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Portal 2
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I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
743
Who:
Core 2
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
743
Who:
GLaDOS
Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing.
Listens:
742
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
739
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press it! COME BACK!
Listens:
739
Who:
Wheatley
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
738
Who:
GLaDOS
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
738
Who:
Wheatley
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
737
Who:
Core 3
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
737
Who:
Core 2
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
736
Who:
Core 3
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
736
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
735
Who:
Core 1
Anyway. Just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli. Do not know what all the fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one?
Listens:
735
Who:
Wheatley
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
733
Who:
GLaDOS
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
732
Who:
Defective Turret
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
731
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
731
Who:
Wheatley
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
730
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
730
Who:
Defective Turret
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
726
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
725
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
724
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
722
Who:
Core 3
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
721
Who:
Core 3
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
721
Who:
GLaDOS
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
718
Who:
Turret
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
715
Who:
Defective Turret
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
714
Who:
GLaDOS
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
712
Who:
Core 3
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
712
Who:
Wheatley
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
711
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
710
Who:
GLaDOS
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
709
Who:
Core 3
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
709
Who:
GLaDOS
I lied.
Listens:
708
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
708
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
707
Who:
Defective Turret
Oops.
Listens:
706
Who:
GLaDOS
Core transfer?
Listens:
706
Who:
GLaDOS
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
706
Who:
Wheatley
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
703
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
703
Who:
GLaDOS
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
703
Who:
Wheatley
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
703
Who:
Defective Turret
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
701
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
700
Who:
Core 3
Fact not found.
Listens:
699
Who:
Core 3
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
697
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
695
Who:
Wheatley
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
692
Who:
Core 3
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
Briefly.
Listens:
690
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
690
Who:
Defective Turret
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
687
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
686
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
685
Who:
Core 3
NO!
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
685
Who:
Wheatley
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
684
Who:
Wheatley
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
683
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
683
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
683
Who:
Wheatley
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
678
Who:
Core 3
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
677
Who:
Wheatley
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
677
Who:
Turret
Noted.
Listens:
675
Who:
Turret
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
674
Who:
Core 2
One
Listens:
673
Who:
GLaDOS
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
673
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
673
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m scared!
Listens:
671
Who:
Turret
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
670
Who:
Wheatley
Good shot!
Listens:
670
Who:
Turret
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
669
Who:
Wheatley
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
668
Who:
GLaDOS
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
665
Who:
Core 2
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
663
Who:
Core 3
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
663
Who:
Core 2
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
663
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
660
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
660
Who:
GLaDOS
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
660
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
655
Who:
Core 3
Wow.
Listens:
655
Who:
GLaDOS
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
655
Who:
Defective Turret
Can I get some bullets here? Anybody got bullets?
Listens:
654
Who:
Defective Turret
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
654
Who:
Turret
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
651
Who:
GLaDOS
OW.
Listens:
651
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
650
Who:
GLaDOS
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
650
Who:
Wheatley
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