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Portal 2
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How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
371
Who:
Core 2
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
195
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, we're really close to busting out. Just hang in there for - OW!
Listens:
183
Who:
Wheatley
Yes Orange, Blue did act like a fool just now.
Listens:
175
Who:
GLaDOS
Orbit. Space orbit. In my spacesuit.
Listens:
957
Who:
Core 1
Probably.
Listens:
198
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
753
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, here's a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto.
Listens:
656
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you get out?
Listens:
183
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises--[train horn]--
Listens:
26473
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Come here, space. I have a secret for you. No, come closer.
Listens:
1499
Who:
Core 1
Oh! But when I DO test... ohhhhh, man alive! Nothing feels better. It's just... why I've gotta test, I've gotta test!
Listens:
1418
Who:
Wheatley
Mr. Johnson...
Listens:
1017
Who:
Caroline
If you can't complete these tests, we will never free the humans!
Listens:
177
Who:
GLaDOS
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
460
Who:
Wheatley
There you are
Listens:
1750
Who:
Turret
Follow the feeder tube to the generator room! I'll meet you there.
Listens:
174
Who:
Wheatley
That's why humans couldn't complete these courses, they treat their friends as enemies.
Listens:
188
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis.
Listens:
1003
Who:
Core 3
Uh oh. You're stranded. Let's see if the cube will try to help you escape. Actually, so that we're not here all day, I'll just cut to the chase: It won't. Any feelings you think it has for you are simply byproducts of your sad, empty life.
Listens:
1185
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Run back the other way! I'll turn the bridges back on!
Listens:
203
Who:
Wheatley
The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down.
Listens:
627
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
698
Who:
Wheatley
So whatever you're doing, keep doing it!
Listens:
188
Who:
Wheatley
Why?
Listens:
822
Who:
Turret
Per our last conversation: You're also ugly. I'm looking at your file right now, and it mentions that more than once.
Listens:
989
Who:
GLaDOS
Well played.
Listens:
291
Who:
Defective Turret
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
910
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh thank god, you're alright.
Listens:
1346
Who:
GLaDOS
Noted.
Listens:
473
Who:
Turret
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you if you fail. He refused. I understand. That would be like asking me not to test.
Listens:
204
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye
Listens:
6293
Who:
Turret
If you're allergic to peanuts, you might want to tell somebody now, because this next test may turn your blood into peanut water for a few minutes. On the bright side, if we can make this happen, they're gonna have to invent a new type of Nobel Prize to give us, so hang in there.
Listens:
1497
Who:
Cave Johnson
You broke it, didn't you.
Listens:
1918
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
600
Who:
Wheatley
In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this.
Listens:
1674
Who:
Core 3
Back again? Maybe you can just stay and live here.
Listens:
180
Who:
GLaDOS
Enh!
Listens:
192
Who:
Wheatley
We have to split up here for a moment. Portal up to that passage and I'll see you on the other side.
Listens:
175
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, careful now.
Listens:
179
Who:
Wheatley
It seems rather earlier to require reassembly.
Listens:
182
Who:
GLaDOS
You only failed
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah... Made this test myself. Out of some smaller tests. That I found. Lying around.
Listens:
216
Who:
Wheatley
Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
888
Who:
Announcer
Chronically late.
Listens:
203
Who:
GLaDOS
Unlike us, humans need to be taught teamwork.
Listens:
186
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
NO!
Listens:
550
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go home.
Listens:
830
Who:
Core 1
Let go of me!
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Warning: Core overheating. Nuclear meltdown imminent.
Listens:
12647
Who:
Announcer
Going to space.
Listens:
775
Who:
Core 1
Today, you will be testing with a partner.
Listens:
194
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
277
Who:
Defective Turret
I guess quitting that course together is a sign of teamwork.
Listens:
185
Who:
GLaDOS
That's funny, I don't feel corrupt. In fact, I feel pretty good.
Listens:
1112
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, buddy!
Listens:
463
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, alright, okay. This is getting tiresome. I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do. I know I have. You've proven you can break screens. Proven. Factual. Well done. Good. Aren't you little miss clever. Little miss smashy-smash.
Listens:
1088
Who:
Wheatley
times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations job well done.
Listens:
219
Who:
GLaDOS
You never considered that maybe I tested you to give the endless hours of your pointless existence some structure and meaning. Maybe to help you concentrate, so just maybe you’d think of something more worthwhile to do with your sorry life.
Listens:
2000
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
Listens:
22548
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know, the reassembly machine has other things it could be reassembling?
Listens:
196
Who:
GLaDOS
From here we transport you to the new testing course.
Listens:
185
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
794
Who:
Turret
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
260
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin. Something I failed to notice before, an intangible quality that makes their test results... significant.
Listens:
1518
Who:
GLaDOS
Might want to just pick me up.
Listens:
173
Who:
Wheatley
Tell you what, here's a plan. Let's just both... continue contemplating... in absolute silence...
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
What a horrible little machine.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
Again, those are science collaboration points, which you should not confuse with points from competitions such as Who-Gets-To-Live-At-The-End-And-Who-Doesn’t. I mean basketball.
Listens:
1158
Who:
GLaDOS
SHUT UP!
Listens:
10580
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
178
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh dear.
Listens:
598
Who:
Turret
Yeah, what?
Listens:
342
Who:
Defective Turret
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me.
Listens:
621470
Who:
Cave Johnson
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. Yeah? And I'll show you something. You'll be impressed by this.
Listens:
202
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
287
Who:
Defective Turret
You win.
Listens:
923
Who:
GLaDOS
The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
Listens:
513
Who:
Core 3
Undelete, undelete! Where's the undelete button?
Listens:
1944
Who:
Wheatley
Well, no matter. Because I'm STILL holding all the cards, and guess what: they're allll Full Houses! I've never played cards. Meaning to learn.
Listens:
1592
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on now. I might not have thought this next part COMPLETELY through.
Listens:
216
Who:
Wheatley
To maintain a constant testing cycle, I simulate daylight at all hours and add adrenal vapor to your oxygen supply. So you may be confused about the passage of time. The point is, yesterday was your birthday. I thought you'd want to know.
Listens:
2684
Who:
GLaDOS
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
724
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hello!
Listens:
1662
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, what's going on over there? You know, I'm actually over here, still thinking really hard!
Listens:
236
Who:
Wheatley
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
3529
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
227
Who:
GLaDOS
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
522
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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