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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
842
Who:
Core 3
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
842
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
842
Who:
Wheatley
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
841
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
840
Who:
GLaDOS
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
840
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
839
Who:
Core 1
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
838
Who:
GLaDOS
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
836
Who:
Wheatley
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
836
Who:
Defective Turret
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
835
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
835
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
833
Who:
Defective Turret
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
830
Who:
Core 1
NO!
Listens:
829
Who:
GLaDOS
She was provoking you.
Listens:
829
Who:
Turret
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
828
Who:
Core 2
Well, I tried.
Listens:
828
Who:
Defective Turret
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
824
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
824
Who:
Wheatley
Oops.
Listens:
823
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
821
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
820
Who:
Core 1
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
820
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
819
Who:
Defective Turret
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
817
Who:
Wheatley
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
816
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
816
Who:
Wheatley
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
816
Who:
Turret
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
815
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
814
Who:
Core 3
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
812
Who:
GLaDOS
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
812
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
811
Who:
Core 3
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
811
Who:
Core 3
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
811
Who:
GLaDOS
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
810
Who:
Wheatley
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
809
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
808
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
807
Who:
Core 1
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
807
Who:
Core 3
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
805
Who:
GLaDOS
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
804
Who:
Core 3
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
803
Who:
GLaDOS
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
802
Who:
Wheatley
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
800
Who:
Core 2
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
800
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
798
Who:
Core 3
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
797
Who:
Defective Turret
Core transfer?
Listens:
795
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
794
Who:
Defective Turret
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
793
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
791
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
790
Who:
Wheatley
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
788
Who:
Core 3
Yeah!
Listens:
788
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
786
Who:
Wheatley
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
785
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
785
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
784
Who:
Core 3
One
Listens:
783
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
781
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
781
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
780
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
780
Who:
Wheatley
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
780
Who:
Wheatley
I lied.
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
777
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
775
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
772
Who:
GLaDOS
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
772
Who:
Wheatley
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
771
Who:
Wheatley
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
769
Who:
Core 2
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
768
Who:
Core 3
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
768
Who:
Defective Turret
Briefly.
Listens:
766
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
765
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm about to start hacking. It's a little more complicated than it looked from your side. It should take about ten minutes. Keep one eye on the door.
Listens:
764
Who:
Wheatley
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
763
Who:
GLaDOS
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
762
Who:
GLaDOS
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
761
Who:
Core 3
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
760
Who:
Defective Turret
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
759
Who:
GLaDOS
Good shot!
Listens:
759
Who:
Turret
OW.
Listens:
758
Who:
Wheatley
Don't press the button!
Listens:
757
Who:
Wheatley
Fact not found.
Listens:
756
Who:
Core 3
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
755
Who:
Core 3
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
755
Who:
GLaDOS
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
755
Who:
Turret
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
754
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
751
Who:
GLaDOS
Miss you!
Listens:
751
Who:
GLaDOS
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
750
Who:
Wheatley
Wow.
Listens:
749
Who:
GLaDOS
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
748
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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