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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
410
Who:
Wheatley
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
407
Who:
Core 2
Just stop it already.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, what?
Listens:
407
Who:
Defective Turret
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
402
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
397
Who:
Core 2
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
395
Who:
Core 2
She did all the work.
Listens:
395
Who:
GLaDOS
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
395
Who:
Defective Turret
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
No variances detected.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you two doing?
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
391
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
391
Who:
Defective Turret
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang!
Listens:
388
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah, come on!
Listens:
388
Who:
Defective Turret
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
387
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
386
Who:
Defective Turret
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
384
Who:
Defective Turret
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
382
Who:
Core 2
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
Do it!
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
382
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
382
Who:
Defective Turret
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
381
Who:
Core 2
Thanks!
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
MOVE.
Listens:
381
Who:
Wheatley
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Run!
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Um.
Listens:
378
Who:
Defective Turret
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh...
Listens:
376
Who:
Defective Turret
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
376
Who:
Defective Turret
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
374
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
374
Who:
Defective Turret
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Come back!
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
372
Who:
Defective Turret
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
371
Who:
Core 2
You're doing great!
Listens:
371
Who:
Core 2
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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