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Portal 2
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Pshh. Really? And do what, exactly?
Listens:
627
Who:
Wheatley
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
Go! Go go go!
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
1107
Who:
Wheatley
Miss you!
Listens:
765
Who:
GLaDOS
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
In just a moment, the word 'blah' will be repeated over and over again. If at some point you hear a number rather than the word 'blah', ignore it, it is not important.
Listens:
1904
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't make lemonade!
Listens:
21247
Who:
Turret
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
774
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're hearing this, it means you're taking a long time on the catwalks between tests. The lab boys say that might be a fear reaction.
Listens:
1586
Who:
Cave Johnson
We're running out of time...
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't listen to her! It IS true that you don't have the qualifications. But you've got something more important than that. A finger, with which to press that button, so that she won't kill us.
Listens:
1380
Who:
Wheatley
Let me give you a clue, it is the one thing you can't do.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Is it the lack of mirrors in test chambers that encourages you to do this?
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh dear.
Listens:
913
Who:
Turret
Calibrating Orange's weight...
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day.
Listens:
3296
Who:
Cave Johnson
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
520
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
The square root of rope is string.
Listens:
1627
Who:
Core 3
Congratulations on completing that test. But something seems off.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
6288
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
1058
Who:
Core 1
Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me.
Listens:
652865
Who:
Cave Johnson
This place is going to blow up if I don't get back in my body!
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
1940
Who:
Caroline
Press it!
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
The likelihood of you dying within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1630
Who:
Core 3
Come on, solve it!
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent.
Listens:
891
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't be a stranger!
Listens:
407
Who:
Defective Turret
So. If you've got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
To facilitate collaboration, both of you have been equipped with a ping tool.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
I am sure it happened by accident, but why don't you put it back in the player?
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't think I want to go through that again.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
These things happen.
Listens:
3475
Who:
Turret
You can't give up now.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
519
Who:
Core 2
Orange, I certainly expected more from you.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
3816
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
489
Who:
Defective Turret
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
669
Who:
Defective Turret
I have a surprise waiting for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint: It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time.
Listens:
885
Who:
GLaDOS
Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious, as humans.
Listens:
1714
Who:
Core 3
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
555
Who:
GLaDOS
Antagonistic. I don't know about that.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
This is not good.
Listens:
2145
Who:
Turret
It flew off.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm speaking in an accent that is beyond her range of hearing...
Listens:
7027
Who:
Wheatley
Problems with authority.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
2082
Who:
GLaDOS
Please ping a white portalable surface.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m shocked you’d say that, Blue. If you killed your partner the test—I’m sorry. Wrong feed. Carry on, Orange. Good work.
Listens:
1265
Who:
GLaDOS
Come closer.
Listens:
685
Who:
Turret
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now!
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
Done! Hacked!
Listens:
613
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, being the last one standing is not the goal.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
539
Who:
Wheatley
Avoids responsibility.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
SPAAACCCCCE!
Listens:
586924
Who:
Core 1
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
622
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work getting this far, future-starter! That said, if you are simple-minded, old, or irradiated in such a way that the future should not start with you, please return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better-qualified for testing.
Listens:
2675
Who:
Announcer
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
533
Who:
Wheatley
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
443
Who:
Defective Turret
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
1065
Who:
Announcer
Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, is there something you would like to say?
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
Listens:
1257
Who:
GLaDOS
Why?
Listens:
2440
Who:
Turret
All sealed off years ago, of course.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
I guess quitting that course together is a sign of teamwork.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Initiating surprise in three... two... one.
Listens:
3597
Who:
GLaDOS
Malfunctioning
Listens:
1281
Who:
Turret
Heh heh heh. Alright? I don't know whether you're picking up on what I'm saying there, but...
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
769
Who:
Core 3
It won't.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
1193
Who:
Core 1
Keep moving! Just keep moving!
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Even if I am lying, what do you have to lose? You're going to die either way.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
Pop a little portal, just there, alright? Behind me. And come on through.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
She's the backbone of this facility. Pretty as a postcard, too. Sorry, fellas. She's married. To science.
Listens:
1778
Who:
Cave Johnson
It's happening sooner than I expected.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't do it.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
566
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
598
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD
Listens:
106310
Who:
Wheatley
If you're dying, but not dead, stomp once. If you're dead, obviously no stomps. And two stomps if you're not dead. Lemme just run through that again: If you're dying but not dead stomp just once. If you're dead, obviously you won't be stomping. And if you're not dead, give me two stomps.
Listens:
1258
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
Yes Mr. Johnson
Listens:
1478
Who:
Caroline
Ohhhhhh!
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
1039
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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