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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway. Just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli. Do not know what all the fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one?
Listens:
595
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
292
Who:
Defective Turret
Manipulative.
Listens:
163
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
719
Who:
Core 1
She did all the work.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
AHH!
Listens:
740
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
550
Who:
GLaDOS
Since making test participation mandatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatically. Employee retention, however, has not.
Listens:
2242
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh. Hi.
Listens:
1637
Who:
GLaDOS
We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: it's a lively one, and it does NOT like the human skeleton.
Listens:
1858
Who:
Cave Johnson
The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day.
Listens:
2535
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ah, I see. Clever. Verrrrrrry clever.
Listens:
1988
Who:
Wheatley
I HAVE to test. All the time. Or I get this... this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something.
Listens:
963
Who:
Wheatley
Your eagerness to test pleases me. Your inane gesturing does not.
Listens:
158
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a bit of a brain wave. There I was, smashing some steel plates together, and I thought, 'yes, it's deadly. But what's missing? What's missing?' And I thought lots of sharp bits welded onto the flat bits.
Listens:
1503
Who:
Wheatley
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
484
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Canvassing
Listens:
363
Who:
Turret
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
279
Who:
Defective Turret
To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle.
Listens:
831
Who:
Announcer
This is the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center or SinTech.
Listens:
412
Who:
GLaDOS
So twisty you might even call it spinning. MOO HOO HA HA HA Ignore the laughter. Nothing to worry about.
Listens:
964
Who:
Wheatley
It's my big chance!
Listens:
705
Who:
Defective Turret
Thanks!
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.
Listens:
34532
Who:
Turret
NO!
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, to be clear. I was just asking Blue if he trusted you.
Listens:
197
Who:
GLaDOS
Look down. Where am I? Where am I?
Listens:
157
Who:
Wheatley
The answer is beneath us.
Listens:
1392
Who:
Turret
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
627
Who:
Core 3
In just a moment, the word 'blah' will be repeated over and over again. If at some point you hear a number rather than the word 'blah', ignore it, it is not important.
Listens:
1213
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
Blue
Listens:
1344
Who:
GLaDOS
You asked for this!
Listens:
220
Who:
Defective Turret
So whatever you're doing, keep doing it!
Listens:
169
Who:
Wheatley
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
843
Who:
Wheatley
Please get it off me.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Initiating surprise in three... two... one.
Listens:
2627
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on! This is a bit tricky!
Listens:
187
Who:
Wheatley
Where'd you go?
Listens:
213
Who:
Wheatley
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
234
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh... Mr. Johnson...
Listens:
21574
Who:
Caroline
Excellent. I think you have earned a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
248
Who:
GLaDOS
Ummmm. Yeah, I can't do it if you're watching.
Listens:
185
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
714
Who:
GLaDOS
For your test.
Listens:
167
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me in, we're running out of time.
Listens:
238
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Do hear that? That's the sound of the neurotoxin emitters emitting neurotoxin.
Listens:
1063
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press that button. You don't know what you're doing.
Listens:
1220
Who:
GLaDOS
Now than, let's see what we got here. Ah! 'Reactor Core Emergency Heat Venting Protocols.' That's the problem right there, isn't it? 'Emergency'. You don't want to see 'emergency' flashing at you. Never good that, is it? Right. DELETE.
Listens:
1009
Who:
Wheatley
No, that's right. Over by the podium, yeah.
Listens:
157
Who:
Wheatley
Excuse me
Listens:
1443
Who:
Turret
Ah, come on!
Listens:
296
Who:
Defective Turret
Huh. That was easy.
Listens:
180
Who:
Wheatley
Paradoxes.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
463
Who:
Core 3
Just stop it already.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
It won't.
Listens:
158
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
733
Who:
Wheatley
It emphasizes teamwork.
Listens:
164
Who:
GLaDOS
The good news is... well, none so far, to be honest. I'll get back to you on that.
Listens:
215
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
840
Who:
Wheatley
Here, come and have a look out the window. It's good.
Listens:
159
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
In 1948, at the request of a dying boy, baseball legend Babe Ruth ate seventy-five hot dogs, then died of hot dog poisoning.
Listens:
1189
Who:
Core 3
What is this, like a hobby for you now? I mean, honestly, it's crazy! You've been running around for hours, I'm surprised you have the energy to smash screens willy nilly. Honestly, I'd have a little lie down if I were you. Have a nap.
Listens:
496
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
3100
Who:
Turret
[laugh]
Listens:
27288
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh, did you bring your little portal gun? Nothing to portal onto here, luv. Just ten pounds of dead weight. About to be two hundred and ten. Fatty.
Listens:
5457
Who:
Wheatley
Always sad.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, great! Here comes another core!
Listens:
163
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you alright?
Listens:
156
Who:
Wheatley
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
You're better than that.
Listens:
214
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes Mr. Johnson
Listens:
971
Who:
Caroline
SHUT UP!
Listens:
10261
Who:
Wheatley
Warning: Core corruption at 75 percent.
Listens:
3407
Who:
Announcer
[to self] Hm. Could be Spanish, could be Spanish. [loud again] Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta! Donde esta--no. Um...
Listens:
1803
Who:
Wheatley
Go on.
Listens:
170
Who:
Wheatley
I swear I know him...
Listens:
210
Who:
GLaDOS
This course was originally designed to build confidence in humans.
Listens:
157
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and that's what you do?
Listens:
157
Who:
GLaDOS
I hardly think you're even trying with these gestures anymore.
Listens:
171
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before, though. Sort of cheating.
Listens:
238
Who:
Wheatley
Hey hey hey!
Listens:
1351
Who:
Turret
Quick question: Have you been working out? Because there's no evidence of it. I'm not a plastic cup. We will be landing with some force. So a bit of grip. Just using grip. Classic grip.
Listens:
203
Who:
Wheatley
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you are worried about the humans, don't be. They aren't all monsters.
Listens:
1426
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
five
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
412
Who:
Core 1
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
372
Who:
Core 2
00:00 / 00:00
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