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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?
Listens:
1230
Who:
GLaDOS
And we would have talked our way out of it. Oh! Except you forgot to tell me you'd murdered her. And that she needed you to live, so the only available vent for her rage would be good old crushable Wheatley. Yeah. Little details I remember. Easy little tidbits you could have used to save me from getting crushed if you'd cared, which you didn't, obviously. And still don't.
Listens:
3369
Who:
Wheatley
Get dirty with this robot! This robot owes you money! This robot owes! You! Money!
Listens:
1325
Who:
Core 2
Yes, alright, okay. This is getting tiresome. I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do. I know I have. You've proven you can break screens. Proven. Factual. Well done. Good. Aren't you little miss clever. Little miss smashy-smash.
Listens:
1401
Who:
Wheatley
Come on! Over here! This way!
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, a countdown clock! Man, that is trouble. Situation's looking pretty ugly. For such a beautiful woman. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
1352
Who:
Core 2
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine nine nine... nine nine ni- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate [FADES OUT]
Listens:
28563
Who:
Announcer
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
639
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, why did you do that to Orange?
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Aristotle versus Mashy-spike-plate!
Listens:
28491
Who:
Wheatley
Press it! Press the button!
Listens:
1406
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh! Don't leave me behind! Do pick me up, if you would...
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
If you're interested in an additional sixty dollars, flag down a test associate and let 'em know. You could walk out of here with a hundred and twenty weighing down your bindle if you let us take you apart, put some science stuff in you, then put you back together good as new.
Listens:
1608
Who:
Cave Johnson
Yeah. Clickety click click. Right on the money.
Listens:
3304
Who:
Defective Turret
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
I'm starting to think you don't want to rescue the humans.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
If you need to go to the bathroom after this next series of tests, please let a test associate know, because in all likelihood, whatever comes out of you is going to be coal. Only temporary, so do not worry. If it persists for a week, though, start worrying and come see us, because that's not supposed to happen.
Listens:
2590
Who:
Cave Johnson
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
1275
Who:
Defective Turret
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
477
Who:
Defective Turret
It's eating me.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
562
Who:
Wheatley
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait. Just thought of something? How am I going to get in? You know, being bloody massive and everything.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Pants were invented by sailors in the sixteenth century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god.
Listens:
2228
Who:
Core 3
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
920
Who:
GLaDOS
That's where YOU come in.
Listens:
941
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
1061
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
New template accepted.
Listens:
1423
Who:
Announcer
It's... It's moving up.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
1201
Who:
GLaDOS
No, listen to me! Sir, I do not want this!
Listens:
18821
Who:
Caroline
Do either of you feel like laughing?
Listens:
1297
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, that transpired just as you said it would.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Um. You've got a yacht. And... Boys! Loads of fellas. Hunky guys down there. Possibly even a boyfriend! Who's to say at this stage. But, a lot of good looking fellas down there. And, ah, a boy band as well! That haven't seen a woman in years. And they're not picky at all. They don't care if you've got a bit of brain damage. If you've been running around sweating. And... A farm! A pony farm! And... Just jump down, would ya?
Listens:
191815
Who:
Wheatley
Good. Now please return to your bed.
Listens:
1658
Who:
Announcer
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
1115
Who:
Announcer
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Back again!
Listens:
985
Who:
Defective Turret
Irritable.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Pshh. Really? And do what, exactly?
Listens:
627
Who:
Wheatley
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
815
Who:
Core 2
And that's why I can't help you solve these tests.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
1043
Who:
Announcer
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
626
Who:
Wheatley
Oh there goes another one. They're not Inexpensive. I'd just like to point that out. It seems unfair to smash screens. You could give them to people. Instead of smashing them, unscrew them and give them to a homeless person. I don't know what a homeless person would do with one. But you get my point. And you can't unscrew them, they're bolted in. But - just stop it!
Listens:
1359
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
You will know it when you find it.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't need to do that.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't make eye contact whatever you do...
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Aggggh!
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
Pick me up. Let's get out of here.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks!
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?
Listens:
1299
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
9844
Who:
Wheatley
He's taking us right TO him! This is PERFECT.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
3420
Who:
Defective Turret
Warning: Core corruption at 100 percent.
Listens:
6689
Who:
Announcer
Your ping tool is invaluable for communicating specific locations to your partner.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
924
Who:
Wheatley
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
519
Who:
Core 2
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
442
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1416
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes indeed. Yes indeed.
Listens:
2247
Who:
Defective Turret
While it may appear that I am only tracking your accomplishments using science collaboration points, the truth is every aspect of your performance will be reflected in your final score.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
456
Who:
GLaDOS
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
626
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is just PERFECT!
Listens:
1373
Who:
Defective Turret
Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult--why don't you just keep solving THIS test. Same one. And I can just... watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier.
Listens:
863
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
519
Who:
Defective Turret
Thank you - I can't believe I'm thanking these people - for staggering your way through Aperture Science's propulsion gel testing. You've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that, humanity is grateful.
Listens:
1492
Who:
Cave Johnson
Unlike us, humans need to be taught teamwork.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Still not working.
Listens:
747
Who:
Defective Turret
Caroline deleted.
Listens:
22249
Who:
Announcer
I’m afraid of heights!
Listens:
1283
Who:
Turret
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
512
Who:
Core 2
We made it we made it we made it we made it...
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
452
Who:
Defective Turret
I don't understand!
Listens:
5716
Who:
Turret
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
1020
Who:
Core 1
Yeah yeah yeah okay okay.
Listens:
4004
Who:
Core 1
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
636
Who:
GLaDOS
It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
520
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
414
Who:
Defective Turret
BLUE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted Core: are you ready to start?
Listens:
2755
Who:
Announcer
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
503
Who:
Wheatley
Sir, the test.
Listens:
1419
Who:
Caroline
Are we in space yet? What's the hold-up? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE.
Listens:
1555
Who:
Core 1
You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest.
Listens:
1628
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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