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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Random
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Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
867
Who:
Wheatley
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
756
Who:
Core 1
Oh, and don't bother trying to portal out of here, because it's impossible, okay? I thought of everything.
Listens:
197
Who:
Wheatley
What is this, like a hobby for you now? I mean, honestly, it's crazy! You've been running around for hours, I'm surprised you have the energy to smash screens willy nilly. Honestly, I'd have a little lie down if I were you. Have a nap.
Listens:
500
Who:
Wheatley
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-DUN! DUN DUN! Dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-DUN! DUN DUN! nananaDUNDUNDUN dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
Listens:
3689
Who:
Core 2
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
674
Who:
Core 3
Hey, safe travels, there.
Listens:
247
Who:
Defective Turret
No thanks! We're good! Appreciate it!
Listens:
217
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, hang on. What if we gave it something ELSE to scan?
Listens:
162
Who:
Wheatley
PART FIVE! BOOBYTRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!
Listens:
4403
Who:
Wheatley
I give you a score of 3.4 for style and 10 for being annoying.
Listens:
1019
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
303
Who:
Defective Turret
Though it does give me an idea: WHAT if we stand here and let the gentle hum of the laser transport us to a state of absolute relaxation. Might help us think of a way to open the door.
Listens:
214
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha, YES! I knew you'd solve it!
Listens:
188
Who:
Wheatley
Where am I? Guess. Guess guess guess. I'm in space.
Listens:
2506
Who:
Core 1
Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
Listens:
162
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
1596
Who:
Wheatley
[BUZZER NOISE]
Listens:
14075
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
351
Who:
Defective Turret
First up, conversion gel. [cough]
Listens:
1249
Who:
Cave Johnson
Can you get out?
Listens:
169
Who:
Wheatley
Hibernating
Listens:
558
Who:
Turret
Dang!
Listens:
297
Who:
Defective Turret
Dang.
Listens:
300
Who:
Defective Turret
There we go. Lights on.
Listens:
176
Who:
Wheatley
Come on through.
Listens:
163
Who:
Wheatley
Well, no matter. Because I'm STILL holding all the cards, and guess what: they're allll Full Houses! I've never played cards. Meaning to learn.
Listens:
1559
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, blue isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Orange is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
Listens:
176
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, fine. Let's all act like humans. 'Look at me. Boy, do I love sweating. Let's convert beef and leaves into energy and excrete them later and go shopping.'
Listens:
38947
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
While teamwork is needed to complete these tests, I am not sure I trust the two of you together.
Listens:
159
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on come on come on!
Listens:
159
Who:
Wheatley
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job. You've applied the grip. We're all fine. That's tremendous.
Listens:
197
Who:
Wheatley
Try something.
Listens:
164
Who:
GLaDOS
I should congratulate you, by the way. I didn't actually think you'd make such a worthy opponent. Weren't you supposed to be brain damaged or something? yeah, brain damaged like a fox.
Listens:
1390
Who:
Wheatley
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
180
Who:
Wheatley
[Whispered] For the record: You ARE adopted, and that's TERRIBLE.
Listens:
2752
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to escape, we're going to have to go through HER chamber.
Listens:
165
Who:
Wheatley
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
415
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
264
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. You have unlocked all available courses.
Listens:
2233
Who:
Announcer
In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself.
Listens:
2582
Who:
Core 3
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
425
Who:
Wheatley
Did you put a virus in them? It's not going to work either. I've got a firewall, mate. Literally, actually, now that I look around. There appears to be literally a wall of fire around this place. Alarming. To say the least.
Listens:
19503
Who:
Wheatley
Yes.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Being Caroline taught me another valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
659
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
779
Who:
Wheatley
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
What do you have there?
Listens:
164
Who:
Wheatley
I think they wanted to punish them by not allowing me to include them in testing.
Listens:
159
Who:
GLaDOS
Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.
Listens:
4161
Who:
Cave Johnson
I have the results of the last chamber: You are a horrible person. That's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that.
Listens:
2718
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
No variances detected.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Aristotle versus Mashy-spike-plate!
Listens:
23248
Who:
Wheatley
Until now.
Listens:
179
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you hear that? She has really kicked this place into high gear now.
Listens:
167
Who:
Wheatley
Agh!
Listens:
181
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
768
Who:
Defective Turret
You will know it when you find it.
Listens:
163
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, can't win 'em all.
Listens:
228
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
279
Who:
Defective Turret
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Please refrain from doing those childish gestures while you are out there.
Listens:
166
Who:
GLaDOS
You're okay! Great! Come on!
Listens:
208
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, fine. I'll ask you again in a few decades.
Listens:
168
Who:
GLaDOS
You're on your own.
Listens:
172
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not do it!
Listens:
236
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, off you go!
Listens:
168
Who:
Wheatley
Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
Listens:
161
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
539
Who:
Defective Turret
Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.
Listens:
1475
Who:
GLaDOS
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
280
Who:
Defective Turret
There. Try it now.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
If you were wondering how could you annoy me without failing a test. Now you know.
Listens:
164
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye!
Listens:
2307
Who:
Turret
Oh, good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that.
Listens:
45251
Who:
GLaDOS
Never completes work.
Listens:
180
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing.
Listens:
5288
Who:
Defective Turret
Not bad. I forgot how good you are at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have A LOT of tests to do.
Listens:
2077
Who:
GLaDOS
What'd I hit?
Listens:
237
Who:
Defective Turret
But I'm huge! [laugh turning to maniacal laugh]
Listens:
32670
Who:
Wheatley
Space...
Listens:
5784
Who:
Core 1
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into space.
Listens:
1829
Who:
Core 2
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
882
Who:
GLaDOS
So twisty you might even call it spinning. MOO HOO HA HA HA Ignore the laughter. Nothing to worry about.
Listens:
977
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh...
Listens:
286
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
220
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on.
Listens:
589
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
587
Who:
GLaDOS
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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