Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
We are only two tests away from reaching the humans, are you as excited as I am?
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
866
Who:
Core 3
This time...
Listens:
464
Who:
Defective Turret
By completing all test courses, you have achieved Level C security clearance. You may now access all testing courses and three of Aperture Science's 176 restrooms.
Listens:
1147
Who:
Announcer
You really are doing great... Chell.
Listens:
40657
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait. Careful. Let me light this jump for you
Listens:
236
Who:
Wheatley
Allright, what have we got?
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
I hardly think you're even trying with these gestures anymore.
Listens:
253
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Space. Space. Comets. Stars. Galaxies. Orion.
Listens:
1812
Who:
Core 1
This place is huge.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
That was fun, wasn't it?
Listens:
340
Who:
Defective Turret
She is a gem.
Listens:
2443
Who:
Cave Johnson
In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event.
Listens:
1541
Who:
Core 3
GET YOUR HANDES OFF ME! NO! STOP! No!
Listens:
4122
Who:
GLaDOS
Antagonistic. I don't know about that.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh trailing off] Actually, why do we have to leave right now?
Listens:
1156
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
405
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhhh, we're so close, plug me in!
Listens:
256
Who:
Wheatley
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
733
Who:
GLaDOS
Like the potato!
Listens:
176939
Who:
Defective Turret
Still. It's a better plan than exploding. Marginally.
Listens:
262
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
877
Who:
Core 2
Do you understand what I'm saying? At all? Does any of this make any sense? Just tell me, 'Yes'.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome to the enrichment center. [cough]
Listens:
5794
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
855
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
363
Who:
Defective Turret
Can't. See. A. Thing.
Listens:
1259
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you feel more human?
Listens:
611
Who:
GLaDOS
Chronically late.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
511
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
651
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
482
Who:
Wheatley
There's the exit! We're almost out of here!
Listens:
233
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
673
Who:
Defective Turret
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
524
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Feeds off the misery of others.
Listens:
251
Who:
GLaDOS
Pick me up. Let's get out of here.
Listens:
237
Who:
Wheatley
I’m shocked you’d say that, Blue. If you killed your partner the test—I’m sorry. Wrong feed. Carry on, Orange. Good work.
Listens:
1141
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
683
Who:
Wheatley
The one you risked your life to get to. So you could escape certain death. No rush.
Listens:
233
Who:
Wheatley
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
Oops.
Listens:
705
Who:
GLaDOS
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
And she will probably kill us if, um, she's awake.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Can't read.
Listens:
253
Who:
GLaDOS
Do either of you feel like laughing?
Listens:
1184
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! How's it going! I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They are REALLY small, so -ah - I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
547
Who:
Wheatley
That will give you PLENTY of time to chat.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
1047
Who:
GLaDOS
GO.
Listens:
936
Who:
GLaDOS
This time is OUR time.
Listens:
1604
Who:
Defective Turret
Only three more chambers until your big surprise! [maniacal laughter] Ohhh, that's tiring.
Listens:
1920
Who:
Wheatley
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
AHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
1449
Who:
Turret
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
457
Who:
Core 2
Is anyone there?
Listens:
7146
Who:
Turret
And what's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!
Listens:
989
Who:
Wheatley
Powerup complete.
Listens:
3125
Who:
Announcer
The situation you are in is very dangerous.
Listens:
2791
Who:
Core 3
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
457
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready for it!
Listens:
330
Who:
Defective Turret
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl-- ummm... good. Looking good, actually.
Listens:
6326
Who:
Wheatley
All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! 'I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?'
Listens:
119486
Who:
Cave Johnson
Well done! The Enrichment Center reminds you that although circumstances may appear bleak, you are not alone. All Aperture Science personality constructs will remain functional in apocalyptic, low power environments of as few as 1.1 volts.
Listens:
1964
Who:
Announcer
There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it.
Listens:
1165
Who:
Announcer
We have to split up here for a moment. Portal up to that passage and I'll see you on the other side.
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
446
Who:
Wheatley
You are the farthest ever in space. Why me, space? Because you are the best. I'm the best at space? Yes.
Listens:
20627
Who:
Core 1
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
986
Who:
Wheatley
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
582
Who:
Wheatley
Sollllve it...
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
Vent system compromised: Neurotoxin offline.
Listens:
3604
Who:
Announcer
Ohhhhhh!
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
3485
Who:
Wheatley
No, no, I'm sure it's this way. I'm definitely sure it's this way.
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
Cryptic.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1024
Who:
Wheatley
SPAAACE!
Listens:
48298
Who:
Core 1
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
4528
Who:
Turret
To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy.
Listens:
1121
Who:
Announcer
Orange, your plan is working perfectly.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
Listens:
561
Who:
Core 2
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
1003
Who:
Announcer
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
396
Who:
Wheatley
No, listen to me! Sir, I do not want this!
Listens:
17158
Who:
Caroline
Pick--would you pick me up?
Listens:
238
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
394
Who:
Defective Turret
Goodbye!
Listens:
2960
Who:
Turret
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
747
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Listens:
646
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
