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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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One of my best tests and they let plants grow here? Can you believe this? You can't test plants! We tried. They just sit there, never showing pain nor fear.
Listens:
1314
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST job, tending to all the smelly humans.
Listens:
524
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
Listens:
943
Who:
Core 3
Okay, this way
Listens:
180
Who:
Wheatley
Um.
Listens:
309
Who:
Defective Turret
Substitute core accepted.
Listens:
863
Who:
Announcer
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Yes Orange, Blue did act like a fool just now.
Listens:
175
Who:
GLaDOS
At the start of this course I was worried you were becoming too close but in my attempt to drive you apart I learned something important about trust and betrayal.
Listens:
173
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
3832
Who:
GLaDOS
I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now. [phone ringing] The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up. [Dial tone]
Listens:
24266
Who:
GLaDOS
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
413
Who:
Wheatley
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
415
Who:
Core 2
Are you still there?
Listens:
46151
Who:
Turret
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
If you were wondering how could you annoy me without failing a test. Now you know.
Listens:
180
Who:
GLaDOS
Problems with authority.
Listens:
199
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah!
Listens:
1185
Who:
Core 1
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
617
Who:
GLaDOS
Chronically late.
Listens:
203
Who:
GLaDOS
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Can't breathe...
Listens:
600
Who:
Turret
You KNOW her?
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
587
Who:
Defective Turret
AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl-- ummm... good. Looking good, actually.
Listens:
5299
Who:
Wheatley
I HAVE to test. All the time. Or I get this... this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something.
Listens:
996
Who:
Wheatley
Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news.
Listens:
4057
Who:
Cave Johnson
Here's another core! This one should do it!
Listens:
177
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
207
Who:
Wheatley
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
677
Who:
Wheatley
I, uh... I am a bad man.
Listens:
610
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright, now. She can't use her turrets. So let's go and take care of that neurotoxin generator as well.
Listens:
184
Who:
Wheatley
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi there!
Listens:
1530
Who:
Defective Turret
Aggggh!
Listens:
204
Who:
Wheatley
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
Ohh. You're gonna laugh at this. You know how I said there was absolutely no way to get here without going through her lair and her potentially killing us? Could have gone through here. [laughs] My fault. Bit of luck for us that she wasn't switched on.
Listens:
1219
Who:
Wheatley
In order to escape, we're going to have to go through HER chamber.
Listens:
178
Who:
Wheatley
I just have to figure out how. To break us out of here.
Listens:
186
Who:
Wheatley
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
What do you think?
Listens:
1118
Who:
Wheatley
YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!
Listens:
7497
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't need to do that.
Listens:
198
Who:
GLaDOS
Egotistical.
Listens:
182
Who:
GLaDOS
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
724
Who:
Cave Johnson
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
439
Who:
Wheatley
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
768
Who:
Core 1
eight
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
387
Who:
Core 2
If Orange had said those things about me, Orange would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
175
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
260
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! The simple fact that you're standing here listening to me means you've made a glorious contribution to science.
Listens:
1194
Who:
Cave Johnson
It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem.
Listens:
184
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
486
Who:
Core 1
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
725
Who:
Cave Johnson
I am NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
11548
Who:
Wheatley
Thank you for completing the testing courses. If you enjoyed your experience, you may now re-enter the testing course of your choice.
Listens:
601
Who:
Announcer
Orange, it's not nice to make fun of Blue like that.
Listens:
183
Who:
GLaDOS
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
653
Who:
Core 3
To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror.
Listens:
911
Who:
Core 3
Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
Listens:
175
Who:
GLaDOS
I wouldn't have warned you about this before, back when we hated each other. But those turrets are firing real bullets. So look out. I'd hate for something tragic to happen to you before I extract all your bone marrow.
Listens:
1111
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m scared!
Listens:
474
Who:
Turret
Okay, fine. I'll ask you again in a few decades.
Listens:
185
Who:
GLaDOS
You asked for this!
Listens:
253
Who:
Defective Turret
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
233
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait. Just thought of something? How am I going to get in? You know, being bloody massive and everything.
Listens:
211
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
264
Who:
Wheatley
It's not, though.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
Going to space.
Listens:
775
Who:
Core 1
Stop it!
Listens:
3940
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
772
Who:
Core 2
Anxious.
Listens:
191
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
298
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Um. 'TRUE'. I'll go 'true'.
Listens:
16494
Who:
Wheatley
There's a thousand tests performed every day here in our enrichment spheres. I can't personally oversee every one of them, so these pre-recorded messages'll cover any questions you might have, and respond to any incidents that may occur in the course of your science adventure.
Listens:
924
Who:
Cave Johnson
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
We could get one of the crap turrets. We could put it in the scanner and see what happens.
Listens:
245
Who:
Wheatley
Owww!
Listens:
565
Who:
Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
4554
Who:
Defective Turret
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
4784
Who:
Core 1
Just stop it already.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2031
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
310
Who:
Defective Turret
That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
Listens:
175
Who:
GLaDOS
I made it all up.
Listens:
709
Who:
GLaDOS
No variances detected.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Martyr.
Listens:
200
Who:
GLaDOS
Could you turn around? Is that possible?
Listens:
177
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! I've just had one idea, which is that I could pretend to her that I've captured you, and give you over and she'll kill you, but I could... go on living. What's your view on that?
Listens:
1425
Who:
Wheatley
Yes? Something you need?
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
575
Who:
Core 3
I am a coiled spring right now. Tension and power. Just... I'm a muscle. Like a big arm muscle, punching through a brick wall, and it's hitting the wall so hard the arm is catching on fire. Oh yeah.
Listens:
3263
Who:
Core 2
Okay. What you're doing there is jumping. You just... you just jumped. But nevermind. Say 'Apple'. 'Aaaapple.'
Listens:
2936
Who:
Wheatley
It worked!
Listens:
190
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, we're closed
Listens:
1465
Who:
Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
339
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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