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Portal 2
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Blah.
Listens:
1285
Who:
GLaDOS
You should see yourselves right now.
Listens:
1284
Who:
GLaDOS
Without the looming consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
1281
Who:
GLaDOS
Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
Listens:
1280
Who:
GLaDOS
Space!
Listens:
1278
Who:
Core 1
Oh I know! I know I know I know I know I know - let's go to space!
Listens:
1278
Who:
Core 1
Hey, a countdown clock! Man, that is trouble. Situation's looking pretty ugly. For such a beautiful woman. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
1275
Who:
Core 2
Yes, alright, okay. This is getting tiresome. I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do. I know I have. You've proven you can break screens. Proven. Factual. Well done. Good. Aren't you little miss clever. Little miss smashy-smash.
Listens:
1272
Who:
Wheatley
Oh oh oh oh. Wait wait. Wait I know. I know. I know wait. Space.
Listens:
1271
Who:
Core 1
Good news. I figured out what to do with all the money I save recycling your one roomful of air. When you die, I'm going to laminate your skeleton and pose you in the lobby. That way future generations can learn from you how not to have your unfortunate bone structure.
Listens:
1271
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Anyone in there?
Listens:
1271
Who:
Wheatley
I'm not defective!
Listens:
1267
Who:
Defective Turret
The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
1266
Who:
GLaDOS
Get dirty with this robot! This robot owes you money! This robot owes! You! Money!
Listens:
1265
Who:
Core 2
Please return to the core transfer bay.
Listens:
1264
Who:
Announcer
Impersonating a stalemate associate. I just added that to the list. It's a list I made of all the things you've done. Well, it's a list that I AM making, because you're still doing things right now, even though I'm telling you to stop. Stop, by the way.
Listens:
1264
Who:
GLaDOS
Test chamber completed. In the interest of science, the Enrichment Center proudly presents the following list of numbers: Nine. Seven. Fifty. Three. Seven hundred and seven.
Listens:
1263
Who:
GLaDOS
There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it.
Listens:
1251
Who:
Announcer
Very impressive! Because this message is prerecorded, any comments we may make about your success are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
1251
Who:
GLaDOS
AHH!
Listens:
1251
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm done.
Listens:
1250
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh there goes another one. They're not Inexpensive. I'd just like to point that out. It seems unfair to smash screens. You could give them to people. Instead of smashing them, unscrew them and give them to a homeless person. I don't know what a homeless person would do with one. But you get my point. And you can't unscrew them, they're bolted in. But - just stop it!
Listens:
1250
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home.
Listens:
1249
Who:
Core 1
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1247
Who:
Core 1
I think I hear the bird! Pick me up!
Listens:
1242
Who:
GLaDOS
Please put me down
Listens:
1241
Who:
Turret
Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis.
Listens:
1240
Who:
Core 3
Ah, crap.
Listens:
1240
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello?
Listens:
1240
Who:
Turret
Hello again, this testing course was originally created for humans.
Listens:
1236
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.
Listens:
1230
Who:
GLaDOS
Do either of you feel like laughing?
Listens:
1226
Who:
GLaDOS
Error. Error. Error. File not found.
Listens:
1221
Who:
Core 3
Substitute core accepted.
Listens:
1218
Who:
Announcer
Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him.
Listens:
1214
Who:
GLaDOS
So twisty you might even call it spinning. MOO HOO HA HA HA Ignore the laughter. Nothing to worry about.
Listens:
1210
Who:
Wheatley
Space...
Listens:
1209
Who:
Core 1
The plural of surgeon general is surgeons general. The past tense of surgeons general is surgeonsed general.
Listens:
1205
Who:
Core 3
Just hang in there for five more - What? Jerry, you can't fire me for that! Yes, JERRY -- OR, maybe your prejudiced worksite should have accommodated a nanobot of my size. Thanks for the hate crime, Jer!
Listens:
1204
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Button.
Listens:
1203
Who:
Wheatley
Malfunctioning
Listens:
1203
Who:
Turret
By completing all test courses, you have achieved Level C security clearance. You may now access all testing courses and three of Aperture Science's 176 restrooms.
Listens:
1202
Who:
Announcer
You win.
Listens:
1202
Who:
GLaDOS
Per our last conversation: You're also ugly. I'm looking at your file right now, and it mentions that more than once.
Listens:
1202
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember that!
Listens:
1202
Who:
Turret
ahhhhEHHHHHH!
Listens:
1200
Who:
Wheatley
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1198
Who:
Core 1
Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?
Listens:
1198
Who:
Wheatley
My fault
Listens:
1197
Who:
Turret
To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy.
Listens:
1196
Who:
Announcer
Hello?
Listens:
1195
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh trailing off] Actually, why do we have to leave right now?
Listens:
1195
Who:
Wheatley
Oh!
Listens:
1194
Who:
Turret
Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.
Listens:
1193
Who:
Core 3
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
1193
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m shocked you’d say that, Blue. If you killed your partner the test—I’m sorry. Wrong feed. Carry on, Orange. Good work.
Listens:
1191
Who:
GLaDOS
We will both die because of your negligence.
Listens:
1188
Who:
Core 3
Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1187
Who:
Announcer
Electrocution, shot, drowned, crushed, burned in goo.
Listens:
1186
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop flailing around like an incompetent.
Listens:
1184
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, look. There's a deer! You probably can't see it. Get closer.
Listens:
1184
Who:
GLaDOS
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
1183
Who:
GLaDOS
Touche, young lady, touche.
Listens:
1178
Who:
Defective Turret
You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their existences to exacting revenge.
Listens:
1176
Who:
GLaDOS
To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror.
Listens:
1175
Who:
Core 3
Take me with you...
Listens:
1174
Who:
Turret
To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle.
Listens:
1172
Who:
Announcer
Orbit. Space orbit. In my spacesuit.
Listens:
1170
Who:
Core 1
That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?
Listens:
1169
Who:
Cave Johnson
Well, I'm back. The Aerial Faith Plate in here is sending a distress signal.
Listens:
1168
Who:
GLaDOS
Hah! It bloody worked! I hacked it! Hacked. Properly. Properly hacked. Ha ha ha!
Listens:
1168
Who:
Wheatley
Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency.
Listens:
1160
Who:
Announcer
Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis.
Listens:
1160
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Here we go...
Listens:
1160
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! You came back! Didn't actually plan... for that. Can't actually reset the death trap. So. Ah. Could you jump into that pit, there? Would you just jump into that pit for me?
Listens:
1160
Who:
Wheatley
Dang! All right, if anyone asks, I killed you.
Listens:
1159
Who:
Defective Turret
Nobody cares, four eyes.
Listens:
1158
Who:
Core 2
Template missing. Continuing from memory.
Listens:
1157
Who:
Announcer
That's all I can say.
Listens:
1157
Who:
Turret
I’m afraid of heights!
Listens:
1157
Who:
Turret
The end?
Listens:
1156
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Paradox time.
Listens:
1156
Who:
GLaDOS
Crap!
Listens:
1153
Who:
Defective Turret
Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?
Listens:
1151
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fine!
Listens:
1150
Who:
Turret
It says this next test was designed by one of Aperture's Nobel prize winners. It doesn't say what the prize was for. Well, I know it wasn't for Being Immune To Neurotoxin.
Listens:
1145
Who:
GLaDOS
No, seriously. Do come back. Come back, please.
Listens:
1140
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
Listens:
1136
Who:
Core 3
Look out! I'm right behind you! No, of course I'm not. Saw through that too. Forty feet tall, right in front of you. Not my greatest ruse. To be honest. Still a giant robot, though.
Listens:
1133
Who:
Wheatley
There's a thousand tests performed every day here in our enrichment spheres. I can't personally oversee every one of them, so these pre-recorded messages'll cover any questions you might have, and respond to any incidents that may occur in the course of your science adventure.
Listens:
1131
Who:
Cave Johnson
Woooaaah!
Listens:
1131
Who:
Turret
I'm going to space.
Listens:
1129
Who:
Core 1
What, exactly, is wrong with being adopted?
Listens:
1127
Who:
GLaDOS
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
1125
Who:
Cave Johnson
Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
Listens:
1125
Who:
Core 3
Please stop.
Listens:
1125
Who:
Turret
Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas.
Listens:
1122
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!
Listens:
1122
Who:
Wheatley
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
1121
Who:
Wheatley
I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
Listens:
1120
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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