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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
459
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, it's not nice to make fun of Blue like that.
Listens:
171
Who:
GLaDOS
Here she comes! Just play along! RememberFifteenChambers!
Listens:
175
Who:
Wheatley
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Still nothing, let's keep moving.
Listens:
183
Who:
Wheatley
Helloooooooooooo!
Listens:
1496
Who:
Wheatley
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
502
Who:
Core 3
To celebrate, I have a surprise for you!
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
See that?
Listens:
173
Who:
Wheatley
Seeks out conflicts with co-workers.
Listens:
167
Who:
GLaDOS
You messed with the wrong turret!
Listens:
15066
Who:
Defective Turret
Charmless.
Listens:
173
Who:
GLaDOS
For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors.
Listens:
1089
Who:
Cave Johnson
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
500
Who:
Wheatley
The one you risked your life to get to. So you could escape certain death. No rush.
Listens:
161
Who:
Wheatley
Say one useful thing. One. I dare you. I will give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely applicable to anything at all.
Listens:
1176
Who:
Core 2
GAH!
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
If we start making a list of things that aren't here, we could be here all night. You know, pens for instance. Let's stick with things we can see. Not stuff that isn't here.
Listens:
230
Who:
Wheatley
Oh boy.
Listens:
785
Who:
Core 1
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
159
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Ungh!
Listens:
167
Who:
Wheatley
HA! I knew someone was alive in here.
Listens:
201
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
298
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
198
Who:
Wheatley
I'm--do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead.
Listens:
215
Who:
Wheatley
Excuse me?
Listens:
573
Who:
Turret
I'm in space.
Listens:
1840
Who:
Core 1
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
168
Who:
Wheatley
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
162
Who:
Wheatley
Listen to me. We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking. Like regular people. And this is no joke - we are in deep trouble.
Listens:
627
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, great! Here comes another core!
Listens:
168
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you? Please?
Listens:
603
Who:
Defective Turret
Stop with the waves.
Listens:
209
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you doing that just to aggravate me?
Listens:
162
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
300
Who:
Defective Turret
Awful attendance record.
Listens:
202
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on.
Listens:
176
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
315
Who:
Defective Turret
Riggght now.
Listens:
170
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! There you are. Great. Let me just get rid of this catwalk.
Listens:
233
Who:
Wheatley
She's bringing the whole place down! Hurry!
Listens:
168
Who:
Wheatley
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space.
Listens:
2180
Who:
Core 1
We are?
Listens:
451
Who:
Core 1
Hey lady.
Listens:
732
Who:
Core 1
Turret redemption lines active.
Listens:
1092
Who:
Announcer
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
680
Who:
Defective Turret
I did everything you asked!
Listens:
2311
Who:
Turret
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Sir, the testing?
Listens:
1785
Who:
Caroline
In case you were wondering, you do not need to be crushed to solve this test.
Listens:
174
Who:
GLaDOS
Only three more chambers until your big surprise! [maniacal laughter] Ohhh, that's tiring.
Listens:
1514
Who:
Wheatley
Not a problem. I'll make an exit.
Listens:
206
Who:
Wheatley
During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice.
Listens:
1180
Who:
Core 3
I am sure it happened by accident, but why don't you put it back in the player?
Listens:
159
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Nonononononono!
Listens:
60952
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
That's right. Drink it in. You could eat off those wall panels.
Listens:
211
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on come on come on!
Listens:
159
Who:
Wheatley
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
407
Who:
Core 3
You know what? Just get in the lift. We'll iron out the details as we go.
Listens:
164
Who:
Wheatley
That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?
Listens:
849
Who:
Cave Johnson
[yelling]
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
Don't listen to her! It IS true that you don't have the qualifications. But you've got something more important than that. A finger, with which to press that button, so that she won't kill us.
Listens:
1136
Who:
Wheatley
Like the potato!
Listens:
162414
Who:
Defective Turret
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
I saw it. It was an accident.
Listens:
586
Who:
Turret
Look, even if you think we're still enemies, we're enemies with a common interest: Revenge.
Listens:
612
Who:
GLaDOS
You're okay! Great! Come on!
Listens:
208
Who:
Wheatley
And that's why I can't help you solve these tests.
Listens:
236
Who:
GLaDOS
That said, I would really appreciate it if you could test as fast as possible. Caroline, please bring me more pain pills.
Listens:
1175
Who:
Cave Johnson
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
199
Who:
Wheatley
Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin. Something I failed to notice before, an intangible quality that makes their test results... significant.
Listens:
1478
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing that test. But something seems off.
Listens:
165
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
219
Who:
Wheatley
Are you still there? Can you pick me up, do you think? If you are there?
Listens:
2031
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem.
Listens:
170
Who:
Wheatley
Look!
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
No A.I. can resist thinking about them.
Listens:
213
Who:
GLaDOS
Has irritating opinions.
Listens:
171
Who:
GLaDOS
Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
253
Who:
GLaDOS
Why did I just-Who is that? What the HELL is going on he----?
Listens:
1068
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1356
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry, we're closed
Listens:
1388
Who:
Turret
I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
Listens:
652
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey
Listens:
615
Who:
Turret
What are you...
Listens:
173
Who:
Wheatley
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
553
Who:
Core 3
Hey hey! You made it!
Listens:
176
Who:
Wheatley
We made it we made it we made it. Space!
Listens:
2654
Who:
Core 1
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
Get to HER! I'll find you!
Listens:
175
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
9425
Who:
Turret
Blah.
Listens:
880
Who:
GLaDOS
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
399
Who:
Core 3
00:00 / 00:00
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