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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Was that course too difficult?
Listens:
153
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck.
Listens:
152
Who:
GLaDOS
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hello angel. I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. Name's Rick. So, you out having yourself a little adventure?
Listens:
3128
Who:
Core 2
You really do have brain damage, don't you?
Listens:
1419
Who:
GLaDOS
Um. 'TRUE'. I'll go 'true'.
Listens:
15819
Who:
Wheatley
Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.
Listens:
1452
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.
Listens:
2922
Who:
Announcer
We're back!
Listens:
1392
Who:
Defective Turret
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
231
Who:
GLaDOS
You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
Listens:
4145
Who:
Announcer
You know who ended up, do you know who ended up taking her down in the end? You're not going to believe this. A human.
Listens:
190
Who:
Wheatley
Marie Curie invented the theory of radioactivity, the treatment of radioactivity, and dying of radioactivity.
Listens:
1709
Who:
Core 3
Agggh! I'm on fire!
Listens:
5025
Who:
Defective Turret
You might want to notice the moat area... rather large. Not to mention deadly. [laughs]
Listens:
232
Who:
Wheatley
Wow.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Core transfer?
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Turrets!
Listens:
200
Who:
Wheatley
Did something break back there?
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
Space!
Listens:
1162
Who:
Core 1
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
411
Who:
Turret
Hey, where are we goingNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Listens:
2590
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
271
Who:
Defective Turret
So I just wanted to give you the chance to kill yourself now. Before you get to the lair. Just, you know, jump into the masher there. Less a death trap and more a death option for you.
Listens:
417
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, go on, just pull that turret out.
Listens:
152
Who:
Wheatley
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
14123
Who:
Core 2
Searching
Listens:
575
Who:
Turret
We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control.
Listens:
2918
Who:
Announcer
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then.
Listens:
166
Who:
Wheatley
It burns.
Listens:
1896
Who:
Turret
Unlike us, humans need to be taught teamwork.
Listens:
155
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, let me get that for you.
Listens:
160
Who:
GLaDOS
No, listen to me! Sir, I do not want this!
Listens:
14146
Who:
Caroline
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
522
Who:
Turret
Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
Listens:
834
Who:
Core 3
[sound of pages turning] Oh, sorry. Hope that didn't disturb you just then. It was the sound of books. Pages being turned.
Listens:
1021
Who:
Wheatley
This place is huge.
Listens:
219
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Ha ha ha!
Listens:
226
Who:
Defective Turret
Cheater.
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
I think I can break us out of here in the next chamber. Just play along.
Listens:
153
Who:
GLaDOS
Run, for goodness sake!
Listens:
205
Who:
Wheatley
Um.
Listens:
262
Who:
Defective Turret
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! I've just had one idea, which is that I could pretend to her that I've captured you, and give you over and she'll kill you, but I could... go on living. What's your view on that?
Listens:
1377
Who:
Wheatley
It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem.
Listens:
165
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhh...
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
1349
Who:
Wheatley
It'll be fine. Get in.
Listens:
161
Who:
Wheatley
You've probably figured it out by now, but I don't need you anymore.
Listens:
165
Who:
Wheatley
Fears intimacy.
Listens:
156
Who:
GLaDOS
Nobody is going to space, mate!
Listens:
16855
Who:
Wheatley
Orange what did you do?
Listens:
152
Who:
GLaDOS
Hostile to new ideas.
Listens:
153
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what I have too many of around here? Monitors. I was just thinking earlier today I wish I had fewer monitors that were working. So you're actually helping me by smashing them.
Listens:
1515
Who:
Wheatley
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
755
Who:
Cave Johnson
Let's go in!
Listens:
152
Who:
Wheatley
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
607
Who:
Core 3
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
You already did this one. It'll be easy.
Listens:
170
Who:
GLaDOS
Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
Listens:
976
Who:
GLaDOS
If you were wondering how could you annoy me without failing a test. Now you know.
Listens:
152
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate detected.
Listens:
2787
Who:
Announcer
The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.
Listens:
7477
Who:
Core 3
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
224
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel.
Listens:
1672
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1174
Who:
Core 1
Hello! This is the part where I kill you.
Listens:
91233
Who:
Wheatley
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
675
Who:
Cave Johnson
[Laughter]
Listens:
3911
Who:
GLaDOS
RUN! Come on! I'm closing the doors!
Listens:
190
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent work.
Listens:
188
Who:
GLaDOS
It's my big chance!
Listens:
693
Who:
Defective Turret
This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three. Two. One. [SMOOTH JAZZ]
Listens:
68557
Who:
Announcer
Today, you will be testing with a partner.
Listens:
169
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
602
Who:
Defective Turret
You're on your own.
Listens:
153
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
851
Who:
Defective Turret
Problems with authority.
Listens:
174
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, look, we're really close to busting out, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
151
Who:
Wheatley
Lactose intolerant.
Listens:
173
Who:
GLaDOS
Nooooooooo...
Listens:
1027
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open this door? Because it's fairly urgent.
Listens:
230
Who:
Wheatley
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
2661
Who:
Turret
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Pop a little portal, just there, alright? Behind me. And come on through.
Listens:
151
Who:
Wheatley
[Whispered] For the record: You ARE adopted, and that's TERRIBLE.
Listens:
2654
Who:
GLaDOS
Insecure.
Listens:
167
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, I wouldn't have trusted Orange in that course either.
Listens:
164
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
720
Who:
Turret
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
377
Who:
Core 3
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
520
Who:
Core 3
00:00 / 00:00
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