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Portal 2
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These things happen.
Listens:
2622
Who:
Turret
Let's try this again. Try to make your way across the machinery.
Listens:
159
Who:
Wheatley
Whee!
Listens:
1413
Who:
Turret
[humming]
Listens:
1336
Who:
Core 1
Blue do what Orange just did.
Listens:
163
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. Although great science is always the result of collaboration, keep in mind that, like Albert Einstein and his cousin Terry, history will only remember one of you.
Listens:
1233
Who:
GLaDOS
Marie Curie invented the theory of radioactivity, the treatment of radioactivity, and dying of radioactivity.
Listens:
1740
Who:
Core 3
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
GO.
Listens:
657
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
Blue! Orange has always been my favorite.
Listens:
440
Who:
GLaDOS
This lock requires humans.
Listens:
216
Who:
GLaDOS
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
623
Who:
Defective Turret
Perhaps I should have specified. Teamwork is a concept in which two or more people work together, usually with a goal of not failing horribly.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
4708
Who:
Turret
Congratulations on completing the test. You two really are the best cooperative testing team I could ever ask for.
Listens:
165
Who:
GLaDOS
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
300
Who:
Defective Turret
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
385
Who:
Wheatley
Warning: Core overheating. Nuclear meltdown imminent.
Listens:
11545
Who:
Announcer
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
Otherwise, I'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the Being Alive club. Ha ha.
Listens:
2450
Who:
GLaDOS
The way you two just gave up on that test together shows you are really working as a team.
Listens:
162
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi?
Listens:
561
Who:
Turret
Can you hear that? She has really kicked this place into high gear now.
Listens:
167
Who:
Wheatley
In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this.
Listens:
1622
Who:
Core 3
Well done!
Listens:
386
Who:
Turret
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
So he's inexplicably happy all of a sudden, even though he should be going out of his mind with test withdrawal. AND he's got a surprise for us. What did he FIND back there?
Listens:
455
Who:
GLaDOS
To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle.
Listens:
846
Who:
Announcer
Help me, space cops. Space cops, help.
Listens:
3131
Who:
Core 1
Warmer. Warrrrmer. Boiling hot. Boiling--okay, colder. Ice cold. Arctic. Very very very cold LOOK JUST GET ON THE BUTTON!
Listens:
460
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
751
Who:
Turret
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
237
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on now. I might not have thought this next part COMPLETELY through.
Listens:
207
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know we originally used these cameras to capture moments of intense pain and agony in test subjects?
Listens:
196
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're dying, but not dead, stomp once. If you're dead, obviously no stomps. And two stomps if you're not dead. Lemme just run through that again: If you're dying but not dead stomp just once. If you're dead, obviously you won't be stomping. And if you're not dead, give me two stomps.
Listens:
934
Who:
Wheatley
The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three. Two. One.
Listens:
1454
Who:
Announcer
Not bad. I forgot how good you are at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have A LOT of tests to do.
Listens:
2077
Who:
GLaDOS
Facial grimacing.
Listens:
173
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
198
Who:
GLaDOS
We have to split up here for a moment. Portal up to that passage and I'll see you on the other side.
Listens:
162
Who:
Wheatley
I think he's getting desperate.
Listens:
174
Who:
GLaDOS
The likelihood of you dying within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1161
Who:
Core 3
Hi there!
Listens:
1463
Who:
Defective Turret
Because this message is prerecorded, the Enrichment Center has no way of knowing if whatever government remains offers any sort of Cattle Tuberculosis Testing Credit for taxes.
Listens:
601
Who:
GLaDOS
No no wait wait waitAGGGHHHH
Listens:
1470
Who:
Defective Turret
Back again!
Listens:
683
Who:
Defective Turret
Come on, let's go!
Listens:
171
Who:
Wheatley
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
596
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, your plan is working perfectly.
Listens:
196
Who:
GLaDOS
four
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh. Alright? I don't know whether you're picking up on what I'm saying there, but...
Listens:
210
Who:
Wheatley
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
234
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on in there?
Listens:
170
Who:
Wheatley
Nap time
Listens:
2376
Who:
Turret
I'll interpret that gesture to mean that you want me to become even more vindictive toward you.
Listens:
185
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel.
Listens:
1717
Who:
Cave Johnson
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
636
Who:
Wheatley
Stop with the waves.
Listens:
209
Who:
GLaDOS
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
521
Who:
Core 3
No!
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
And to your right, something huge hurtling towards you OH GOD RUN! THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.
Listens:
1969
Who:
Wheatley
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
Press the button again.
Listens:
718
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Can y--no?
Listens:
1016
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, we just need you to release the humans from their imprisonment.
Listens:
164
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye
Listens:
6150
Who:
Turret
The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.
Listens:
2064
Who:
Core 3
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
159
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on completing that test. But something seems off.
Listens:
165
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know. He's not your slave.
Listens:
180
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, alright, okay. This is getting tiresome. I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do. I know I have. You've proven you can break screens. Proven. Factual. Well done. Good. Aren't you little miss clever. Little miss smashy-smash.
Listens:
1076
Who:
Wheatley
And she will probably kill us if, um, she's awake.
Listens:
245
Who:
Wheatley
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
519
Who:
Defective Turret
Commence standing by in three. Two. One.
Listens:
198
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep moving! Just keep moving!
Listens:
161
Who:
Wheatley
My fault
Listens:
921
Who:
Turret
We're in space!
Listens:
1871
Who:
Wheatley
Well, hello, stranger!
Listens:
2671
Who:
Defective Turret
Good luck!
Listens:
216
Who:
Wheatley
Here it is - the turret factory entrance! We made it.
Listens:
162
Who:
Wheatley
Test chamber completed. In the interest of science, the Enrichment Center proudly presents the following list of numbers: Nine. Seven. Fifty. Three. Seven hundred and seven.
Listens:
949
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
232
Who:
Wheatley
Just as mementos, though...
Listens:
170
Who:
GLaDOS
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
238
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no, not that way!
Listens:
171
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
298
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't make eye contact whatever you do...
Listens:
221
Who:
Wheatley
No, seriously. Do come back. Come back, please.
Listens:
882
Who:
Wheatley
Powerup complete.
Listens:
2390
Who:
Announcer
If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.
Listens:
1323
Who:
Announcer
At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
Listens:
4807
Who:
Core 3
Undermines others.
Listens:
210
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
251
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
159
Who:
GLaDOS
That's horrible.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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