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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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ow.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
309
Who:
Core 2
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
308
Who:
Core 2
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
308
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
307
Who:
Defective Turret
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Rgggh!
Listens:
306
Who:
Defective Turret
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
305
Who:
Defective Turret
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Ah, come on!
Listens:
303
Who:
Defective Turret
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Do it!
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Run!
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
301
Who:
Defective Turret
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
300
Who:
Core 2
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop it already.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
299
Who:
Defective Turret
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
298
Who:
Defective Turret
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
297
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes!
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
296
Who:
Defective Turret
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
295
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
295
Who:
Defective Turret
You're doing great!
Listens:
294
Who:
Core 2
four
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
293
Who:
Core 2
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang!
Listens:
293
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
293
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
291
Who:
Core 2
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
She did all the work.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
291
Who:
Defective Turret
No variances detected.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
290
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
289
Who:
Core 2
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you two doing?
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
289
Who:
Defective Turret
Thanks!
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
Come back!
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
287
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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