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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Are you alive down there?
Listens:
439
Who:
Wheatley
Might want to just pick me up.
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
Programmed in one last tremor, for old time's sake.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
I'll interpret that gesture to mean that you want me to become even more vindictive toward you.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
But just work with me.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
5860
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
911
Who:
Defective Turret
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. Yeah? And I'll show you something. You'll be impressed by this.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!
Listens:
372047
Who:
Core 1
That isn't science.
Listens:
2581
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, I certainly expected more from you.
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
I was getting SO lonely down here. It's good to finally hear someone else's voice. I'm kidding, of course. God, I hate you.
Listens:
19875
Who:
GLaDOS
Owwww!
Listens:
926
Who:
Turret
Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!
Listens:
657
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha ha ha ha, good one.
Listens:
2285
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're dying, but not dead, stomp once. If you're dead, obviously no stomps. And two stomps if you're not dead. Lemme just run through that again: If you're dying but not dead stomp just once. If you're dead, obviously you won't be stomping. And if you're not dead, give me two stomps.
Listens:
1173
Who:
Wheatley
I was confident you could finish.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
Good morning. You have been in suspension for -FIFTY- days. In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.
Listens:
10066
Who:
Announcer
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6192
Who:
Cave Johnson
This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]
Listens:
11471
Who:
Announcer
I'm no psychiatrist, but coming from a bunch of eggheads who wouldn't recognize the thrill of danger if it walked up and snapped their little pink bras, that sounds like 'projection'.
Listens:
2013
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hello!
Listens:
12488
Who:
Turret
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
558
Who:
Core 3
Please avoid alerting active turrets or being shot by active turrets.
Listens:
888
Who:
Announcer
Searching
Listens:
902
Who:
Turret
Nooooo. No, I don't think it is. I think you're wrong.
Listens:
2111
Who:
Wheatley
Click click click! Still defective!
Listens:
2304
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright, off you go!
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. What you're doing there is jumping. You just... you just jumped. But nevermind. Say 'Apple'. 'Aaaapple.'
Listens:
3581
Who:
Wheatley
Good Job.
Listens:
662
Who:
GLaDOS
Even I was created with a imperfection, I was given too much empathy with human suffering.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
I consider that a failing, by the way.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
1024
Who:
Wheatley
Now, escape pod... escape pod...
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
395
Who:
Defective Turret
In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this.
Listens:
1998
Who:
Core 3
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
I’m scared!
Listens:
739
Who:
Turret
Briefly.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
You two aren't lost are you?
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
855
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
847
Who:
GLaDOS
You're saying to yourself, why should I jump into the pit? I'll tell you why. Guess who's down there? Your parents! You're not adopted after all! It's your natural parents down there in the pit. Should have mentioned it before. But I didn't. So jump on down and reunite with mommy and daddy.
Listens:
2916
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come on!
Listens:
553
Who:
Defective Turret
So: there's PLENTY of time to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
1576
Who:
GLaDOS
I swear I know him...
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
3766
Who:
GLaDOS
You only failed
Listens:
604
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange is penalized
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1001
Who:
GLaDOS
I am not sure you will need him but he will be there.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
425
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't like space. Don't like space.
Listens:
3840
Who:
Core 1
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
524
Who:
Defective Turret
Oops. You trapped yourself. I guess that's it then. Thanks for testing. You may as well lie down and get acclimated to the being dead position.
Listens:
1436
Who:
GLaDOS
Not done yet. You've still got to get through the door. Need to get through the door there.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
What's happening on your side, anything?
Listens:
274
Who:
Wheatley
Hell, put her in my computer. I don't care.
Listens:
1615
Who:
Cave Johnson
You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
Listens:
5640
Who:
Announcer
The humans can't free themselves.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought going back to these old tests would satisfy me. But try as you might to fail this next test, I still won't be satisfied.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Atmosphere. Black holes. Astronauts. Nebulas. Jupiter. The Big Dipper.
Listens:
2718
Who:
Core 1
Lucky for you two, while I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material.
Listens:
1838
Who:
Core 3
Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
YES YES! IN YOUR FACE! I GOT YO-ah, nope.
Listens:
4200
Who:
Wheatley
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
787
Who:
Wheatley
Can't breathe...
Listens:
891
Who:
Turret
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine, 500 point penalty for Blue.
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
1137
Who:
Wheatley
We made it we made it we made it. Space!
Listens:
3312
Who:
Core 1
I’m on fire ow.
Listens:
5019
Who:
Turret
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
793
Who:
Wheatley
Your vitals remain well within testing norms, so there is no need to worry about sudden death from collaborative shock syndrome.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, look. There's a deer! You probably can't see it. Get closer.
Listens:
1232
Who:
GLaDOS
Is it the lack of mirrors in test chambers that encourages you to do this?
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
550
Who:
Core 2
Egotistical.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
1060
Who:
GLaDOS
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
803
Who:
Turret
There should be a portal device on that podium over there.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
2931
Who:
Turret
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
773
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, we just need you to release the humans from their imprisonment.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
447
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey, be a sport lady, and just tell him I killed you.
Listens:
2675
Who:
Defective Turret
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
Aw, come on!
Listens:
667
Who:
Defective Turret
Look, even if you think we're still enemies, we're enemies with a common interest: Revenge.
Listens:
855
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, quick recap: We are escaping! That's what's happening now: we're escaping. So you're doing great. Just keep running!
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Here we go...
Listens:
1206
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
939
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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