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Portal 2
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Not a problem. I'll make an exit.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Follow me! You're gonna love this.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck.
Listens:
253
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
9079
Who:
Caroline
Sentry mode activated
Listens:
1494
Who:
Turret
Are you... are you sure you're solving these correctly?
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
867
Who:
Defective Turret
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
386
Who:
Wheatley
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't hate you
Listens:
12528
Who:
Turret
Tell you what, here's a plan. Let's just both... continue contemplating... in absolute silence...
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job. You've applied the grip. We're all fine. That's tremendous.
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
Put me down!
Listens:
893
Who:
Turret
Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.
Listens:
1222
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Now, you might be asking yourself, 'Cave, just how difficult are these tests? What was in that phone book of a contract I signed? Am I in danger?'
Listens:
1536
Who:
Cave Johnson
Sorry, what's going on over there? You know, I'm actually over here, still thinking really hard!
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Always sleeping.
Listens:
494
Who:
GLaDOS
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
1797
Who:
Caroline
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
1770
Who:
Wheatley
You're doing great!
Listens:
403
Who:
Core 2
Here we go! Now do it again!
Listens:
1837
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, now you're just being cruel. Blue receives 25 science collaboration points.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Vent system compromised: Neurotoxin offline.
Listens:
3715
Who:
Announcer
Just stop flailing around like an incompetent.
Listens:
1169
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
718
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. You MIGHT want to hang onto to something. Word of advice, up to you.
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
I can't see it though... Maybe it fell off. Do you want to go and have a quick look?
Listens:
245
Who:
Wheatley
Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.
Listens:
29927
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
977
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't press the button!
Listens:
669
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
1079
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, solve it!
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
That's right. Drink it in. You could eat off those wall panels.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
346
Who:
Defective Turret
Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious, as humans.
Listens:
1655
Who:
Core 3
The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
859
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep it up and your arm will get stuck like that.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
924
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Do hear that? That's the sound of the neurotoxin emitters emitting neurotoxin.
Listens:
1349
Who:
GLaDOS
Hurt me once, shame on me. Hurt me twice...
Listens:
1956
Who:
Defective Turret
You can't give up now.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering.
Listens:
593
Who:
Core 3
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
Inattentive listener.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Give up? Also the floor. Was the answer that time. Same as before. Still on the floor.
Listens:
244
Who:
Wheatley
On the floor. Needing your help. The whole time. All the time. Needing your help.
Listens:
244
Who:
Wheatley
I swear I know him...
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Turret redemption lines active.
Listens:
1466
Who:
Announcer
Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
494
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah, come on!
Listens:
416
Who:
Defective Turret
Good Job.
Listens:
603
Who:
GLaDOS
That’s right. You're not humans.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Surprise.
Listens:
5816
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
551
Who:
Wheatley
Space? SPACE!
Listens:
21918
Who:
Core 1
Ohhhh, we're so close, plug me in!
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
It is tricky. It is tricky. But just... plug me in, please.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
There should be a portal device on that podium over there.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Wheeeeeeee!
Listens:
3244
Who:
Turret
You messed with the wrong turret!
Listens:
18358
Who:
Defective Turret
Annnnd we're back!
Listens:
831
Who:
Defective Turret
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
4440
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
414
Who:
Wheatley
Even humans, as stupid as they are, would say you look stupid when you do that.
Listens:
572
Who:
GLaDOS
Reactor explosion in four minutes.
Listens:
4136
Who:
Announcer
Keep moving! Just keep moving!
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
Good!
Listens:
10216
Who:
Announcer
YEEEHAAAAAW!
Listens:
12078
Who:
Core 1
Right on that stick over there. Just put me right on it.
Listens:
247
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe you ARE getting human emotions.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
For god's sake, you're BOXES with LEGS! It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?
Listens:
5862
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, off you go!
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
This. Sentence. Is. FALSE don't think about it don't think about it...
Listens:
30661
Who:
GLaDOS
Come closer.
Listens:
650
Who:
Turret
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
978
Who:
GLaDOS
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
We're not safe yet. Quick! Follow the walkway.
Listens:
244
Who:
Wheatley
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
696
Who:
Wheatley
To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you if you fail. He refused. I understand. That would be like asking me not to test.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
Come on through.
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
On ya go.
Listens:
252
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
1055
Who:
Wheatley
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
639
Who:
Wheatley
I'm--do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Your ping tool is invaluable for communicating specific locations to your partner.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhh, yes. Ohhhh. Well done.
Listens:
4260
Who:
Wheatley
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
609
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent work.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* PRESS THE BUTTON.
Listens:
32209
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Play it cool. Play it cool. Here come the space cops.
Listens:
4991
Who:
Core 1
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
915
Who:
Cave Johnson
00:00 / 00:00
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