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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
870
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, give 'em hell, sweetheart!
Listens:
870
Who:
Defective Turret
Searching
Listens:
868
Who:
Turret
Excuse me?
Listens:
867
Who:
Turret
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
866
Who:
Core 3
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
866
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult--why don't you just keep solving THIS test. Same one. And I can just... watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier.
Listens:
866
Who:
Wheatley
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
862
Who:
Turret
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
861
Who:
Core 2
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
860
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
857
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
857
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah!
Listens:
856
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
856
Who:
Wheatley
Hey!
Listens:
856
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
854
Who:
Core 1
While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
852
Who:
Core 3
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
851
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
851
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
851
Who:
Wheatley
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
850
Who:
Core 1
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
849
Who:
Wheatley
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
849
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
849
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
848
Who:
Wheatley
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
846
Who:
Defective Turret
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
840
Who:
Defective Turret
Lady.
Listens:
838
Who:
Core 1
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
837
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
836
Who:
Core 3
Oops.
Listens:
835
Who:
GLaDOS
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
834
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
834
Who:
GLaDOS
She was provoking you.
Listens:
834
Who:
Turret
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
832
Who:
Core 3
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
832
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
832
Who:
Wheatley
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
831
Who:
Wheatley
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
830
Who:
Turret
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
828
Who:
Defective Turret
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
824
Who:
Core 3
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
824
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
824
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
823
Who:
GLaDOS
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
823
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
822
Who:
Core 3
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
822
Who:
GLaDOS
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
821
Who:
Core 3
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
820
Who:
Wheatley
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
819
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
818
Who:
GLaDOS
Core transfer?
Listens:
817
Who:
GLaDOS
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
816
Who:
Core 2
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
816
Who:
GLaDOS
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
816
Who:
GLaDOS
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
816
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
813
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
811
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
810
Who:
Core 1
One
Listens:
810
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
809
Who:
Defective Turret
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
807
Who:
Core 3
Okay, I'm about to start hacking. It's a little more complicated than it looked from your side. It should take about ten minutes. Keep one eye on the door.
Listens:
807
Who:
Wheatley
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
806
Who:
Core 3
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
806
Who:
Wheatley
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
806
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah!
Listens:
805
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
805
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
805
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
804
Who:
Core 3
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
800
Who:
Defective Turret
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
797
Who:
Wheatley
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
797
Who:
Wheatley
OW.
Listens:
797
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
794
Who:
GLaDOS
I lied.
Listens:
793
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
793
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
788
Who:
Defective Turret
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
785
Who:
GLaDOS
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
785
Who:
Wheatley
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
784
Who:
Core 2
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
779
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press the button!
Listens:
779
Who:
Wheatley
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
778
Who:
GLaDOS
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
Briefly.
Listens:
776
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
776
Who:
GLaDOS
Good shot!
Listens:
775
Who:
Turret
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 3
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
773
Who:
Core 2
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
772
Who:
Core 3
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
772
Who:
Defective Turret
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
771
Who:
Core 3
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
771
Who:
Core 3
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
771
Who:
GLaDOS
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
771
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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