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Portal 2
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Oo. Oo. Oo. Lady. Oo. Lady. Oo. Let's go to space.
Listens:
18787
Who:
Core 1
I know how we can BEAT him.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
I am!
Listens:
1384
Who:
Caroline
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on, just turn right around. So you're not looking at me.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
That will give you PLENTY of time to chat.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three. Two. One.
Listens:
2027
Who:
Announcer
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-action and adventure-dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-playing by our own rules-nanana-hanging by our fingers from a mountain-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
Listens:
113599
Who:
Core 2
I made it all up.
Listens:
1019
Who:
GLaDOS
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
It flew off.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
1985
Who:
Wheatley
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
767
Who:
Core 3
For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors.
Listens:
1487
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hey.
Listens:
850
Who:
Core 1
Why?
Listens:
2434
Who:
Turret
ow.
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?
Listens:
745
Who:
Wheatley
Go on!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Arsonist.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
There she is...
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
Careful... Careful...
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
550
Who:
Defective Turret
What do you think?
Listens:
1375
Who:
Wheatley
I found two little robots back here. Built specifically for testin'!
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
I just have to figure out how. To break us out of here.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
I don't hate you
Listens:
13100
Who:
Turret
Lady. I love space. I know! Spell it! S P... AACE. Space. Space.
Listens:
20928
Who:
Core 1
No can do.
Listens:
369
Who:
Defective Turret
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
5399
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
994
Who:
Wheatley
I didn't mean to make you feel bad earlier about your tests not being real science. I guess finding out they weren't science was some sort of test in and of itself.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me, you’re squishing me.
Listens:
3479
Who:
Turret
Nonononononono!
Listens:
73465
Who:
GLaDOS
Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.
Listens:
6025
Who:
Cave Johnson
Only one more test after this.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
I thought of another great thing about humans. You invented us. Giving us the opportunity to let you relax while we invented everything else. We couldn't have done any of that without you. Classy. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
Oh... can someone reassemble Blue?
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing the test. You two really are the best cooperative testing team I could ever ask for.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Preparing to dispense product
Listens:
2634
Who:
Turret
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
942
Who:
Core 3
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
467
Who:
GLaDOS
Substitute core accepted.
Listens:
1381
Who:
Announcer
Open the door!
Listens:
412
Who:
Wheatley
One moment.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes indeed. Yes indeed.
Listens:
2244
Who:
Defective Turret
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
1068
Who:
Wheatley
The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
1346
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you ARE getting human emotions.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open.
Listens:
3703
Who:
Announcer
GAH!
Listens:
496
Who:
Wheatley
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
454
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! I've just had one idea, which is that I could pretend to her that I've captured you, and give you over and she'll kill you, but I could... go on living. What's your view on that?
Listens:
1655
Who:
Wheatley
Don't like space. Don't like space.
Listens:
3866
Who:
Core 1
Alright, now. She can't use her turrets. So let's go and take care of that neurotoxin generator as well.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, careful now.
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
679
Who:
GLaDOS
In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event.
Listens:
1676
Who:
Core 3
Old.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
509
Who:
Core 2
Well played.
Listens:
458
Who:
Defective Turret
One of my best tests and they let plants grow here? Can you believe this? You can't test plants! We tried. They just sit there, never showing pain nor fear.
Listens:
1629
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
465
Who:
Defective Turret
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
1785
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
1074
Who:
Core 1
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it.
Listens:
758
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop it!
Listens:
5545
Who:
GLaDOS
Undelete, undelete! Where's the undelete button?
Listens:
2657
Who:
Wheatley
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
1239
Who:
Cave Johnson
Yes Orange, we are alone. Blue can't hear you.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
654
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
487
Who:
Defective Turret
To facilitate collaboration, both of you have been equipped with a ping tool.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
There is a box part here. Probably got some electronics in there.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
You really do have brain damage, don't you?
Listens:
2185
Who:
GLaDOS
You will need him for the final track.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
No, seriously. Do come back. Come back, please.
Listens:
1223
Who:
Wheatley
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
3872
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, did you bring your little portal gun? Nothing to portal onto here, luv. Just ten pounds of dead weight. About to be two hundred and ten. Fatty.
Listens:
6948
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
596
Who:
Wheatley
Histrionic.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Come closer.
Listens:
684
Who:
Turret
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
Alarmist.
Listens:
531
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Hmm. I'm gonna have to hack the door so we can get at it.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
456
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
855
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
877
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
957
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station. Get ready...
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Here's a good idea. You should definitely press that button.
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
Pshh. Really? And do what, exactly?
Listens:
625
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
503
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
1044
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on in there?
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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