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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
880
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
Listens:
879
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
877
Who:
Turret
Searching
Listens:
877
Who:
Turret
Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult--why don't you just keep solving THIS test. Same one. And I can just... watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier.
Listens:
876
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, give 'em hell, sweetheart!
Listens:
876
Who:
Defective Turret
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
874
Who:
Core 2
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
874
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
872
Who:
GLaDOS
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
871
Who:
Core 3
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
871
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
870
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey!
Listens:
869
Who:
Turret
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
868
Who:
Turret
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
864
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
864
Who:
Wheatley
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
863
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
859
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
859
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
859
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey.
Listens:
858
Who:
Core 1
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
858
Who:
Wheatley
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
856
Who:
Core 1
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
856
Who:
Wheatley
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
856
Who:
Wheatley
While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
855
Who:
Core 3
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
855
Who:
GLaDOS
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
854
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
853
Who:
GLaDOS
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
851
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
849
Who:
GLaDOS
Oops.
Listens:
847
Who:
GLaDOS
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
847
Who:
Defective Turret
Lady.
Listens:
845
Who:
Core 1
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
845
Who:
Core 3
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
844
Who:
Core 3
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
840
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm about to start hacking. It's a little more complicated than it looked from your side. It should take about ten minutes. Keep one eye on the door.
Listens:
840
Who:
Wheatley
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
839
Who:
GLaDOS
She was provoking you.
Listens:
839
Who:
Turret
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
838
Who:
GLaDOS
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
835
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
835
Who:
Defective Turret
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
835
Who:
Turret
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
832
Who:
Core 3
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
832
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
831
Who:
Core 3
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
831
Who:
GLaDOS
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
829
Who:
Core 3
Core transfer?
Listens:
829
Who:
GLaDOS
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
829
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
827
Who:
GLaDOS
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
827
Who:
Wheatley
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
826
Who:
GLaDOS
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
825
Who:
Core 2
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
825
Who:
Wheatley
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
823
Who:
Wheatley
One
Listens:
822
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
822
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
822
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
822
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
820
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
817
Who:
Core 1
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
817
Who:
Defective Turret
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
815
Who:
Core 3
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
815
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
815
Who:
GLaDOS
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
815
Who:
Defective Turret
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
814
Who:
Core 3
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
812
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
811
Who:
Wheatley
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
811
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
808
Who:
Core 3
OW.
Listens:
808
Who:
Wheatley
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
807
Who:
Wheatley
science collaboration points.
Listens:
806
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
806
Who:
Defective Turret
BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
Listens:
802
Who:
GLaDOS
I lied.
Listens:
802
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
802
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
802
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
800
Who:
Wheatley
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
797
Who:
Wheatley
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
796
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
794
Who:
GLaDOS
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
794
Who:
Wheatley
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
793
Who:
Core 2
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
793
Who:
GLaDOS
Almost there! Remember: you're looking for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, but-- well, you'll figure it out. Really do hold on this time!
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
790
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press the button!
Listens:
790
Who:
Wheatley
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
789
Who:
GLaDOS
Briefly.
Listens:
785
Who:
GLaDOS
Miss you!
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
783
Who:
Core 3
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
783
Who:
Core 3
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
783
Who:
GLaDOS
All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?
Listens:
783
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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