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Portal 2
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Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
815
Who:
Core 3
Did you notice I didn't even stay to the end of your last test?
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
1130
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
Listens:
6512
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh!
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Listens:
153382
Who:
Cave Johnson
Simple word. 'Apple'.
Listens:
627
Who:
Wheatley
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
669
Who:
Defective Turret
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
Look - metal ball, I CAN hear you.
Listens:
1810
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
I am not sure you will need him but he will be there.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
1103
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
538
Who:
Defective Turret
You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life.
Listens:
86890
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
1107
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
1010
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Non-lethal as ever.
Listens:
898
Who:
Defective Turret
Interpreting vague answer as YES.
Listens:
26042
Who:
Announcer
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
804
Who:
Core 3
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
It won't.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
478
Who:
Defective Turret
Did you guess 'sharks'? Because that's wrong. The correct answer is 'nobody.' Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.
Listens:
4211
Who:
GLaDOS
Atmosphere. Black holes. Astronauts. Nebulas. Jupiter. The Big Dipper.
Listens:
2767
Who:
Core 1
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
856
Who:
Defective Turret
Hm. Let's try this way.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm. Space!
Listens:
2479
Who:
Core 1
Ohhhh, we're so close, plug me in!
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Follow the feeder tube to the generator room! I'll meet you there.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
521
Who:
Defective Turret
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Anddddd...THERE we go.
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their existences to exacting revenge.
Listens:
1340
Who:
GLaDOS
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
556
Who:
Wheatley
What a horrible little machine.
Listens:
611
Who:
GLaDOS
Pants were invented by sailors in the sixteenth century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god.
Listens:
2228
Who:
Core 3
This is not good.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
452
Who:
Wheatley
Corrupted Core: are you ready to start?
Listens:
2755
Who:
Announcer
We are now going to take a break from the collaboration for an instructional competition.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
1063
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
I'm kidding.
Listens:
903
Who:
GLaDOS
Careful... Careful...
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Oh my god. What has he done to this place?
Listens:
1589
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, I wouldn't have trusted Orange in that course either.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Paradoxes.
Listens:
934
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
13956
Who:
Turret
GET IN!
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
It's not, though.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
Was that course too difficult?
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
714
Who:
Core 3
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
5404
Who:
GLaDOS
Didn't pick up on my sarcasm...
Listens:
4880
Who:
Wheatley
For instance, Orange, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
Don't either you have drive to be better than the other?
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Carry on.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
562
Who:
Wheatley
Breathes with mouth open.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
631
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, look, the point is, we're gonna break out of here! Very soon, I promise, I promise!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
SURPRISE! We're doing it NOW!
Listens:
5910
Who:
Wheatley
Grab me grab me grab me! Grab meeee!
Listens:
3000
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station. Get ready...
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Still, it turns out they're a great portal conductor. So now we're gonna see if jumping in and out of these new portals can somehow leech the lunar poison out of a man's bloodstream. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. [coughs] Let's all stay positive and do some science.
Listens:
19305
Who:
Cave Johnson
Well, no matter. Because I'm STILL holding all the cards, and guess what: they're allll Full Houses! I've never played cards. Meaning to learn.
Listens:
2101
Who:
Wheatley
Come on. You were raised better than that.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh... can someone reassemble Blue?
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?
Listens:
1257
Who:
Wheatley
Did my hint help? It did, didn't it? You know, if any of our supervisors had been immune to neurotoxin, they'd be FURIOUS with us right now.
Listens:
1560
Who:
GLaDOS
No one has ever completed this test before. The humans must have reconfigured it from my original plans.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
867
Who:
Wheatley
Space!
Listens:
2899
Who:
Core 1
If Orange had said those things about me, Orange would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning! All testing courses are currently available.
Listens:
2160
Who:
Announcer
Hey! Squeaky-voice! How'd I do?
Listens:
940
Who:
Defective Turret
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
It flew off.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
1039
Who:
Wheatley
Hmm. This Plate must not be calibrated to someone of your... generous... ness. I'll add a few zeros to the maximum weight.
Listens:
54186
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
1124
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay. I guess emotional outbursts require more than one point six volts. Now we know that. We just need to relax. We're still going to find out what the hell's going on here. But calmly.
Listens:
1396
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, we just need you to release the humans from their imprisonment.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
Listens:
715
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
506
Who:
Wheatley
Really? Alright.
Listens:
391
Who:
Defective Turret
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
You have to get to the catwalk behind me!
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, it will. Believe me, it will.
Listens:
1786
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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