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Portal 2
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While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
801
Who:
Core 3
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
800
Who:
GLaDOS
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
798
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
796
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
796
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
794
Who:
Wheatley
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
792
Who:
Core 3
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
792
Who:
Defective Turret
Oops.
Listens:
791
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
789
Who:
GLaDOS
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
788
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
786
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
786
Who:
GLaDOS
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
785
Who:
Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
784
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey.
Listens:
783
Who:
Core 1
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
783
Who:
Defective Turret
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
781
Who:
Core 1
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
780
Who:
Core 3
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
780
Who:
GLaDOS
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
780
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
779
Who:
Core 3
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
779
Who:
Wheatley
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
778
Who:
Core 2
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
777
Who:
Core 3
Yeah!
Listens:
775
Who:
GLaDOS
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
774
Who:
GLaDOS
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
774
Who:
Wheatley
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
773
Who:
Core 3
Lady.
Listens:
772
Who:
Core 1
Well, I tried.
Listens:
770
Who:
Defective Turret
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
769
Who:
Core 2
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
769
Who:
GLaDOS
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
766
Who:
GLaDOS
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
765
Who:
Core 3
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
764
Who:
GLaDOS
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
763
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
762
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
762
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
762
Who:
Wheatley
NO!
Listens:
761
Who:
GLaDOS
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
758
Who:
Wheatley
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
756
Who:
Defective Turret
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
755
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
755
Who:
Wheatley
Core transfer?
Listens:
754
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
754
Who:
Defective Turret
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
752
Who:
Defective Turret
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
751
Who:
Core 3
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
751
Who:
GLaDOS
I lied.
Listens:
750
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
750
Who:
GLaDOS
Briefly.
Listens:
749
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
748
Who:
Wheatley
One
Listens:
747
Who:
GLaDOS
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
747
Who:
Wheatley
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
745
Who:
Core 3
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
745
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
745
Who:
Wheatley
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
745
Who:
Wheatley
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
743
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
742
Who:
Core 3
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
741
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
740
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
739
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
738
Who:
GLaDOS
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
737
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
736
Who:
Core 3
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
733
Who:
Core 2
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
733
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
733
Who:
GLaDOS
Fact not found.
Listens:
732
Who:
Core 3
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
730
Who:
GLaDOS
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
730
Who:
Turret
I’m scared!
Listens:
729
Who:
Turret
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
728
Who:
Defective Turret
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
726
Who:
Core 3
Yeah!
Listens:
725
Who:
GLaDOS
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
725
Who:
Defective Turret
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
724
Who:
GLaDOS
Noted.
Listens:
724
Who:
Turret
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
721
Who:
Wheatley
Good shot!
Listens:
721
Who:
Turret
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
720
Who:
GLaDOS
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
718
Who:
GLaDOS
So I just wanted to give you the chance to kill yourself now. Before you get to the lair. Just, you know, jump into the masher there. Less a death trap and more a death option for you.
Listens:
717
Who:
Wheatley
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
715
Who:
Core 3
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
715
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
714
Who:
GLaDOS
Wow.
Listens:
714
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
714
Who:
Wheatley
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
714
Who:
Defective Turret
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
713
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
711
Who:
GLaDOS
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
710
Who:
GLaDOS
All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?
Listens:
710
Who:
Wheatley
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
709
Who:
Wheatley
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
709
Who:
Turret
Can I get some bullets here? Anybody got bullets?
Listens:
708
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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