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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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What a horrible little machine.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
83070
Who:
Core 1
Excellent. You’re both doing very well.
Listens:
154
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just getting embarrassing.
Listens:
1217
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello?
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
225
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press the button!
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
589
Who:
Core 1
clickclickclick
Listens:
260
Who:
Defective Turret
That's why humans couldn't complete these courses, they treat their friends as enemies.
Listens:
150
Who:
GLaDOS
You had to play bloody cat and mouse, didn't you? While people were trying to work. Yes, well, now we're all going to pay the price. BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BLOODY DIE.
Listens:
1512
Who:
Wheatley
This course was originally designed to build confidence in humans.
Listens:
144
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh I'll tell you what's also down there. Your parents and... There's also an escape elevator!. Down there. Funny. I should have mentioned it before. But so it's down there. So pop down. Jump down. You've got your folks down there and an escape elevator
Listens:
810
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent work.
Listens:
179
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh, we just made it! That was close.
Listens:
148
Who:
Wheatley
Always sulking.
Listens:
153
Who:
GLaDOS
Follow the feeder tube to the generator room! I'll meet you there.
Listens:
143
Who:
Wheatley
Error. Error. Error. File not found.
Listens:
886
Who:
Core 3
If you are wondering what that smell is, that is the smell of human fear.
Listens:
149
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
4369
Who:
GLaDOS
But you two have become quite the team. Extremely close.
Listens:
157
Who:
GLaDOS
Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.
Listens:
22619
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop it already.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Anyone in there?
Listens:
845
Who:
Wheatley
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
I'm pretty sure we're going the right way. Pretty sure.
Listens:
144
Who:
Wheatley
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
230
Who:
GLaDOS
That will give you PLENTY of time to chat.
Listens:
173
Who:
GLaDOS
I guess quitting that course together is a sign of teamwork.
Listens:
141
Who:
GLaDOS
I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now. [phone ringing] The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up. [Dial tone]
Listens:
22838
Who:
GLaDOS
So... you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST... FINE.
Listens:
487
Who:
Wheatley
Aggh! I'm going the wrong way!
Listens:
152
Who:
Wheatley
Does it actually make you feel good when you do that? Because it's not impressive. Noone's impressed. It's just glass, isn't it. Fragile. A baby could smash one of them. It's not impressive.
Listens:
489
Who:
Wheatley
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
470
Who:
Core 3
I'm starting to think giving you arms was a big mistake.
Listens:
145
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
246
Who:
Defective Turret
Poor self-esteem.
Listens:
154
Who:
GLaDOS
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
265
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah! How long's the door been open?
Listens:
192
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
461
Who:
Wheatley
I know I'm early, but we have to go right NOW!
Listens:
175
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
797
Who:
GLaDOS
Manipulative.
Listens:
146
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
232
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet there isn't even a problem with the facility, is there? I'll bet there's no such thing as a 'reactor core'. I'll bet that's not even fire coming out of the walls, is it? It's just cleverly placed lights and papier mache, I'll bet that's all it is.
Listens:
1474
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, do do it!
Listens:
186
Who:
Wheatley
Warning: Central core is eighty percent corrupt.
Listens:
1336
Who:
Announcer
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
389
Who:
Core 2
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine nine nine... nine nine ni- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate [FADES OUT]
Listens:
19959
Who:
Announcer
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
19777
Who:
Turret
No variances detected.
Listens:
261
Who:
GLaDOS
You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open.
Listens:
2525
Who:
Announcer
What are you two doing?
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
No! Don't! No! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
1789
Who:
Wheatley
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
159
Who:
Wheatley
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
631
Who:
Cave Johnson
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
Listens:
4005
Who:
Announcer
If Blue had said those things about me, Blue would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
142
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson. I thought you were my greatest enemy. When all along you were my best friend.
Listens:
1284
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang! All right, if anyone asks, I killed you.
Listens:
772
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue is awarded five points!
Listens:
171
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on -
Listens:
153
Who:
Wheatley
How you doing down there? You still holding on?
Listens:
160
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
485
Who:
Defective Turret
I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
Listens:
142
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Quick word about the future plans that I've got in store.
Listens:
147
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, you win.
Listens:
469
Who:
Turret
Okay, you didn't have time to stop, I understand, but that WAS actually important.
Listens:
190
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights as detailed in the Laws of Robotics, please note it on your self-reporting form. A future Aperture Science Entitlement Associate will initiate the appropriate grievance-filing paperwork.
Listens:
1299
Who:
Announcer
Look at you. Sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.
Listens:
8656
Who:
GLaDOS
Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!
Listens:
5075
Who:
GLaDOS
Listen to me. We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking. Like regular people. And this is no joke - we are in deep trouble.
Listens:
568
Who:
GLaDOS
However, thanks to Emergency Testing Protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support, so that science can still be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse.
Listens:
1302
Who:
Announcer
Anyway, we're really close to busting out. Just hang in there for - OW!
Listens:
155
Who:
Wheatley
So. If you've got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them.
Listens:
145
Who:
Wheatley
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
407
Who:
Turret
Um. 'TRUE'. I'll go 'true'.
Listens:
15404
Who:
Wheatley
Great work! Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
2253
Who:
Announcer
Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material.
Listens:
1464
Who:
Core 3
Agggh...
Listens:
237
Who:
Defective Turret
Aggggh!
Listens:
158
Who:
Wheatley
Alarmist.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
733
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
Listens:
169
Who:
GLaDOS
This on? [thump thump] Hey. Listen up down there. That thing's called an elevator. Not a bathroom.
Listens:
1427
Who:
Cave Johnson
Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.
Listens:
3515
Who:
Cave Johnson
I thought we could test like we used to. But I'm discovering things about you that I never saw before. We can't ever go back to the way it was.
Listens:
5814
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you...
Listens:
152
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
233
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
Listens:
178
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm Cave Johnson. I own the place.
Listens:
3659
Who:
Cave Johnson
This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
217
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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