Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
NO!
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
Do it!
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
You're doing great!
Listens:
270
Who:
Core 2
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
270
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
267
Who:
Core 2
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
267
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
267
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
266
Who:
Core 2
Alarmist.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
266
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
266
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
266
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
266
Who:
Defective Turret
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
264
Who:
Core 2
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
five
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
This time...
Listens:
263
Who:
Defective Turret
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
261
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
260
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
259
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
257
Who:
Defective Turret
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
No variances detected.
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
255
Who:
GLaDOS
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
255
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
Run!
Listens:
255
Who:
Wheatley
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
255
Who:
Defective Turret
Good.
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
Ow.
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
254
Who:
Defective Turret
She did all the work.
Listens:
253
Who:
GLaDOS
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
253
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
253
Who:
Defective Turret
ow.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
252
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
252
Who:
Defective Turret
No!
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
251
Who:
Defective Turret
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
250
Who:
Wheatley
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
249
Who:
GLaDOS
Come back!
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
249
Who:
Defective Turret
four
Listens:
248
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
248
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
248
Who:
Defective Turret
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop it already.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks!
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
247
Who:
Wheatley
Rgggh!
Listens:
246
Who:
Defective Turret
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
245
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
245
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
