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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
290
Who:
Core 2
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Do it!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Alarmist.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
286
Who:
Core 2
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
286
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
286
Who:
Defective Turret
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
285
Who:
Core 2
Good.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow.
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhh...
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
Rgggh!
Listens:
284
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
284
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, what?
Listens:
284
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
You're doing great!
Listens:
282
Who:
Core 2
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Run!
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
ow.
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
280
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah, come on!
Listens:
280
Who:
Defective Turret
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
280
Who:
Defective Turret
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
279
Who:
Defective Turret
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
279
Who:
Defective Turret
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
278
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
278
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
276
Who:
Core 2
She did all the work.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
275
Who:
Core 2
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
274
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
274
Who:
Defective Turret
four
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you two doing?
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
272
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
272
Who:
Defective Turret
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
271
Who:
Defective Turret
Come back!
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
Yes!
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
270
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
270
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
270
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
270
Who:
Defective Turret
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
270
Who:
Defective Turret
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
No variances detected.
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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