Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
'Goodbye, Caroline.'
Listens:
24263
Who:
Caroline
I don't want this!
Listens:
19484
Who:
Caroline
You will need him for the final track.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
We're back!
Listens:
2082
Who:
Defective Turret
That conversion gel has been sitting in that pipe going stagnant for years. You'll probably get botulism portalling through it like that.
Listens:
430
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
827
Who:
Core 3
You know what? Just get in the lift. We'll iron out the details as we go.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
There. Try it now.
Listens:
520
Who:
GLaDOS
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
1163
Who:
GLaDOS
You won't regret this!
Listens:
694
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm fine!
Listens:
1249
Who:
Turret
Who ARE you?
Listens:
3627
Who:
Turret
Just stop it already.
Listens:
632
Who:
GLaDOS
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
494
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, well, alright. Just do your idea and then come straight back.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
'Caw! Caw!' Oh, look! There's a bird out here! A Lovely bird. Gorgeous plumage. Majestic. Won't be here long. A lovely bird like that. Once in a lifetime opportunity to see a lovely bird like that. Lovely plumage.
Listens:
4244
Who:
Wheatley
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
1276
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
569
Who:
Defective Turret
We have to get you out of there!
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! There you are. Great. Let me just get rid of this catwalk.
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
632
Who:
Defective Turret
Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look.
Listens:
1578
Who:
Core 1
Something’s wrong...
Listens:
936
Who:
Turret
To do that, the tests were nothing more than 5 minutes of them walking followed by me praising them for another 10 minutes on how well they walked.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
Watching you try to sabotage one other, I'm amazed you're still on friendly terms.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
705
Who:
GLaDOS
Try something.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me
Listens:
2082
Who:
Turret
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
534
Who:
GLaDOS
Since making test participation mandatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatically. Employee retention, however, has not.
Listens:
3004
Who:
Cave Johnson
Don't press the button!
Listens:
783
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
1040
Who:
Core 1
This isn't that hard.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
1136
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
Listens:
10082
Who:
Cave Johnson
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
871
Who:
Core 2
One
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
Critical error
Listens:
13712
Who:
Turret
If Blue had said those things about me, Blue would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Getting bored of space.
Listens:
6238
Who:
Core 1
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
595
Who:
GLaDOS
Lacks empathy.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
There it is.
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
1140
Who:
Defective Turret
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, even if you think we're still enemies, we're enemies with a common interest: Revenge.
Listens:
924
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are
Listens:
2069
Who:
Turret
I'm not defective!
Listens:
2350
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, that's sad. But impressive. Maybe they worked at the phone company.
Listens:
3505
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
985
Who:
Core 2
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
454
Who:
Wheatley
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
1267
Who:
Wheatley
No! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Listens:
74171
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry I'm absolutely guaranteeing you 100 percent that it's this way... Oh it's not this way.
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
This is not good.
Listens:
2171
Who:
Turret
If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim.
Listens:
1519
Who:
Announcer
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
AHH!
Listens:
1407
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
I honestly, TRULY didn't think you'd fall for that.
Listens:
1877
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
Listens:
1186
Who:
Core 3
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
SPAAACCCCCE!
Listens:
588809
Who:
Core 1
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us.
Listens:
1729
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
980
Who:
GLaDOS
It's... It's moving up.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Press it! Press the button!
Listens:
1417
Who:
GLaDOS
Non-defective turret testing active.
Listens:
933
Who:
Announcer
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1677
Who:
Core 1
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
816
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to space.
Listens:
1207
Who:
Core 1
Warning: Core corruption at 50 percent.
Listens:
8312
Who:
Announcer
Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.
Listens:
1409
Who:
GLaDOS
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6535
Who:
Cave Johnson
Noted.
Listens:
754
Who:
Turret
What are you doing? Put me back this instant.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
808
Who:
Core 3
We are going to shut down her turret production line, turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her.
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway. Just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli. Do not know what all the fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one?
Listens:
982
Who:
Wheatley
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
718
Who:
GLaDOS
[cough] As a result, you may have heard we're gonna phase out human testing. There's still a few things left to wrap up, though.
Listens:
1993
Who:
Cave Johnson
There's another wall over here!
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?
Listens:
1705
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on in there?
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
1172
Who:
Wheatley
Hell, put her in my computer. I don't care.
Listens:
1660
Who:
Cave Johnson
The likelihood of you dying within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1637
Who:
Core 3
This place is huge.
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
491
Who:
Wheatley
Right on that stick over there. Just put me right on it.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Dispensing product
Listens:
1662
Who:
Turret
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
520
Who:
Wheatley
It flew off.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
I am!
Listens:
1396
Who:
Caroline
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!