Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Ohh. You're gonna laugh at this. You know how I said there was absolutely no way to get here without going through her lair and her potentially killing us? Could have gone through here. [laughs] My fault. Bit of luck for us that she wasn't switched on.
Listens:
1393
Who:
Wheatley
I give you a score of 3.4 for style and 10 for being annoying.
Listens:
1241
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
Substitute core accepted.
Listens:
1146
Who:
Announcer
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
840
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
They say the old caretaker of this place went absolutely crazy. Chopped up his entire staff. Of robots. All of them robots. They say at night you can still hear the screams. Of their replicas. All of them functionally indistinguishable from the originals. No memory of the incident. Nobody knows what they’re screaming about. Absolutely terrifying. Though obviously not paranormal in any meaningful way.
Listens:
17152
Who:
Wheatley
I am not sure you will need him but he will be there.
Listens:
238
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, come on!
Listens:
410
Who:
Defective Turret
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
919
Who:
Core 3
The upcoming tests require you to work together as a team.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
Get mad!
Listens:
31291
Who:
Turret
Hey! Moron!
Listens:
21837
Who:
GLaDOS
Follow the feeder tube to the generator room! I'll meet you there.
Listens:
235
Who:
Wheatley
I'm no psychiatrist, but coming from a bunch of eggheads who wouldn't recognize the thrill of danger if it walked up and snapped their little pink bras, that sounds like 'projection'.
Listens:
1899
Who:
Cave Johnson
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
582
Who:
Wheatley
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
942
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, well, alright. Just do your idea and then come straight back.
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
Goodnight
Listens:
5456
Who:
Turret
I'm pretty sure we're going the right way. Just to reassure you...
Listens:
241
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, that's long enough. Are you dead yet? How about now?
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
The good news is... well, none so far, to be honest. I'll get back to you on that.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
708
Who:
GLaDOS
Undermines others.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought we could test like we used to. But I'm discovering things about you that I never saw before. We can't ever go back to the way it was.
Listens:
6621
Who:
GLaDOS
You are about to get me killed.
Listens:
1477
Who:
Core 3
You're saying to yourself, why should I jump into the pit? I'll tell you why. Guess who's down there? Your parents! You're not adopted after all! It's your natural parents down there in the pit. Should have mentioned it before. But I didn't. So jump on down and reunite with mommy and daddy.
Listens:
2723
Who:
Wheatley
Grab it and attach it to him!
Listens:
262
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2315
Who:
GLaDOS
Helloooo?
Listens:
997
Who:
Wheatley
Dull expression.
Listens:
255
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
827
Who:
Wheatley
You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson. I thought you were my greatest enemy. When all along you were my best friend.
Listens:
1708
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you two doing?
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space.
Listens:
7819
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
446
Who:
Wheatley
Lacks confidence.
Listens:
235
Who:
GLaDOS
Since, I never expected you to make it this far, I have to build this new course just for you.
Listens:
233
Who:
GLaDOS
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
488
Who:
Core 2
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
739
Who:
GLaDOS
Um. You've got a yacht. And... Boys! Loads of fellas. Hunky guys down there. Possibly even a boyfriend! Who's to say at this stage. But, a lot of good looking fellas down there. And, ah, a boy band as well! That haven't seen a woman in years. And they're not picky at all. They don't care if you've got a bit of brain damage. If you've been running around sweating. And... A farm! A pony farm! And... Just jump down, would ya?
Listens:
181970
Who:
Wheatley
Hello.
Listens:
2605
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! That's ME they're talking about!
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
Mr. Johnson...
Listens:
1253
Who:
Caroline
Crushing's too good for him. First he'll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two: Cryogenic refrigeration wing. Then TEN years in the chamber I built where all the robots scream at you. THEN I'll kill him.
Listens:
4022
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
630
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm--do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on completing that last test. But I find something troubling.
Listens:
239
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Failure...
Listens:
1575
Who:
Turret
Fact: Space does not exist.
Listens:
3951
Who:
Core 3
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
916
Who:
Core 1
Oh! Right, the escape lift! I'll call it now.
Listens:
264
Who:
Wheatley
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
[sound of pages turning] Oh, sorry. Hope that didn't disturb you just then. It was the sound of books. Pages being turned.
Listens:
1238
Who:
Wheatley
Remember when I told you that you were the only subjects to pass the calibration tests?
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
3312
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhh... Wha- What happened?
Listens:
1312
Who:
Wheatley
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
730
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
455
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
413
Who:
Wheatley
This is not good.
Listens:
1869
Who:
Turret
Did you know we originally used these cameras to capture moments of intense pain and agony in test subjects?
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
485
Who:
Core 2
Let me give you a clue, it is the one thing you can't do.
Listens:
235
Who:
GLaDOS
Firing
Listens:
624
Who:
Turret
Illegal operation
Listens:
1040
Who:
Turret
I blame myself.
Listens:
1089
Who:
Turret
Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it.
Listens:
547
Who:
Core 3
Ohhhhh, yes. Ohhhh. Well done.
Listens:
4122
Who:
Wheatley
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
417
Who:
Wheatley
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
1641
Who:
Caroline
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, Blue and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
Listens:
233
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
1010
Who:
Wheatley
Ow. I hate this bird.
Listens:
1795
Who:
GLaDOS
That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?
Listens:
1132
Who:
Cave Johnson
And here I thought this room was dangerously unlethal.
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
634
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent.
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
440
Who:
GLaDOS
Nonononononono!
Listens:
69048
Who:
GLaDOS
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
667
Who:
GLaDOS
Is it the lack of mirrors in test chambers that encourages you to do this?
Listens:
239
Who:
GLaDOS
I saw it. It was an accident.
Listens:
829
Who:
Turret
Dad! I'm in space! [low-pitched 'space' voice] I'm proud of you, son. [normal voice] Dad, are you space? [low-pitched 'space' voice] Yes. Now we are a family again.
Listens:
449490
Who:
Core 1
For god's sake, you're BOXES with LEGS! It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?
Listens:
5687
Who:
Wheatley
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
6263
Who:
Announcer
Hah! It bloody worked! I hacked it! Hacked. Properly. Properly hacked. Ha ha ha!
Listens:
1132
Who:
Wheatley
That's horrible.
Listens:
643
Who:
GLaDOS
OW.
Listens:
651
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
397
Who:
Defective Turret
Space.
Listens:
924
Who:
Core 1
You have excellent aim!
Listens:
640
Who:
Turret
This time...
Listens:
464
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
