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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
669
Who:
Defective Turret
I wouldn't have warned you about this before, back when we hated each other. But those turrets are firing real bullets. So look out. I'd hate for something tragic to happen to you before I extract all your bone marrow.
Listens:
1456
Who:
GLaDOS
DANCING is NOT SCIENCE!
Listens:
46522
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
531
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey lady.
Listens:
1510
Who:
Core 1
Enough! I told you not to put these cores on me. But you don't listen, do you? Quiet. All the time. Quietly not listening to a word I say. Judging me. Silently. The worst kind.
Listens:
1390
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station. Get ready...
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, stop muckin' around! Plug me in!
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Space? SPACE!
Listens:
24156
Who:
Core 1
Oh I'll tell you what's also down there. Your parents and... There's also an escape elevator!. Down there. Funny. I should have mentioned it before. But so it's down there. So pop down. Jump down. You've got your folks down there and an escape elevator
Listens:
1103
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
853
Who:
Core 1
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
7407
Who:
Wheatley
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
You're in this together, aren't you? You've been playing me the whole time! Both of you! First you make me think you're brain damaged! Then you convince me you're sworn enemies with your best friend over here!
Listens:
886
Who:
Wheatley
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
508
Who:
Defective Turret
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
665
Who:
GLaDOS
Say, you're good at murder. Could you - ow - murder this bird for me?
Listens:
4401
Who:
GLaDOS
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
1006
Who:
Cave Johnson
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
I thought you'd be faster at this, but I can appreciate the desire to stop and smell the testing. That other scent you smell? That's the stench of my utter disappointment in you.
Listens:
1653
Who:
GLaDOS
If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you.
Listens:
3485
Who:
Announcer
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Squeaky-voice! How'd I do?
Listens:
940
Who:
Defective Turret
Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?
Listens:
1230
Who:
GLaDOS
Test chamber completed. In the interest of science, the Enrichment Center proudly presents the following list of numbers: Nine. Seven. Fifty. Three. Seven hundred and seven.
Listens:
1376
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space.
Listens:
2738
Who:
Core 1
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
800
Who:
Defective Turret
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
618
Who:
GLaDOS
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
34972
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh. Alright? I don't know whether you're picking up on what I'm saying there, but...
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
729
Who:
GLaDOS
GET YOUR HANDES OFF ME! NO! STOP! No!
Listens:
4728
Who:
GLaDOS
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
What'd I hit?
Listens:
399
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
578
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange
Listens:
718
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you hear that? She has really kicked this place into high gear now.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
600
Who:
Core 2
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
605
Who:
Core 2
This body is amazing, seriously!
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
781
Who:
Core 2
Anything? Take your time.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
583
Who:
Defective Turret
Narcissist.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop touching each other!
Listens:
657
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
587
Who:
Wheatley
three
Listens:
683
Who:
GLaDOS
Atmosphere. Black holes. Astronauts. Nebulas. Jupiter. The Big Dipper.
Listens:
2767
Who:
Core 1
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. [laughs]
Listens:
4333
Who:
GLaDOS
Sometimes testing has to occur outside the confines of the lab.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
If I'd known you'd let yourself get captured this easily, I would have just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling.
Listens:
1968
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.
Listens:
4156
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh oh oh oh. Wait wait. Wait I know. I know. I know wait. Space.
Listens:
1346
Who:
Core 1
Look, I don't like this any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who got partially eaten by a bird.
Listens:
947
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on through.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Cryptic.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
576
Who:
Wheatley
Ooh. It's dark down here isn't it?
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Even if I am lying, what do you have to lose? You're going to die either way.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
517
Who:
GLaDOS
The most poisonous fish in the world is the orange ruffy. Everything but its eyes are made of a deadly poison. The ruffy's eyes are composed of a less harmful, deadly poison.
Listens:
2425
Who:
Core 3
Ok... Here we go...
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle.
Listens:
1346
Who:
Announcer
Alright, off you go!
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
If your confidence is still not high enough remember no one was created perfect.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Fears intimacy.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Never completes work.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Hurt me once, shame on me. Hurt me twice...
Listens:
2055
Who:
Defective Turret
The humans can't free themselves.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes sir!
Listens:
3955
Who:
Caroline
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!
Listens:
1193
Who:
Wheatley
Goodbye Caroline!
Listens:
25801
Who:
Caroline
Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
Listens:
1122
Who:
Core 3
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
1020
Who:
Core 1
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
1057
Who:
GLaDOS
I consider that a failing, by the way.
Listens:
721
Who:
GLaDOS
Only three more chambers until your big surprise! [maniacal laughter] Ohhh, that's tiring.
Listens:
2164
Who:
Wheatley
I can’t keep quiet about this. I think Orange is actively trying to sabotage your success. Let’s keep this between us.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava.
Listens:
6581
Who:
Core 3
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
775
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, is there something you would like to say?
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
29222
Who:
Turret
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, this is taking too long. I'll just tell you how to solve the test.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
519
Who:
Core 2
Hey hey! You made it!
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Her name is Caroline.
Listens:
4325
Who:
Turret
Defective Turret testing active.
Listens:
968
Who:
Announcer
This is not good.
Listens:
2145
Who:
Turret
Most of them are simply good test subjects.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
The average human male is about sixty percent water. Far as we're concerned, that's a little extravagant. So if you feel a bit dehydrated in this next test, that's normal. We're gonna hit you with some jet engines, and see if we can't get you down to twenty or thirty percent.
Listens:
2047
Who:
Cave Johnson
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
708
Who:
Wheatley
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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