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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Alright. Still nothing, let's keep moving.
Listens:
184
Who:
Wheatley
This next test involves the Aperture Science Aerial Faith Plate. It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative: They could not. Good luck!
Listens:
1769
Who:
GLaDOS
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space! Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba!
Listens:
15368
Who:
Core 1
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
734
Who:
Core 1
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
633
Who:
Defective Turret
Pop a portal. Behind me, on the wall. Come on through.
Listens:
165
Who:
Wheatley
three
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Seriously, though. Goodbye.
Listens:
1809
Who:
GLaDOS
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
4698
Who:
Core 1
What do you have there?
Listens:
165
Who:
Wheatley
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
724
Who:
Cave Johnson
Stubborn.
Listens:
172
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Well, you know the old formula: Comedy equals tragedy plus time. And you have been asleep for a while. So I guess it's actually pretty funny when you do the math.
Listens:
14635
Who:
GLaDOS
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
445
Who:
Wheatley
GAH!
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
Fears intimacy.
Listens:
168
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
529
Who:
Wheatley
We all agree you should stop.
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
The situation you are in is very dangerous.
Listens:
2389
Who:
Core 3
Really? You’re just going to blatantly cheat?
Listens:
454
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Didn't go for that, I see. Knew I was lying. Point to you. But you still are inhaling neurotoxin. So, point deducted.
Listens:
217
Who:
Wheatley
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
2438
Who:
Turret
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
No can do.
Listens:
249
Who:
Defective Turret
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
378
Who:
Defective Turret
That is not part of the test.
Listens:
184
Who:
GLaDOS
Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I'll be honest, we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out.
Listens:
9204
Who:
Cave Johnson
You KNOW her?
Listens:
263
Who:
Wheatley
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
398
Who:
Core 3
GO.
Listens:
665
Who:
GLaDOS
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
14633
Who:
Core 2
Dang.
Listens:
340
Who:
Defective Turret
For your test.
Listens:
172
Who:
Wheatley
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
173
Who:
GLaDOS
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
748
Who:
GLaDOS
It's your old friend, deadly neurotoxin. If I were you, I'd take a deep breath. And hold it.
Listens:
4776
Who:
GLaDOS
Um.
Listens:
285
Who:
Defective Turret
Well. This is the part where he kills us.
Listens:
1107
Who:
GLaDOS
Might as well give you the tour.
Listens:
174
Who:
Wheatley
Reactions?
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
Listens:
164
Who:
GLaDOS
What?
Listens:
224
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
I'm pretty sure we're going the right way. Pretty sure.
Listens:
164
Who:
Wheatley
Being Caroline taught me another valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know where I was?
Listens:
168
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
664
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, you know what? That's close enough. Just hold tight.
Listens:
1353
Who:
Wheatley
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
389
Who:
Core 3
In case you were wondering, you do not need to be crushed to solve this test.
Listens:
174
Who:
GLaDOS
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
353
Who:
Core 3
Agh! Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!
Listens:
30053
Who:
GLaDOS
In just a moment, the word 'blah' will be repeated over and over again. If at some point you hear a number rather than the word 'blah', ignore it, it is not important.
Listens:
1239
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
736
Who:
Core 1
Warning! All testing courses are currently available.
Listens:
1374
Who:
Announcer
I’m on fire.
Listens:
1628
Who:
Turret
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
602
Who:
Core 3
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
446
Who:
Core 3
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
744
Who:
GLaDOS
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
195
Who:
Wheatley
SHUT UP!
Listens:
10403
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
787
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhhhhh. 'FALSE'. I'll go 'false'.
Listens:
4038
Who:
Wheatley
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
980
Who:
Core 1
Did you know we originally used these cameras to capture moments of intense pain and agony in test subjects?
Listens:
200
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
8025
Who:
Caroline
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
553
Who:
Core 3
I knew it was gonna be cool being in charge of everything, but... wow, this is cool!
Listens:
208
Who:
Wheatley
The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
932
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Enjoy this next test. I'm going to go to the surface. It's a beautiful day out. Yesterday I saw a deer. If you solve this next test, maybe I'll let you ride an elevator all the way up to the break room, and I'll tell you about the time I saw a deer again.
Listens:
3234
Who:
GLaDOS
That's horrible.
Listens:
493
Who:
GLaDOS
Hooray!
Listens:
3458
Who:
Turret
No no, no no, no no, whoa whoa, no, whoa!
Listens:
586
Who:
Defective Turret
We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control.
Listens:
3092
Who:
Announcer
AHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
1051
Who:
Turret
No, listen to me! Sir, I do not want this!
Listens:
14633
Who:
Caroline
Do you give up? It was the floor. Lying down on the floor. Is where I am. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
173
Who:
Wheatley
*cough cough* Pressthebutton.
Listens:
5921
Who:
Wheatley
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Calibrating Orange's weight...
Listens:
170
Who:
GLaDOS
We have to split up here for a moment. Portal up to that passage and I'll see you on the other side.
Listens:
165
Who:
Wheatley
Honey does not spoil.
Listens:
428
Who:
Core 3
Uhhhh... Blam! Blam blam blam! I'm not defective!
Listens:
2918
Who:
Defective Turret
Can't. See. A. Thing.
Listens:
977
Who:
Defective Turret
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
750
Who:
Core 3
four
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
613
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
I never liked her.
Listens:
581
Who:
Turret
Agh!
Listens:
181
Who:
Wheatley
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
Be honest. You can't even tell, can you? Seamless.
Listens:
164
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
604
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
AHH!
Listens:
782
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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