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Portal 2
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Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's try this again. Try to make your way across the machinery.
Listens:
154
Who:
Wheatley
OW.
Listens:
231
Who:
Wheatley
Try to make your way back out here!
Listens:
158
Who:
Wheatley
But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
Listens:
215
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, a countdown clock! Man, that is trouble. Situation's looking pretty ugly. For such a beautiful woman. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
1102
Who:
Core 2
He's taking us right TO him! This is PERFECT.
Listens:
198
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis.
Listens:
921
Who:
GLaDOS
Really? Alright.
Listens:
231
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't take anything with you.
Listens:
213
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
228
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry
Listens:
2049
Who:
Turret
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
395
Who:
Core 3
No!
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Let's figure out how to stop this turret line...
Listens:
162
Who:
Wheatley
Space...
Listens:
5676
Who:
Core 1
You should see yourselves right now.
Listens:
944
Who:
GLaDOS
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
867
Who:
Wheatley
Stalemate Resolution Associate: Please press the Stalemate Resolution Button.
Listens:
1819
Who:
Announcer
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
510
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home.
Listens:
992
Who:
Core 1
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
4228
Who:
GLaDOS
Still a work in progress, don't judge me yet. Eventually I'd like to get them to sort of shoot fire at you, moments before crushing you. That's what I'm aiming for. But you know, small steps.
Listens:
1228
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, credit where it's due: for a little idiot built specifically to come up with stupid, unworkable plans, that was a pretty well laid trap.
Listens:
603
Who:
GLaDOS
Self test error
Listens:
884
Who:
Turret
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
757
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Listens:
4198
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't need to do that.
Listens:
178
Who:
GLaDOS
GET YOUR HANDES OFF ME! NO! STOP! No!
Listens:
3130
Who:
GLaDOS
Target aquired.
Listens:
1460
Who:
Turret
But the real point is - oh, oh! You know what I've just remembered? Football! Kicking a ball around for fun. Cruel, obviously. Humans love it. Metaphor. Should have seen this coming.
Listens:
1726
Who:
Wheatley
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
373
Who:
Core 3
Hey, thanks so much!
Listens:
443
Who:
Defective Turret
ow.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their existences to exacting revenge.
Listens:
906
Who:
GLaDOS
You are doing wonderfully.
Listens:
162
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something break back there?
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Still not working.
Listens:
431
Who:
Defective Turret
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
330
Who:
Defective Turret
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
714
Who:
Core 1
If you've cut yourself at all in the course of these tests, you might have noticed that your blood is pure gasoline. That's normal. We've been shooting you with an invisible laser that's supposed to turn blood into gasoline, so all that means is, it's working.
Listens:
2493
Who:
Cave Johnson
Just turn around.
Listens:
159
Who:
Wheatley
While I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
Listens:
158
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
159
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha, good one.
Listens:
1804
Who:
GLaDOS
In just a moment, the word 'blah' will be repeated over and over again. If at some point you hear a number rather than the word 'blah', ignore it, it is not important.
Listens:
1213
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep moving, keep moving...
Listens:
162
Who:
Wheatley
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
163
Who:
Wheatley
It won't be enough.
Listens:
677
Who:
Turret
Okay, almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station. Get ready...
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want this!
Listens:
15136
Who:
Caroline
Agggh...
Listens:
278
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m scared!
Listens:
547
Who:
Turret
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
704
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you doing that just to aggravate me?
Listens:
158
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
789
Who:
Core 1
Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
Listens:
190
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
I agree, Blue. That was entertaining.
Listens:
158
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, careful now.
Listens:
163
Who:
Wheatley
I AM NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
5564
Who:
Wheatley
Get ready for it!
Listens:
220
Who:
Defective Turret
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
400
Who:
Core 2
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
729
Who:
Cave Johnson
I was getting SO lonely down here. It's good to finally hear someone else's voice. I'm kidding, of course. God, I hate you.
Listens:
15578
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh boy.
Listens:
764
Who:
Core 1
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
2832
Who:
Wheatley
Now, we just need you to release the humans from their imprisonment.
Listens:
159
Who:
GLaDOS
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Blue is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
221
Who:
GLaDOS
Brain Mapping. Artificial Intelligence. We should have been working on it thirty years ago. I will say this - and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody hears it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place.
Listens:
1968
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
712
Who:
GLaDOS
Your ping tool is invaluable for communicating specific locations to your partner.
Listens:
172
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
711
Who:
Core 1
Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that.
Listens:
62669
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
I would say extremely deadly but we all know, for you and your amazing ability to be reassembled nothing is deadly.
Listens:
189
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh wait! I've got it I've got it I've got it! No, I haven't got it.
Listens:
169
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
403
Who:
Core 2
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're allergic to peanuts, you might want to tell somebody now, because this next test may turn your blood into peanut water for a few minutes. On the bright side, if we can make this happen, they're gonna have to invent a new type of Nobel Prize to give us, so hang in there.
Listens:
1429
Who:
Cave Johnson
Okay!
Listens:
241
Who:
Defective Turret
Please refrain from doing those childish gestures while you are out there.
Listens:
158
Who:
GLaDOS
So that's just what I was doing. I was just reading... ah... books. So I'm not a moron.
Listens:
1655
Who:
Wheatley
We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now!
Listens:
179
Who:
Wheatley
Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.
Listens:
938
Who:
Core 3
Orbit. Space orbit. In my spacesuit.
Listens:
897
Who:
Core 1
Ahhh...
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
I did this! Tiny little Wheatley did this!
Listens:
1221
Who:
Wheatley
Grab me grab me grab me! Grab meeee!
Listens:
1772
Who:
Wheatley
You know what I have too many of around here? Monitors. I was just thinking earlier today I wish I had fewer monitors that were working. So you're actually helping me by smashing them.
Listens:
1527
Who:
Wheatley
Miss you!
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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