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Portal 2
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Right. Let's figure out how to stop this turret line...
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
Hello. Hello. Hell-- Aw, crap...
Listens:
12361
Who:
Defective Turret
Quick, this way!
Listens:
247
Who:
Wheatley
Riggght now.
Listens:
256
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, so, silent contemplation it is. Mysterious button... Sorry. Sorry. Silence. Do not speak. In the silence. Let the silence descend. Here it comes. One hundred percent silence. From now. By the way, if you come up with any ideas, do flag them up. Don't feel you have to stay quiet because I've said absolute silence. So if you come up with an idea, mention it. Otherwise, absolute silence starting... Now.
Listens:
1714
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
377
Who:
Defective Turret
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. Yeah? And I'll show you something. You'll be impressed by this.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! This is a bit tricky!
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
Listens:
1120
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
I give you a score of 3.4 for style and 10 for being annoying.
Listens:
1289
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space.
Listens:
1677
Who:
Core 1
clickclickclick
Listens:
498
Who:
Defective Turret
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
924
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
994
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
605
Who:
GLaDOS
Avoid defective defective turrets as they may still be active.
Listens:
836
Who:
Announcer
We all agree you should stop.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent! You're a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them?
Listens:
3176
Who:
GLaDOS
[laughs]
Listens:
2335
Who:
Wheatley
These bridges are made from natural light that I pump in from the surface. If you rubbed your cheek on one, it would be like standing outside with the sun shining on your face. It would also set your hair on fire, so don't actually do it.
Listens:
2095
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, escape pod... escape pod...
Listens:
252
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
Goodnight
Listens:
5614
Who:
Turret
Hi?
Listens:
811
Who:
Turret
It's alright! Everything's good. I just invented some more tests!
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
Follow the feeder tube to the generator room! I'll meet you there.
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
688
Who:
Core 2
They're not even your screens to break. It's vandalism. It's pure vandalism. You wouldn't do this if this was your house, would you? If I came around to your house smashin' your telly to bits, you'd be furious. And rightly so. Unbelievable.
Listens:
813
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
728
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! Good news! [electic pop] Nevermind.
Listens:
6395
Who:
Wheatley
Anxious.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
585
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
987
Who:
Core 1
That will give you PLENTY of time to chat.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
4462
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahahaha
Listens:
2009
Who:
Turret
Your destination's probably not going to come meet us here. Is it? So go on.
Listens:
252
Who:
Wheatley
Inattentive listener.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
However, thanks to Emergency Testing Protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support, so that science can still be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse.
Listens:
1995
Who:
Announcer
Didn't even get to the good part yet. Twist ending.
Listens:
567
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Here we go...
Listens:
1160
Who:
Wheatley
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me, you’re squishing me.
Listens:
3275
Who:
Turret
Keep moving, keep moving...
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
We are now going to take a break from the collaboration for an instructional competition.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
6824
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it is. Why don't you just do it? Trust me, it's an easier way out than whatever asinine plan your friend came up with.
Listens:
4352
Who:
GLaDOS
We're so close, you can't fail now!
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know where I was?
Listens:
262
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
5247
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
656
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
492
Who:
Wheatley
Pshh. Really? And do what, exactly?
Listens:
561
Who:
Wheatley
Pop a little portal, just there, alright? Behind me. And come on through.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
Oh... Mr. Johnson...
Listens:
25842
Who:
Caroline
BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD
Listens:
101313
Who:
Wheatley
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
688
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye
Listens:
7640
Who:
Turret
Yeah.
Listens:
412
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, fine. I'll ask you again in a few decades.
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
Ugh!
Listens:
277
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
993
Who:
Core 1
In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event.
Listens:
1579
Who:
Core 3
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
758
Who:
Core 2
Always sulking.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
You may as well have a little rest, actually, while I work on it.
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhh... Wha- What happened?
Listens:
1380
Who:
Wheatley
Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis.
Listens:
1160
Who:
GLaDOS
Calibrating Blue's weight...
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
561
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, did you bring your little portal gun? Nothing to portal onto here, luv. Just ten pounds of dead weight. About to be two hundred and ten. Fatty.
Listens:
6601
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
976
Who:
Core 1
Puppet master! You're a puppet in a play, and I hold all the strings! And cards, still. Cards in one hand, strings in the other. And I'm making you dance like a puppet. Playing cards.
Listens:
2461
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, it's not nice to make fun of Orange like that.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway. Just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli. Do not know what all the fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one?
Listens:
797
Who:
Wheatley
I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's do it again! Pick me up again!
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
10110
Who:
Turret
Hello?
Listens:
4722
Who:
Turret
Come on! Over here! This way!
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
No no no, not that way!
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
823
Who:
Wheatley
Warning! Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.
Listens:
4786
Who:
Announcer
You can't give up now.
Listens:
261
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
But don't worry, you are in the lead.
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
720
Who:
GLaDOS
Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, Blue and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
870
Who:
Wheatley
MOVE.
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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