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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
Listens:
18883
Who:
Core 1
One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
18636
Who:
GLaDOS
The Space Sphere will never go to space.
Listens:
18170
Who:
Core 3
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
17128
Who:
Core 2
OW! You stabbed me! What is WRONG with yo-WhoOOAAahhh. Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. The gun must be part magnesium... It feels like I'm outputting an extra half a volt. Keep an eye on me: I'm going to do some scheming. Here I g-[BZZZ!]
Listens:
15853
Who:
GLaDOS
I am NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
15809
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no! nonononono!
Listens:
14566
Who:
Wheatley
I hate you so much.
Listens:
14141
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
14096
Who:
Turret
Critical error
Listens:
13793
Who:
Turret
I don't hate you
Listens:
13236
Who:
Turret
Hello. Hello. Hell-- Aw, crap...
Listens:
13089
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello!
Listens:
12845
Who:
Turret
YEEEHAAAAAW!
Listens:
12464
Who:
Core 1
This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]
Listens:
12114
Who:
Announcer
YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!
Listens:
11802
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at you. Sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.
Listens:
11346
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.
Listens:
11109
Who:
GLaDOS
Good!
Listens:
10834
Who:
Announcer
Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I'll be honest, we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out.
Listens:
10685
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hello?
Listens:
10645
Who:
Turret
Good morning. You have been in suspension for -FIFTY- days. In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.
Listens:
10499
Who:
Announcer
Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
Listens:
10187
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
9969
Who:
Wheatley
Target acquired.
Listens:
9964
Who:
Turret
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
9536
Who:
Caroline
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Listens:
9441
Who:
GLaDOS
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
9365
Who:
Announcer
I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space.
Listens:
9342
Who:
GLaDOS
The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.
Listens:
9139
Who:
Core 3
It's not like I've got hordes of replacement monitors just lying around back here in the old warehouse that I can just wheel out an bolt back on. I didn't order in loads of spare monitors thinking some crazy woman was going to go around smashing them all. Sorry if that's my fault. Sorry if I didn't have the forethought to think oh she might go crazy one day instead of just getting on with things. Sorry I didn't think of that.
Listens:
9116
Who:
Wheatley
Goodbye
Listens:
8849
Who:
Turret
Mr. Johnson, I don't want this.
Listens:
8824
Who:
Caroline
Reactor Explosion Uncertainty Emergency Preemption Protocol initiated: This facility will self destruct in two minutes.
Listens:
8800
Who:
Announcer
Wheeeeee-OHNO!
Listens:
8790
Who:
Turret
Well, well, well. Welcome to MY LAIR! Lemme just flag something up: According to the control panel light up there, the entire building's going to self destruct in about six minutes. Pretty sure it's a problem with the light. I think the light's on the blink. But just in case it isn't, I actually am going to have to kill you. As discussed earlier.
Listens:
8681
Who:
Wheatley
Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt--
Listens:
8567
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oooh! Ooh! Hi hi hi hi hi. Where we going? Where we going? Hey. Lady. Where we going? Where we going? Let's go to space!
Listens:
8432
Who:
Core 1
Warning: Core corruption at 50 percent.
Listens:
8405
Who:
Announcer
Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!
Listens:
8152
Who:
GLaDOS
I AM NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
8127
Who:
Wheatley
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
8107
Who:
GLaDOS
I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME.
Listens:
8081
Who:
GLaDOS
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?
Listens:
7837
Who:
Core 2
Is anyone there?
Listens:
7781
Who:
Turret
Today's Security Code is: 5,33,41,18
Listens:
7737
Who:
Announcer
Alright. So that last test was... seriously disappointing. Apparently being civil isn't motivating you. So let's try things her way... fatty. Adopted fatty. Fatty fatty no-parents.
Listens:
7714
Who:
Wheatley
*cough cough* Pressthebutton.
Listens:
7651
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, this next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So, word of advice: If you meet yourself on the testing track, don't make eye contact. Lab boys tell me that'll wipe out time. Entirely. Forward and backward! So do both of yourselves a favor and just let that handsome devil go about his business.
Listens:
7617
Who:
Cave Johnson
[gentle laughter] It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
7598
Who:
GLaDOS
No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I literally do not have the energy to lie to you.
Listens:
7588
Who:
GLaDOS
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
7558
Who:
Wheatley
Space...
Listens:
7515
Who:
Core 1
Agggh! I'm on fire!
Listens:
7353
Who:
Defective Turret
What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
Listens:
7343
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
7313
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
7192
Who:
Wheatley
PART FIVE! BOOBYTRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!
Listens:
7176
Who:
Wheatley
I'm speaking in an accent that is beyond her range of hearing...
Listens:
7119
Who:
Wheatley
AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl-- ummm... good. Looking good, actually.
Listens:
7066
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, did you bring your little portal gun? Nothing to portal onto here, luv. Just ten pounds of dead weight. About to be two hundred and ten. Fatty.
Listens:
7029
Who:
Wheatley
Nonononononono!
Listens:
6970
Who:
Defective Turret
I thought we could test like we used to. But I'm discovering things about you that I never saw before. We can't ever go back to the way it was.
Listens:
6891
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing.
Listens:
6855
Who:
Defective Turret
Warning: Core corruption at 100 percent.
Listens:
6818
Who:
Announcer
It's your old friend, deadly neurotoxin. If I were you, I'd take a deep breath. And hold it.
Listens:
6781
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Good news! [electic pop] Nevermind.
Listens:
6740
Who:
Wheatley
It's too big. Too big. Wanna go home. Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
6658
Who:
Core 1
Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava.
Listens:
6631
Who:
Core 3
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6601
Who:
Cave Johnson
Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
Listens:
6583
Who:
GLaDOS
What, are you still alive? You are joking. You have got be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE.
Listens:
6523
Who:
Wheatley
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
6477
Who:
Turret
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Listens:
6461
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome to the enrichment center. [cough]
Listens:
6402
Who:
Cave Johnson
clickclickclick
Listens:
6348
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello?
Listens:
6300
Who:
Turret
Getting bored of space.
Listens:
6246
Who:
Core 1
For god's sake, you're BOXES with LEGS! It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?
Listens:
6209
Who:
Wheatley
Surprise.
Listens:
6186
Who:
GLaDOS
Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.
Listens:
6168
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh, you are kidding me.
Listens:
6157
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Listens:
6090
Who:
GLaDOS
SURPRISE! We're doing it NOW!
Listens:
6061
Who:
Wheatley
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
6037
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodnight
Listens:
5945
Who:
Turret
That's right. A potato just called your eyes fat.
Listens:
5939
Who:
GLaDOS
[Laughter]
Listens:
5913
Who:
GLaDOS
At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
Listens:
5900
Who:
Core 3
You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
Listens:
5897
Who:
Announcer
[fast gibberish]
Listens:
5882
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhhhhh. 'FALSE'. I'll go 'false'.
Listens:
5791
Who:
Wheatley
I don't understand!
Listens:
5746
Who:
Turret
There's nothing in space! That's why it's space!
Listens:
5729
Who:
Core 2
Say goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
5715
Who:
Cave Johnson
Alalalawl
Listens:
5710
Who:
Turret
Stop it!
Listens:
5606
Who:
GLaDOS
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
5591
Who:
Core 1
Could a MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT? Huh? Could a moron do THAT?
Listens:
5576
Who:
Wheatley
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Listens:
5544
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
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