Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Yeah!
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
You're better than that.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
6530
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
608
Who:
GLaDOS
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
758
Who:
Core 2
So twisty you might even call it spinning. MOO HOO HA HA HA Ignore the laughter. Nothing to worry about.
Listens:
1210
Who:
Wheatley
Well, how about now? NOW WHO'S A MORON?
Listens:
1789
Who:
Wheatley
What do you think?
Listens:
1306
Who:
Wheatley
Well done!
Listens:
621
Who:
Turret
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
457
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Our handiwork. Shouldn't laugh. They do feel pain. Of a sort. All simulated. But real enough for them I suppose.
Listens:
629
Who:
Wheatley
And off we go.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
Can't. See. A. Thing.
Listens:
1317
Who:
Defective Turret
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
730
Who:
Wheatley
There should be a portal device on that podium over there.
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
938
Who:
Defective Turret
Mr. Johnson...
Listens:
1344
Who:
Caroline
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
708
Who:
Core 3
Test chamber completed. In the interest of science, the Enrichment Center proudly presents the following list of numbers: Nine. Seven. Fifty. Three. Seven hundred and seven.
Listens:
1263
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
414
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello?
Listens:
2451
Who:
Turret
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Polymerase I polypeptide A is a human gene.
Listens:
585
Who:
Core 3
Resting
Listens:
624
Who:
Turret
It's probably nothing. Keep testing while I look for a way out.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
Moody.
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
The plural of surgeon general is surgeons general. The past tense of surgeons general is surgeonsed general.
Listens:
1205
Who:
Core 3
Orange is penalized
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice.
Listens:
1434
Who:
Core 3
That's funny, I don't feel corrupt. In fact, I feel pretty good.
Listens:
1556
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what, this plan is so good, I'm going to give you a sporting chance and turn off the neurotoxin. I'm joking. Of course. Goodbye.
Listens:
1444
Who:
Wheatley
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
598
Who:
GLaDOS
This is not good.
Listens:
1969
Who:
Turret
We have to get you out of that room!
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
688
Who:
Core 2
Blue, now you're just being cruel. Blue receives 25 science collaboration points.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
447
Who:
Wheatley
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
No A.I. can resist thinking about them.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Aw... hates Mondays.
Listens:
1517
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
1462
Who:
Announcer
Rgggh!
Listens:
480
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
533
Who:
Core 3
Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.
Listens:
1230
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
1789
Who:
Wheatley
Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?
Listens:
1150
Who:
GLaDOS
Feeds off the misery of others.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Today, you will be testing with a partner.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
If you had underwear? And a butt? I would pull your underwear... right up your butt.
Listens:
25766
Who:
Core 2
Okay. What you're doing there is jumping. You just... you just jumped. But nevermind. Say 'Apple'. 'Aaaapple.'
Listens:
3461
Who:
Wheatley
There's some sort of control room up top. Let's go investigate.
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Turn around. I'll only be a second. If you don't mind.
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!
Listens:
9646
Who:
GLaDOS
I love space.
Listens:
963
Who:
Core 1
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, nice potato!
Listens:
97075
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
Listens:
6095
Who:
GLaDOS
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
753
Who:
Turret
Hey! Squeaky-voice! How'd I do?
Listens:
838
Who:
Defective Turret
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent.
Listens:
819
Who:
GLaDOS
You look great, by the way. Very healthy.
Listens:
1495
Who:
GLaDOS
Anxious.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi there!
Listens:
478
Who:
Defective Turret
Did my hint help? It did, didn't it? You know, if any of our supervisors had been immune to neurotoxin, they'd be FURIOUS with us right now.
Listens:
1485
Who:
GLaDOS
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
You have to get to the catwalk behind me!
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, get moving.
Listens:
264
Who:
Wheatley
Space space space. Going. Going there. Okay. I love you, space.
Listens:
1367
Who:
Core 1
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
793
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
970
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! But I did find something. Reminds me: I've got a big surprise for you two. Seriously. Look forward to it.
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
You can also feel free to relax for up to 20 minutes in the waiting room, which is a damn sight more comfortable than the park benches most of you were sleeping on when we found you.
Listens:
1116
Who:
Cave Johnson
Yes indeed. Yes indeed.
Listens:
2120
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
757
Who:
Core 3
Great job, astronaut, war hero, and/or Olympian! With your help, we're gonna [tape cuts out]
Listens:
1880
Who:
Cave Johnson
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
I'm not defective!
Listens:
1267
Who:
Defective Turret
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Does it actually make you feel good when you do that? Because it's not impressive. Noone's impressed. It's just glass, isn't it. Fragile. A baby could smash one of them. It's not impressive.
Listens:
631
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
552
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
1285
Who:
GLaDOS
There we go. I wanted to talk to you for a moment, if I may.
Listens:
274
Who:
Wheatley
Yes Orange, Blue did act like a fool just now.
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin. Something I failed to notice before, an intangible quality that makes their test results... significant.
Listens:
1879
Who:
GLaDOS
Two
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Walk up to the window. Take a look out.
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
Critical error
Listens:
12383
Who:
Turret
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
5972
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hello?
Listens:
1077
Who:
Turret
Just stop flailing around like an incompetent.
Listens:
1184
Who:
GLaDOS
Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material.
Listens:
1796
Who:
Core 3
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
973
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
