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Portal 2
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And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
396
Who:
Wheatley
Do hear that? That's the sound of the neurotoxin emitters emitting neurotoxin.
Listens:
1043
Who:
GLaDOS
Wow.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Blue is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
456
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
440
Who:
Wheatley
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
232
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
197
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m afraid of heights!
Listens:
801
Who:
Turret
I'm sure we'll be fine.
Listens:
168
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, you win.
Listens:
515
Who:
Turret
I shouldn't spoil this, but... remember how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a present for you. Well, I guess it's more of a medical procedure. Well, technically it's more of a medical experiment. You know how excruciating it is when someone removes all of your bone marrow? Well, what if after I did that, I put something back IN that added four years to your life?
Listens:
2426
Who:
GLaDOS
Aristotle versus Mashy-spike-plate!
Listens:
22794
Who:
Wheatley
If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Listens:
233
Who:
GLaDOS
The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering.
Listens:
426
Who:
Core 3
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Button.
Listens:
777
Who:
Wheatley
Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.
Listens:
23255
Who:
GLaDOS
They say the old caretaker of this place went absolutely crazy. Chopped up his entire staff. Of robots. All of them robots. They say at night you can still hear the screams. Of their replicas. All of them functionally indistinguishable from the originals. No memory of the incident. Nobody knows what they’re screaming about. Absolutely terrifying. Though obviously not paranormal in any meaningful way.
Listens:
14144
Who:
Wheatley
Um.
Listens:
262
Who:
Defective Turret
You will know it when you find it.
Listens:
151
Who:
GLaDOS
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
469
Who:
Wheatley
There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it.
Listens:
799
Who:
Announcer
OW.
Listens:
209
Who:
Wheatley
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Facial grimacing.
Listens:
161
Who:
GLaDOS
Nooooooooo...
Listens:
1027
Who:
Defective Turret
Aggh! I'm going the wrong way!
Listens:
159
Who:
Wheatley
Remember when I told you that you were the only subjects to pass the calibration tests?
Listens:
158
Who:
GLaDOS
But you two have become quite the team. Extremely close.
Listens:
170
Who:
GLaDOS
Quick word about the future plans that I've got in store.
Listens:
150
Who:
Wheatley
PART FIVE! BOOBYTRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!
Listens:
4281
Who:
Wheatley
Well, you know the old formula: Comedy equals tragedy plus time. And you have been asleep for a while. So I guess it's actually pretty funny when you do the math.
Listens:
14143
Who:
GLaDOS
I think after that display, we should take a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
152
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1311
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
359
Who:
Defective Turret
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
666
Who:
Cave Johnson
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
I swear I know him...
Listens:
200
Who:
GLaDOS
The way you two just gave up on that test together shows you are really working as a team.
Listens:
152
Who:
GLaDOS
Participates unconstructively. Obviously a time-waster.
Listens:
181
Who:
GLaDOS
How was that?
Listens:
209
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. Hi.
Listens:
1604
Who:
GLaDOS
And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?
Listens:
1207
Who:
Wheatley
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m on fire.
Listens:
1525
Who:
Turret
Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
Listens:
21603
Who:
GLaDOS
This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]
Listens:
8928
Who:
Announcer
I’m scared!
Listens:
415
Who:
Turret
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
492
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
227
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, where are we goingNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Listens:
2590
Who:
Defective Turret
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
183
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
There you are! I was starting to get worried.
Listens:
167
Who:
Wheatley
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Searching
Listens:
522
Who:
Turret
Charmless.
Listens:
163
Who:
GLaDOS
And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic. So you know what?
Listens:
2243
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
1519
Who:
Wheatley
Histrionic.
Listens:
151
Who:
GLaDOS
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
672
Who:
Cave Johnson
Pens. Might need those. Don't see any though. So...
Listens:
162
Who:
Wheatley
This would go a lot faster if you'd stay still. Then I'd have time to fix the facility. So one of us at least would live. No need to be selfish, luv, you're gonna die.
Listens:
1425
Who:
Wheatley
Machiavellian!
Listens:
736
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Oh thank god, you're alright.
Listens:
1278
Who:
GLaDOS
No no wait wait waitAGGGHHHH
Listens:
1349
Who:
Defective Turret
You really do have brain damage, don't you?
Listens:
1419
Who:
GLaDOS
Back again!
Listens:
653
Who:
Defective Turret
During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice.
Listens:
1152
Who:
Core 3
ow.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
627
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, it's fluttering its wings. Tell you what, mate. I'll come in there for a minute and cover you so you can have a look at this lovely bird! I'll come in. I'll do all the neurotoxin stuff. And then you come out here and look at this. Because it is lovely. It is lovely. You want to get out here fast. Seriously, my pleasure sounds are going to frighten the bird away any second. Ohhh, it's not working, is it? He's not interested in bloody birds.
Listens:
2401
Who:
Wheatley
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
228
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth. Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
2045
Who:
Core 1
Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis.
Listens:
898
Who:
GLaDOS
I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
Listens:
222
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
Try it now.
Listens:
171
Who:
GLaDOS
Argumentative.
Listens:
158
Who:
GLaDOS
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-action and adventure-dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-playing by our own rules-nanana-hanging by our fingers from a mountain-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
Listens:
99970
Who:
Core 2
There must be something wrong with the reassembly machine.
Listens:
819
Who:
GLaDOS
Hellllooo, imbecile.
Listens:
3210
Who:
GLaDOS
I did everything you asked!
Listens:
2213
Who:
Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
276
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
229
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate detected. Transfer procedure cannot continue.
Listens:
1797
Who:
Announcer
Enh!
Listens:
160
Who:
Wheatley
Cheater.
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
Now than, let's see what we got here. Ah! 'Reactor Core Emergency Heat Venting Protocols.' That's the problem right there, isn't it? 'Emergency'. You don't want to see 'emergency' flashing at you. Never good that, is it? Right. DELETE.
Listens:
994
Who:
Wheatley
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
454
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, nice potato!
Listens:
85039
Who:
Defective Turret
You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Ummmm. Yeah, I can't do it if you're watching.
Listens:
180
Who:
Wheatley
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
You know when I mentioned ten minutes? A little bit optimistic!
Listens:
155
Who:
Wheatley
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
598
Who:
Core 2
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
531
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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