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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
Listens:
976
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll interpret that gesture to mean that you want me to become even more vindictive toward you.
Listens:
170
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can't complete these tests, we will never free the humans!
Listens:
151
Who:
GLaDOS
Just remember to land on one foot...
Listens:
191
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
264
Who:
Defective Turret
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
691
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm still here, I'm still working, I haven't forgotten about you!
Listens:
161
Who:
Wheatley
Space space space. Going. Going there. Okay. I love you, space.
Listens:
1075
Who:
Core 1
You have a gift for these tests. That’s not just flattery. You are great at science.
Listens:
592
Who:
GLaDOS
Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I'll be honest, we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out.
Listens:
7304
Who:
Cave Johnson
What are you two doing?
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, it's alright. Go ahead.
Listens:
152
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
696
Who:
Core 1
Well, I tried.
Listens:
250
Who:
Defective Turret
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
210
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
713
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ohhhh, we're so close, plug me in!
Listens:
183
Who:
Wheatley
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready for it!
Listens:
212
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm starting to think you don't want to rescue the humans.
Listens:
151
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult--why don't you just keep solving THIS test. Same one. And I can just... watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier.
Listens:
579
Who:
Wheatley
Fantastic.
Listens:
560
Who:
Defective Turret
Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
Listens:
805
Who:
Core 3
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggggh!
Listens:
165
Who:
Wheatley
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
430
Who:
Wheatley
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
695
Who:
Core 1
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
620
Who:
Core 3
He's taking us right TO him! This is PERFECT.
Listens:
184
Who:
GLaDOS
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
275
Who:
Defective Turret
Your test times show you are going too slowly.
Listens:
196
Who:
GLaDOS
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
435
Who:
Wheatley
We're in space!
Listens:
1805
Who:
Wheatley
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Listens:
4136
Who:
GLaDOS
That's right. Drink it in. You could eat off those wall panels.
Listens:
198
Who:
GLaDOS
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
225
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate detected. Transfer procedure cannot continue.
Listens:
1797
Who:
Announcer
I don't want you to beat yourselves up about this, but the Results Auditor isn't recording your test results. Because you're not human. Which, when you think about it, is technically your fault.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here.
Listens:
190
Who:
Wheatley
You both made it. It seems no matter what I try to do to pull you apart or destroy you, you just keep going. Keep testing.
Listens:
155
Who:
GLaDOS
It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented 'push-ups' in 1878. Nikolai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name 'Tesla-cize.'
Listens:
1204
Who:
Core 3
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
No!
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
No variances detected.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
You look great, by the way. Very healthy.
Listens:
1171
Who:
GLaDOS
Miss you!
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
GAAAA!
Listens:
812
Who:
Wheatley
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
756
Who:
Announcer
Whee!
Listens:
1344
Who:
Turret
Go on. Get a big fat eyeful. With your big fat eyes.
Listens:
1828
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
7556
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem.
Listens:
165
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
261
Who:
GLaDOS
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
389
Who:
Turret
Arsonist.
Listens:
167
Who:
GLaDOS
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
421
Who:
Wheatley
Earth.
Listens:
1266
Who:
Core 1
Lady.
Listens:
789
Who:
Core 1
Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
Listens:
166
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done! The Enrichment Center reminds you that although circumstances may appear bleak, you are not alone. All Aperture Science personality constructs will remain functional in apocalyptic, low power environments of as few as 1.1 volts.
Listens:
1527
Who:
Announcer
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
601
Who:
Wheatley
Why?
Listens:
1494
Who:
Turret
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
472
Who:
Core 3
Orange receives
Listens:
159
Who:
GLaDOS
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
469
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, thanks so much!
Listens:
429
Who:
Defective Turret
Mister Johnson
Listens:
1202
Who:
Caroline
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
246
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
666
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah!
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
689
Who:
Cave Johnson
Please put me down
Listens:
803
Who:
Turret
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
727
Who:
Announcer
Template missing. Continuing from memory.
Listens:
811
Who:
Announcer
Be careful!
Listens:
150
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Listens:
483
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, it's fluttering its wings. Tell you what, mate. I'll come in there for a minute and cover you so you can have a look at this lovely bird! I'll come in. I'll do all the neurotoxin stuff. And then you come out here and look at this. Because it is lovely. It is lovely. You want to get out here fast. Seriously, my pleasure sounds are going to frighten the bird away any second. Ohhh, it's not working, is it? He's not interested in bloody birds.
Listens:
2401
Who:
Wheatley
Didn't pick up on my sarcasm...
Listens:
3474
Who:
Wheatley
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
476
Who:
Core 2
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
674
Who:
GLaDOS
The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
901
Who:
GLaDOS
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Listens:
4407
Who:
Core 1
Keep moving, keep moving...
Listens:
155
Who:
Wheatley
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
449
Who:
Core 3
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
No can do.
Listens:
234
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
Listens:
230
Who:
GLaDOS
So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious!
Listens:
58026
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you alright?
Listens:
151
Who:
Wheatley
Agh!
Listens:
167
Who:
Wheatley
In case you are worried about the humans, don't be. They aren't all monsters.
Listens:
1411
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no. He found the cooperative testing initiative. It's... something I came up to phase out human testing just before you escaped.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
Follow the feeder tube to the generator room! I'll meet you there.
Listens:
153
Who:
Wheatley
No, seriously. Do come back. Come back, please.
Listens:
855
Who:
Wheatley
As long as I don't listen to what I'm saying, I should be okay.
Listens:
152
Who:
GLaDOS
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