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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Hey! How's it going? Here I am again!
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
574
Who:
GLaDOS
You asked for this!
Listens:
351
Who:
Defective Turret
It's alright! Everything's good. I just invented some more tests!
Listens:
266
Who:
Wheatley
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you were wondering, you do not need to be crushed to solve this test.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!
Listens:
34929
Who:
Core 1
You may as well have a little rest, actually, while I work on it.
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
346
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
750
Who:
Wheatley
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
I knew it was gonna be cool being in charge of everything, but... wow, this is cool!
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
584
Who:
Core 3
Hey.
Listens:
608
Who:
Core 1
Always sleeping.
Listens:
511
Who:
GLaDOS
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
509
Who:
Core 3
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
609
Who:
Defective Turret
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
513
Who:
Core 2
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
466
Who:
Core 2
clickclickclick
Listens:
512
Who:
Defective Turret
Remember when I told you that you were the only subjects to pass the calibration tests?
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6111
Who:
Cave Johnson
If we start making a list of things that aren't here, we could be here all night. You know, pens for instance. Let's stick with things we can see. Not stuff that isn't here.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.
Listens:
1215
Who:
Core 3
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-DUN! DUN DUN! Dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-DUN! DUN DUN! nananaDUNDUNDUN dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
Listens:
4220
Who:
Core 2
Do either of you feel like laughing?
Listens:
1250
Who:
GLaDOS
Back again!
Listens:
934
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you know where I was?
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, shut up!
Listens:
2224
Who:
Core 2
No sense of humor.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
415
Who:
Defective Turret
Good.
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange receives
Listens:
260
Who:
GLaDOS
You had to play bloody cat and mouse, didn't you? While people were trying to work. Yes, well, now we're all going to pay the price. BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BLOODY DIE.
Listens:
2266
Who:
Wheatley
I'm in space.
Listens:
2431
Who:
Core 1
See you soon!
Listens:
815
Who:
Turret
What about that camera?
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
497
Who:
GLaDOS
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
624
Who:
GLaDOS
Aw. Bless your little primate brain. I'm not actually in the room with you. Am I? Technology. It's complicated. Can't hurt the big god face.
Listens:
1677
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
1002
Who:
Core 1
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent! You're a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them?
Listens:
3260
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
Coming! Coming! Don't start yet!
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
Are you scared to save those humans?
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down.
Listens:
832
Who:
GLaDOS
The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1407
Who:
Core 3
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
536
Who:
Core 2
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
768
Who:
Core 3
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
1008
Who:
Announcer
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
755
Who:
GLaDOS
Caroline... why do I know this woman? Maybe I killed her? Or-
Listens:
3536
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm done.
Listens:
1277
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
517
Who:
Core 2
Watching you try to sabotage one other, I'm amazed you're still on friendly terms.
Listens:
265
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
Your test times show you are going too slowly.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Even I was created with a imperfection, I was given too much empathy with human suffering.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
You know how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a belated birthday present for you. Well... more of a belated birthday medical procedure. Well. Technically, it's a medical EXPERIMENT. What's important is, it's a present.
Listens:
2919
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
913
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, I like this guy.
Listens:
1384
Who:
GLaDOS
You're okay! Great! Come on!
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Just as mementos, though...
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
886
Who:
GLaDOS
'Caw! Caw!' Oh, look! There's a bird out here! A Lovely bird. Gorgeous plumage. Majestic. Won't be here long. A lovely bird like that. Once in a lifetime opportunity to see a lovely bird like that. Lovely plumage.
Listens:
4048
Who:
Wheatley
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
707
Who:
Wheatley
If I stop watching, I'm sure you'll get bored of this.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Probably.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
485
Who:
Wheatley
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
984
Who:
Cave Johnson
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
Whoa!
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
504
Who:
Core 2
I’m on fire ow.
Listens:
4981
Who:
Turret
Facial grimacing.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
It's probably nothing. Keep testing while I look for a way out.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
I know! I know, I wouldn't have believed it either.
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
395
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
628
Who:
Defective Turret
HA! The tube's broken! We can ride it straight to her!
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
Click click click! Still defective!
Listens:
2251
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
522
Who:
Defective Turret
The lock is looking for two humans.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell you what, here's a plan. Let's just both... continue contemplating... in absolute silence...
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself.
Listens:
3058
Who:
Core 3
Good, that's still working.
Listens:
1918
Who:
GLaDOS
eight
Listens:
522
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop with the waves.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing.
Listens:
6628
Who:
Defective Turret
I think they wanted to punish them by not allowing me to include them in testing.
Listens:
265
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
1096
Who:
GLaDOS
This door's actually pretty complicated.
Listens:
259
Who:
Wheatley
It won't.
Listens:
267
Who:
GLaDOS
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
We all agree you should stop.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Please ping a white portalable surface.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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