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Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
395
Who:
GLaDOS
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
394
Who:
Core 2
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh, here we go... here it comes...
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
393
Who:
Wheatley
Yes? Something you need?
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
391
Who:
Wheatley
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
388
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
388
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
387
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
382
Who:
Defective Turret
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, what?
Listens:
381
Who:
Defective Turret
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
380
Who:
Defective Turret
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Tadah! Only the turret control center. Thank you very much.
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Blue is penalized
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
There it is.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no...
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
OW!
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
That was fun, wasn't it?
Listens:
373
Who:
Defective Turret
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Gah!
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Don't be a stranger!
Listens:
372
Who:
Defective Turret
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Turrets!
Listens:
371
Who:
Wheatley
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
371
Who:
Wheatley
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
What?
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
369
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey, safe travels, there.
Listens:
369
Who:
Defective Turret
Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
You might want to notice the moat area... rather large. Not to mention deadly. [laughs]
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then.
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
OW...
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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