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Portal 2
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At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
318
Who:
Core 2
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop it already.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
315
Who:
Core 2
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Rgggh!
Listens:
312
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Run!
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
311
Who:
Defective Turret
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Ah, come on!
Listens:
310
Who:
Defective Turret
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
four
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
308
Who:
Defective Turret
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Do it!
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
307
Who:
Defective Turret
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
306
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
306
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
305
Who:
Core 2
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
305
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
305
Who:
Defective Turret
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
305
Who:
Defective Turret
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
304
Who:
Core 2
You're doing great!
Listens:
304
Who:
Core 2
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
304
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
304
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
304
Who:
Defective Turret
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
303
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes!
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Come back!
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
What are you two doing?
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
No variances detected.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
299
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
298
Who:
Core 2
She did all the work.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
298
Who:
Defective Turret
Thanks!
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
297
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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