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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
541
Who:
Core 2
[sigh] Don't tell anyone about this.
Listens:
1440
Who:
Defective Turret
It's too big. Too big. Wanna go home. Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
6492
Who:
Core 1
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
991
Who:
Wheatley
This is a sterile environment; please refrain from riding on the turret line.
Listens:
889
Who:
Announcer
Oops.
Listens:
804
Who:
GLaDOS
No wait, come back. Sorry. Please. I was going somewhere with that.
Listens:
704
Who:
Wheatley
Let's keep moving. The factory entrance must be around here somewhere.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
You know, in some human sports, the winner is the one who scores the fewest possible points?
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Door?
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
HA! The tube's broken! We can ride it straight to her!
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
934
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1275
Who:
Announcer
Oh well. We have warehouses FULL of the things. Absolutely worthless. I'm happy to get rid of them.
Listens:
927
Who:
GLaDOS
Undelete, undelete! Where's the undelete button?
Listens:
2590
Who:
Wheatley
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
There's nothing in space! That's why it's space!
Listens:
5654
Who:
Core 2
Die!
Listens:
1618
Who:
Defective Turret
Good news. I figured out what to do with all the money I save recycling your one roomful of air. When you die, I'm going to laminate your skeleton and pose you in the lobby. That way future generations can learn from you how not to have your unfortunate bone structure.
Listens:
1371
Who:
GLaDOS
Martyr.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
986
Who:
Wheatley
So. If you've got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Back again? Maybe you can just stay and live here.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Very impressive! Because this message is prerecorded, any comments we may make about your success are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
1336
Who:
GLaDOS
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
767
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
Listens:
6312
Who:
GLaDOS
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
1018
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
393
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey! How's it going? Here I am again!
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
There should be one in the corner.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, shut up!
Listens:
2263
Who:
Core 2
Hello?
Listens:
1116
Who:
Turret
Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
Listens:
1088
Who:
Core 3
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
779
Who:
Core 3
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
464
Who:
Defective Turret
I am NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
14918
Who:
Wheatley
Procrastinator.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
978
Who:
Wheatley
It burns.
Listens:
2791
Who:
Turret
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
1118
Who:
Wheatley
This time is OUR time.
Listens:
1695
Who:
Defective Turret
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
831
Who:
Wheatley
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
9295
Who:
Caroline
science collaboration points.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
515
Who:
Wheatley
The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
939
Who:
GLaDOS
It worked!
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Never shares.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Better yet, don't say anything.
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
715
Who:
Core 3
I'm trouble.
Listens:
365
Who:
Defective Turret
That will give you PLENTY of time to chat.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sad.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
Self test error
Listens:
1353
Who:
Turret
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha ha ha ha, good one.
Listens:
2285
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, I'm pulling you out.
Listens:
713
Who:
GLaDOS
Who said that?
Listens:
563
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh... It's you.
Listens:
44516
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh]
Listens:
40336
Who:
Cave Johnson
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
708
Who:
Wheatley
For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors.
Listens:
1443
Who:
Cave Johnson
Here it is. Why don't you just do it? Trust me, it's an easier way out than whatever asinine plan your friend came up with.
Listens:
4447
Who:
GLaDOS
Since making test participation mandatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatically. Employee retention, however, has not.
Listens:
2911
Who:
Cave Johnson
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
555
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
544
Who:
GLaDOS
Neurotoxin level at capacity in five minutes.
Listens:
4446
Who:
Announcer
If you're interested in an additional sixty dollars, flag down a test associate and let 'em know. You could walk out of here with a hundred and twenty weighing down your bindle if you let us take you apart, put some science stuff in you, then put you back together good as new.
Listens:
1564
Who:
Cave Johnson
Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis.
Listens:
1221
Who:
GLaDOS
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Critical error
Listens:
12960
Who:
Turret
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
907
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye, sir.
Listens:
3820
Who:
GLaDOS
Get to HER! I'll find you!
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
820
Who:
Core 3
[humming]
Listens:
1829
Who:
Core 1
We made it we made it we made it. Space!
Listens:
3312
Who:
Core 1
To celebrate, I have a surprise for you!
Listens:
622
Who:
GLaDOS
What's your favorite thing about space? Mine is space.
Listens:
211987
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
746
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor. [BUZZER]
Listens:
1961
Who:
Announcer
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
773
Who:
GLaDOS
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1618
Who:
Core 1
Nicely Done!
Listens:
583
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
1078
Who:
Wheatley
Do you understand what I'm saying? Just tell me 'Yes'.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry.
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
1159
Who:
Core 1
Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
Listens:
637
Who:
Core 2
Never completes work.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Help!
Listens:
831
Who:
Turret
Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
Listens:
9599
Who:
Cave Johnson
Could you turn around? Is that possible?
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
I'm pretty sure we're going the right way. Just to reassure you...
Listens:
274
Who:
Wheatley
She did all the work.
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
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