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Portal 2
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The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
924
Who:
GLaDOS
For safety.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
Illegal operation
Listens:
1139
Who:
Turret
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
568
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought going back to these old tests would satisfy me. But try as you might to fail this next test, I still won't be satisfied.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
3723
Who:
Turret
This. Sentence. Is. FALSE don't think about it don't think about it...
Listens:
31885
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes sir, Mister Johnson.
Listens:
1568
Who:
Caroline
Help!
Listens:
831
Who:
Turret
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
1050
Who:
Core 3
Is that camera is hooked into the lock?
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Now I spy something that starts with an 'a'.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Stalemate Resolution Associate: Please press the Stalemate Resolution Button.
Listens:
2562
Who:
Announcer
In just a moment, the word 'blah' will be repeated over and over again. If at some point you hear a number rather than the word 'blah', ignore it, it is not important.
Listens:
1825
Who:
GLaDOS
We made it we made it we made it we made it...
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on -
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
461
Who:
Wheatley
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
728
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.
Listens:
2512
Who:
Core 3
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hello angel. I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. Name's Rick. So, you out having yourself a little adventure?
Listens:
3735
Who:
Core 2
Is it the lack of mirrors in test chambers that encourages you to do this?
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
412
Who:
Wheatley
What?
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, can't blame me for trying. Okay... New tests, new tests... there's gotta be some tests around here somewhere.
Listens:
1497
Who:
Wheatley
Wait. Why DID you trundle over here? You're not HUNGRY, are you? It's hard to see, what's that in your hand? Knowing you it's a deep fryer.
Listens:
3638
Who:
GLaDOS
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
1044
Who:
Core 1
Press the button!
Listens:
1345
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
414
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
841
Who:
Wheatley
There you are
Listens:
2029
Who:
Turret
Blah.
Listens:
1960
Who:
GLaDOS
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
766
Who:
Wheatley
Just--do the test! Just do the test.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Had a bit of a brain wave. There I was, smashing some steel plates together, and I thought, 'yes, it's deadly. But what's missing? What's missing?' And I thought lots of sharp bits welded onto the flat bits.
Listens:
1868
Who:
Wheatley
I'll bet there isn't even a problem with the facility, is there? I'll bet there's no such thing as a 'reactor core'. I'll bet that's not even fire coming out of the walls, is it? It's just cleverly placed lights and papier mache, I'll bet that's all it is.
Listens:
2143
Who:
Wheatley
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
445
Who:
Defective Turret
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
539
Who:
Core 3
Good. This completes the gymnastic portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.
Listens:
1380
Who:
Announcer
Hello?
Listens:
4887
Who:
Turret
Aw... hates Mondays.
Listens:
1577
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
751
Who:
GLaDOS
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
794
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
984
Who:
Core 1
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
1022
Who:
Defective Turret
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
630
Who:
Core 2
Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it.
Listens:
604
Who:
Core 3
Hey lady. Lady. I'm the best. I'm the best at space.
Listens:
3098
Who:
Core 1
I think after that display, we should take a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
Getting bored of space.
Listens:
6144
Who:
Core 1
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
1011
Who:
Cave Johnson
Stay back.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, brilliant. You DID find a portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave.
Listens:
2857
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
453
Who:
Defective Turret
Steals lunch from staff fridge.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
The lock is looking for two humans.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Squeaky-voice! How'd I do?
Listens:
883
Who:
Defective Turret
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
1024
Who:
Cave Johnson
Thanks!
Listens:
517
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Oh my god. What has he done to this place?
Listens:
1544
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
825
Who:
GLaDOS
I am not sure how I can make these tests any easier for you.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey lady.
Listens:
1476
Who:
Core 1
Can you reach that wall back there?
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
Hellllooo, imbecile.
Listens:
4766
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
798
Who:
Defective Turret
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
992
Who:
Core 1
Okay, wait, let me light this path for you.
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
Did something break back there?
Listens:
593
Who:
Wheatley
I'm speaking in an accent that is beyond her range of hearing...
Listens:
6819
Who:
Wheatley
ow.
Listens:
602
Who:
GLaDOS
[humming]
Listens:
1829
Who:
Core 1
Now, you are just wasting my time.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
583
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
609
Who:
Wheatley
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Listens:
5408
Who:
Core 1
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
We're in space!
Listens:
2531
Who:
Wheatley
Okay! Keep your eye on the turret line, I'm gonna go and hack the door open.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
But I'm huge! [laugh turning to maniacal laugh]
Listens:
38407
Who:
Wheatley
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
While I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl-- ummm... good. Looking good, actually.
Listens:
6862
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! But I did find something. Reminds me: I've got a big surprise for you two. Seriously. Look forward to it.
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, new turrets. Not defective. Ace of fours. The best hand. Unbeatable, I imagine.
Listens:
1539
Who:
Wheatley
Since, I never expected you to make it this far, I have to build this new course just for you.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
439
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
449
Who:
Defective Turret
By completing all test courses, you have achieved Level C security clearance. You may now access all testing courses and three of Aperture Science's 176 restrooms.
Listens:
1276
Who:
Announcer
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
I was getting SO lonely down here. It's good to finally hear someone else's voice. I'm kidding, of course. God, I hate you.
Listens:
19875
Who:
GLaDOS
three
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue is penalized
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Space going to space can't wait.
Listens:
3083
Who:
Core 1
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
953
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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