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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
830
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press that button. You don't know what you're doing.
Listens:
1808
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's keep moving. The factory entrance must be around here somewhere.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
1001
Who:
GLaDOS
I've got an idea! Do what it says, plug me in!
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
534
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1181
Who:
Core 1
Space space going to space oh boy
Listens:
2151
Who:
Core 1
This close and that's what you do?
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
I honestly, TRULY didn't think you'd fall for that.
Listens:
1924
Who:
GLaDOS
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
927
Who:
Wheatley
This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.
Listens:
11156
Who:
GLaDOS
We have to split up here for a moment. Portal up to that passage and I'll see you on the other side.
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
I just have to figure out how. To break us out of here.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Woooo! I KNEW this would be fun. They told me it wasn't fun at all, and I BELIEVED 'em! Ah! I'm loving this! Whale of a time...
Listens:
730
Who:
Wheatley
They say the old caretaker of this place went absolutely crazy. Chopped up his entire staff. Of robots. All of them robots. They say at night you can still hear the screams. Of their replicas. All of them functionally indistinguishable from the originals. No memory of the incident. Nobody knows what they’re screaming about. Absolutely terrifying. Though obviously not paranormal in any meaningful way.
Listens:
19222
Who:
Wheatley
Just go.
Listens:
3632
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, hello, stranger!
Listens:
3909
Who:
Defective Turret
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
520
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
739
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, going on three just gives you too much time to think about it. Let's, uh, go on one this time. Okay, ready?
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open.
Listens:
3820
Who:
Announcer
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
970
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, blue isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Orange is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
The lock is looking for two humans.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then.
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
Anything? Take your time.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
Where'd you go?
Listens:
402
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
465
Who:
Defective Turret
Always sad.
Listens:
596
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
691
Who:
Defective Turret
Steals lunch from staff fridge.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, I agree. I never noticed that about Blue before.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
In fact, I devised a much more elaborate trap further ahead, for when you got through this easy one.
Listens:
740
Who:
GLaDOS
I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now. [phone ringing] The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up. [Dial tone]
Listens:
29468
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you go first.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
This. Sentence. Is. FALSE don't think about it don't think about it...
Listens:
33189
Who:
GLaDOS
Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken.
Listens:
412
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
817
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
463
Who:
Defective Turret
As long as I don't listen to what I'm saying, I should be okay.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1259
Who:
Core 1
Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
I never liked her.
Listens:
915
Who:
Turret
Oh, really? Space? Really? You should have said something! We had no idea!
Listens:
1987
Who:
Core 2
Oh.
Listens:
575
Who:
Defective Turret
Almost there...
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
688
Who:
Wheatley
There you are
Listens:
2512
Who:
Turret
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
443
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
846
Who:
Wheatley
Take me with you? Please?
Listens:
918
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, your plan is working perfectly.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
...unless a stalemate associate is present to press the stalemate resolution button.
Listens:
2494
Who:
Announcer
Say one useful thing. One. I dare you. I will give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely applicable to anything at all.
Listens:
1425
Who:
Core 2
Come on, solve it!
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
5597
Who:
Core 1
The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.
Listens:
2605
Who:
Core 3
The situation you are in is very dangerous.
Listens:
2979
Who:
Core 3
I’m scared!
Listens:
768
Who:
Turret
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
835
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop it already.
Listens:
534
Who:
GLaDOS
Standing down.
Listens:
426
Who:
Defective Turret
OW! You stabbed me! What is WRONG with yo-WhoOOAAahhh. Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. The gun must be part magnesium... It feels like I'm outputting an extra half a volt. Keep an eye on me: I'm going to do some scheming. Here I g-[BZZZ!]
Listens:
15904
Who:
GLaDOS
Anxious.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
'Goodbye, Caroline.'
Listens:
24462
Who:
Caroline
Why?
Listens:
1125
Who:
Turret
Sorry, what's going on over there? You know, I'm actually over here, still thinking really hard!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
5487
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
714
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Not much of a plan, if I'm honest. But I'm afraid it's all we have at his point. Barring a sudden barrage of speech from your direction. Improbable. At best.
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.
Listens:
2504
Who:
Cave Johnson
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
797
Who:
Defective Turret
Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?
Listens:
730
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
Oops.
Listens:
849
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a clean room facility, decontaminates can harm the turret redemption process.
Listens:
957
Who:
Announcer
Look, I don't like this any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who got partially eaten by a bird.
Listens:
970
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
901
Who:
Wheatley
Oh for... They told me if I ever turned this flashlight on, I would DIE. They told me that about EVERYTHING. I don't know why they even bothered to give me this stuff if they didn't want me usin' it. It's pointless. Mad.
Listens:
2056
Who:
Wheatley
It was YOUR voice.
Listens:
2058
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
1140
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Button.
Listens:
1313
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
1082
Who:
Core 1
Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me in, and I'll take you up.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent work.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
I need backup!
Listens:
725
Who:
Turret
Okay, quick recap: We are escaping! That's what's happening now: we're escaping. So you're doing great. Just keep running!
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Now you're thinking with stupidity.
Listens:
2003
Who:
GLaDOS
Allright, what have we got?
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
1041
Who:
Core 2
00:00 / 00:00
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