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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Hey.
Listens:
827
Who:
Core 1
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
827
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
825
Who:
Wheatley
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
825
Who:
Defective Turret
She was provoking you.
Listens:
821
Who:
Turret
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
818
Who:
GLaDOS
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
817
Who:
GLaDOS
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
817
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
816
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
815
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
814
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
814
Who:
Defective Turret
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
813
Who:
Wheatley
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
812
Who:
Core 2
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
811
Who:
Core 1
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
811
Who:
Defective Turret
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
811
Who:
Turret
Oops.
Listens:
810
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
810
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah!
Listens:
809
Who:
GLaDOS
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
807
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
807
Who:
Defective Turret
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
806
Who:
GLaDOS
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
805
Who:
Core 3
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
804
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
802
Who:
GLaDOS
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
802
Who:
Wheatley
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
800
Who:
GLaDOS
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
800
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
799
Who:
Core 1
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
798
Who:
Core 3
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
798
Who:
Core 3
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
798
Who:
GLaDOS
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
796
Who:
Core 3
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
796
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
795
Who:
Core 1
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
795
Who:
GLaDOS
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
794
Who:
Wheatley
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
794
Who:
Wheatley
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
791
Who:
Core 2
NO!
Listens:
791
Who:
GLaDOS
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
788
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
788
Who:
Defective Turret
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
786
Who:
Core 3
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
786
Who:
GLaDOS
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
784
Who:
Wheatley
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
782
Who:
Core 3
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
782
Who:
GLaDOS
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
781
Who:
GLaDOS
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
779
Who:
Defective Turret
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
777
Who:
Defective Turret
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
776
Who:
GLaDOS
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
773
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
772
Who:
Core 3
Core transfer?
Listens:
772
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
772
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
772
Who:
Wheatley
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
771
Who:
GLaDOS
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
771
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
769
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
768
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
768
Who:
Wheatley
I lied.
Listens:
767
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
767
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
765
Who:
GLaDOS
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
764
Who:
Core 3
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
763
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
761
Who:
Core 3
One
Listens:
761
Who:
GLaDOS
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
761
Who:
Wheatley
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
760
Who:
Wheatley
Briefly.
Listens:
759
Who:
GLaDOS
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
758
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
752
Who:
Defective Turret
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
750
Who:
Turret
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
748
Who:
Core 2
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
747
Who:
Core 3
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
746
Who:
GLaDOS
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
744
Who:
GLaDOS
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
744
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
744
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
743
Who:
Defective Turret
Noted.
Listens:
741
Who:
Turret
Fact not found.
Listens:
740
Who:
Core 3
Wow.
Listens:
740
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m scared!
Listens:
740
Who:
Turret
Good shot!
Listens:
740
Who:
Turret
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
739
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
739
Who:
Wheatley
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
739
Who:
Defective Turret
Miss you!
Listens:
737
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang!
Listens:
736
Who:
Defective Turret
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
735
Who:
Wheatley
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
734
Who:
Turret
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
733
Who:
Core 3
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
732
Who:
GLaDOS
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
732
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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