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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
767
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
893
Who:
GLaDOS
[clap clap clap]
Listens:
125147
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!
Listens:
236
Who:
Wheatley
The scientists were always hanging cores on me to regulate my behavior. I've heard voices all my life. But now I hear the voice of a conscience, and it's terrifying, because for the first time it's my voice.
Listens:
1430
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to escape, we're going to have to go through HER chamber.
Listens:
237
Who:
Wheatley
Did my hint help? It did, didn't it? You know, if any of our supervisors had been immune to neurotoxin, they'd be FURIOUS with us right now.
Listens:
1423
Who:
GLaDOS
Without the looming consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
1246
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
735
Who:
Core 1
I'm pretty sure we're going the right way. Just to reassure you...
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
725
Who:
Core 3
Ooagh!
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
But I need to protect the humans!
Listens:
3867
Who:
Turret
Illegal operation
Listens:
935
Who:
Turret
We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me. I tested you. You killed me. I--oh, no, wait. I guess I HAVEN'T killed you yet. Well. Food for thought.
Listens:
3049
Who:
GLaDOS
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on through.
Listens:
230
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
966
Who:
GLaDOS
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
6255
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhhhhh. 'FALSE'. I'll go 'false'.
Listens:
4832
Who:
Wheatley
Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job. You've applied the grip. We're all fine. That's tremendous.
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh!
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
246
Who:
Wheatley
There's a thousand tests performed every day here in our enrichment spheres. I can't personally oversee every one of them, so these pre-recorded messages'll cover any questions you might have, and respond to any incidents that may occur in the course of your science adventure.
Listens:
1083
Who:
Cave Johnson
Uh oh.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
860
Who:
Defective Turret
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
703
Who:
GLaDOS
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
484
Who:
GLaDOS
At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse.
Listens:
1324
Who:
GLaDOS
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
910
Who:
Core 1
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
Reactions?
Listens:
520
Who:
GLaDOS
Malfunctioning
Listens:
1124
Who:
Turret
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
741
Who:
GLaDOS
Not done yet. You've still got to get through the door. Need to get through the door there.
Listens:
230
Who:
Wheatley
Sir, the testing?
Listens:
2125
Who:
Caroline
Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
Listens:
1089
Who:
Core 3
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
16447
Who:
Core 2
Yeah!
Listens:
5010
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! It's going faster, which I was... not expecting.
Listens:
242
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.
Listens:
2387
Who:
Core 3
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST job, tending to all the smelly humans.
Listens:
628
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
1043
Who:
Core 1
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Come on! Over here! This way!
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
741
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days.
Listens:
784
Who:
Core 3
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* PRESS THE BUTTON.
Listens:
30776
Who:
Wheatley
Awful attendance record.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
Follow the feeder tube to the generator room! I'll meet you there.
Listens:
231
Who:
Wheatley
The humans can't free themselves.
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
871
Who:
GLaDOS
One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
16921
Who:
GLaDOS
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
981
Who:
Announcer
Could you just jump into that pit? There. That deadly pit.
Listens:
1668
Who:
Wheatley
Here's an interesting fact: you're not breathing real air. It's too expensive to pump this far down. We just take carbon dioxide out of a room, freshen it up a little, and pump it back in. So you'll be breathing the same room full of air for the rest of your life. I thought that was interesting.
Listens:
4285
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody is going to have to repair it. No, it's okay, I'll do that too. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
Template missing. Continuing from memory.
Listens:
1070
Who:
Announcer
Do NOT plug that little idiot into MY mainframe.
Listens:
1622
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry I'm absolutely guaranteeing you 100 percent that it's this way... Oh it's not this way.
Listens:
572
Who:
Wheatley
Allright, what have we got?
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
439
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
711
Who:
GLaDOS
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
411
Who:
Defective Turret
Until now.
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
398
Who:
Defective Turret
In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this.
Listens:
1897
Who:
Core 3
Moves lips while reading.
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
Think about this.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not defective!
Listens:
2030
Who:
Defective Turret
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
440
Who:
Defective Turret
This is not good.
Listens:
1834
Who:
Turret
It's happening sooner than I expected.
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
561
Who:
Wheatley
Huh. That was easy.
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
848
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
If you're going to hit each other, at least aim for the head.
Listens:
229
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, we just need you to release the humans from their imprisonment.
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
830
Who:
GLaDOS
Vent system compromised: Neurotoxin offline.
Listens:
3473
Who:
Announcer
I AM NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
6742
Who:
Wheatley
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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