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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
896
Who:
GLaDOS
After that...who knows? I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe.
Listens:
895
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
Listens:
894
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult--why don't you just keep solving THIS test. Same one. And I can just... watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier.
Listens:
891
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
891
Who:
Defective Turret
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
890
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
887
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
887
Who:
Turret
Hey, give 'em hell, sweetheart!
Listens:
883
Who:
Defective Turret
Excuse me?
Listens:
883
Who:
Turret
Hey!
Listens:
883
Who:
Turret
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
882
Who:
Core 2
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
882
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
880
Who:
Wheatley
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
875
Who:
Turret
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
874
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
873
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
872
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
871
Who:
Wheatley
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
871
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm about to start hacking. It's a little more complicated than it looked from your side. It should take about ten minutes. Keep one eye on the door.
Listens:
870
Who:
Wheatley
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
869
Who:
Wheatley
While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
868
Who:
Core 3
Do not press that button!
Listens:
868
Who:
Wheatley
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
867
Who:
Defective Turret
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
865
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
861
Who:
Core 1
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
861
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
861
Who:
Wheatley
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
859
Who:
Core 1
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
859
Who:
GLaDOS
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
859
Who:
Wheatley
Oops.
Listens:
858
Who:
GLaDOS
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
858
Who:
GLaDOS
science collaboration points.
Listens:
857
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
857
Who:
GLaDOS
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
857
Who:
GLaDOS
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
854
Who:
Core 3
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
853
Who:
Core 3
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
852
Who:
GLaDOS
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
852
Who:
Defective Turret
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
851
Who:
Core 3
Core transfer?
Listens:
851
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
849
Who:
Core 1
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
848
Who:
GLaDOS
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
848
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
847
Who:
Wheatley
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
845
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
845
Who:
Defective Turret
She was provoking you.
Listens:
845
Who:
Turret
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
844
Who:
GLaDOS
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
842
Who:
Turret
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
840
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
840
Who:
Wheatley
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
838
Who:
Core 3
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
838
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
838
Who:
GLaDOS
Almost there! Remember: you're looking for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, but-- well, you'll figure it out. Really do hold on this time!
Listens:
838
Who:
Wheatley
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
837
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
837
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
836
Who:
Core 3
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
835
Who:
Core 2
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
835
Who:
Wheatley
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
834
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
832
Who:
GLaDOS
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
829
Who:
GLaDOS
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
828
Who:
Wheatley
OW.
Listens:
828
Who:
Wheatley
One
Listens:
827
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
827
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
825
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
823
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
822
Who:
Wheatley
All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?
Listens:
822
Who:
Wheatley
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
821
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey.
Listens:
820
Who:
Core 1
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
820
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
820
Who:
Defective Turret
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
819
Who:
Core 3
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
818
Who:
Core 3
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
818
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
816
Who:
Core 3
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
816
Who:
Wheatley
BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
811
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
809
Who:
GLaDOS
I lied.
Listens:
809
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
809
Who:
GLaDOS
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
809
Who:
Wheatley
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
806
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, thanks so much!
Listens:
806
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
804
Who:
GLaDOS
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
803
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press the button!
Listens:
803
Who:
Wheatley
Fine, 500 point penalty for Blue.
Listens:
802
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
801
Who:
Defective Turret
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
800
Who:
GLaDOS
No wait, come back. Sorry. Please. I was going somewhere with that.
Listens:
800
Who:
Wheatley
Well... Good. Good. Finally, a nemesis worthy of my vast intellect.
Listens:
800
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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