Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
365
Who:
Defective Turret
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
363
Who:
Core 2
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop it already.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
358
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
356
Who:
Defective Turret
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
353
Who:
Core 2
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
353
Who:
Core 2
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
352
Who:
Core 2
No variances detected.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
351
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, come on!
Listens:
350
Who:
Defective Turret
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
350
Who:
Defective Turret
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
349
Who:
Core 2
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
She did all the work.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
348
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
347
Who:
Defective Turret
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
346
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
346
Who:
Defective Turret
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
What are you two doing?
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Do it!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks!
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
341
Who:
Defective Turret
You're doing great!
Listens:
340
Who:
Core 2
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Um.
Listens:
340
Who:
Defective Turret
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
339
Who:
Core 2
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
339
Who:
Core 2
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Run!
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
MOVE.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
335
Who:
Defective Turret
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
335
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
334
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
333
Who:
Core 2
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh...
Listens:
333
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
333
Who:
Defective Turret
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
333
Who:
Defective Turret
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
