Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
This course was originally designed to build confidence in humans.
Listens:
175
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye!
Listens:
2392
Who:
Turret
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
333
Who:
Core 2
This is a bad plan. You will fail.
Listens:
1476
Who:
Core 3
Can't breathe...
Listens:
600
Who:
Turret
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
What about that camera?
Listens:
181
Who:
GLaDOS
BLUE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
217
Who:
GLaDOS
Not bad. I forgot how good you are at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have A LOT of tests to do.
Listens:
2118
Who:
GLaDOS
Facial grimacing.
Listens:
187
Who:
GLaDOS
Your eagerness to test pleases me. Your inane gesturing does not.
Listens:
177
Who:
GLaDOS
Crap.
Listens:
1778
Who:
Defective Turret
Frequent bouts of uncontrollable rage.
Listens:
193
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
[Laughter]
Listens:
4318
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh. What?
Listens:
577
Who:
Wheatley
Illegal operation
Listens:
721
Who:
Turret
DO press it.
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotcha!
Listens:
1620
Who:
Turret
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
717
Who:
Core 3
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
667
Who:
GLaDOS
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
724
Who:
Cave Johnson
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
You only failed
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Never flushes.
Listens:
183
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, orange isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Blue is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
Listens:
177
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't blame you
Listens:
19648
Who:
Turret
Steals lunch from staff fridge.
Listens:
183
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh there goes another one. They're not Inexpensive. I'd just like to point that out. It seems unfair to smash screens. You could give them to people. Instead of smashing them, unscrew them and give them to a homeless person. I don't know what a homeless person would do with one. But you get my point. And you can't unscrew them, they're bolted in. But - just stop it!
Listens:
1064
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
610
Who:
Wheatley
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
412
Who:
Core 3
Unknown error
Listens:
1193
Who:
Turret
All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans can't free themselves.
Listens:
174
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue
Listens:
1396
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.
Listens:
1505
Who:
GLaDOS
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us.
Listens:
1368
Who:
Cave Johnson
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, you know what? That's close enough. Just hold tight.
Listens:
1369
Who:
Wheatley
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1014
Who:
Core 1
Don't make eye contact whatever you do...
Listens:
230
Who:
Wheatley
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
513
Who:
Wheatley
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Didn't go for that, I see. Knew I was lying. Point to you. But you still are inhaling neurotoxin. So, point deducted.
Listens:
225
Who:
Wheatley
Even I was created with a imperfection, I was given too much empathy with human suffering.
Listens:
227
Who:
GLaDOS
Please refrain from doing those childish gestures while you are out there.
Listens:
175
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
773
Who:
Core 1
This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.
Listens:
3097
Who:
Announcer
Defective Turret testing active.
Listens:
622
Who:
Announcer
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
We have to get you out of that room!
Listens:
179
Who:
Wheatley
Stalemate Resolved.
Listens:
1323
Who:
Announcer
I am!
Listens:
2318
Who:
Caroline
There should be one in the corner.
Listens:
183
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fine!
Listens:
851
Who:
Turret
Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the Laws of Robotics. To share.
Listens:
2290
Who:
Announcer
Crushing's too good for him. First he'll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two: Cryogenic refrigeration wing. Then TEN years in the chamber I built where all the robots scream at you. THEN I'll kill him.
Listens:
3531
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey! You made it!
Listens:
182
Who:
Wheatley
While I will receive all the glory for the rescue don't think you two aren't going to get something. The bond you form during these tests will last a lifetime.
Listens:
179
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
And we would have talked our way out of it. Oh! Except you forgot to tell me you'd murdered her. And that she needed you to live, so the only available vent for her rage would be good old crushable Wheatley. Yeah. Little details I remember. Easy little tidbits you could have used to save me from getting crushed if you'd cared, which you didn't, obviously. And still don't.
Listens:
2657
Who:
Wheatley
You're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.
Listens:
20249
Who:
GLaDOS
An extra special bonus course that ends with us finding and freeing humans!
Listens:
177
Who:
GLaDOS
Run, for goodness sake!
Listens:
240
Who:
Wheatley
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
247
Who:
Wheatley
Look at you. Dancing.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
520
Who:
Wheatley
You're not going to believe this. I found a sealed off wing. Hundreds - HUNDREDS! - of perfectly good test chambers. Just sitting there. Filled with skeletons. Shook them out. Good as new!
Listens:
1206
Who:
Wheatley
Antisocial.
Listens:
185
Who:
GLaDOS
Hibernating
Listens:
590
Who:
Turret
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
487
Who:
Wheatley
I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know. He's not your slave.
Listens:
197
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
280
Who:
Defective Turret
That's where YOU come in.
Listens:
646
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry
Listens:
2169
Who:
Turret
There's another wall over here!
Listens:
186
Who:
Wheatley
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
You asked for this!
Listens:
253
Who:
Defective Turret
Really? You’re just going to blatantly cheat?
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
[gentle laughter] It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
5509
Who:
GLaDOS
[Whispered] For the record: You ARE adopted, and that's TERRIBLE.
Listens:
2851
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Squeaky-voice! Gimme some of your bullets!
Listens:
1737
Who:
Defective Turret
AHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
1083
Who:
Turret
Calibrating Blue's weight...
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Since, I never expected you to make it this far, I have to build this new course just for you.
Listens:
174
Who:
GLaDOS
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
675
Who:
Wheatley
Cheater.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
872
Who:
Cave Johnson
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
