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Portal 2
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To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
348
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
347
Who:
Core 2
Cheater.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Rgggh!
Listens:
346
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
346
Who:
Defective Turret
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
344
Who:
Core 2
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
344
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
342
Who:
Core 2
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Just stop it already.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Do it!
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
338
Who:
Defective Turret
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
338
Who:
Defective Turret
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
337
Who:
Core 2
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
337
Who:
Defective Turret
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
336
Who:
Defective Turret
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
334
Who:
Defective Turret
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Ah, come on!
Listens:
332
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Run!
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
She did all the work.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
329
Who:
Core 2
Yes!
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
329
Who:
Defective Turret
Thanks!
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
No variances detected.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
326
Who:
Core 2
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
326
Who:
Defective Turret
You're doing great!
Listens:
325
Who:
Core 2
What are you two doing?
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
324
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
324
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
323
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
323
Who:
Defective Turret
Um.
Listens:
323
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
322
Who:
Defective Turret
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
321
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
320
Who:
Core 2
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
320
Who:
Defective Turret
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