Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Hey, give 'em hell, sweetheart!
Listens:
872
Who:
Defective Turret
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
871
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
871
Who:
Turret
Searching
Listens:
871
Who:
Turret
Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult--why don't you just keep solving THIS test. Same one. And I can just... watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier.
Listens:
868
Who:
Wheatley
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
867
Who:
Core 3
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
867
Who:
GLaDOS
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
866
Who:
Core 2
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
864
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey!
Listens:
863
Who:
Turret
Yeah!
Listens:
862
Who:
GLaDOS
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
862
Who:
Turret
Well, I tried.
Listens:
861
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
860
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
859
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
855
Who:
Core 1
Do not press that button!
Listens:
853
Who:
Wheatley
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
853
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
853
Who:
Defective Turret
While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
852
Who:
Core 3
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
852
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
852
Who:
GLaDOS
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
851
Who:
Core 1
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
850
Who:
Wheatley
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
850
Who:
Wheatley
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
850
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
842
Who:
GLaDOS
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
842
Who:
Defective Turret
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
840
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
839
Who:
Core 1
Oops.
Listens:
839
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
839
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
838
Who:
Core 3
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
838
Who:
Wheatley
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
836
Who:
Core 3
She was provoking you.
Listens:
834
Who:
Turret
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
833
Who:
GLaDOS
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
832
Who:
Wheatley
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
831
Who:
Turret
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
829
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
829
Who:
Defective Turret
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
827
Who:
Core 3
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
827
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
826
Who:
Core 3
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
826
Who:
Core 3
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
826
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
824
Who:
GLaDOS
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
824
Who:
GLaDOS
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
823
Who:
Wheatley
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
822
Who:
GLaDOS
Core transfer?
Listens:
820
Who:
GLaDOS
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
820
Who:
GLaDOS
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
820
Who:
Wheatley
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
818
Who:
Core 2
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
818
Who:
GLaDOS
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
817
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
816
Who:
Wheatley
One
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
813
Who:
GLaDOS
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
813
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm about to start hacking. It's a little more complicated than it looked from your side. It should take about ten minutes. Keep one eye on the door.
Listens:
812
Who:
Wheatley
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
812
Who:
Defective Turret
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
811
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey.
Listens:
810
Who:
Core 1
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
810
Who:
Core 3
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
810
Who:
Core 3
Yeah!
Listens:
810
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
810
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
807
Who:
Core 3
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
807
Who:
Wheatley
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
805
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
802
Who:
GLaDOS
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
802
Who:
Wheatley
OW.
Listens:
801
Who:
Wheatley
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
800
Who:
Defective Turret
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
798
Who:
Wheatley
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
797
Who:
GLaDOS
I lied.
Listens:
796
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
796
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
794
Who:
Wheatley
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
790
Who:
Defective Turret
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
789
Who:
GLaDOS
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
789
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
786
Who:
GLaDOS
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
785
Who:
Core 2
BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press the button!
Listens:
783
Who:
Wheatley
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
781
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
779
Who:
GLaDOS
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
779
Who:
GLaDOS
Briefly.
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it.
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
776
Who:
Core 3
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
775
Who:
Defective Turret
Good shot!
Listens:
775
Who:
Turret
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 3
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 3
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 2
Miss you!
Listens:
774
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
