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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
Listens:
18923
Who:
Core 1
One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
18667
Who:
GLaDOS
The Space Sphere will never go to space.
Listens:
18187
Who:
Core 3
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
17147
Who:
Core 2
OW! You stabbed me! What is WRONG with yo-WhoOOAAahhh. Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. The gun must be part magnesium... It feels like I'm outputting an extra half a volt. Keep an eye on me: I'm going to do some scheming. Here I g-[BZZZ!]
Listens:
15904
Who:
GLaDOS
I am NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
15893
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no! nonononono!
Listens:
14592
Who:
Wheatley
I hate you so much.
Listens:
14194
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
14125
Who:
Turret
Critical error
Listens:
13866
Who:
Turret
I don't hate you
Listens:
13279
Who:
Turret
Hello. Hello. Hell-- Aw, crap...
Listens:
13130
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello!
Listens:
12882
Who:
Turret
YEEEHAAAAAW!
Listens:
12485
Who:
Core 1
This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]
Listens:
12178
Who:
Announcer
YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!
Listens:
11934
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at you. Sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.
Listens:
11392
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.
Listens:
11156
Who:
GLaDOS
Good!
Listens:
10845
Who:
Announcer
Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I'll be honest, we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out.
Listens:
10700
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hello?
Listens:
10657
Who:
Turret
Good morning. You have been in suspension for -FIFTY- days. In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.
Listens:
10538
Who:
Announcer
Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
Listens:
10247
Who:
Cave Johnson
Target acquired.
Listens:
10018
Who:
Turret
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
9984
Who:
Wheatley
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
9562
Who:
Caroline
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
9478
Who:
Announcer
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Listens:
9463
Who:
GLaDOS
I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space.
Listens:
9428
Who:
GLaDOS
The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.
Listens:
9189
Who:
Core 3
It's not like I've got hordes of replacement monitors just lying around back here in the old warehouse that I can just wheel out an bolt back on. I didn't order in loads of spare monitors thinking some crazy woman was going to go around smashing them all. Sorry if that's my fault. Sorry if I didn't have the forethought to think oh she might go crazy one day instead of just getting on with things. Sorry I didn't think of that.
Listens:
9138
Who:
Wheatley
Reactor Explosion Uncertainty Emergency Preemption Protocol initiated: This facility will self destruct in two minutes.
Listens:
8902
Who:
Announcer
Goodbye
Listens:
8900
Who:
Turret
Mr. Johnson, I don't want this.
Listens:
8848
Who:
Caroline
Wheeeeee-OHNO!
Listens:
8820
Who:
Turret
Well, well, well. Welcome to MY LAIR! Lemme just flag something up: According to the control panel light up there, the entire building's going to self destruct in about six minutes. Pretty sure it's a problem with the light. I think the light's on the blink. But just in case it isn't, I actually am going to have to kill you. As discussed earlier.
Listens:
8736
Who:
Wheatley
Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt--
Listens:
8617
Who:
Cave Johnson
Warning: Core corruption at 50 percent.
Listens:
8466
Who:
Announcer
Oooh! Ooh! Hi hi hi hi hi. Where we going? Where we going? Hey. Lady. Where we going? Where we going? Let's go to space!
Listens:
8440
Who:
Core 1
I AM NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
8256
Who:
Wheatley
Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!
Listens:
8203
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
8191
Who:
GLaDOS
I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME.
Listens:
8093
Who:
GLaDOS
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?
Listens:
7845
Who:
Core 2
Alright. So that last test was... seriously disappointing. Apparently being civil isn't motivating you. So let's try things her way... fatty. Adopted fatty. Fatty fatty no-parents.
Listens:
7838
Who:
Wheatley
Is anyone there?
Listens:
7805
Who:
Turret
Today's Security Code is: 5,33,41,18
Listens:
7788
Who:
Announcer
*cough cough* Pressthebutton.
Listens:
7669
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, this next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So, word of advice: If you meet yourself on the testing track, don't make eye contact. Lab boys tell me that'll wipe out time. Entirely. Forward and backward! So do both of yourselves a favor and just let that handsome devil go about his business.
Listens:
7643
Who:
Cave Johnson
No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I literally do not have the energy to lie to you.
Listens:
7619
Who:
GLaDOS
[gentle laughter] It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
7615
Who:
GLaDOS
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
7584
Who:
Wheatley
Space...
Listens:
7525
Who:
Core 1
Agggh! I'm on fire!
Listens:
7365
Who:
Defective Turret
What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
Listens:
7351
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
7327
Who:
GLaDOS
PART FIVE! BOOBYTRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!
Listens:
7255
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
7219
Who:
Wheatley
I'm speaking in an accent that is beyond her range of hearing...
Listens:
7147
Who:
Wheatley
AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl-- ummm... good. Looking good, actually.
Listens:
7071
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, did you bring your little portal gun? Nothing to portal onto here, luv. Just ten pounds of dead weight. About to be two hundred and ten. Fatty.
Listens:
7051
Who:
Wheatley
Nonononononono!
Listens:
6975
Who:
Defective Turret
I thought we could test like we used to. But I'm discovering things about you that I never saw before. We can't ever go back to the way it was.
Listens:
6894
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing.
Listens:
6871
Who:
Defective Turret
Warning: Core corruption at 100 percent.
Listens:
6853
Who:
Announcer
It's your old friend, deadly neurotoxin. If I were you, I'd take a deep breath. And hold it.
Listens:
6831
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Good news! [electic pop] Nevermind.
Listens:
6746
Who:
Wheatley
It's too big. Too big. Wanna go home. Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
6676
Who:
Core 1
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6645
Who:
Cave Johnson
Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava.
Listens:
6645
Who:
Core 3
Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
Listens:
6611
Who:
GLaDOS
What, are you still alive? You are joking. You have got be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE.
Listens:
6554
Who:
Wheatley
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Listens:
6511
Who:
GLaDOS
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
6496
Who:
Turret
Welcome to the enrichment center. [cough]
Listens:
6412
Who:
Cave Johnson
clickclickclick
Listens:
6356
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello?
Listens:
6305
Who:
Turret
Getting bored of space.
Listens:
6254
Who:
Core 1
For god's sake, you're BOXES with LEGS! It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?
Listens:
6227
Who:
Wheatley
Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.
Listens:
6222
Who:
Cave Johnson
Surprise.
Listens:
6205
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, you are kidding me.
Listens:
6171
Who:
GLaDOS
SURPRISE! We're doing it NOW!
Listens:
6124
Who:
Wheatley
Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Listens:
6109
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
6062
Who:
GLaDOS
That's right. A potato just called your eyes fat.
Listens:
5961
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodnight
Listens:
5955
Who:
Turret
[Laughter]
Listens:
5923
Who:
GLaDOS
You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
Listens:
5917
Who:
Announcer
At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
Listens:
5914
Who:
Core 3
[fast gibberish]
Listens:
5897
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhhhhh. 'FALSE'. I'll go 'false'.
Listens:
5828
Who:
Wheatley
I don't understand!
Listens:
5753
Who:
Turret
There's nothing in space! That's why it's space!
Listens:
5736
Who:
Core 2
Say goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
5727
Who:
Cave Johnson
Alalalawl
Listens:
5719
Who:
Turret
Stop it!
Listens:
5619
Who:
GLaDOS
Could a MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT? Huh? Could a moron do THAT?
Listens:
5602
Who:
Wheatley
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
5597
Who:
Core 1
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Listens:
5567
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
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