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Portal 2
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TF2 Music
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Owww!
Listens:
989
Who:
Turret
Hey
Listens:
988
Who:
Turret
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
987
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you...
Listens:
987
Who:
Turret
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
982
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't. Do it.
Listens:
982
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
979
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
979
Who:
Wheatley
Look, I don't like this any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who got partially eaten by a bird.
Listens:
978
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. You're the tumor.
Listens:
978
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
977
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
975
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, here's a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto.
Listens:
975
Who:
GLaDOS
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
974
Who:
GLaDOS
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
973
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
973
Who:
Wheatley
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
973
Who:
Wheatley
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
973
Who:
Wheatley
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
973
Who:
Wheatley
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
971
Who:
Wheatley
This is trouble.
Listens:
971
Who:
Defective Turret
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
970
Who:
Core 3
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
970
Who:
Wheatley
That's where YOU come in.
Listens:
969
Who:
GLaDOS
The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down.
Listens:
968
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
967
Who:
Defective Turret
This is a clean room facility, decontaminates can harm the turret redemption process.
Listens:
966
Who:
Announcer
Help!
Listens:
966
Who:
Turret
I saw it. It was an accident.
Listens:
965
Who:
Turret
Hi again!
Listens:
961
Who:
Defective Turret
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
960
Who:
Wheatley
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
958
Who:
Wheatley
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
957
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on.
Listens:
957
Who:
Wheatley
Catwalks are safe during defective turret testing.
Listens:
953
Who:
Announcer
Listen to me. We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking. Like regular people. And this is no joke - we are in deep trouble.
Listens:
952
Who:
GLaDOS
Live turret line is active. Enter room with extreme caution.
Listens:
951
Who:
Announcer
clickclickclick
Listens:
950
Who:
Defective Turret
Something’s wrong...
Listens:
950
Who:
Turret
Paradoxes.
Listens:
949
Who:
GLaDOS
Fantastic.
Listens:
949
Who:
Defective Turret
Look, even if you think we're still enemies, we're enemies with a common interest: Revenge.
Listens:
948
Who:
GLaDOS
Being Caroline taught me another valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
947
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
946
Who:
GLaDOS
Non-defective turret testing active.
Listens:
945
Who:
Announcer
Howdy, stranger! We're back!
Listens:
944
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
943
Who:
GLaDOS
See you soon!
Listens:
943
Who:
Turret
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
940
Who:
Wheatley
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
940
Who:
Wheatley
Hibernating
Listens:
940
Who:
Turret
Do not press that button!
Listens:
939
Who:
Wheatley
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
938
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
936
Who:
GLaDOS
Avoid defective defective turrets as they may still be active.
Listens:
933
Who:
Announcer
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
933
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
932
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
932
Who:
Turret
Take me with you? Please?
Listens:
931
Who:
Defective Turret
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
928
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, you win.
Listens:
928
Who:
Turret
Oh dear.
Listens:
928
Who:
Turret
Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient in toothpaste continued to be used up until the 18th century.
Listens:
927
Who:
Core 3
Yeah, that's right! Still defective!
Listens:
927
Who:
Defective Turret
Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing.
Listens:
926
Who:
GLaDOS
You're in this together, aren't you? You've been playing me the whole time! Both of you! First you make me think you're brain damaged! Then you convince me you're sworn enemies with your best friend over here!
Listens:
926
Who:
Wheatley
I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.
Listens:
926
Who:
Wheatley
Ahh. What?
Listens:
925
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
925
Who:
Wheatley
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
923
Who:
GLaDOS
I have a surprise waiting for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint: It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time.
Listens:
922
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
920
Who:
Wheatley
I'm kidding.
Listens:
919
Who:
GLaDOS
I never liked her.
Listens:
917
Who:
Turret
Annnnd we're back!
Listens:
915
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! Non-lethal as ever.
Listens:
915
Who:
Defective Turret
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
914
Who:
Core 1
The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days.
Listens:
913
Who:
Core 3
Can't breathe...
Listens:
913
Who:
Turret
Can I help you?
Listens:
913
Who:
Turret
Hi?
Listens:
912
Who:
Turret
NO!
Listens:
911
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
911
Who:
Turret
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
910
Who:
Wheatley
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
909
Who:
Core 3
Oh no, don't. Anyway, back to you two imbeciles killing me.
Listens:
909
Who:
GLaDOS
No no, no no, no no, whoa whoa, no, whoa!
Listens:
909
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, credit where it's due: for a little idiot built specifically to come up with stupid, unworkable plans, that was a pretty well laid trap.
Listens:
908
Who:
GLaDOS
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
907
Who:
Core 3
Corruption at 25%
Listens:
907
Who:
Core 3
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
906
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep it up and you will lose 500 points.
Listens:
905
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
905
Who:
GLaDOS
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
905
Who:
Wheatley
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
904
Who:
Wheatley
I, uh... I am a bad man.
Listens:
902
Who:
Defective Turret
Excellent.
Listens:
901
Who:
GLaDOS
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
900
Who:
Core 3
Because this message is prerecorded, the Enrichment Center has no way of knowing if whatever government remains offers any sort of Cattle Tuberculosis Testing Credit for taxes.
Listens:
897
Who:
GLaDOS
You have a gift for these tests. That’s not just flattery. You are great at science.
Listens:
896
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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