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Portal 2
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While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
812
Who:
Core 3
She was provoking you.
Listens:
811
Who:
Turret
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
810
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
809
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
808
Who:
GLaDOS
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
806
Who:
Core 3
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
806
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
805
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
805
Who:
Defective Turret
Oops.
Listens:
804
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
801
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
799
Who:
Defective Turret
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
796
Who:
GLaDOS
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
796
Who:
Turret
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
795
Who:
GLaDOS
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
794
Who:
Core 1
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
794
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
794
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah!
Listens:
793
Who:
GLaDOS
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
792
Who:
Core 3
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
791
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
789
Who:
Core 1
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
789
Who:
Core 2
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
789
Who:
GLaDOS
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
788
Who:
Wheatley
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
787
Who:
Core 3
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
787
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
785
Who:
Core 3
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
785
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
785
Who:
Defective Turret
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
783
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
782
Who:
Core 3
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
781
Who:
Core 2
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
779
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
778
Who:
Core 1
NO!
Listens:
778
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
777
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
777
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 3
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
774
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
771
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
771
Who:
GLaDOS
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
764
Who:
Core 3
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
764
Who:
GLaDOS
So I just wanted to give you the chance to kill yourself now. Before you get to the lair. Just, you know, jump into the masher there. Less a death trap and more a death option for you.
Listens:
764
Who:
Wheatley
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
764
Who:
Defective Turret
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
764
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
763
Who:
Wheatley
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
763
Who:
Wheatley
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
763
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
761
Who:
Wheatley
Core transfer?
Listens:
760
Who:
GLaDOS
I lied.
Listens:
760
Who:
GLaDOS
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
758
Who:
Wheatley
Briefly.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
One
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
755
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
755
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
753
Who:
Wheatley
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
753
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
753
Who:
Wheatley
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
752
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
752
Who:
Wheatley
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
752
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
752
Who:
Wheatley
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
751
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
750
Who:
Core 3
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
750
Who:
Core 3
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
749
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
748
Who:
Core 3
Yeah!
Listens:
745
Who:
GLaDOS
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
744
Who:
Turret
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
741
Who:
GLaDOS
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
740
Who:
Core 2
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
740
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
738
Who:
GLaDOS
Fact not found.
Listens:
736
Who:
Core 3
I’m scared!
Listens:
736
Who:
Turret
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
735
Who:
Core 3
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
733
Who:
Wheatley
Wow.
Listens:
732
Who:
GLaDOS
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
732
Who:
GLaDOS
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
732
Who:
Defective Turret
Noted.
Listens:
732
Who:
Turret
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
730
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
729
Who:
GLaDOS
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
729
Who:
Wheatley
Good shot!
Listens:
729
Who:
Turret
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
727
Who:
Wheatley
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
727
Who:
Defective Turret
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
725
Who:
GLaDOS
Miss you!
Listens:
725
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
722
Who:
GLaDOS
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
722
Who:
Turret
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
721
Who:
Core 3
All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?
Listens:
721
Who:
Wheatley
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