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Portal 2
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TF2 Music
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Designed this test myself. It's a little bit difficult.
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! But when I DO test... ohhhhh, man alive! Nothing feels better. It's just... why I've gotta test, I've gotta test!
Listens:
1732
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, you go first.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Atmosphere. Black holes. Astronauts. Nebulas. Jupiter. The Big Dipper.
Listens:
2643
Who:
Core 1
Critical error
Listens:
12383
Who:
Turret
I AM NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
7258
Who:
Wheatley
For many of you, I realize 60 dollars is an unprecedented windfall, so don't go spending it all on... I don't know. Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?
Listens:
2034
Who:
Cave Johnson
Now, we just need you to release the humans from their imprisonment.
Listens:
255
Who:
GLaDOS
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
On second thought we don't have the time, just look at how much better you are than blue.
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sleeping.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
976
Who:
Core 1
Really, not even humans do that anymore.
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
We made it we made it we made it we made it...
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah. Clickety click click. Right on the money.
Listens:
3114
Who:
Defective Turret
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Pop a portal on that wall behind me there, and I'll meet you on the other side of the room.
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
You're saying to yourself, why should I jump into the pit? I'll tell you why. Guess who's down there? Your parents! You're not adopted after all! It's your natural parents down there in the pit. Should have mentioned it before. But I didn't. So jump on down and reunite with mommy and daddy.
Listens:
2821
Who:
Wheatley
We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: it's a lively one, and it does NOT like the human skeleton.
Listens:
2342
Who:
Cave Johnson
You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open.
Listens:
3469
Who:
Announcer
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
489
Who:
Core 2
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
409
Who:
Defective Turret
Fantastic.
Listens:
822
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, down those stairs, please?
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
1039
Who:
Cave Johnson
Help!
Listens:
793
Who:
Turret
Even humans, as stupid as they are, would say you look stupid when you do that.
Listens:
578
Who:
GLaDOS
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
922
Who:
GLaDOS
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
It shouldn't be hard to stay alive long enough to find him.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you get out?
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
We all agree you should stop.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Non-lethal as ever.
Listens:
826
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay! Keep your eye on the turret line, I'm gonna go and hack the door open.
Listens:
265
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
1036
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
929
Who:
Wheatley
Really? Okay.
Listens:
972
Who:
GLaDOS
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you understand what I'm saying? Just tell me 'Yes'.
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
Let's try this again. Try to make your way across the machinery.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
In order to escape, we're going to have to go through HER chamber.
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Just get in the lift. We'll iron out the details as we go.
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
NO!
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh... Wha- What happened?
Listens:
1379
Who:
Wheatley
Yes it is! We can use it to get out of here!
Listens:
261
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, well, alright. Just do your idea and then come straight back.
Listens:
265
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see it anywhere? I can't see it anywhere. Uh. Tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on.
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
457
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeghh!
Listens:
524
Who:
Wheatley
Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
Listens:
623
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, this is taking too long. I'll just tell you how to solve the test.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
See nothing bad happened.
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
You're angry. I know it. 'She’s tested me too hard.' Boo hoo. I don't suppose you ever stopped whining long enough to reflect on your own shortcomings, though, did you?
Listens:
5067
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, that's right! Still defective!
Listens:
806
Who:
Defective Turret
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
932
Who:
Announcer
Go on. Get in.
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious!
Listens:
67556
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
396
Who:
Defective Turret
Hostile to new ideas.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggh! I'm going the wrong way!
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
Warning! Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.
Listens:
4786
Who:
Announcer
Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
She's the backbone of this facility. Pretty as a postcard, too. Sorry, fellas. She's married. To science.
Listens:
1566
Who:
Cave Johnson
For safety.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Run, for goodness sake!
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
454
Who:
GLaDOS
While teamwork is needed to complete these tests, I am not sure I trust the two of you together.
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
So... you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST... FINE.
Listens:
655
Who:
Wheatley
The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million. Bought 'em anyway. Ground 'em up, mixed em into a gel.
Listens:
17725
Who:
Cave Johnson
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
529
Who:
Wheatley
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
889
Who:
GLaDOS
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
Is it the lack of mirrors in test chambers that encourages you to do this?
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
406
Who:
Defective Turret
There's another wall over here!
Listens:
252
Who:
Wheatley
Are we in space yet? What's the hold-up? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE.
Listens:
1495
Who:
Core 1
Dang!
Listens:
678
Who:
Defective Turret
I am NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
14396
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
551
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop flailing around like an incompetent.
Listens:
1184
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. In fact, you did so well, I'm going to note this on your file, in the commendations section. Oh, there's lots of room here. 'Did.... well. ... Enough.'
Listens:
4751
Who:
GLaDOS
Today's Security Code is: 5,33,41,18
Listens:
6636
Who:
Announcer
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
You are doing wonderfully.
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
412
Who:
GLaDOS
It's a paradox! There IS no answer.
Listens:
4467
Who:
GLaDOS
For the sake of this test, I will pretend to be your partner.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
1534
Who:
Turret
four
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
Enough! I told you not to put these cores on me. But you don't listen, do you? Quiet. All the time. Quietly not listening to a word I say. Judging me. Silently. The worst kind.
Listens:
1332
Who:
Wheatley
Your eagerness to test pleases me. Your inane gesturing does not.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
I think after that display, we should take a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
The escape lift. Just there. Come on.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
I’m on fire ow.
Listens:
4839
Who:
Turret
I’m scared!
Listens:
703
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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