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Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
201
Who:
GLaDOS
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
155
Who:
Wheatley
Standing down.
Listens:
185
Who:
Defective Turret
Ahhhohohhhh. Wow. Well done, seriously, both of you. Why don't you two go on ahead? I'll catch up with you.
Listens:
1630
Who:
Wheatley
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Mr. Johnson...
Listens:
860
Who:
Caroline
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Searching
Listens:
444
Who:
Turret
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody is going to have to repair it. No, it's okay, I'll do that too. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
[to self] Hm. Could be Spanish, could be Spanish. [loud again] Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta! Donde esta--no. Um...
Listens:
1633
Who:
Wheatley
Oh oh oh oh. Wait wait. Wait I know. I know. I know wait. Space.
Listens:
953
Who:
Core 1
Don't shoot!
Listens:
1509
Who:
Turret
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
203
Who:
GLaDOS
I blame myself.
Listens:
726
Who:
Turret
And we would have talked our way out of it. Oh! Except you forgot to tell me you'd murdered her. And that she needed you to live, so the only available vent for her rage would be good old crushable Wheatley. Yeah. Little details I remember. Easy little tidbits you could have used to save me from getting crushed if you'd cared, which you didn't, obviously. And still don't.
Listens:
2398
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Do either of you feel like laughing?
Listens:
804
Who:
GLaDOS
And that makes 10.
Listens:
166
Who:
GLaDOS
As long as I don't listen to what I'm saying, I should be okay.
Listens:
141
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
387
Who:
Core 3
Well, how about now? NOW WHO'S A MORON?
Listens:
1080
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, let's go!
Listens:
139
Who:
Wheatley
This on? [thump thump] Hey. Listen up down there. That thing's called an elevator. Not a bathroom.
Listens:
1400
Who:
Cave Johnson
HA! The tube's broken! We can ride it straight to her!
Listens:
150
Who:
Wheatley
The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.
Listens:
7197
Who:
Core 3
To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you if you fail. He refused. I understand. That would be like asking me not to test.
Listens:
178
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Nevermind. I have to go... check something. Test on your own recognizance. I'll be back.
Listens:
223
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the turret manufacturing wing. Just past this is the neurotoxin production facility. We find a way to take them both offline, and she’ll be helpless. Which is ideal.
Listens:
189
Who:
Wheatley
Substitute Core: Are you ready to start?
Listens:
1343
Who:
Announcer
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
209
Who:
GLaDOS
Pick--would you pick me up?
Listens:
141
Who:
Wheatley
After that...who knows? I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Still nothing, let's keep moving.
Listens:
160
Who:
Wheatley
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
635
Who:
Wheatley
Please prepare for emergency evacuation.
Listens:
1556
Who:
Announcer
Not a problem. I'll make an exit.
Listens:
186
Who:
Wheatley
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
462
Who:
Core 2
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* PRESS THE BUTTON.
Listens:
23495
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
681
Who:
Core 1
For instance, Orange, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
Listens:
138
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm Cave Johnson. I own the place.
Listens:
3555
Who:
Cave Johnson
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, I like this guy.
Listens:
857
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
An extra special bonus course that ends with us finding and freeing humans!
Listens:
148
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're allergic to peanuts, you might want to tell somebody now, because this next test may turn your blood into peanut water for a few minutes. On the bright side, if we can make this happen, they're gonna have to invent a new type of Nobel Prize to give us, so hang in there.
Listens:
1337
Who:
Cave Johnson
If you are alive, can you say something. Jump around so I know you are OK?
Listens:
198
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
Listens:
166
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
Nicely Done!
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Run!
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Holmes versus Moriarty.
Listens:
1340
Who:
Wheatley
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh well. We have warehouses FULL of the things. Absolutely worthless. I'm happy to get rid of them.
Listens:
569
Who:
GLaDOS
Self test error
Listens:
766
Who:
Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
330
Who:
Defective Turret
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
237
Who:
Wheatley
I don't blame you
Listens:
17462
Who:
Turret
Narcissist.
Listens:
144
Who:
GLaDOS
Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens.
Listens:
1455
Who:
Core 3
I didn't mean to make you feel bad earlier about your tests not being real science. I guess finding out they weren't science was some sort of test in and of itself.
Listens:
138
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate Resolved.
Listens:
1127
Who:
Announcer
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
522
Who:
GLaDOS
She is a gem.
Listens:
1804
Who:
Cave Johnson
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
233
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
Listens:
839
Who:
Core 3
Well, can't win 'em all.
Listens:
181
Who:
Defective Turret
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
There we go. Lift called.
Listens:
148
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?
Listens:
913
Who:
Wheatley
Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
Listens:
203
Who:
GLaDOS
Finish it...
Listens:
196
Who:
Wheatley
That's all I can say.
Listens:
737
Who:
Turret
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
651
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. Hmmmm.
Listens:
152
Who:
Wheatley
We have to get you out of there!
Listens:
147
Who:
Wheatley
Get to HER! I'll find you!
Listens:
148
Who:
Wheatley
Just stop it already.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
239
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
Listens:
3271
Who:
Announcer
Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
747
Who:
Announcer
Alternate core detected.
Listens:
902
Who:
Announcer
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
236
Who:
GLaDOS
Owww!
Listens:
376
Who:
Turret
I know you.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
233
Who:
GLaDOS
Good morning. You have been in suspension for -FIFTY- days. In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.
Listens:
7188
Who:
Announcer
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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