Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing.
Listens:
767
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
767
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press it! COME BACK!
Listens:
767
Who:
Wheatley
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
764
Who:
GLaDOS
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
763
Who:
Wheatley
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
760
Who:
Core 1
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
759
Who:
Wheatley
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
754
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
753
Who:
Core 3
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
753
Who:
GLaDOS
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
752
Who:
Core 3
Lady.
Listens:
751
Who:
Core 1
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
751
Who:
Core 2
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
751
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
751
Who:
Defective Turret
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
750
Who:
Core 2
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
750
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
747
Who:
GLaDOS
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
747
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
745
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
745
Who:
Defective Turret
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
744
Who:
GLaDOS
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
743
Who:
Turret
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
742
Who:
Core 3
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
742
Who:
Wheatley
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
739
Who:
Core 3
Do not press that button!
Listens:
738
Who:
Wheatley
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
737
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
737
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
736
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
736
Who:
GLaDOS
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
734
Who:
Core 3
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
734
Who:
Core 3
Oops.
Listens:
734
Who:
GLaDOS
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
733
Who:
GLaDOS
Core transfer?
Listens:
731
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
730
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
730
Who:
Wheatley
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
728
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
728
Who:
Defective Turret
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
727
Who:
Wheatley
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
726
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
725
Who:
GLaDOS
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
725
Who:
Defective Turret
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
724
Who:
Wheatley
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
723
Who:
GLaDOS
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
723
Who:
Wheatley
I lied.
Listens:
722
Who:
GLaDOS
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
Briefly.
Listens:
721
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
721
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
718
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
717
Who:
Core 3
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
716
Who:
Wheatley
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
716
Who:
Wheatley
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
715
Who:
Core 3
clickclickclick
Listens:
715
Who:
Defective Turret
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
715
Who:
Defective Turret
Fact not found.
Listens:
714
Who:
Core 3
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
714
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
714
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
710
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
708
Who:
Core 3
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
708
Who:
Wheatley
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
705
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
705
Who:
Wheatley
One
Listens:
703
Who:
GLaDOS
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
701
Who:
Core 3
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
699
Who:
GLaDOS
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
697
Who:
Turret
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
696
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
695
Who:
Defective Turret
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
694
Who:
Wheatley
I’m scared!
Listens:
694
Who:
Turret
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
691
Who:
Wheatley
Noted.
Listens:
691
Who:
Turret
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
690
Who:
Wheatley
Good shot!
Listens:
689
Who:
Turret
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
684
Who:
Core 2
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
684
Who:
Core 2
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
684
Who:
Defective Turret
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
683
Who:
Defective Turret
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
682
Who:
Core 3
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
682
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
682
Who:
Wheatley
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
681
Who:
Core 3
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
680
Who:
GLaDOS
Wow.
Listens:
680
Who:
GLaDOS
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
680
Who:
Turret
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
678
Who:
GLaDOS
All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
677
Who:
Core 2
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
677
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, I'm pulling you out.
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
OW.
Listens:
675
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Listens:
675
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
