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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
2541
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello!
Listens:
672
Who:
Wheatley
Incoherent.
Listens:
201
Who:
GLaDOS
Annnnd off we go!
Listens:
224
Who:
Wheatley
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
475
Who:
Defective Turret
Please go to space.
Listens:
766
Who:
Core 1
Stay still, please.
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
507
Who:
Core 3
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, even if you think we're still enemies, we're enemies with a common interest: Revenge.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.
Listens:
2440
Who:
Core 3
Blue, why did you do that to Orange?
Listens:
181
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
2753
Who:
Wheatley
Run, for goodness sake!
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
198
Who:
Wheatley
Thank you - I can't believe I'm thanking these people - for staggering your way through Aperture Science's propulsion gel testing. You've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that, humanity is grateful.
Listens:
1014
Who:
Cave Johnson
Space...
Listens:
964
Who:
Core 1
The Space Sphere will never go to space.
Listens:
14960
Who:
Core 3
The upcoming tests require you to work together as a team.
Listens:
224
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
719
Who:
GLaDOS
Get dirty with this robot! This robot owes you money! This robot owes! You! Money!
Listens:
1031
Who:
Core 2
[fast gibberish]
Listens:
3796
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
14963
Who:
Core 2
Failure...
Listens:
1282
Who:
Turret
There's nothing in space! That's why it's space!
Listens:
5068
Who:
Core 2
The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
773
Who:
GLaDOS
The good news is... well, none so far, to be honest. I'll get back to you on that.
Listens:
235
Who:
GLaDOS
I honestly, TRULY didn't think you'd fall for that.
Listens:
1129
Who:
GLaDOS
Not done yet. You've still got to get through the door. Need to get through the door there.
Listens:
177
Who:
Wheatley
Okay! Don't move!
Listens:
214
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
554
Who:
Defective Turret
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
775
Who:
GLaDOS
If Blue had said those things about me, Blue would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
179
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough cough* Pressthebutton.
Listens:
6070
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
365
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
577
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
8167
Who:
Turret
Howdy, stranger! We're back!
Listens:
611
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey lady.
Listens:
1202
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
No can do.
Listens:
266
Who:
Defective Turret
So twisty you might even call it spinning. MOO HOO HA HA HA Ignore the laughter. Nothing to worry about.
Listens:
1013
Who:
Wheatley
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
539
Who:
Core 3
Well played.
Listens:
295
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
742
Who:
Wheatley
Press the button!
Listens:
1013
Who:
GLaDOS
Good shot!
Listens:
498
Who:
Turret
Programmed in one last tremor, for old time's sake.
Listens:
177
Who:
Wheatley
Caroline... why do I know this woman? Maybe I killed her? Or-
Listens:
2784
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhhohohhhh. Wow. Well done, seriously, both of you. Why don't you two go on ahead? I'll catch up with you.
Listens:
1822
Who:
Wheatley
Good!
Listens:
2074
Who:
Announcer
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
519
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
613
Who:
Wheatley
Still. It's a better plan than exploding. Marginally.
Listens:
206
Who:
GLaDOS
Dammit, we know! Everybody knows! Space! You! In it! We get it!
Listens:
27268
Who:
Core 2
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Oh! Did it kill you? Oh, that would be amazing if it killed you.
Listens:
481
Who:
Wheatley
You both need to do something.
Listens:
177
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
829
Who:
GLaDOS
Grab it and attach it to him!
Listens:
196
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh there goes another one. They're not Inexpensive. I'd just like to point that out. It seems unfair to smash screens. You could give them to people. Instead of smashing them, unscrew them and give them to a homeless person. I don't know what a homeless person would do with one. But you get my point. And you can't unscrew them, they're bolted in. But - just stop it!
Listens:
1070
Who:
Wheatley
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
391
Who:
Defective Turret
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
216
Who:
GLaDOS
Get mad!
Listens:
26886
Who:
Turret
However, thanks to Emergency Testing Protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support, so that science can still be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse.
Listens:
1535
Who:
Announcer
That's right. Drink it in. You could eat off those wall panels.
Listens:
233
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought you'd be faster at this, but I can appreciate the desire to stop and smell the testing. That other scent you smell? That's the stench of my utter disappointment in you.
Listens:
1315
Who:
GLaDOS
HA! I knew someone was alive in here.
Listens:
225
Who:
Wheatley
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
784
Who:
Core 1
Inattentive listener.
Listens:
214
Who:
GLaDOS
DO press it.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, check THIS out.
Listens:
265
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!
Listens:
183
Who:
Wheatley
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Progress report: Still pretty tricky!
Listens:
178
Who:
Wheatley
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
189
Who:
GLaDOS
We will attempt to comply with these now non-existent agencies by playing some more smooth jazz.
Listens:
2704
Who:
Announcer
Owwww!
Listens:
609
Who:
Turret
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
605
Who:
Core 3
It burns.
Listens:
2092
Who:
Turret
Yeah.
Listens:
250
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
259
Who:
Wheatley
We're in space!
Listens:
1935
Who:
Wheatley
Am I being too vague? I despise you. I loathe you. You arrogant, smugly quiet, awful jumpsuited monster of a woman. You and your little potato friend. This place would have been a triumph if it wasn't for you!
Listens:
17602
Who:
Wheatley
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
I want to be plugged in, please!
Listens:
185
Who:
Wheatley
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1298
Who:
Core 1
Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?
Listens:
525
Who:
Defective Turret
Template
Listens:
2056
Who:
Announcer
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
769
Who:
Core 1
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