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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Really? Okay.
Listens:
896
Who:
GLaDOS
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
Wait, where are you going? Where are you going?
Listens:
230
Who:
Wheatley
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you thought to yourself, 'I've missed the window of time to voice my reservations.' Still open.
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey lady.
Listens:
898
Who:
Core 1
Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing.
Listens:
726
Who:
GLaDOS
If the Earth is currently governed by a manner of animal-king, sentient cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to or is incapable of listening to reason, th- [RECORDING SHORTS OUT]
Listens:
3840
Who:
Announcer
Anyway, look, we're really close to busting out, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
755
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
505
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
OW.
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, look, the point is, we're gonna break out of here! Very soon, I promise, I promise!
Listens:
224
Who:
Wheatley
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
609
Who:
Wheatley
Shutting down
Listens:
12748
Who:
Turret
Ohhh, the Sun. I'm gonna meet the Sun. Oh no! What'll I say? 'Hi! Hi, Sun!' Oh, boy!
Listens:
3174
Who:
Core 1
Could you just jump into that pit? There. That deadly pit.
Listens:
1658
Who:
Wheatley
I think these test chambers look even better than they did before. It was easy, really. You just have to look at things objectively, see what you don't need anymore, and trim out the fat.
Listens:
3132
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
608
Who:
GLaDOS
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
435
Who:
Core 2
science collaboration points.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
It worked!
Listens:
231
Who:
Wheatley
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
602
Who:
Core 2
Always cold.
Listens:
251
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
716
Who:
Core 1
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahahaha
Listens:
1870
Who:
Turret
Hello?
Listens:
5518
Who:
Turret
Come on through.
Listens:
233
Who:
Wheatley
Like the potato!
Listens:
174277
Who:
Defective Turret
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life.
Listens:
81306
Who:
GLaDOS
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
Your vitals remain well within testing norms, so there is no need to worry about sudden death from collaborative shock syndrome.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
899
Who:
Wheatley
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
465
Who:
Wheatley
This next test involves turrets. You remember them, right? They're the pale spherical things that are full of bullets. Oh wait. That's you in five seconds. Good luck.
Listens:
1525
Who:
GLaDOS
I blame myself.
Listens:
1052
Who:
Turret
We will attempt to comply with these now non-existent agencies by playing some more smooth jazz.
Listens:
2982
Who:
Announcer
This is the last test for the standard course. It's just something I whipped up for you. I thought you might enjoy a challenge for once.
Listens:
225
Who:
GLaDOS
It burns.
Listens:
2467
Who:
Turret
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
494
Who:
GLaDOS
Why...
Listens:
2492
Who:
Turret
Pick--would you pick me up?
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
Yes it is! We can use it to get out of here!
Listens:
232
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue! Orange has always been my favorite.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
Listens:
236
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh!
Listens:
1203
Who:
Turret
So go ahead and jump. What's the worst that could happen? Oh. Oh wait, I just now thought of the worst thing. Oh! I just thought of something even worse. Alright. New, better plan: no imagining of any potential outcomes whatsoever. Just jump, into the abyss, there, and let's see what happens.
Listens:
549
Who:
Wheatley
Well, maybe it's time I did something then.
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
Don't do it.
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
2525
Who:
Turret
You have to get to the catwalk behind me!
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
You really aren't getting tired of that, are you?
Listens:
1199
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!
Listens:
362416
Who:
Core 1
Good, that's still working.
Listens:
1793
Who:
GLaDOS
We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: it's a lively one, and it does NOT like the human skeleton.
Listens:
2184
Who:
Cave Johnson
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh, we're so close, plug me in!
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
And another thing! You never caught me. I told you I could die falling off that rail. And you didn't catch me. You didn't even try. Oh, it's all becoming clear to me now. Find some dupe to break you out of cryosleep. Give him a sob story about escaping to the surface. Squeeze him for information on where to find a portal gun.
Listens:
3866
Who:
Wheatley
DO press it.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
596
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis.
Listens:
1086
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't understand!
Listens:
5153
Who:
Turret
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
493
Who:
Core 3
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh]
Listens:
37259
Who:
Cave Johnson
Alright, I'm pulling you out.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Anyone in there?
Listens:
1147
Who:
Wheatley
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
400
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! Up here!
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
While it may appear that I am only tracking your accomplishments using science collaboration points, the truth is every aspect of your performance will be reflected in your final score.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Ha ha ha!
Listens:
318
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!
Listens:
233
Who:
Wheatley
So: there's PLENTY of time to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
Happy Explosion Day, gorgeous.
Listens:
3053
Who:
Core 2
I consider that a failing, by the way.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
I let him keep his job. I'm not a monster. Ignore what he's saying, though. Keep testing.
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him.
Listens:
1131
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Hi.
Listens:
2066
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
If I made these tests any easier, they wouldn't be tests.
Listens:
234
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature.
Listens:
15443
Who:
Announcer
Wheeeeeeee!
Listens:
2956
Who:
Turret
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
643
Who:
Core 2
Yeghh!
Listens:
464
Who:
Wheatley
four
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
836
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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