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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
Listens:
18993
Who:
Core 1
One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
18769
Who:
GLaDOS
The Space Sphere will never go to space.
Listens:
18223
Who:
Core 3
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
17178
Who:
Core 2
I am NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
16116
Who:
Wheatley
OW! You stabbed me! What is WRONG with yo-WhoOOAAahhh. Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. The gun must be part magnesium... It feels like I'm outputting an extra half a volt. Keep an eye on me: I'm going to do some scheming. Here I g-[BZZZ!]
Listens:
16008
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no! nonononono!
Listens:
14688
Who:
Wheatley
I hate you so much.
Listens:
14308
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
14202
Who:
Turret
Critical error
Listens:
14131
Who:
Turret
I don't hate you
Listens:
13362
Who:
Turret
Hello. Hello. Hell-- Aw, crap...
Listens:
13225
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello!
Listens:
12982
Who:
Turret
YEEEHAAAAAW!
Listens:
12523
Who:
Core 1
This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]
Listens:
12318
Who:
Announcer
YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!
Listens:
12171
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at you. Sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.
Listens:
11472
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.
Listens:
11232
Who:
GLaDOS
Good!
Listens:
10892
Who:
Announcer
Hello?
Listens:
10778
Who:
Turret
Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I'll be honest, we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out.
Listens:
10759
Who:
Cave Johnson
Good morning. You have been in suspension for -FIFTY- days. In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.
Listens:
10669
Who:
Announcer
Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
Listens:
10381
Who:
Cave Johnson
Target acquired.
Listens:
10139
Who:
Turret
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
10077
Who:
Wheatley
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
10008
Who:
Announcer
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
9603
Who:
Caroline
I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space.
Listens:
9603
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Listens:
9556
Who:
GLaDOS
The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.
Listens:
9271
Who:
Core 3
It's not like I've got hordes of replacement monitors just lying around back here in the old warehouse that I can just wheel out an bolt back on. I didn't order in loads of spare monitors thinking some crazy woman was going to go around smashing them all. Sorry if that's my fault. Sorry if I didn't have the forethought to think oh she might go crazy one day instead of just getting on with things. Sorry I didn't think of that.
Listens:
9200
Who:
Wheatley
Reactor Explosion Uncertainty Emergency Preemption Protocol initiated: This facility will self destruct in two minutes.
Listens:
9166
Who:
Announcer
Goodbye
Listens:
9051
Who:
Turret
Wheeeeee-OHNO!
Listens:
8925
Who:
Turret
Mr. Johnson, I don't want this.
Listens:
8916
Who:
Caroline
Well, well, well. Welcome to MY LAIR! Lemme just flag something up: According to the control panel light up there, the entire building's going to self destruct in about six minutes. Pretty sure it's a problem with the light. I think the light's on the blink. But just in case it isn't, I actually am going to have to kill you. As discussed earlier.
Listens:
8861
Who:
Wheatley
Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt--
Listens:
8681
Who:
Cave Johnson
Warning: Core corruption at 50 percent.
Listens:
8616
Who:
Announcer
Oooh! Ooh! Hi hi hi hi hi. Where we going? Where we going? Hey. Lady. Where we going? Where we going? Let's go to space!
Listens:
8455
Who:
Core 1
I AM NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
8436
Who:
Wheatley
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
8407
Who:
GLaDOS
Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!
Listens:
8300
Who:
GLaDOS
I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME.
Listens:
8135
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So that last test was... seriously disappointing. Apparently being civil isn't motivating you. So let's try things her way... fatty. Adopted fatty. Fatty fatty no-parents.
Listens:
8063
Who:
Wheatley
Today's Security Code is: 5,33,41,18
Listens:
7981
Who:
Announcer
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?
Listens:
7865
Who:
Core 2
Is anyone there?
Listens:
7833
Who:
Turret
*cough cough* Pressthebutton.
Listens:
7705
Who:
Wheatley
No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I literally do not have the energy to lie to you.
Listens:
7682
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, this next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So, word of advice: If you meet yourself on the testing track, don't make eye contact. Lab boys tell me that'll wipe out time. Entirely. Forward and backward! So do both of yourselves a favor and just let that handsome devil go about his business.
Listens:
7668
Who:
Cave Johnson
[gentle laughter] It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
7668
Who:
GLaDOS
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
7663
Who:
Wheatley
Space...
Listens:
7553
Who:
Core 1
PART FIVE! BOOBYTRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!
Listens:
7399
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh! I'm on fire!
Listens:
7385
Who:
Defective Turret
What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
Listens:
7373
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
7352
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
7302
Who:
Wheatley
I'm speaking in an accent that is beyond her range of hearing...
Listens:
7195
Who:
Wheatley
AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl-- ummm... good. Looking good, actually.
Listens:
7130
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, did you bring your little portal gun? Nothing to portal onto here, luv. Just ten pounds of dead weight. About to be two hundred and ten. Fatty.
Listens:
7093
Who:
Wheatley
Nonononononono!
Listens:
7004
Who:
Defective Turret
It's your old friend, deadly neurotoxin. If I were you, I'd take a deep breath. And hold it.
Listens:
6981
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning: Core corruption at 100 percent.
Listens:
6980
Who:
Announcer
I thought we could test like we used to. But I'm discovering things about you that I never saw before. We can't ever go back to the way it was.
Listens:
6906
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing.
Listens:
6899
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! Good news! [electic pop] Nevermind.
Listens:
6788
Who:
Wheatley
It's too big. Too big. Wanna go home. Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
6713
Who:
Core 1
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6687
Who:
Cave Johnson
Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava.
Listens:
6672
Who:
Core 3
Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
Listens:
6663
Who:
GLaDOS
What, are you still alive? You are joking. You have got be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE.
Listens:
6625
Who:
Wheatley
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Listens:
6569
Who:
GLaDOS
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
6557
Who:
Turret
Welcome to the enrichment center. [cough]
Listens:
6441
Who:
Cave Johnson
clickclickclick
Listens:
6378
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello?
Listens:
6327
Who:
Turret
Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.
Listens:
6325
Who:
Cave Johnson
Getting bored of space.
Listens:
6276
Who:
Core 1
For god's sake, you're BOXES with LEGS! It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?
Listens:
6272
Who:
Wheatley
SURPRISE! We're doing it NOW!
Listens:
6230
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, you are kidding me.
Listens:
6222
Who:
GLaDOS
Surprise.
Listens:
6220
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Listens:
6184
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
6094
Who:
GLaDOS
You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
Listens:
5999
Who:
Announcer
That's right. A potato just called your eyes fat.
Listens:
5983
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodnight
Listens:
5972
Who:
Turret
At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
Listens:
5953
Who:
Core 3
[Laughter]
Listens:
5942
Who:
GLaDOS
[fast gibberish]
Listens:
5934
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhhhhh. 'FALSE'. I'll go 'false'.
Listens:
5881
Who:
Wheatley
I don't understand!
Listens:
5813
Who:
Turret
Say goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
5758
Who:
Cave Johnson
Alalalawl
Listens:
5758
Who:
Turret
There's nothing in space! That's why it's space!
Listens:
5749
Who:
Core 2
Could a MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT? Huh? Could a moron do THAT?
Listens:
5657
Who:
Wheatley
Stop it!
Listens:
5635
Who:
GLaDOS
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
5612
Who:
Core 1
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Listens:
5607
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
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