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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
276
Who:
Core 3
There we go. Lift called.
Listens:
122
Who:
Wheatley
Good, that's still working.
Listens:
1353
Who:
GLaDOS
[hums 'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow']
Listens:
2796
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought of some good news. He's going to run out of test chambers eventually. I never stockpiled them.
Listens:
139
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
865
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
1043
Who:
Core 1
Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I'll be honest, we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out.
Listens:
6680
Who:
Cave Johnson
I agree, Blue. That was entertaining.
Listens:
122
Who:
GLaDOS
Press it! Press the button!
Listens:
793
Who:
GLaDOS
You messed with the wrong turret!
Listens:
12671
Who:
Defective Turret
This is a sterile environment; please refrain from riding on the turret line.
Listens:
410
Who:
Announcer
It's happening sooner than I expected.
Listens:
123
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, come on!
Listens:
193
Who:
Defective Turret
Sir!
Listens:
746
Who:
Caroline
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
487
Who:
Turret
How can you fail at this? It isn't even a test.
Listens:
1050
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
446
Who:
Turret
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
195
Who:
Wheatley
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
121
Who:
Wheatley
You win.
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
Reactor explosion in four minutes.
Listens:
2233
Who:
Announcer
Keep it up and you will lose 500 points.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
Get to HER! I'll find you!
Listens:
122
Who:
Wheatley
Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
Listens:
715
Who:
Core 3
Lacks charisma.
Listens:
122
Who:
GLaDOS
The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
954
Who:
Core 3
See nothing bad happened.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
162
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're dying, but not dead, stomp once. If you're dead, obviously no stomps. And two stomps if you're not dead. Lemme just run through that again: If you're dying but not dead stomp just once. If you're dead, obviously you won't be stomping. And if you're not dead, give me two stomps.
Listens:
789
Who:
Wheatley
If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Listens:
212
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
Listens:
19189
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This Plate must not be calibrated to someone of your... generous... ness. I'll add a few zeros to the maximum weight.
Listens:
42395
Who:
GLaDOS
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
Listens:
715
Who:
Core 3
Pop a portal on that wall behind me there, and I'll meet you on the other side of the room.
Listens:
121
Who:
Wheatley
This body is amazing, seriously!
Listens:
168
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! What can we do with me then. I know! Plug me into the port, please.
Listens:
121
Who:
Wheatley
You know, in some human sports, the winner is the one who scores the fewest possible points?
Listens:
143
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
217
Who:
Defective Turret
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
255
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
217
Who:
GLaDOS
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
165
Who:
Wheatley
It worked!
Listens:
124
Who:
Wheatley
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
2129
Who:
Caroline
Um. You've got a yacht. And... Boys! Loads of fellas. Hunky guys down there. Possibly even a boyfriend! Who's to say at this stage. But, a lot of good looking fellas down there. And, ah, a boy band as well! That haven't seen a woman in years. And they're not picky at all. They don't care if you've got a bit of brain damage. If you've been running around sweating. And... A farm! A pony farm! And... Just jump down, would ya?
Listens:
156065
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks!
Listens:
220
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home.
Listens:
787
Who:
Core 1
Anxious.
Listens:
122
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. You MIGHT want to hang onto to something. Word of advice, up to you.
Listens:
143
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
659
Who:
GLaDOS
It's my big chance!
Listens:
561
Who:
Defective Turret
Sorry, what?
Listens:
704
Who:
Wheatley
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
Not much of a plan, if I'm honest. But I'm afraid it's all we have at his point. Barring a sudden barrage of speech from your direction. Improbable. At best.
Listens:
129
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want this!
Listens:
13500
Who:
Caroline
Go on. Just jam me in over there.
Listens:
121
Who:
Wheatley
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
197
Who:
Defective Turret
Always sad.
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
Please put me down
Listens:
597
Who:
Turret
Ohhhh, here we go... here it comes...
Listens:
193
Who:
Wheatley
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
1476
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright, I'm pulling you out.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! There you are. Great. Let me just get rid of this catwalk.
Listens:
169
Who:
Wheatley
It won't be enough.
Listens:
527
Who:
Turret
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
585
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
We're so close! Go press the button!
Listens:
870
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not do it!
Listens:
167
Who:
Wheatley
Fine, 500 point penalty for Blue.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
SPACE!
Listens:
13679
Who:
Wheatley
Space!
Listens:
900
Who:
Core 1
Undermines others.
Listens:
137
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
205
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh my.
Listens:
235
Who:
Turret
I am not sure how I can make these tests any easier for you.
Listens:
123
Who:
GLaDOS
Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material.
Listens:
1329
Who:
Core 3
Wait! I know! You get into the lift, okay? Then I'll eject myself out of my new body into the lift just as you pass by me! Brilliant.
Listens:
131
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
595
Who:
Wheatley
Space space going to space oh boy
Listens:
1186
Who:
Core 1
Blue
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
1039
Who:
Turret
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
So. If you've got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them.
Listens:
124
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
753
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you feel more human?
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
315
Who:
Core 3
Error. Error. Error. Fact not found.
Listens:
803
Who:
Core 3
Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking of all the ways humans can die.
Listens:
766
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
263
Who:
Wheatley
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
505
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
167
Who:
Wheatley
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
636
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here.
Listens:
1081
Who:
Core 2
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
607
Who:
Core 2
It's not, though.
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
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