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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Excellent. I think you have earned a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Clearly that was blue's fault. Blue is penalized 3 science collaboration points.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, I certainly expected more from you.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
No no, no no, no no, whoa whoa, no, whoa!
Listens:
873
Who:
Defective Turret
You can't give up now.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
Or maybe he still is, in which case, wow, that's kind of sad.
Listens:
1618
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm trouble.
Listens:
379
Who:
Defective Turret
Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?
Listens:
1229
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
6286
Who:
Defective Turret
Blah.
Listens:
1104
Who:
GLaDOS
An extra special bonus course that ends with us finding and freeing humans!
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
So whatever you're doing, keep doing it!
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Listens:
5984
Who:
GLaDOS
Could a MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT? Huh? Could a moron do THAT?
Listens:
5408
Who:
Wheatley
Go on, just walk up to the window and take a look out.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
GAAAA!
Listens:
1451
Who:
Wheatley
Oh... Mr. Johnson...
Listens:
27051
Who:
Caroline
We have to get you out of there!
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, so, silent contemplation it is. Mysterious button... Sorry. Sorry. Silence. Do not speak. In the silence. Let the silence descend. Here it comes. One hundred percent silence. From now. By the way, if you come up with any ideas, do flag them up. Don't feel you have to stay quiet because I've said absolute silence. So if you come up with an idea, mention it. Otherwise, absolute silence starting... Now.
Listens:
1814
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
511
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing?
Listens:
1064
Who:
Turret
Good news. I figured out what to do with all the money I save recycling your one roomful of air. When you die, I'm going to laminate your skeleton and pose you in the lobby. That way future generations can learn from you how not to have your unfortunate bone structure.
Listens:
1455
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. You MIGHT want to hang onto to something. Word of advice, up to you.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
828
Who:
Core 1
You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
Listens:
5809
Who:
Announcer
Here I go!
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
Yahh. Gehhh!
Listens:
734
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
420
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
1143
Who:
GLaDOS
BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD
Listens:
106165
Who:
Wheatley
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into space.
Listens:
2197
Who:
Core 2
Quick word about the future plans that I've got in store.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Oh! Don't leave me behind! Do pick me up, if you would...
Listens:
407
Who:
Wheatley
There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it.
Listens:
1434
Who:
Announcer
Failure...
Listens:
1709
Who:
Turret
She's the backbone of this facility. Pretty as a postcard, too. Sorry, fellas. She's married. To science.
Listens:
1768
Who:
Cave Johnson
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
875
Who:
Core 3
The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days.
Listens:
888
Who:
Core 3
[sigh] Don't tell anyone about this.
Listens:
1484
Who:
Defective Turret
Dang!
Listens:
550
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you... are you sure you're solving these correctly?
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
I'm--do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead.
Listens:
381
Who:
Wheatley
Warning: Core overheating. Nuclear meltdown imminent.
Listens:
19097
Who:
Announcer
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
582
Who:
Core 2
I'll bet there isn't even a problem with the facility, is there? I'll bet there's no such thing as a 'reactor core'. I'll bet that's not even fire coming out of the walls, is it? It's just cleverly placed lights and papier mache, I'll bet that's all it is.
Listens:
2194
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhhhhh. 'FALSE'. I'll go 'false'.
Listens:
5647
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
1072
Who:
Core 1
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Not so fast!
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
1270
Who:
Announcer
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
724
Who:
GLaDOS
Busybody.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on?
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Even I was created with a imperfection, I was given too much empathy with human suffering.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
438
Who:
GLaDOS
Just glass. Transparent. Smooth. Not going to hurt you. Have a look.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations! The simple fact that you're standing here listening to me means you've made a glorious contribution to science.
Listens:
1534
Who:
Cave Johnson
Follow the feeder tube to the generator room! I'll meet you there.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
919
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here.
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
Ooagh!
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
627
Who:
Defective Turret
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
877
Who:
GLaDOS
I am a coiled spring right now. Tension and power. Just... I'm a muscle. Like a big arm muscle, punching through a brick wall, and it's hitting the wall so hard the arm is catching on fire. Oh yeah.
Listens:
3973
Who:
Core 2
In summary: walk all the way to certain doom, or give up now. Honorably. Like a samurai! Save yourself a trip. It's win-win for you.
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
Moody.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
Turn around. I'll only be a second. If you don't mind.
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
Live turret line is active. Enter room with extreme caution.
Listens:
922
Who:
Announcer
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
843
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I'm back. The Aerial Faith Plate in here is sending a distress signal.
Listens:
1351
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me in, we're running out of time.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
New template accepted.
Listens:
1420
Who:
Announcer
Hooray!
Listens:
5065
Who:
Turret
You have to get to the catwalk behind me!
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
1154
Who:
Core 1
Blah.
Listens:
2077
Who:
GLaDOS
Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine nine nine... nine nine ni- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate [FADES OUT]
Listens:
28493
Who:
Announcer
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
813
Who:
Wheatley
You really do have brain damage, don't you?
Listens:
2185
Who:
GLaDOS
You're okay! Great! Come on!
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Just remember to land on one foot...
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
1161
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
429
Who:
Core 2
Incoherent.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
DANCING is NOT SCIENCE!
Listens:
46453
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm. Space!
Listens:
2472
Who:
Core 1
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
831
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
880
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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