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Portal 2
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TF2 Music
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What'd I hit?
Listens:
334
Who:
Defective Turret
Space!
Listens:
1551
Who:
Core 1
For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors.
Listens:
1315
Who:
Cave Johnson
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
466
Who:
Wheatley
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
844
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh my god. What has he done to this place?
Listens:
1423
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
441
Who:
GLaDOS
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
664
Who:
Core 2
Right. Hmm. I'm gonna have to hack the door so we can get at it.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
Please avoid alerting active turrets or being shot by active turrets.
Listens:
786
Who:
Announcer
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
752
Who:
Core 3
SURPRISE! We're doing it NOW!
Listens:
5136
Who:
Wheatley
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
That's why humans couldn't complete these courses, they treat their friends as enemies.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
6156
Who:
Wheatley
Not much of a plan, if I'm honest. But I'm afraid it's all we have at his point. Barring a sudden barrage of speech from your direction. Improbable. At best.
Listens:
238
Who:
Wheatley
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Wow.
Listens:
654
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
4864
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, look, we're really close to busting out, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
Always cold.
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, I wouldn't have trusted Orange in that course either.
Listens:
235
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
You're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.
Listens:
24325
Who:
GLaDOS
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
667
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, can't blame me for trying. Okay... New tests, new tests... there's gotta be some tests around here somewhere.
Listens:
1369
Who:
Wheatley
Yes Orange, we are alone. Blue can't hear you.
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, it will. Believe me, it will.
Listens:
1521
Who:
GLaDOS
Because this message is prerecorded, the Enrichment Center has no way of knowing if whatever government remains offers any sort of Cattle Tuberculosis Testing Credit for taxes.
Listens:
752
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah... Made this test myself. Out of some smaller tests. That I found. Lying around.
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
513
Who:
Wheatley
The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million. Bought 'em anyway. Ground 'em up, mixed em into a gel.
Listens:
17151
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh. Disappointing.
Listens:
1018
Who:
Wheatley
Hello there!
Listens:
1510
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes Orange, Blue did act like a fool just now.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
922
Who:
Turret
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
611
Who:
Wheatley
No!
Listens:
551
Who:
Wheatley
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations job well done.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
Probably.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
396
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
840
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep it up and your arm will get stuck like that.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, well, alright. Just do your idea and then come straight back.
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.
Listens:
5076
Who:
Cave Johnson
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
235
Who:
Wheatley
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
527
Who:
Core 3
Wheeeeeeee!
Listens:
3106
Who:
Turret
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
464
Who:
Wheatley
Do you understand what I'm saying? Just tell me 'Yes'.
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
You have excellent aim!
Listens:
640
Who:
Turret
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Listens:
7815
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue what did you do?
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning, sphere corruption at twenty-- rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
2438
Who:
Core 3
Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job. You've applied the grip. We're all fine. That's tremendous.
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
Thought you'd seen the last of us, didn't ya?
Listens:
619
Who:
Defective Turret
Fact not found.
Listens:
699
Who:
Core 3
Malfunctioning
Listens:
1146
Who:
Turret
Plug me in, plug me in!
Listens:
237
Who:
Wheatley
Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency.
Listens:
1097
Who:
Announcer
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
921
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! But when I DO test... ohhhhh, man alive! Nothing feels better. It's just... why I've gotta test, I've gotta test!
Listens:
1673
Who:
Wheatley
Look, I don't like this any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who got partially eaten by a bird.
Listens:
809
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest.
Listens:
1420
Who:
GLaDOS
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering.
Listens:
574
Who:
Core 3
Since making test participation mandatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatically. Employee retention, however, has not.
Listens:
2714
Who:
Cave Johnson
Good!
Listens:
2635
Who:
Announcer
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
703
Who:
GLaDOS
Press the button again.
Listens:
973
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel.
Listens:
2083
Who:
Cave Johnson
Alright. Paradox time.
Listens:
1092
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you think I forgot about your surprise. I didn't. In fact, we're headed to your surprise right now. After all these years. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it.
Listens:
581
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then.
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah!
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Blue is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep moving! Just keep moving!
Listens:
235
Who:
Wheatley
Reactor Explosion Uncertainty Emergency Preemption Protocol initiated: This facility will self destruct in two minutes.
Listens:
6639
Who:
Announcer
You know who found that interesting? Nobody. That didn't affect anybody's life in any way whatsoever. Life would be exactly the same if you hadn't said anything.
Listens:
1927
Who:
Core 2
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
374
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! Good news! [electic pop] Nevermind.
Listens:
6095
Who:
Wheatley
This close and that's what you do?
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't breathe...
Listens:
814
Who:
Turret
We are now going to take a break from the collaboration for an instructional competition.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sure we'll be fine.
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
Insecure.
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
923
Who:
Core 1
Hey.
Listens:
599
Who:
Core 1
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
394
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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