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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Be careful!
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
You are doing wonderfully.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, really? Space? Really? You should have said something! We had no idea!
Listens:
1963
Who:
Core 2
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
844
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! I'm delivering the first core up near the catwalk!
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
There's the exit! We're almost out of here!
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
Good. Now please return to your bed.
Listens:
1658
Who:
Announcer
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
821
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
1026
Who:
Core 1
Help!
Listens:
871
Who:
Turret
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
563
Who:
Defective Turret
You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
604
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep moving, keep moving...
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, that felt really good.
Listens:
1474
Who:
Wheatley
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Well played.
Listens:
462
Who:
Defective Turret
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
999
Who:
Defective Turret
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
769
Who:
GLaDOS
What a horrible little machine.
Listens:
611
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Listens:
754
Who:
Defective Turret
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!
Listens:
1194
Who:
Wheatley
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that in your memory banks?
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Wheeeeee-OHNO!
Listens:
8707
Who:
Turret
You will need him for the final track.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Follow the feeder tube to the generator room! I'll meet you there.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, go on, just pull that turret out.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
I want to be plugged in, please!
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Good!
Listens:
3061
Who:
Announcer
Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Pants were invented by sailors in the sixteenth century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god.
Listens:
2228
Who:
Core 3
You have to get to the catwalk behind me!
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
We're running out of time...
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
Explosion imminent. Evacuate the facility immediately.
Listens:
28979
Who:
Announcer
I'm kidding.
Listens:
903
Who:
GLaDOS
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
602
Who:
Wheatley
I’m scared!
Listens:
754
Who:
Turret
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
660
Who:
Wheatley
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
[Laughter]
Listens:
5863
Who:
GLaDOS
You're on your own.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?
Listens:
1230
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
572
Who:
GLaDOS
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
3755
Who:
Wheatley
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
924
Who:
Wheatley
[to self] Hm. Could be Spanish, could be Spanish. [loud again] Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta! Donde esta--no. Um...
Listens:
2600
Who:
Wheatley
Yahh. Gehhh!
Listens:
736
Who:
Wheatley
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
1079
Who:
Wheatley
Why?
Listens:
1117
Who:
Turret
What are you doing in there?
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now. [phone ringing] The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up. [Dial tone]
Listens:
28898
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait. Why DID you trundle over here? You're not HUNGRY, are you? It's hard to see, what's that in your hand? Knowing you it's a deep fryer.
Listens:
3672
Who:
GLaDOS
There's no turret in it... Maybe the system stores a backup image?
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Not entirely, not entirely. Look at the word 'test', on the wall there. That's brand new.
Listens:
393
Who:
Wheatley
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1668
Who:
Core 1
This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.
Listens:
3989
Who:
Announcer
Oh, just open the door! [to self] That's too aggressive. [loud again] Hello, friend! Why not open the door?
Listens:
3952
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
998
Who:
Wheatley
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
818
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves emancipation grills. Remember? I told you about them in the last test area, that did not have one.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on -
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
1045
Who:
Core 3
What are you two doing?
Listens:
505
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, quick recap: We are escaping! That's what's happening now: we're escaping. So you're doing great. Just keep running!
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
Listens:
709
Who:
Core 3
This is just getting embarrassing.
Listens:
1662
Who:
Defective Turret
Space!
Listens:
2899
Who:
Core 1
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. Not here. At Aperture, we do all our science from scratch. No hand holding.
Listens:
3574
Who:
Cave Johnson
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
527
Who:
Core 2
Good shot!
Listens:
771
Who:
Turret
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
This place is huge.
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
Ahh!
Listens:
1440
Who:
Turret
Oh! Oh! Did it kill you? Oh, that would be amazing if it killed you.
Listens:
724
Who:
Wheatley
Even humans, as stupid as they are, would say you look stupid when you do that.
Listens:
620
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
652
Who:
GLaDOS
If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim.
Listens:
1501
Who:
Announcer
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
1205
Who:
Announcer
This isn't fair!
Listens:
679
Who:
Defective Turret
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
It's not like I've got hordes of replacement monitors just lying around back here in the old warehouse that I can just wheel out an bolt back on. I didn't order in loads of spare monitors thinking some crazy woman was going to go around smashing them all. Sorry if that's my fault. Sorry if I didn't have the forethought to think oh she might go crazy one day instead of just getting on with things. Sorry I didn't think of that.
Listens:
9049
Who:
Wheatley
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
587
Who:
Core 2
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Nooooooooo...
Listens:
1616
Who:
Defective Turret
5000 point penalty! Are you happy now?
Listens:
1758
Who:
GLaDOS
The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
1348
Who:
GLaDOS
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
1002
Who:
Core 1
Might as well give you the tour.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Where'd you go?
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open this door? Because it's fairly urgent.
Listens:
371
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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