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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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YES YES! IN YOUR FACE! I GOT YO-ah, nope.
Listens:
2945
Who:
Wheatley
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
635
Who:
Wheatley
What's happening on your side, anything?
Listens:
154
Who:
Wheatley
Sir!
Listens:
928
Who:
Caroline
We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control.
Listens:
2945
Who:
Announcer
I'll bet you think I forgot about your surprise. I didn't. In fact, we're headed to your surprise right now. After all these years. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it.
Listens:
450
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1165
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
546
Who:
Core 1
Canvassing
Listens:
358
Who:
Turret
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
4584
Who:
Turret
Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.
Listens:
1458
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
170
Who:
GLaDOS
Could you come over here?
Listens:
2408
Who:
Turret
Interpreting vague answer as YES.
Listens:
18997
Who:
Announcer
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
205
Who:
Wheatley
I guess quitting that course together is a sign of teamwork.
Listens:
157
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
1629
Who:
GLaDOS
Almost there...
Listens:
153
Who:
Wheatley
Steals lunch from staff fridge.
Listens:
167
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
Listens:
187
Who:
GLaDOS
If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim.
Listens:
945
Who:
Announcer
I see you
Listens:
1990
Who:
Turret
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
687
Who:
GLaDOS
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay back.
Listens:
212
Who:
GLaDOS
There she is...
Listens:
174
Who:
Wheatley
Core transfer?
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you for completing the testing courses. If you enjoyed your experience, you may now re-enter the testing course of your choice.
Listens:
556
Who:
Announcer
AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl-- ummm... good. Looking good, actually.
Listens:
5020
Who:
Wheatley
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
230
Who:
Wheatley
(excited gasps)
Listens:
1155
Who:
Core 1
Sorry, what's going on over there? You know, I'm actually over here, still thinking really hard!
Listens:
211
Who:
Wheatley
Woooaaah!
Listens:
766
Who:
Turret
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
Pick me up. Let's get out of here.
Listens:
159
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
235
Who:
Defective Turret
This is not good.
Listens:
206
Who:
GLaDOS
Do hear that? That's the sound of the neurotoxin emitters emitting neurotoxin.
Listens:
1050
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Listens:
4164
Who:
GLaDOS
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
499
Who:
Defective Turret
The one you risked your life to get to. So you could escape certain death. No rush.
Listens:
151
Who:
Wheatley
That’s right. You're not humans.
Listens:
180
Who:
GLaDOS
Get mad!
Listens:
25451
Who:
Turret
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Aggh! I'm going the wrong way!
Listens:
162
Who:
Wheatley
I honestly, TRULY didn't think you'd fall for that.
Listens:
1041
Who:
GLaDOS
You're on your own.
Listens:
161
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, let me get that for you.
Listens:
161
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
722
Who:
Core 1
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
The way you two just gave up on that test together shows you are really working as a team.
Listens:
155
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
286
Who:
Defective Turret
Crushing's too good for him. First he'll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two: Cryogenic refrigeration wing. Then TEN years in the chamber I built where all the robots scream at you. THEN I'll kill him.
Listens:
3380
Who:
GLaDOS
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
Listens:
153
Who:
GLaDOS
Wow.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate detected.
Listens:
2811
Who:
Announcer
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
716
Who:
GLaDOS
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
Pants were invented by sailors in the sixteenth century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god.
Listens:
1756
Who:
Core 3
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
772
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
Your vitals remain well within testing norms, so there is no need to worry about sudden death from collaborative shock syndrome.
Listens:
207
Who:
GLaDOS
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
258
Who:
Defective Turret
Give up? Also the floor. Was the answer that time. Same as before. Still on the floor.
Listens:
154
Who:
Wheatley
Here it is - the turret factory entrance! We made it.
Listens:
153
Who:
Wheatley
And... forty potato batteries. Embarrassing. I realize they’re children. Still: low hanging fruit. Barely science, really.
Listens:
1055
Who:
Wheatley
For the sake of this test, I will pretend to be your partner.
Listens:
206
Who:
GLaDOS
And what's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!
Listens:
756
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
632
Who:
Defective Turret
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
215
Who:
GLaDOS
Oops. You trapped yourself. I guess that's it then. Thanks for testing. You may as well lie down and get acclimated to the being dead position.
Listens:
921
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
403
Who:
Defective Turret
Go on. Get in.
Listens:
153
Who:
Wheatley
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
220
Who:
GLaDOS
Briefly.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
399
Who:
Turret
I swear I know him...
Listens:
205
Who:
GLaDOS
Undelete, undelete! Where's the undelete button?
Listens:
1828
Who:
Wheatley
You're better than that.
Listens:
212
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
For instance, Orange, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
Listens:
159
Who:
GLaDOS
Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency.
Listens:
819
Who:
Announcer
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
255
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, do do it!
Listens:
194
Who:
Wheatley
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
434
Who:
Wheatley
Can you hear that? She has really kicked this place into high gear now.
Listens:
163
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Button. Button.
Listens:
947
Who:
Wheatley
Even humans, as stupid as they are, would say you look stupid when you do that.
Listens:
453
Who:
GLaDOS
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?
Listens:
1216
Who:
Wheatley
You both need to do something.
Listens:
155
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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