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Still a work in progress, don't judge me yet. Eventually I'd like to get them to sort of shoot fire at you, moments before crushing you. That's what I'm aiming for. But you know, small steps.
Listens:
1421
Who:
Wheatley
Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.
Listens:
30831
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotcha!
Listens:
2209
Who:
Turret
Here's an interesting fact: you're not breathing real air. It's too expensive to pump this far down. We just take carbon dioxide out of a room, freshen it up a little, and pump it back in. So you'll be breathing the same room full of air for the rest of your life. I thought that was interesting.
Listens:
4616
Who:
GLaDOS
Lucky for you two, while I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
Listens:
260
Who:
GLaDOS
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
267
Who:
GLaDOS
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
691
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
five
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Stop doing that! All you need to do is open the Vault door!
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
512
Who:
Defective Turret
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
533
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, look, the point is we're gonna break out of here, alright? But we can't do it yet. Look for me fifteen chambers ahead.
Listens:
264
Who:
Wheatley
Good. Now please return to your bed.
Listens:
1566
Who:
Announcer
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
Electrocution, shot, drowned, crushed, burned in goo.
Listens:
1208
Who:
GLaDOS
Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it.
Listens:
585
Who:
Core 3
What are you...
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Still nothing, let's keep moving.
Listens:
263
Who:
Wheatley
Charmless.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1559
Who:
GLaDOS
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
886
Who:
Core 3
Timid.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
I am not sure you will need him but he will be there.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
And that makes 10.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty.
Listens:
4345
Who:
Core 3
On three. Ready? One... Two...
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Bam! Bam bam bam! Take that, space.
Listens:
4074
Who:
Core 1
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. Yeah? And I'll show you something. You'll be impressed by this.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
This next test involves the Aperture Science Aerial Faith Plate. It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative: They could not. Good luck!
Listens:
2215
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2515
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you doing that just to aggravate me?
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
[clap clap]
Listens:
21081
Who:
GLaDOS
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
705
Who:
Turret
Hostile to new ideas.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
I know things look bleak, but that crazy man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons! We are going to march right back upstairs and MAKE him put me back in my body!
Listens:
4305
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
475
Who:
Wheatley
Let's do it again! Pick me up again!
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
Not a problem. I'll make an exit.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
We are?
Listens:
635
Who:
Core 1
Incoherent.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?
Listens:
1548
Who:
Wheatley
The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
893
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Still not working.
Listens:
680
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue, I wouldn't have trusted Orange in that course either.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Listens:
8485
Who:
GLaDOS
What, exactly, is wrong with being adopted?
Listens:
1153
Who:
GLaDOS
Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
Listens:
1066
Who:
Core 3
Anyway, look, we're really close to busting out, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
It would compromise the test to divulge individual scores. However, I can tell you at least one of you is doing very, very well.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Your ping tool can also be used to indicate to your partner where you would like them to place their portal.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! But I did find something. Reminds me: I've got a big surprise for you two. Seriously. Look forward to it.
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
497
Who:
GLaDOS
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
I agree, Blue. That was entertaining.
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
I have to agree. Blue is penalized 75 science collaboration points.
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
And we're only seeing the top layer. It goes down for miles.
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
Come here, space. I have a secret for you. No, come closer.
Listens:
1835
Who:
Core 1
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
466
Who:
Wheatley
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
738
Who:
Core 3
Hurry!
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Participates unconstructively. Obviously a time-waster.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
It's happening sooner than I expected.
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought you'd be faster at this, but I can appreciate the desire to stop and smell the testing. That other scent you smell? That's the stench of my utter disappointment in you.
Listens:
1547
Who:
GLaDOS
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
540
Who:
Core 2
I'm in space.
Listens:
1840
Who:
Core 1
Excellent. You’re both doing very well.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open.
Listens:
3561
Who:
Announcer
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
1057
Who:
Defective Turret
GET IN!
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
If Blue had said those things about me, Blue would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
Are we in space yet? What's the hold-up? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE.
Listens:
1523
Who:
Core 1
I, uh... don't have any bullets. Are you gonna give me any bullets? Are the bullets up there?
Listens:
4348
Who:
Defective Turret
I blame myself.
Listens:
1138
Who:
Turret
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
609
Who:
Defective Turret
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
611
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, I can see it! The feeder tube's just in the next room!
Listens:
259
Who:
Wheatley
Let go of me!
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
It worked!
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
No!
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Door?
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
You've probably figured it out by now, but I don't need you anymore.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
There's no turret in it... Maybe the system stores a backup image?
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
I am!
Listens:
3004
Who:
Caroline
Manipulative.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Grab it and attach it to him!
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
It says this next test was designed by one of Aperture's Nobel prize winners. It doesn't say what the prize was for. Well, I know it wasn't for Being Immune To Neurotoxin.
Listens:
1180
Who:
GLaDOS
Anxious.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
If we start making a list of things that aren't here, we could be here all night. You know, pens for instance. Let's stick with things we can see. Not stuff that isn't here.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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