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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature.
Listens:
16569
Who:
Announcer
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
16499
Who:
Core 2
SHUT UP!
Listens:
15992
Who:
Wheatley
Warning: Core overheating. Nuclear meltdown imminent.
Listens:
15328
Who:
Announcer
OW! You stabbed me! What is WRONG with yo-WhoOOAAahhh. Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. The gun must be part magnesium... It feels like I'm outputting an extra half a volt. Keep an eye on me: I'm going to do some scheming. Here I g-[BZZZ!]
Listens:
14397
Who:
GLaDOS
I am NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
13576
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no! nonononono!
Listens:
13353
Who:
Wheatley
Shutting down
Listens:
12974
Who:
Turret
I don't hate you
Listens:
12189
Who:
Turret
Hello. Hello. Hell-- Aw, crap...
Listens:
11867
Who:
Defective Turret
YEEEHAAAAAW!
Listens:
11820
Who:
Core 1
I hate you so much.
Listens:
11778
Who:
GLaDOS
Critical error
Listens:
11713
Who:
Turret
Hello!
Listens:
11495
Who:
Turret
This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]
Listens:
10443
Who:
Announcer
This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.
Listens:
10368
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at you. Sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.
Listens:
10211
Who:
GLaDOS
Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I'll be honest, we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out.
Listens:
10039
Who:
Cave Johnson
Good!
Listens:
9960
Who:
Announcer
Hello?
Listens:
9666
Who:
Turret
Good morning. You have been in suspension for -FIFTY- days. In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.
Listens:
9233
Who:
Announcer
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
9074
Who:
Wheatley
YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!
Listens:
9032
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
8882
Who:
Caroline
Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
Listens:
8761
Who:
Cave Johnson
Target acquired.
Listens:
8588
Who:
Turret
It's not like I've got hordes of replacement monitors just lying around back here in the old warehouse that I can just wheel out an bolt back on. I didn't order in loads of spare monitors thinking some crazy woman was going to go around smashing them all. Sorry if that's my fault. Sorry if I didn't have the forethought to think oh she might go crazy one day instead of just getting on with things. Sorry I didn't think of that.
Listens:
8544
Who:
Wheatley
The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.
Listens:
8388
Who:
Core 3
Mr. Johnson, I don't want this.
Listens:
8044
Who:
Caroline
Oooh! Ooh! Hi hi hi hi hi. Where we going? Where we going? Hey. Lady. Where we going? Where we going? Let's go to space!
Listens:
8011
Who:
Core 1
Wheeeeee-OHNO!
Listens:
7845
Who:
Turret
I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space.
Listens:
7780
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Listens:
7757
Who:
GLaDOS
Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt--
Listens:
7430
Who:
Cave Johnson
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?
Listens:
7414
Who:
Core 2
Goodbye
Listens:
7362
Who:
Turret
Well, well, well. Welcome to MY LAIR! Lemme just flag something up: According to the control panel light up there, the entire building's going to self destruct in about six minutes. Pretty sure it's a problem with the light. I think the light's on the blink. But just in case it isn't, I actually am going to have to kill you. As discussed earlier.
Listens:
7129
Who:
Wheatley
Is anyone there?
Listens:
7098
Who:
Turret
Warning: Core corruption at 50 percent.
Listens:
7033
Who:
Announcer
*cough cough* Pressthebutton.
Listens:
7002
Who:
Wheatley
I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME.
Listens:
6933
Who:
GLaDOS
Space...
Listens:
6890
Who:
Core 1
I AM NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
6841
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, this next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So, word of advice: If you meet yourself on the testing track, don't make eye contact. Lab boys tell me that'll wipe out time. Entirely. Forward and backward! So do both of yourselves a favor and just let that handsome devil go about his business.
Listens:
6754
Who:
Cave Johnson
Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!
Listens:
6738
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
Listens:
6647
Who:
GLaDOS
No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I literally do not have the energy to lie to you.
Listens:
6617
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh! I'm on fire!
Listens:
6613
Who:
Defective Turret
[gentle laughter] It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
6607
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought we could test like we used to. But I'm discovering things about you that I never saw before. We can't ever go back to the way it was.
Listens:
6596
Who:
GLaDOS
Reactor Explosion Uncertainty Emergency Preemption Protocol initiated: This facility will self destruct in two minutes.
Listens:
6560
Who:
Announcer
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
6432
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
6404
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, did you bring your little portal gun? Nothing to portal onto here, luv. Just ten pounds of dead weight. About to be two hundred and ten. Fatty.
Listens:
6361
Who:
Wheatley
Nonononononono!
Listens:
6346
Who:
Defective Turret
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
6335
Who:
Wheatley
Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing.
Listens:
6290
Who:
Defective Turret
AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl-- ummm... good. Looking good, actually.
Listens:
6280
Who:
Wheatley
I'm speaking in an accent that is beyond her range of hearing...
Listens:
6278
Who:
Wheatley
Today's Security Code is: 5,33,41,18
Listens:
6240
Who:
Announcer
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
6193
Who:
Announcer
It's too big. Too big. Wanna go home. Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
6188
Who:
Core 1
Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava.
Listens:
6165
Who:
Core 3
Hello!
Listens:
6089
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Good news! [electic pop] Nevermind.
Listens:
6051
Who:
Wheatley
Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
Listens:
5859
Who:
GLaDOS
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
5809
Who:
Turret
Getting bored of space.
Listens:
5802
Who:
Core 1
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
5775
Who:
Cave Johnson
Warning: Core corruption at 100 percent.
Listens:
5769
Who:
Announcer
Welcome to the enrichment center. [cough]
Listens:
5759
Who:
Cave Johnson
It's your old friend, deadly neurotoxin. If I were you, I'd take a deep breath. And hold it.
Listens:
5714
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
5697
Who:
Defective Turret
PART FIVE! BOOBYTRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!
Listens:
5680
Who:
Wheatley
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Listens:
5668
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
5665
Who:
Turret
For god's sake, you're BOXES with LEGS! It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?
Listens:
5627
Who:
Wheatley
Surprise.
Listens:
5604
Who:
GLaDOS
What, are you still alive? You are joking. You have got be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE.
Listens:
5550
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. So that last test was... seriously disappointing. Apparently being civil isn't motivating you. So let's try things her way... fatty. Adopted fatty. Fatty fatty no-parents.
Listens:
5497
Who:
Wheatley
There's nothing in space! That's why it's space!
Listens:
5453
Who:
Core 2
Goodnight
Listens:
5426
Who:
Turret
At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
Listens:
5416
Who:
Core 3
That's right. A potato just called your eyes fat.
Listens:
5411
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
5374
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Listens:
5346
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, you are kidding me.
Listens:
5328
Who:
GLaDOS
[Laughter]
Listens:
5318
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't understand!
Listens:
5285
Who:
Turret
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
5278
Who:
Core 1
You know what I hope's in space? Fire. I hope you go to space and catch on fire.
Listens:
5273
Who:
Core 2
Alalalawl
Listens:
5169
Who:
Turret
You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
Listens:
5168
Who:
Announcer
[fast gibberish]
Listens:
5106
Who:
GLaDOS
SURPRISE! We're doing it NOW!
Listens:
5094
Who:
Wheatley
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Listens:
5090
Who:
Core 1
Yeah!
Listens:
5055
Who:
GLaDOS
I think that one was about to say 'I love you.' They ARE sentient, of course. We just have a LOT of them.
Listens:
5054
Who:
GLaDOS
Say goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
5051
Who:
Cave Johnson
Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.
Listens:
5049
Who:
Cave Johnson
00:00 / 00:00
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