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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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While I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
Listens:
233
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press that button. You don't know what you're doing.
Listens:
1556
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
No A.I. can resist thinking about them.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! You came back! Didn't actually plan... for that. Can't actually reset the death trap. So. Ah. Could you jump into that pit, there? Would you just jump into that pit for me?
Listens:
1127
Who:
Wheatley
One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
17147
Who:
GLaDOS
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-action and adventure-dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-playing by our own rules-nanana-hanging by our fingers from a mountain-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
Listens:
108884
Who:
Core 2
Good.
Listens:
490
Who:
GLaDOS
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
32377
Who:
GLaDOS
We're running out of time...
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
460
Who:
Wheatley
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Gotta go to space. Lady. Lady.
Listens:
24235
Who:
Core 1
Why?
Listens:
1009
Who:
Turret
Hello? Anyone in there?
Listens:
1200
Who:
Wheatley
Deploying
Listens:
2783
Who:
Turret
I guess quitting that course together is a sign of teamwork.
Listens:
235
Who:
GLaDOS
That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?
Listens:
1132
Who:
Cave Johnson
It flew off.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
Listens:
631
Who:
Core 3
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
919
Who:
Core 3
Come on through to the other side.
Listens:
233
Who:
Wheatley
Come on come on come on!
Listens:
237
Who:
Wheatley
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations job well done.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT BUTTON - oh, the door's open! Well done. Let's see what's inside.
Listens:
2523
Who:
Wheatley
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
235
Who:
Wheatley
Resting
Listens:
596
Who:
Turret
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
375
Who:
Core 2
And... forty potato batteries. Embarrassing. I realize they’re children. Still: low hanging fruit. Barely science, really.
Listens:
1282
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
361
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello?
Listens:
1026
Who:
Turret
Ahhh... Wha- What happened?
Listens:
1312
Who:
Wheatley
Stalemate Resolved.
Listens:
1622
Who:
Announcer
Open the door!
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
For safety.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
483
Who:
Defective Turret
Procrastinator.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Are we in space yet? What's the hold-up? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE.
Listens:
1448
Who:
Core 1
Blah.
Listens:
1886
Who:
GLaDOS
Not done yet. You've still got to get through the door. Need to get through the door there.
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
Cheater.
Listens:
453
Who:
GLaDOS
If that doesn't motivate you, I'm not sure what will.
Listens:
239
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
Listens:
561
Who:
Core 2
What are you...
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
824
Who:
Wheatley
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
506
Who:
Core 2
Irritable.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
252
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
443
Who:
Wheatley
I went and spoke with the door mainframe. Let's just say he won't be... well, living anymore. Anyway, back to testing.
Listens:
1239
Who:
GLaDOS
The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three. Two. One.
Listens:
1816
Who:
Announcer
I did this! Tiny little Wheatley did this!
Listens:
1534
Who:
Wheatley
There. Try it now.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
A, A, A, A, A, A. [NNNT!] No. A, A, A, A, A, B. [NNNT!] Hold on, I've done both of these. Skip ahead. A, B, C... D, G, H.[DING!]
Listens:
165309
Who:
Wheatley
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1206
Who:
Core 1
Yeah, that's right! Still defective!
Listens:
769
Who:
Defective Turret
It's like you're just machines.
Listens:
239
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
901
Who:
Wheatley
Press the button again.
Listens:
973
Who:
GLaDOS
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
You two aren't lost are you?
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
While I will receive all the glory for the rescue don't think you two aren't going to get something. The bond you form during these tests will last a lifetime.
Listens:
243
Who:
GLaDOS
All sealed off years ago, of course.
Listens:
235
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Here we go...
Listens:
1093
Who:
Wheatley
This place is huge.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
540
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
4784
Who:
GLaDOS
You had to play bloody cat and mouse, didn't you? While people were trying to work. Yes, well, now we're all going to pay the price. BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BLOODY DIE.
Listens:
2053
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises--[train horn]--
Listens:
31288
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh!
Listens:
1273
Who:
Turret
Come on! Come on!
Listens:
235
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go in!
Listens:
242
Who:
Wheatley
5000 point penalty! Are you happy now?
Listens:
1556
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1280
Who:
Announcer
Now you're thinking with stupidity.
Listens:
1755
Who:
GLaDOS
The turret factory should be this way I think.
Listens:
233
Who:
Wheatley
So that's just what I was doing. I was just reading... ah... books. So I'm not a moron.
Listens:
2032
Who:
Wheatley
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
581
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
595
Who:
GLaDOS
Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.
Listens:
41129
Who:
Turret
Do not press that button!
Listens:
758
Who:
Wheatley
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
522
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey! You made it!
Listens:
240
Who:
Wheatley
I hate you so much.
Listens:
11864
Who:
GLaDOS
To reiterate: This is not a competition.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
You've probably figured it out by now, but I don't need you anymore.
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
I’m on fire.
Listens:
2189
Who:
Turret
Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?
Listens:
632
Who:
Defective Turret
Always cold.
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
To maintain a constant testing cycle, I simulate daylight at all hours and add adrenal vapor to your oxygen supply. So you may be confused about the passage of time. The point is, yesterday was your birthday. I thought you'd want to know.
Listens:
3242
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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