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Portal 2
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I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes? Something you need?
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
There it is.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Tadah! Only the turret control center. Thank you very much.
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
355
Who:
Defective Turret
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
354
Who:
Defective Turret
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh, here we go... here it comes...
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
345
Who:
Defective Turret
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
You might want to notice the moat area... rather large. Not to mention deadly. [laughs]
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Let go!
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, safe travels, there.
Listens:
341
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't be a stranger!
Listens:
341
Who:
Defective Turret
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
That was fun, wasn't it?
Listens:
340
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
340
Who:
Defective Turret
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Turrets!
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
I won't let you down!
Listens:
336
Who:
Defective Turret
You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't take anything with you.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Run, for goodness sake!
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
What'd I hit?
Listens:
334
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright, check THIS out.
Listens:
334
Who:
Defective Turret
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
It flew off.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
In summary: walk all the way to certain doom, or give up now. Honorably. Like a samurai! Save yourself a trip. It's win-win for you.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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