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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job. You've applied the grip. We're all fine. That's tremendous.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
Today, you will be testing with a partner.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Please stop.
Listens:
1011
Who:
Turret
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
We're so close, you can't fail now!
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
What if you froze like that?
Listens:
1945
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
738
Who:
Wheatley
Come on. You were raised better than that.
Listens:
238
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
621
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space.
Listens:
1538
Who:
Core 1
GET IN!
Listens:
224
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! I knew we were going the right way.
Listens:
241
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, go on, just pull that turret out.
Listens:
221
Who:
Wheatley
Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.
Listens:
1659
Who:
GLaDOS
I HAVE to test. All the time. Or I get this... this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something.
Listens:
1054
Who:
Wheatley
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2318
Who:
GLaDOS
Miss you!
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
I know! I know, I wouldn't have believed it either.
Listens:
221
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, hold on now WHOA WHOA WHOA!
Listens:
1402
Who:
Defective Turret
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!
Listens:
1036
Who:
Wheatley
Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.
Listens:
39787
Who:
Turret
Plug me in, we're running out of time.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
That's his voice up ahead.
Listens:
224
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on. Ohhhh. Hit me with it.
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
Well, maybe it's time I did something then.
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
We have to get you out of that room!
Listens:
220
Who:
Wheatley
Back again!
Listens:
831
Who:
Defective Turret
Aggh! I'm going the wrong way!
Listens:
245
Who:
Wheatley
Undelete, undelete! Where's the undelete button?
Listens:
2203
Who:
Wheatley
Oops. You trapped yourself. I guess that's it then. Thanks for testing. You may as well lie down and get acclimated to the being dead position.
Listens:
1164
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
340
Who:
Defective Turret
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
Let's try this again. Try to make your way across the machinery.
Listens:
221
Who:
Wheatley
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, it will. Believe me, it will.
Listens:
1400
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
825
Who:
Defective Turret
This close and that's what you do?
Listens:
248
Who:
GLaDOS
Why?
Listens:
2038
Who:
Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
423
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you... are you sure you're solving these correctly?
Listens:
247
Who:
Wheatley
I'll bet there isn't even a problem with the facility, is there? I'll bet there's no such thing as a 'reactor core'. I'll bet that's not even fire coming out of the walls, is it? It's just cleverly placed lights and papier mache, I'll bet that's all it is.
Listens:
1868
Who:
Wheatley
I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before, though. Sort of cheating.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Correct Blue, Orange can't hear you.
Listens:
237
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably - Oh, wait. It's a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!
Listens:
4022
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!
Listens:
32980
Who:
Core 1
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
476
Who:
Core 3
Progress report: Still pretty tricky!
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
970
Who:
Defective Turret
Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
365
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Good!
Listens:
9633
Who:
Announcer
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
5152
Who:
Core 1
There she is...
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
What, are you still alive? You are joking. You have got be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE.
Listens:
5265
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, solve it!
Listens:
247
Who:
Wheatley
If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you.
Listens:
2899
Who:
Announcer
According to most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig.
Listens:
4140
Who:
Core 3
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
988
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, and don't bother trying to portal out of here, because it's impossible, okay? I thought of everything.
Listens:
247
Who:
Wheatley
Critical error
Listens:
11129
Who:
Turret
And trust me, humans only have one good trait.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
933
Who:
Core 1
The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it.
Listens:
579
Who:
GLaDOS
One moment.
Listens:
236
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, let's get started. This first test involves something the lab boys call 'repulsion gel.'
Listens:
997
Who:
Cave Johnson
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Blue is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
800
Who:
Wheatley
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
455
Who:
Core 3
Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen.
Listens:
2069
Who:
GLaDOS
No. No. That was the solution. Rrrg! What am I missing?
Listens:
228
Who:
Wheatley
You really are doing great... Chell.
Listens:
39600
Who:
GLaDOS
You two aren't lost are you?
Listens:
230
Who:
GLaDOS
You are doing wonderfully.
Listens:
226
Who:
GLaDOS
Yahh. Gehhh!
Listens:
524
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up and you will lose 500 points.
Listens:
736
Who:
GLaDOS
Try something.
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
Inattentive listener.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh. You're stranded. Let's see if the cube will try to help you escape. Actually, so that we're not here all day, I'll just cut to the chase: It won't. Any feelings you think it has for you are simply byproducts of your sad, empty life.
Listens:
1387
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry
Listens:
2521
Who:
Turret
This would go a lot faster if you'd stay still. Then I'd have time to fix the facility. So one of us at least would live. No need to be selfish, luv, you're gonna die.
Listens:
1624
Who:
Wheatley
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
412
Who:
Wheatley
Alternate core detected.
Listens:
1292
Who:
Announcer
Open the door!
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
Go on!
Listens:
233
Who:
Wheatley
The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
Listens:
600
Who:
Core 3
Turrets!
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
Oooh! Ooh! Hi hi hi hi hi. Where we going? Where we going? Hey. Lady. Where we going? Where we going? Let's go to space!
Listens:
7871
Who:
Core 1
In just a moment, the word 'blah' will be repeated over and over again. If at some point you hear a number rather than the word 'blah', ignore it, it is not important.
Listens:
1509
Who:
GLaDOS
I have the results of the last chamber: You are a horrible person. That's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that.
Listens:
3104
Who:
GLaDOS
This. Sentence. Is. FALSE don't think about it don't think about it...
Listens:
29013
Who:
GLaDOS
Thought you'd seen the last of us, didn't ya?
Listens:
569
Who:
Defective Turret
Lacks empathy.
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop touching each other!
Listens:
524
Who:
GLaDOS
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
450
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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