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Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
732
Who:
Core 3
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
200
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Ha ha ha!
Listens:
265
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
788
Who:
Core 1
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
467
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, it's alright. Go ahead.
Listens:
187
Who:
Wheatley
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 3
I need backup!
Listens:
482
Who:
Turret
You messed with the wrong turret!
Listens:
15829
Who:
Defective Turret
Space...
Listens:
993
Who:
Core 1
It's eating me.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
Awful attendance record.
Listens:
228
Who:
GLaDOS
That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?
Listens:
943
Who:
Cave Johnson
Don't worry I'm absolutely guaranteeing you 100 percent that it's this way... Oh it's not this way.
Listens:
493
Who:
Wheatley
We will both die because of your negligence.
Listens:
996
Who:
Core 3
Turrets!
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
5000 point penalty! Are you happy now?
Listens:
1316
Who:
GLaDOS
Really? Okay.
Listens:
775
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue is penalized
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no, don't. Anyway, back to you two imbeciles killing me.
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
2172
Who:
Turret
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
BLUE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
237
Who:
GLaDOS
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
343
Who:
Core 2
Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel.
Listens:
1860
Who:
Cave Johnson
Warning: Central core is eighty percent corrupt.
Listens:
1618
Who:
Announcer
SPAAACCCCCE!
Listens:
551165
Who:
Core 1
Go on!
Listens:
195
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking of all the ways humans can die.
Listens:
1242
Who:
GLaDOS
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
606
Who:
GLaDOS
Problems with authority.
Listens:
222
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
627
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
Until now.
Listens:
205
Who:
GLaDOS
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
You did WHAT?
Listens:
2414
Who:
Wheatley
Are you scared to save those humans?
Listens:
199
Who:
GLaDOS
Good luck!
Listens:
245
Who:
Wheatley
Why?
Listens:
1784
Who:
Turret
times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations job well done.
Listens:
229
Who:
GLaDOS
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
754
Who:
Wheatley
Um.
Listens:
329
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay!
Listens:
291
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
The average human male is about sixty percent water. Far as we're concerned, that's a little extravagant. So if you feel a bit dehydrated in this next test, that's normal. We're gonna hit you with some jet engines, and see if we can't get you down to twenty or thirty percent.
Listens:
1623
Who:
Cave Johnson
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
563
Who:
Turret
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Hurt me once, shame on me. Hurt me twice...
Listens:
1550
Who:
Defective Turret
Anyway. Just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli. Do not know what all the fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one?
Listens:
646
Who:
Wheatley
Try something.
Listens:
193
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. You’re both doing very well.
Listens:
186
Who:
GLaDOS
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
750
Who:
Cave Johnson
Though it does give me an idea: WHAT if we stand here and let the gentle hum of the laser transport us to a state of absolute relaxation. Might help us think of a way to open the door.
Listens:
245
Who:
Wheatley
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
565
Who:
Defective Turret
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Quick, this way!
Listens:
186
Who:
Wheatley
Pop a little portal, just there, alright? Behind me. And come on through.
Listens:
185
Who:
Wheatley
I was getting SO lonely down here. It's good to finally hear someone else's voice. I'm kidding, of course. God, I hate you.
Listens:
16659
Who:
GLaDOS
Since you are thankfully not humans, I have changed the tests to make them far more challenging and far less pointlessly fawning.
Listens:
199
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Well, I’m going to take this rail down the back way.
Listens:
209
Who:
Wheatley
Caroline deleted.
Listens:
16775
Who:
Announcer
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
553
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space.
Listens:
1382
Who:
Core 1
DO press it.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
Still a work in progress, don't judge me yet. Eventually I'd like to get them to sort of shoot fire at you, moments before crushing you. That's what I'm aiming for. But you know, small steps.
Listens:
1285
Who:
Wheatley
So, once again, just... move along. One small step and everything.
Listens:
221
Who:
Wheatley
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
532
Who:
Core 2
Blah.
Listens:
1406
Who:
GLaDOS
We made it we made it we made it we made it...
Listens:
193
Who:
Wheatley
Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt--
Listens:
6838
Who:
Cave Johnson
Test chamber completed. In the interest of science, the Enrichment Center proudly presents the following list of numbers: Nine. Seven. Fifty. Three. Seven hundred and seven.
Listens:
1034
Who:
GLaDOS
They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. Not here. At Aperture, we do all our science from scratch. No hand holding.
Listens:
2888
Who:
Cave Johnson
Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
625
Who:
Wheatley
We made it we made it we made it. Space!
Listens:
2812
Who:
Core 1
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that?
Listens:
200
Who:
GLaDOS
What, exactly, is wrong with being adopted?
Listens:
952
Who:
GLaDOS
I won't let you down!
Listens:
266
Who:
Defective Turret
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
5099
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, maybe it's time I did something then.
Listens:
182
Who:
Wheatley
Participates unconstructively. Obviously a time-waster.
Listens:
229
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
333
Who:
Defective Turret
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
What do you think?
Listens:
1136
Who:
Wheatley
Did something break back there?
Listens:
455
Who:
Wheatley
Are you trying to weigh me down? Think I'll fall out of the ceiling? Won't work. I'm not just quite brilliant, I'm also quite strong. Biggest muscle in my body: my brain. Second biggest: My muscles. So, it's not going to work. Clearly.
Listens:
913
Who:
Wheatley
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
788
Who:
Core 1
Busybody.
Listens:
207
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on.
Listens:
641
Who:
Wheatley
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