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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
406
Who:
Wheatley
Nicely Done!
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
Catwalks are safe during defective turret testing.
Listens:
530
Who:
Announcer
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing that test. But something seems off.
Listens:
146
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Please put me down
Listens:
781
Who:
Turret
Yeah, take the lemons...
Listens:
29698
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on!
Listens:
152
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
278
Who:
Defective Turret
Space. Space.
Listens:
1175
Who:
Core 1
Yes indeed. Yes indeed.
Listens:
1539
Who:
Defective Turret
If you are wondering what that smell is, that is the smell of human fear.
Listens:
152
Who:
GLaDOS
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
If you need to go to the bathroom after this next series of tests, please let a test associate know, because in all likelihood, whatever comes out of you is going to be coal. Only temporary, so do not worry. If it persists for a week, though, start worrying and come see us, because that's not supposed to happen.
Listens:
1964
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hey, give 'em hell, sweetheart!
Listens:
565
Who:
Defective Turret
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
150
Who:
Wheatley
Butterfingers.
Listens:
2804
Who:
Wheatley
Do you know where I was?
Listens:
144
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.
Listens:
1803
Who:
Cave Johnson
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, great! Here comes another core!
Listens:
148
Who:
GLaDOS
But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to get my attention? I am very busy, you know.
Listens:
153
Who:
GLaDOS
Space!
Listens:
1112
Who:
Core 1
There it is.
Listens:
236
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, it hasn't done it.
Listens:
157
Who:
Wheatley
If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you.
Listens:
2409
Who:
Announcer
It's interesting. You won't regret it. I promise.
Listens:
160
Who:
Wheatley
That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think too hard, I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little idiot is going- [bzzpt]
Listens:
2513
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
227
Who:
Defective Turret
[sigh] Don't tell anyone about this.
Listens:
870
Who:
Defective Turret
Did my hint help? It did, didn't it? You know, if any of our supervisors had been immune to neurotoxin, they'd be FURIOUS with us right now.
Listens:
1138
Who:
GLaDOS
Now it's broken turret's time to shine!
Listens:
2470
Who:
Defective Turret
And that's why I can't help you solve these tests.
Listens:
214
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, let me explain again. Pop a portal. Behind me. Alright? And come on through.
Listens:
147
Who:
Wheatley
Undermines others.
Listens:
185
Who:
GLaDOS
No thanks! We're good! Appreciate it!
Listens:
203
Who:
Wheatley
Surprise.
Listens:
4319
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
557
Who:
Turret
This test is so outside the box, I can't-- I mean WON'T even tell you what you are looking for.
Listens:
183
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you go first.
Listens:
160
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't. See. A. Thing.
Listens:
899
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
384
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay...
Listens:
174
Who:
Wheatley
That's why humans couldn't complete these courses, they treat their friends as enemies.
Listens:
155
Who:
GLaDOS
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
263
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
Annnnnnnnd... Nothing.
Listens:
2232
Who:
Wheatley
Lacks empathy.
Listens:
151
Who:
GLaDOS
We're not safe yet. Quick! Follow the walkway.
Listens:
149
Who:
Wheatley
Since, I never expected you to make it this far, I have to build this new course just for you.
Listens:
146
Who:
GLaDOS
Nooooo. No, I don't think it is. I think you're wrong.
Listens:
1515
Who:
Wheatley
Old.
Listens:
149
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll interpret that gesture to mean that you want me to become even more vindictive toward you.
Listens:
168
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.
Listens:
18865
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
516
Who:
Wheatley
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
148
Who:
GLaDOS
That's funny, I don't feel corrupt. In fact, I feel pretty good.
Listens:
1014
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
Listens:
429
Who:
Core 2
clickclickclick
Listens:
431
Who:
Defective Turret
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
427
Who:
Core 1
You had to play bloody cat and mouse, didn't you? While people were trying to work. Yes, well, now we're all going to pay the price. BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BLOODY DIE.
Listens:
1546
Who:
Wheatley
And she will probably kill us if, um, she's awake.
Listens:
229
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
2010
Who:
Defective Turret
Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt--
Listens:
6402
Who:
Cave Johnson
Blue receives
Listens:
172
Who:
GLaDOS
I am!
Listens:
884
Who:
Caroline
I see you
Listens:
1917
Who:
Turret
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
255
Who:
GLaDOS
Press it!
Listens:
182
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
240
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
7441
Who:
Turret
Federal Superfund regulations require us to inform you that you must now leave the theater, as measuring the effects of asbestos-lined promotional clothing is not part of today's presentation. Enjoy your free t-shirt. Goodbye.
Listens:
3717
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go of me!
Listens:
229
Who:
Wheatley
I didn't mean to make you feel bad earlier about your tests not being real science. I guess finding out they weren't science was some sort of test in and of itself.
Listens:
148
Who:
GLaDOS
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
237
Who:
GLaDOS
Say, you're good at murder. Could you - ow - murder this bird for me?
Listens:
3250
Who:
GLaDOS
Never completes work.
Listens:
165
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me
Listens:
1378
Who:
Turret
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
248
Who:
GLaDOS
I think we're in trouble.
Listens:
191
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
345
Who:
Defective Turret
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
1238
Who:
Core 1
You win.
Listens:
828
Who:
GLaDOS
William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.
Listens:
2310
Who:
Core 3
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
230
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Still not working.
Listens:
407
Who:
Defective Turret
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
234
Who:
GLaDOS
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
2407
Who:
Caroline
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
277
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm sure we'll be fine.
Listens:
162
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
503
Who:
Defective Turret
Hooray!
Listens:
3202
Who:
Turret
I AM NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
5357
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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