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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Oh, this is just PERFECT!
Listens:
1355
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. Paradox time.
Listens:
1209
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye!
Listens:
3195
Who:
Turret
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
On three. Ready? One... Two...
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Come on! We have to go!
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Pick me up, don't forget to pick me up!
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?
Listens:
1227
Who:
Wheatley
The Space Sphere will never go to space.
Listens:
17963
Who:
Core 3
SHUT UP!
Listens:
18434
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh, now he's playing classical music.
Listens:
3632
Who:
GLaDOS
Wet blanket.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Since you are thankfully not humans, I have changed the tests to make them far more challenging and far less pointlessly fawning.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
No can do.
Listens:
356
Who:
Defective Turret
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
It's... It's moving up.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
YES YES! IN YOUR FACE! I GOT YO-ah, nope.
Listens:
4200
Who:
Wheatley
You are the farthest ever in space. Why me, space? Because you are the best. I'm the best at space? Yes.
Listens:
21633
Who:
Core 1
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh trailing off] Actually, why do we have to leave right now?
Listens:
1269
Who:
Wheatley
Stop with the waves.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you know the old formula: Comedy equals tragedy plus time. And you have been asleep for a while. So I guess it's actually pretty funny when you do the math.
Listens:
19387
Who:
GLaDOS
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
816
Who:
Wheatley
Noted.
Listens:
739
Who:
Turret
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Listens:
6252
Who:
GLaDOS
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
439
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Button. Button.
Listens:
1360
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Play it cool. Play it cool. Here come the space cops.
Listens:
5146
Who:
Core 1
The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1426
Who:
Core 3
SPAAACE!
Listens:
50710
Who:
Core 1
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space.
Listens:
8402
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful!
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, this way
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, and don't bother trying to portal out of here, because it's impossible, okay? I thought of everything.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
There you are! I was starting to get worried.
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
Interpreting vague answer as YES.
Listens:
25242
Who:
Announcer
Aggggh!
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
Let me give you a clue, it is the one thing you can't do.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves emancipation grills. Remember? I told you about them in the last test area, that did not have one.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
393
Who:
Wheatley
This should take us right to her. I can't believe I'm finally doing this!
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
I'm in space.
Listens:
1861
Who:
Core 1
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
So. How are you holding up?
Listens:
2390
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you scared to save those humans?
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Inattentive listener.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me.
Listens:
648369
Who:
Cave Johnson
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Hmm. I'm gonna have to hack the door so we can get at it.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Owww!
Listens:
943
Who:
Turret
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
557
Who:
Core 2
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Just jam me in over there.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
Blue receives
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody is going to have to repair it. No, it's okay, I'll do that too. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
698
Who:
GLaDOS
We're not safe yet. Quick! Follow the walkway.
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
787
Who:
Core 2
There's no turret in it... Maybe the system stores a backup image?
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
5315
Who:
GLaDOS
Today's Security Code is: 5,33,41,18
Listens:
7075
Who:
Announcer
Facial grimacing.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
519
Who:
Core 3
Where am I? Guess. Guess guess guess. I'm in space.
Listens:
2990
Who:
Core 1
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
430
Who:
Core 2
Ahungh.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
955
Who:
Core 3
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
544
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
764
Who:
Wheatley
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
608
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sad.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
976
Who:
Cave Johnson
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
406
Who:
Wheatley
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
7084
Who:
Wheatley
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
840
Who:
GLaDOS
Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird.
Listens:
1787
Who:
Core 3
Just get it off me...
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
I am!
Listens:
1341
Who:
Caroline
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
1898
Who:
Wheatley
Reactor explosion in four minutes.
Listens:
4455
Who:
Announcer
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
716
Who:
Wheatley
Oh my.
Listens:
657
Who:
Turret
Histrionic.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
924
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
440
Who:
Wheatley
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
583
Who:
GLaDOS
But the real point is - oh, oh! You know what I've just remembered? Football! Kicking a ball around for fun. Cruel, obviously. Humans love it. Metaphor. Should have seen this coming.
Listens:
2122
Who:
Wheatley
I know! I know, I wouldn't have believed it either.
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, just a second...
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
I won't let you down!
Listens:
378
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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