Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
220
Who:
Wheatley
Annnnnnnnd... Nothing.
Listens:
2232
Who:
Wheatley
In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this.
Listens:
1571
Who:
Core 3
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
540
Who:
Defective Turret
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
259
Who:
Wheatley
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
229
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
164
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't understand!
Listens:
4161
Who:
Turret
Did you notice I didn't even stay to the end of your last test?
Listens:
144
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
754
Who:
GLaDOS
Moves lips while reading.
Listens:
158
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then.
Listens:
158
Who:
Wheatley
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
587
Who:
Defective Turret
Back again? Maybe you can just stay and live here.
Listens:
147
Who:
GLaDOS
Look how small you are down there! I can barely see you! Very tiny and insignificant!
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space.
Listens:
6469
Who:
GLaDOS
Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.
Listens:
429
Who:
Core 3
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
592
Who:
Core 2
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Problems with authority.
Listens:
170
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
235
Who:
Wheatley
This is the last test for the standard course. It's just something I whipped up for you. I thought you might enjoy a challenge for once.
Listens:
147
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want this!
Listens:
14797
Who:
Caroline
Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
Listens:
13966
Who:
Core 1
Excellent! You're a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them?
Listens:
2406
Who:
GLaDOS
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
324
Who:
Core 2
You might want to notice the moat area... rather large. Not to mention deadly. [laughs]
Listens:
228
Who:
Wheatley
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
2644
Who:
Wheatley
Two
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Space!
Listens:
2044
Who:
Core 1
GET YOUR HANDES OFF ME! NO! STOP! No!
Listens:
2950
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent.
Listens:
155
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning: Core corruption at 100 percent.
Listens:
4330
Who:
Announcer
Sorry I missed the beginning of that test. I was just talking with the reassembly machine about your becoming human.
Listens:
193
Who:
GLaDOS
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
2223
Who:
Turret
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
754
Who:
Core 1
I think he's getting desperate.
Listens:
149
Who:
GLaDOS
Warmer. Warrrrmer. Boiling hot. Boiling--okay, colder. Ice cold. Arctic. Very very very cold LOOK JUST GET ON THE BUTTON!
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
Excuse me?
Listens:
462
Who:
Turret
Wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth. Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
1317
Who:
Core 1
This test is so outside the box, I can't-- I mean WON'T even tell you what you are looking for.
Listens:
183
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m flyinnnng!
Listens:
1494
Who:
Turret
[Whispered] For the record: You ARE adopted, and that's TERRIBLE.
Listens:
2585
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
270
Who:
Defective Turret
Goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
14863
Who:
GLaDOS
Finish it...
Listens:
215
Who:
Wheatley
Follow the feeder tube to the generator room! I'll meet you there.
Listens:
147
Who:
Wheatley
5000 point penalty! Are you happy now?
Listens:
1082
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
No, no, I'm sure it's this way. I'm definitely sure it's this way.
Listens:
153
Who:
Wheatley
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
198
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, is there something you would like to say?
Listens:
146
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
No. No. That was the solution. Rrrg! What am I missing?
Listens:
149
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, it's not nice to make fun of Orange like that.
Listens:
146
Who:
GLaDOS
Earth.
Listens:
1187
Who:
Core 1
I know things look bleak, but that crazy man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons! We are going to march right back upstairs and MAKE him put me back in my body!
Listens:
3389
Who:
GLaDOS
Error. Error. Error. File not found.
Listens:
914
Who:
Core 3
Get in the lift.
Listens:
152
Who:
Wheatley
Aw. Just thinking back to the old days when we were friends. Good old friends. Not enemies. And I'd say something like 'come back', and you'd be like 'no problem!' And you'd come back. What happened to those days?
Listens:
1349
Who:
Wheatley
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
736
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know we originally used these cameras to capture moments of intense pain and agony in test subjects?
Listens:
180
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
1455
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
232
Who:
Wheatley
Noted.
Listens:
380
Who:
Turret
[clap clap clap]
Listens:
107883
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
On three. Ready? One... Two...
Listens:
207
Who:
Wheatley
I thought of some good news. He's going to run out of test chambers eventually. I never stockpiled them.
Listens:
164
Who:
GLaDOS
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
Listens:
147
Who:
GLaDOS
Enjoy this next test. I'm going to go to the surface. It's a beautiful day out. Yesterday I saw a deer. If you solve this next test, maybe I'll let you ride an elevator all the way up to the break room, and I'll tell you about the time I saw a deer again.
Listens:
3114
Who:
GLaDOS
Participates unconstructively. Obviously a time-waster.
Listens:
176
Who:
GLaDOS
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
221
Who:
Wheatley
Nevermind. I have to go... check something. Test on your own recognizance. I'll be back.
Listens:
232
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, in the end, yes, they let me go. It's all politics, to be honest. It's a big popularity contest, it's all about who you know, and whose back you're willing to scratch, who doesn't touch -- or, in my case, who did accidentally touch -- the neurotoxin button.
Listens:
1080
Who:
Wheatley
I am not sure how I can make these tests any easier for you.
Listens:
146
Who:
GLaDOS
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
378
Who:
Core 3
Okay. Plan B. We need humans.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
248
Who:
GLaDOS
To do that, the tests were nothing more than 5 minutes of them walking followed by me praising them for another 10 minutes on how well they walked.
Listens:
184
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey! You made it!
Listens:
162
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
227
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't hold on! Come on!
Listens:
154
Who:
Wheatley
There it is.
Listens:
236
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans accidentally forgot to put a security DVD in the player.
Listens:
162
Who:
GLaDOS
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
720
Who:
GLaDOS
That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid.'
Listens:
1827
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey lady.
Listens:
788
Who:
Core 1
Now it's broken turret's time to shine!
Listens:
2470
Who:
Defective Turret
So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious!
Listens:
57513
Who:
GLaDOS
Annnnd we're back!
Listens:
555
Who:
Defective Turret
There are 5000 other two subject teams in direct competition with you.
Listens:
179
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
236
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
