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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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I am!
Listens:
1334
Who:
Caroline
Blah.
Listens:
1331
Who:
GLaDOS
I give you a score of 3.4 for style and 10 for being annoying.
Listens:
1331
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, alright, okay. This is getting tiresome. I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do. I know I have. You've proven you can break screens. Proven. Factual. Well done. Good. Aren't you little miss clever. Little miss smashy-smash.
Listens:
1331
Who:
Wheatley
You really aren't getting tired of that, are you?
Listens:
1330
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, in the end, yes, they let me go. It's all politics, to be honest. It's a big popularity contest, it's all about who you know, and whose back you're willing to scratch, who doesn't touch -- or, in my case, who did accidentally touch -- the neurotoxin button.
Listens:
1330
Who:
Wheatley
Very impressive! Because this message is prerecorded, any comments we may make about your success are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
1329
Who:
GLaDOS
Shootin' blanks every time, ALL the time.
Listens:
1327
Who:
Defective Turret
Please put me down
Listens:
1325
Who:
Turret
You should see yourselves right now.
Listens:
1323
Who:
GLaDOS
Without the looming consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
1320
Who:
GLaDOS
Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
Listens:
1318
Who:
GLaDOS
Space!
Listens:
1317
Who:
Core 1
The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
1316
Who:
GLaDOS
Please return to the core transfer bay.
Listens:
1315
Who:
Announcer
Test chamber completed. In the interest of science, the Enrichment Center proudly presents the following list of numbers: Nine. Seven. Fifty. Three. Seven hundred and seven.
Listens:
1314
Who:
GLaDOS
AHH!
Listens:
1312
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh I know! I know I know I know I know I know - let's go to space!
Listens:
1307
Who:
Core 1
Hey, a countdown clock! Man, that is trouble. Situation's looking pretty ugly. For such a beautiful woman. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
1306
Who:
Core 2
Oh oh oh oh. Wait wait. Wait I know. I know. I know wait. Space.
Listens:
1298
Who:
Core 1
Oh there goes another one. They're not Inexpensive. I'd just like to point that out. It seems unfair to smash screens. You could give them to people. Instead of smashing them, unscrew them and give them to a homeless person. I don't know what a homeless person would do with one. But you get my point. And you can't unscrew them, they're bolted in. But - just stop it!
Listens:
1298
Who:
Wheatley
Substitute core accepted.
Listens:
1297
Who:
Announcer
Get dirty with this robot! This robot owes you money! This robot owes! You! Money!
Listens:
1291
Who:
Core 2
I'm done.
Listens:
1290
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.
Listens:
1289
Who:
GLaDOS
ahhhhEHHHHHH!
Listens:
1286
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home.
Listens:
1285
Who:
Core 1
The plural of surgeon general is surgeons general. The past tense of surgeons general is surgeonsed general.
Listens:
1285
Who:
Core 3
Hello?
Listens:
1285
Who:
Turret
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1284
Who:
Core 1
Ah, crap.
Listens:
1283
Who:
Defective Turret
You win.
Listens:
1282
Who:
GLaDOS
Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis.
Listens:
1281
Who:
Core 3
I think I hear the bird! Pick me up!
Listens:
1276
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again, this testing course was originally created for humans.
Listens:
1274
Who:
GLaDOS
By completing all test courses, you have achieved Level C security clearance. You may now access all testing courses and three of Aperture Science's 176 restrooms.
Listens:
1269
Who:
Announcer
Just hang in there for five more - What? Jerry, you can't fire me for that! Yes, JERRY -- OR, maybe your prejudiced worksite should have accommodated a nanobot of my size. Thanks for the hate crime, Jer!
Listens:
1269
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Button.
Listens:
1266
Who:
Wheatley
Oh!
Listens:
1265
Who:
Turret
Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1261
Who:
Announcer
Do either of you feel like laughing?
Listens:
1259
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him.
Listens:
1259
Who:
GLaDOS
Error. Error. Error. File not found.
Listens:
1258
Who:
Core 3
Well, I'm back. The Aerial Faith Plate in here is sending a distress signal.
Listens:
1258
Who:
GLaDOS
Space...
Listens:
1256
Who:
Core 1
Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency.
Listens:
1255
Who:
Announcer
To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy.
Listens:
1254
Who:
Announcer
[laugh trailing off] Actually, why do we have to leave right now?
Listens:
1247
Who:
Wheatley
Malfunctioning
Listens:
1245
Who:
Turret
To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle.
Listens:
1243
Who:
Announcer
My fault
Listens:
1241
Who:
Turret
You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their existences to exacting revenge.
Listens:
1240
Who:
GLaDOS
Per our last conversation: You're also ugly. I'm looking at your file right now, and it mentions that more than once.
Listens:
1240
Who:
GLaDOS
So twisty you might even call it spinning. MOO HOO HA HA HA Ignore the laughter. Nothing to worry about.
Listens:
1238
Who:
Wheatley
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
1237
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember that!
Listens:
1236
Who:
Turret
Hello?
Listens:
1235
Who:
Wheatley
That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?
Listens:
1231
Who:
Cave Johnson
I’m shocked you’d say that, Blue. If you killed your partner the test—I’m sorry. Wrong feed. Carry on, Orange. Good work.
Listens:
1230
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
1230
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1229
Who:
Core 1
Electrocution, shot, drowned, crushed, burned in goo.
Listens:
1227
Who:
GLaDOS
We will both die because of your negligence.
Listens:
1225
Who:
Core 3
Template missing. Continuing from memory.
Listens:
1223
Who:
Announcer
Oh, look. There's a deer! You probably can't see it. Get closer.
Listens:
1223
Who:
GLaDOS
Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.
Listens:
1222
Who:
Core 3
Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?
Listens:
1222
Who:
Wheatley
Just stop flailing around like an incompetent.
Listens:
1221
Who:
GLaDOS
To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror.
Listens:
1218
Who:
Core 3
Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas.
Listens:
1215
Who:
GLaDOS
Orbit. Space orbit. In my spacesuit.
Listens:
1213
Who:
Core 1
Take me with you...
Listens:
1212
Who:
Turret
Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis.
Listens:
1209
Who:
GLaDOS
Touche, young lady, touche.
Listens:
1209
Who:
Defective Turret
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
1208
Who:
Wheatley
There's a thousand tests performed every day here in our enrichment spheres. I can't personally oversee every one of them, so these pre-recorded messages'll cover any questions you might have, and respond to any incidents that may occur in the course of your science adventure.
Listens:
1207
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hah! It bloody worked! I hacked it! Hacked. Properly. Properly hacked. Ha ha ha!
Listens:
1206
Who:
Wheatley
It says this next test was designed by one of Aperture's Nobel prize winners. It doesn't say what the prize was for. Well, I know it wasn't for Being Immune To Neurotoxin.
Listens:
1205
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Paradox time.
Listens:
1202
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Here we go...
Listens:
1202
Who:
Wheatley
I’m afraid of heights!
Listens:
1202
Who:
Turret
Oh! You came back! Didn't actually plan... for that. Can't actually reset the death trap. So. Ah. Could you jump into that pit, there? Would you just jump into that pit for me?
Listens:
1201
Who:
Wheatley
Dang! All right, if anyone asks, I killed you.
Listens:
1201
Who:
Defective Turret
The end?
Listens:
1196
Who:
GLaDOS
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
1193
Who:
Cave Johnson
Crap!
Listens:
1192
Who:
Defective Turret
Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?
Listens:
1188
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fine!
Listens:
1186
Who:
Turret
No, seriously. Do come back. Come back, please.
Listens:
1183
Who:
Wheatley
That's all I can say.
Listens:
1182
Who:
Turret
Nobody cares, four eyes.
Listens:
1181
Who:
Core 2
The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
Listens:
1177
Who:
Core 3
Look out! I'm right behind you! No, of course I'm not. Saw through that too. Forty feet tall, right in front of you. Not my greatest ruse. To be honest. Still a giant robot, though.
Listens:
1177
Who:
Wheatley
You can also feel free to relax for up to 20 minutes in the waiting room, which is a damn sight more comfortable than the park benches most of you were sleeping on when we found you.
Listens:
1176
Who:
Cave Johnson
What, exactly, is wrong with being adopted?
Listens:
1176
Who:
GLaDOS
Woooaaah!
Listens:
1176
Who:
Turret
I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
Listens:
1175
Who:
GLaDOS
Please stop.
Listens:
1175
Who:
Turret
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!
Listens:
1170
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going to space.
Listens:
1162
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
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