Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Okay, down those stairs, please?
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, down these stairs.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
Can't... see it anywhere. Tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
There we go. Lights on.
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
This is the main breaker room.
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
Not interested in anything else. Don't TOUCH anything else. Don't even LOOK at anything else, just--well, obviously you've got to look at everything else to find ESCAPE POD, but as soon as you've looked at something and it doesn't say ESCAPE POD, look at something else, look at the next thing. Alright? But don't touch anything else or look at any--well, look at other things, but don't... you understand.
Listens:
1665
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see it anywhere? I can't see it anywhere. Uh. Tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
'Let there be light.' That's, uh... God. I was quoting God.
Listens:
2460
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
OW.
Listens:
783
Who:
Wheatley
OW...
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
1095
Who:
Wheatley
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
919
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, do do it!
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Do it!
Listens:
491
Who:
Wheatley
Don't listen to her, do it.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
No, you should plug that little idiot into the mainframe!
Listens:
703
Who:
Wheatley
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
2809
Who:
Wheatley
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
I've got an idea! Do what it says, plug me in!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, stop muckin' around! Plug me in!
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me in, plug me in!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
I want to be plugged in, please!
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh, we're so close, plug me in!
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! What can we do with me then. I know! Plug me into the port, please.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, that port looks comfy. Why don't you put me on it, please.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Yes!
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Here's a good idea. You should definitely press that button.
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
Don't listen to her! It IS true that you don't have the qualifications. But you've got something more important than that. A finger, with which to press that button, so that she won't kill us.
Listens:
1379
Who:
Wheatley
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
561
Who:
Wheatley
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
720
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
933
Who:
Wheatley
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
650
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! That's ME they're talking about!
Listens:
709
Who:
Wheatley
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
Here I go!
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
1987
Who:
Wheatley
So. If you've got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them.
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
Riggght now.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
In case you thought to yourself, 'I've missed the window of time to voice my reservations.' Still open.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
Probably ought to bring you up to speed on something right now.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
In order to escape, we're going to have to go through HER chamber.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
And she will probably kill us if, um, she's awake.
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
Ohh. You're gonna laugh at this. You know how I said there was absolutely no way to get here without going through her lair and her potentially killing us? Could have gone through here. [laughs] My fault. Bit of luck for us that she wasn't switched on.
Listens:
1521
Who:
Wheatley
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
453
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
453
Who:
Wheatley
HA! I knew someone was alive in here.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl-- ummm... good. Looking good, actually.
Listens:
6984
Who:
Wheatley
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
528
Who:
Wheatley
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
611
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
936
Who:
Wheatley
Do you understand what I'm saying? At all? Does any of this make any sense? Just tell me, 'Yes'.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, buddy!
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
I know I'm early, but we have to go right NOW!
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
I'm speaking in an accent that is beyond her range of hearing...
Listens:
7014
Who:
Wheatley
Walk casually toward my position and we'll go shut her down.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Run!
Listens:
494
Who:
Wheatley
Come on come on come on!
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
937
Who:
Wheatley
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
Come on! Come on!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Keep moving! Just keep moving!
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Run, for goodness sake!
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
Go! Go go go!
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Whoa! Hey! Don't fall!
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on. Run back the other way! I'll turn the bridges back on!
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
RUN! Come on! I'm closing the doors!
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
We're not safe yet. Quick! Follow the walkway.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
You have to get to the catwalk behind me!
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
434
Who:
Wheatley
Turrets!
Listens:
425
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! How's it going? Here I am again!
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
971
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, we're really close to busting out. Just hang in there for - OW!
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! How's it going! I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They are REALLY small, so -ah - I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
626
Who:
Wheatley
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
576
Who:
Wheatley
OW!
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
863
Who:
Wheatley
Just hang in there for five more - What? Jerry, you can't fire me for that! Yes, JERRY -- OR, maybe your prejudiced worksite should have accommodated a nanobot of my size. Thanks for the hate crime, Jer!
Listens:
1360
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, look, we're really close to busting out, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for... quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.
Listens:
5190
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
896
Who:
Wheatley
Do you understand what I'm saying? Just tell me 'Yes'.
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. What you're doing there is jumping. You just... you just jumped. But nevermind. Say 'Apple'. 'Aaaapple.'
Listens:
3652
Who:
Wheatley
Simple word. 'Apple'.
Listens:
625
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
844
Who:
Wheatley
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
465
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
874
Who:
Wheatley
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
919
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, you know what? That's close enough. Just hold tight.
Listens:
1605
Who:
Wheatley
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
802
Who:
Wheatley
That's the spirit!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Good luck!
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
Hello? Anyone in there?
Listens:
1407
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!