...
Listens:
901
Who:
Turret
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
899
Who:
Core 3
I, uh... I am a bad man.
Listens:
899
Who:
Defective Turret
Excellent.
Listens:
898
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
898
Who:
Turret
Keep it up and you will lose 500 points.
Listens:
895
Who:
GLaDOS
I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.
Listens:
895
Who:
Wheatley
No no, no no, no no, whoa whoa, no, whoa!
Listens:
895
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, credit where it's due: for a little idiot built specifically to come up with stupid, unworkable plans, that was a pretty well laid trap.
Listens:
894
Who:
GLaDOS
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
894
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
893
Who:
GLaDOS
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
893
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
891
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
889
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
888
Who:
GLaDOS
Corruption at 25%
Listens:
887
Who:
Core 3
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
885
Who:
Wheatley
You have a gift for these tests. That’s not just flattery. You are great at science.
Listens:
884
Who:
GLaDOS
After that...who knows? I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe.
Listens:
884
Who:
GLaDOS
Because this message is prerecorded, the Enrichment Center has no way of knowing if whatever government remains offers any sort of Cattle Tuberculosis Testing Credit for taxes.
Listens:
882
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
882
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
