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Portal 2
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Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
406
Who:
Wheatley
Okay!
Listens:
406
Who:
Defective Turret
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
404
Who:
Core 2
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
404
Who:
Defective Turret
Let go!
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
No!
Listens:
402
Who:
Wheatley
Emotional problems.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not do it!
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
Blue is penalized
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Turrets!
Listens:
396
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
396
Who:
Wheatley
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
395
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
395
Who:
Defective Turret
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
393
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
393
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
392
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
392
Who:
Defective Turret
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
392
Who:
Defective Turret
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
391
Who:
Wheatley
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
390
Who:
Defective Turret
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
There it is.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
386
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
386
Who:
Wheatley
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
385
Who:
Wheatley
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
OW!
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
Tadah! Only the turret control center. Thank you very much.
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
Don't be a stranger!
Listens:
383
Who:
Defective Turret
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
Agghh!
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
381
Who:
Wheatley
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
That conversion gel has been sitting in that pipe going stagnant for years. You'll probably get botulism portalling through it like that.
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
OW...
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
378
Who:
Defective Turret
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
Did anything happen while I was out?
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can start testing. Just like old times.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then.
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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