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Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
796
Who:
GLaDOS
Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing.
Listens:
794
Who:
GLaDOS
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
791
Who:
Core 3
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
791
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
791
Who:
Defective Turret
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
790
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
788
Who:
Defective Turret
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
785
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
783
Who:
Wheatley
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
779
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
778
Who:
Core 1
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
778
Who:
GLaDOS
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
777
Who:
Core 1
Oops.
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
777
Who:
Defective Turret
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
777
Who:
Turret
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
773
Who:
Core 3
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
773
Who:
Core 3
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
773
Who:
GLaDOS
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
773
Who:
Wheatley
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
773
Who:
Wheatley
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
771
Who:
Core 3
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
771
Who:
GLaDOS
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
771
Who:
Wheatley
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
769
Who:
Core 2
Yeah!
Listens:
769
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
767
Who:
Core 1
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
767
Who:
Core 2
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
766
Who:
Core 3
clickclickclick
Listens:
766
Who:
Defective Turret
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
764
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
763
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
761
Who:
GLaDOS
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
760
Who:
GLaDOS
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
758
Who:
Core 3
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
756
Who:
GLaDOS
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
755
Who:
GLaDOS
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
755
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
754
Who:
GLaDOS
Core transfer?
Listens:
753
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
753
Who:
Wheatley
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
752
Who:
Wheatley
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
751
Who:
Defective Turret
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
750
Who:
Core 3
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
749
Who:
Defective Turret
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
748
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
748
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
747
Who:
Defective Turret
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
745
Who:
GLaDOS
Briefly.
Listens:
744
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
744
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
743
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
743
Who:
Wheatley
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
743
Who:
Wheatley
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
739
Who:
Wheatley
One
Listens:
738
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
737
Who:
Core 3
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
737
Who:
GLaDOS
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
736
Who:
Core 3
I lied.
Listens:
735
Who:
GLaDOS
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
733
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
733
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
732
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
732
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
732
Who:
Wheatley
Fact not found.
Listens:
730
Who:
Core 3
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
730
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
729
Who:
Core 3
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
727
Who:
Core 2
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
727
Who:
Turret
I’m scared!
Listens:
724
Who:
Turret
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
722
Who:
Core 3
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
722
Who:
Defective Turret
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
721
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
720
Who:
GLaDOS
Noted.
Listens:
719
Who:
Turret
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
717
Who:
GLaDOS
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
717
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah!
Listens:
716
Who:
GLaDOS
Good shot!
Listens:
716
Who:
Turret
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
714
Who:
Wheatley
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
711
Who:
GLaDOS
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
709
Who:
Core 3
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
709
Who:
GLaDOS
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
709
Who:
GLaDOS
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
709
Who:
Defective Turret
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
708
Who:
Defective Turret
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
707
Who:
Core 3
Wow.
Listens:
707
Who:
GLaDOS
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
707
Who:
Wheatley
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
706
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
706
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
705
Who:
GLaDOS
All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?
Listens:
705
Who:
Wheatley
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
703
Who:
Wheatley
Can I get some bullets here? Anybody got bullets?
Listens:
703
Who:
Defective Turret
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
703
Who:
Turret
Miss you!
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
OW.
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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