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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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No one has ever completed this test before. The humans must have reconfigured it from my original plans.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Wow.
Listens:
766
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
407
Who:
Wheatley
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
622
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
Lacks confidence.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh dear.
Listens:
920
Who:
Turret
Breathes with mouth open.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
582
Who:
Defective Turret
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
514
Who:
GLaDOS
With humans, I would have called that a successful test.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
Takes long lunches.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Oh!
Listens:
1359
Who:
Turret
Hold on! This is a bit tricky!
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
Right on that stick over there. Just put me right on it.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
1107
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not defective!
Listens:
2355
Who:
Defective Turret
What, are you still alive? You are joking. You have got be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE.
Listens:
6502
Who:
Wheatley
Nooooooooo...
Listens:
1628
Who:
Defective Turret
Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home.
Listens:
1305
Who:
Core 1
Fears intimacy.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
1024
Who:
GLaDOS
Awwww
Listens:
3107
Who:
Turret
Honey does not spoil.
Listens:
640
Who:
Core 3
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
565
Who:
Wheatley
Steals lunch from staff fridge.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
542
Who:
Core 2
The good news is... well, none so far, to be honest. I'll get back to you on that.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?
Listens:
762
Who:
Wheatley
Remember that!
Listens:
1271
Who:
Turret
If you're interested in an additional sixty dollars, flag down a test associate and let 'em know. You could walk out of here with a hundred and twenty weighing down your bindle if you let us take you apart, put some science stuff in you, then put you back together good as new.
Listens:
1620
Who:
Cave Johnson
clickclickclick
Listens:
572
Who:
Defective Turret
Sir, the testing?
Listens:
2488
Who:
Caroline
Pshh. Really? And do what, exactly?
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
Hi?
Listens:
899
Who:
Turret
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
717
Who:
Core 2
Hurt me once, shame on me. Hurt me twice...
Listens:
2068
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, look. There's a deer! You probably can't see it. Get closer.
Listens:
1368
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it is - the turret factory entrance! We made it.
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
This door's actually pretty complicated.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Can I help you?
Listens:
901
Who:
Turret
I know things look bleak, but that crazy man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons! We are going to march right back upstairs and MAKE him put me back in my body!
Listens:
4456
Who:
GLaDOS
Nobody is going to space, mate!
Listens:
22008
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
1075
Who:
Core 1
So much space. Need to see it all.
Listens:
1926
Who:
Core 1
If you were wondering how could you annoy me without failing a test. Now you know.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
6291
Who:
Turret
I think I hear the bird! Pick me up!
Listens:
1350
Who:
GLaDOS
RUN! Come on! I'm closing the doors!
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
This next test... [boom!] ..is... [BOOM!] dangerous. I'll be right back.
Listens:
51206
Who:
GLaDOS
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
831
Who:
Turret
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
540
Who:
Defective Turret
Lacks charisma.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
1059
Who:
GLaDOS
Please prepare for emergency evacuation.
Listens:
3235
Who:
Announcer
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
974
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't see it though... Maybe it fell off. Do you want to go and have a quick look?
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
On ya go.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Orange what did you do?
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
I am sure it happened by accident, but why don't you put it back in the player?
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't hate you
Listens:
13185
Who:
Turret
In 1948, at the request of a dying boy, baseball legend Babe Ruth ate seventy-five hot dogs, then died of hot dog poisoning.
Listens:
1592
Who:
Core 3
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim.
Listens:
1519
Who:
Announcer
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
DANCING is NOT SCIENCE!
Listens:
46915
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans find that an admirable trait.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you - I can't believe I'm thanking these people - for staggering your way through Aperture Science's propulsion gel testing. You've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that, humanity is grateful.
Listens:
1508
Who:
Cave Johnson
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
Explosion imminent. Evacuate the facility immediately.
Listens:
29515
Who:
Announcer
Earth.
Listens:
1739
Who:
Core 1
Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
Listens:
6565
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry
Listens:
2849
Who:
Turret
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
1240
Who:
Defective Turret
four
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
Could you come over here?
Listens:
3447
Who:
Turret
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
1182
Who:
Turret
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
It seems rather earlier to require reassembly.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
716
Who:
Wheatley
Let's keep moving. The factory entrance must be around here somewhere.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
724
Who:
GLaDOS
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
650
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
856
Who:
Defective Turret
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
1065
Who:
Core 1
So... we're all supposed to be blind, then, right? It's not just me? Alright, fantastic.
Listens:
2272
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
601
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
855
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to dispense product
Listens:
2657
Who:
Turret
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
776
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine, 500 point penalty for Orange.
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
There's a star. There's another one. Star. Star star star. Star.
Listens:
1621
Who:
Core 1
*cough* Button.
Listens:
1306
Who:
Wheatley
Here I go!
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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