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You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
533
Who:
Wheatley
Busybody.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
You know who found that interesting? Nobody. That didn't affect anybody's life in any way whatsoever. Life would be exactly the same if you hadn't said anything.
Listens:
2006
Who:
Core 2
Did you do that on purpose?
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
716
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on...
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Catwalks are safe during defective turret testing.
Listens:
887
Who:
Announcer
Yeah.
Listens:
360
Who:
Defective Turret
[sigh] Don't tell anyone about this.
Listens:
1440
Who:
Defective Turret
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me.
Listens:
648369
Who:
Cave Johnson
Honey does not spoil.
Listens:
611
Who:
Core 3
This place is huge.
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Don't worry, they are of no use to anyone, totally boring and useless.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself.
Listens:
3080
Who:
Core 3
Hm. Let's try this way.
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Get mad!
Listens:
33650
Who:
Turret
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6192
Who:
Cave Johnson
Congratulations! The simple fact that you're standing here listening to me means you've made a glorious contribution to science.
Listens:
1503
Who:
Cave Johnson
If you need to go to the bathroom after this next series of tests, please let a test associate know, because in all likelihood, whatever comes out of you is going to be coal. Only temporary, so do not worry. If it persists for a week, though, start worrying and come see us, because that's not supposed to happen.
Listens:
2521
Who:
Cave Johnson
It won't be enough.
Listens:
1020
Who:
Turret
At the start of this course I was worried you were becoming too close but in my attempt to drive you apart I learned something important about trust and betrayal.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me in, and I'll take you up.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on. You were raised better than that.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
There's no turret in it... Maybe the system stores a backup image?
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
Look - metal ball, I CAN hear you.
Listens:
1594
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, do you feel betrayed by orange for telling me those horrible things about you?
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang! All right, if anyone asks, I killed you.
Listens:
1212
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. [laughs]
Listens:
4253
Who:
GLaDOS
So... you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST... FINE.
Listens:
682
Who:
Wheatley
I am a coiled spring right now. Tension and power. Just... I'm a muscle. Like a big arm muscle, punching through a brick wall, and it's hitting the wall so hard the arm is catching on fire. Oh yeah.
Listens:
3853
Who:
Core 2
[clap clap]
Listens:
21307
Who:
GLaDOS
There's a star. There's another one. Star. Star star star. Star.
Listens:
1580
Who:
Core 1
I think I hear the bird! Pick me up!
Listens:
1281
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready for it!
Listens:
361
Who:
Defective Turret
Fire detected in the Stalemate Resolution Annex. Extinguishing.
Listens:
2414
Who:
Announcer
GAAAA!
Listens:
1417
Who:
Wheatley
Just go.
Listens:
3547
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
449
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
795
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations on completing that last test. But I find something troubling.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it is. Why don't you just do it? Trust me, it's an easier way out than whatever asinine plan your friend came up with.
Listens:
4447
Who:
GLaDOS
I was getting SO lonely down here. It's good to finally hear someone else's voice. I'm kidding, of course. God, I hate you.
Listens:
19875
Who:
GLaDOS
Target acquired.
Listens:
9423
Who:
Turret
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
393
Who:
Defective Turret
Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him.
Listens:
1263
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate Resolved.
Listens:
1810
Who:
Announcer
times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations job well done.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Listens:
8711
Who:
GLaDOS
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
440
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
467
Who:
GLaDOS
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
428
Who:
Defective Turret
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Press the button again.
Listens:
1045
Who:
GLaDOS
The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty.
Listens:
4382
Who:
Core 3
See you at the bottom. Good luck!
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
4147
Who:
Wheatley
It won't.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
421
Who:
Wheatley
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
840
Who:
Turret
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 3
Oh, I like this guy.
Listens:
1415
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
976
Who:
Wheatley
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
1145
Who:
GLaDOS
This place is going to blow up if I don't get back in my body!
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
Poor self-esteem.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
In fact, I devised a much more elaborate trap further ahead, for when you got through this easy one.
Listens:
616
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
726
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's do it again! Pick me up again!
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
Listens:
5746
Who:
Core 3
So. Welcome to Aperture. You're here because we want the best, and you're it. Nope. Couldn't keep a straight face.
Listens:
3226
Who:
Cave Johnson
Good work! I'm delivering the first core up near the catwalk!
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
886
Who:
Wheatley
During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice.
Listens:
1482
Who:
Core 3
Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature.
Listens:
19536
Who:
Announcer
See that?
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Agh!
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Do NOT plug that little idiot into MY mainframe.
Listens:
1850
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, your plan is working perfectly.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh, we just made it! That was close.
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.
Listens:
5837
Who:
Cave Johnson
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no, not that way!
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
Not much of a plan, if I'm honest. But I'm afraid it's all we have at his point. Barring a sudden barrage of speech from your direction. Improbable. At best.
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
483
Who:
Defective Turret
Luckily, by the looks of things he knows as much about test building as he does about logical contradictions.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious!
Listens:
69201
Who:
GLaDOS
Didn't pick up on my sarcasm...
Listens:
4725
Who:
Wheatley
SPAAACE!
Listens:
50710
Who:
Core 1
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
793
Who:
Wheatley
Hello. Hello. Hell-- Aw, crap...
Listens:
12742
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
595
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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