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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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I love space. Love space.
Listens:
930
Who:
Core 1
Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!
Listens:
33586
Who:
Core 1
Always sleeping.
Listens:
467
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Though it does give me an idea: WHAT if we stand here and let the gentle hum of the laser transport us to a state of absolute relaxation. Might help us think of a way to open the door.
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
632
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, did you bring your little portal gun? Nothing to portal onto here, luv. Just ten pounds of dead weight. About to be two hundred and ten. Fatty.
Listens:
6312
Who:
Wheatley
It flew off.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
406
Who:
Wheatley
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves the Aperture Science Aerial Faith Plate. It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative: They could not. Good luck!
Listens:
2094
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful!
Listens:
252
Who:
Wheatley
Your ping tool is invaluable for communicating specific locations to your partner.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient in toothpaste continued to be used up until the 18th century.
Listens:
757
Who:
Core 3
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
535
Who:
Wheatley
Is that camera is hooked into the lock?
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
639
Who:
Core 3
What's happening? Um. Hmm... Ok.
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
OW! You stabbed me! What is WRONG with yo-WhoOOAAahhh. Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. The gun must be part magnesium... It feels like I'm outputting an extra half a volt. Keep an eye on me: I'm going to do some scheming. Here I g-[BZZZ!]
Listens:
14321
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you...
Listens:
854
Who:
Turret
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST possible job: tending to all the smelly humans. The umm... Sorry about that. That just slipped out.
Listens:
1019
Who:
Wheatley
Feeds off the misery of others.
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
It says this next test was designed by one of Aperture's Nobel prize winners. It doesn't say what the prize was for. Well, I know it wasn't for Being Immune To Neurotoxin.
Listens:
1098
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's another core! This one should do it!
Listens:
230
Who:
GLaDOS
[beep] Sarcasm Self Test complete. [beep]
Listens:
299646
Who:
Announcer
A, A, A, A, A, A. [NNNT!] No. A, A, A, A, A, B. [NNNT!] Hold on, I've done both of these. Skip ahead. A, B, C... D, G, H.[DING!]
Listens:
164278
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor. [BUZZER]
Listens:
1707
Who:
Announcer
Oh... It's you.
Listens:
40534
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
608
Who:
Core 2
You know what, this plan is so good, I'm going to give you a sporting chance and turn off the neurotoxin. I'm joking. Of course. Goodbye.
Listens:
1364
Who:
Wheatley
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
804
Who:
Wheatley
I have a surprise waiting for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint: It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time.
Listens:
767
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! What can we do with me then. I know! Plug me into the port, please.
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
And that's why I can't help you solve these tests.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily, by the looks of things he knows as much about test building as he does about logical contradictions.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
What is this, like a hobby for you now? I mean, honestly, it's crazy! You've been running around for hours, I'm surprised you have the energy to smash screens willy nilly. Honestly, I'd have a little lie down if I were you. Have a nap.
Listens:
617
Who:
Wheatley
That's horrible.
Listens:
628
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
880
Who:
Wheatley
I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
682
Who:
Defective Turret
[Whispered] For the record: You ARE adopted, and that's TERRIBLE.
Listens:
3441
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahungh.
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
Okay! No, don't worry! Don't worry! I've got it I've got it I've got it! THIS should slow it down!
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
It would compromise the test to divulge individual scores. However, I can tell you at least one of you is doing very, very well.
Listens:
261
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh. You're stranded. Let's see if the cube will try to help you escape. Actually, so that we're not here all day, I'll just cut to the chase: It won't. Any feelings you think it has for you are simply byproducts of your sad, empty life.
Listens:
1437
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
232
Who:
GLaDOS
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Listens:
5611
Who:
GLaDOS
Run, for goodness sake!
Listens:
330
Who:
Wheatley
I am sure it happened by accident, but why don't you put it back in the player?
Listens:
230
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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