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Portal 2
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TF2 Music
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I know you.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the last test for the standard course. It's just something I whipped up for you. I thought you might enjoy a challenge for once.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
694
Who:
GLaDOS
Just--do the test! Just do the test.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
I am!
Listens:
1384
Who:
Caroline
This final course is training to reach the human vault. So this actually has a purpose. Those other courses were fun, but let's be honest, I need human test subjects for it to be science.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
544
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
553
Who:
Core 3
Take me with you...
Listens:
968
Who:
Turret
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
685
Who:
Wheatley
Ooh. It's dark down here isn't it?
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Awwww
Listens:
3092
Who:
Turret
Look - metal ball, I CAN hear you.
Listens:
1758
Who:
GLaDOS
Fact not found.
Listens:
757
Who:
Core 3
Yeah. Clickety click click. Right on the money.
Listens:
3293
Who:
Defective Turret
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
3872
Who:
Wheatley
Try something.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Give up? Also the floor. Was the answer that time. Same as before. Still on the floor.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
621
Who:
Wheatley
Blue what did you do?
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]
Listens:
11852
Who:
Announcer
Always sad.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
Ungh!
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
You both need to do something.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Defective Turret testing active.
Listens:
963
Who:
Announcer
Agghh!
Listens:
412
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! But I did find something. Reminds me: I've got a big surprise for you two. Seriously. Look forward to it.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
476
Who:
Defective Turret
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
454
Who:
Wheatley
Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
Listens:
678
Who:
Core 2
We could get one of the crap turrets. We could put it in the scanner and see what happens.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
863
Who:
Wheatley
You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson. I thought you were my greatest enemy. When all along you were my best friend.
Listens:
1847
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
1025
Who:
Core 1
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a bit of a brain wave. There I was, smashing some steel plates together, and I thought, 'yes, it's deadly. But what's missing? What's missing?' And I thought lots of sharp bits welded onto the flat bits.
Listens:
1935
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
452
Who:
GLaDOS
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
958
Who:
Defective Turret
You have just passed through an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which vaporizes most Aperture Science equipment that touches it.
Listens:
975
Who:
Announcer
Never flushes.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
959
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
1013
Who:
Core 1
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
5559
Who:
Core 1
The end?
Listens:
1221
Who:
GLaDOS
This way! This way!
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Come closer.
Listens:
684
Who:
Turret
There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it.
Listens:
1434
Who:
Announcer
Did something break back there?
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
Corrupted Core: are you ready to start?
Listens:
2750
Who:
Announcer
You messed with the wrong turret!
Listens:
19307
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
No no wait wait waitAGGGHHHH
Listens:
2335
Who:
Defective Turret
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
There's a thousand tests performed every day here in our enrichment spheres. I can't personally oversee every one of them, so these pre-recorded messages'll cover any questions you might have, and respond to any incidents that may occur in the course of your science adventure.
Listens:
1269
Who:
Cave Johnson
Come on, sweetie! He's got a glass jaw! He's got a glass everything! This guy's a china cabinet!
Listens:
713
Who:
Core 2
SPAAACE!
Listens:
51646
Who:
Core 1
Stop doing that! All you need to do is open the Vault door!
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Um.
Listens:
534
Who:
Defective Turret
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
511
Who:
Defective Turret
Hi there!
Listens:
504
Who:
Defective Turret
Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1509
Who:
Announcer
Go on, just walk up to the window and take a look out.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
We have to get you out of there!
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! Perhaps the turrets have found a way to use garrotes. That would explain the extremely... quiet killing. That I'm hearing.
Listens:
733
Who:
Wheatley
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
594
Who:
Core 3
Blah.
Listens:
1627
Who:
GLaDOS
Again, those are science collaboration points, which you should not confuse with points from competitions such as Who-Gets-To-Live-At-The-End-And-Who-Doesn’t. I mean basketball.
Listens:
1430
Who:
GLaDOS
'Caw! Caw!' Oh, look! There's a bird out here! A Lovely bird. Gorgeous plumage. Majestic. Won't be here long. A lovely bird like that. Once in a lifetime opportunity to see a lovely bird like that. Lovely plumage.
Listens:
4179
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha, YES! I knew you'd solve it!
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
457
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue
Listens:
1802
Who:
GLaDOS
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
756
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Listens:
752
Who:
Defective Turret
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
998
Who:
Core 1
Okay, wait, let me light this path for you.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Come on! We have to go!
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going to space.
Listens:
1205
Who:
Core 1
I was going to kill you fast. With bullets. Or neurotoxin. But if you're going to pull stunts like this, it doesn't have to be fast. So you know. I'll take my time.
Listens:
1605
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you completed the standard section of this course. Before we can go any further, I will need you to complete one more test outside of the standard testing track.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
You did very well.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
473
Who:
Wheatley
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers.
Listens:
1565
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
901
Who:
Core 1
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
Look, I don't like this any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who got partially eaten by a bird.
Listens:
943
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
1032
Who:
Wheatley
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Press the button!
Listens:
1396
Who:
GLaDOS
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
1043
Who:
Core 1
In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself.
Listens:
3153
Who:
Core 3
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
1039
Who:
Cave Johnson
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
772
Who:
Core 3
Yeghh!
Listens:
622
Who:
Wheatley
Honey does not spoil.
Listens:
635
Who:
Core 3
Come on through to the other side.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
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