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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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I'll meet you on the other side!
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
You're okay! Great! Come on!
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
We have to get you out of there!
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
Can you get out?
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on in there?
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
Try to make your way back out here!
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
415
Who:
Wheatley
Just turn around.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Go on, just turn right around. So you're not looking at me.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
Turn around. I'll only be a second. If you don't mind.
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Would you mind putting your back towards me? So I can see only your back. And not your face.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Could you turn around? Is that possible?
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT BUTTON - oh, the door's open! Well done. Let's see what's inside.
Listens:
2669
Who:
Wheatley
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
514
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
266
Who:
Wheatley
So whatever you're doing, keep doing it!
Listens:
256
Who:
Wheatley
Come on! We have to go!
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Hurry!
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
I can't hold on! Come on!
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
GET IN!
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
GET IN!
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Our handiwork. Shouldn't laugh. They do feel pain. Of a sort. All simulated. But real enough for them I suppose.
Listens:
629
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
508
Who:
Wheatley
You may as well have a little rest, actually, while I work on it.
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
Ok... Here we go...
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
875
Who:
Wheatley
Allright, what have we got?
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
There is a box part here. Probably got some electronics in there.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
And a monitor. Yes. That'll be important, I imagine. I'll keep my eye on that. In case something useful comes up like 'password identified' or something like that.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
Spinning thing. Hmmm. Not sure.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
Pens. Might need those. Don't see any though. So...
Listens:
256
Who:
Wheatley
If we start making a list of things that aren't here, we could be here all night. You know, pens for instance. Let's stick with things we can see. Not stuff that isn't here.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
3615
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
'Caw! Caw!' Oh, look! There's a bird out here! A Lovely bird. Gorgeous plumage. Majestic. Won't be here long. A lovely bird like that. Once in a lifetime opportunity to see a lovely bird like that. Lovely plumage.
Listens:
3987
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, it's fluttering its wings. Tell you what, mate. I'll come in there for a minute and cover you so you can have a look at this lovely bird! I'll come in. I'll do all the neurotoxin stuff. And then you come out here and look at this. Because it is lovely. It is lovely. You want to get out here fast. Seriously, my pleasure sounds are going to frighten the bird away any second. Ohhh, it's not working, is it? He's not interested in bloody birds.
Listens:
3046
Who:
Wheatley
That did it! Neurotoxin at zero percent! Yes!
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on -
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! I knew we were going the right way.
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
618
Who:
Wheatley
There's some sort of control room up top. Let's go investigate.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing in there?
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on?
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alright?
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
Probably best to ignore it, though. Just leave it be. We don't know where those panels it's cutting are going. Could be somewhere important.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Though it does give me an idea: WHAT if we stand here and let the gentle hum of the laser transport us to a state of absolute relaxation. Might help us think of a way to open the door.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Not much of a plan, if I'm honest. But I'm afraid it's all we have at his point. Barring a sudden barrage of speech from your direction. Improbable. At best.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, so, silent contemplation it is. Mysterious button... Sorry. Sorry. Silence. Do not speak. In the silence. Let the silence descend. Here it comes. One hundred percent silence. From now. By the way, if you come up with any ideas, do flag them up. Don't feel you have to stay quiet because I've said absolute silence. So if you come up with an idea, mention it. Otherwise, absolute silence starting... Now.
Listens:
1714
Who:
Wheatley
Look at that, it's growing right up into the ceiling. The whole place is probably overrun with potatoes at this point. At least you won't starve, though.
Listens:
1516
Who:
Wheatley
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
969
Who:
Wheatley
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
553
Who:
Wheatley
HA! The tube's broken! We can ride it straight to her!
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
This place is huge.
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
And we're only seeing the top layer. It goes down for miles.
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
All sealed off years ago, of course.
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
1096
Who:
Wheatley
Pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out!
Listens:
2759
Who:
Wheatley
Here, come and have a look out the window. It's good.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
Go on, just walk up to the window and take a look out.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
It's interesting. You won't regret it. I promise.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Just... have a look through the old window.
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
Just glass. Transparent. Smooth. Not going to hurt you. Have a look.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Walk up to the window. Take a look out.
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
Aggh! I'm going the wrong way!
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
Woooo! I KNEW this would be fun. They told me it wasn't fun at all, and I BELIEVED 'em! Ah! I'm loving this! Whale of a time...
Listens:
555
Who:
Wheatley
This should take us right to her. I can't believe I'm finally doing this!
Listens:
247
Who:
Wheatley
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on now. I might not have thought this next part COMPLETELY through.
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
Get to HER! I'll find you!
Listens:
252
Who:
Wheatley
Ugh!
Listens:
277
Who:
Wheatley
Agh!
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Enh!
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
Agh!
Listens:
274
Who:
Wheatley
Ow!
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Gah!
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Ooagh!
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
Ungh!
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
GAH!
Listens:
433
Who:
Wheatley
Aggggh!
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
414
Who:
Wheatley
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
1083
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
691
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
655
Who:
Wheatley
I'm--do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
695
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
Whoa!
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
There should be a portal device on that podium over there.
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
I can't see it though... Maybe it fell off. Do you want to go and have a quick look?
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Hey hey! You made it!
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
It's alright. No, go on, just have a look about.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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