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Portal 2
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The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
386
Who:
Wheatley
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
385
Who:
Wheatley
Just stop it already.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
381
Who:
Core 2
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
378
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
378
Who:
Defective Turret
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
376
Who:
Defective Turret
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
375
Who:
Core 2
She did all the work.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
373
Who:
Core 2
What are you two doing?
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
373
Who:
Defective Turret
No variances detected.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
371
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
370
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah, come on!
Listens:
370
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
369
Who:
Defective Turret
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
367
Who:
Core 2
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
366
Who:
Core 2
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Um.
Listens:
366
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
MOVE.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
361
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
361
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh no...
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Do it!
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
360
Who:
Defective Turret
Thanks!
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh...
Listens:
359
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
358
Who:
Defective Turret
You're doing great!
Listens:
357
Who:
Core 2
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
356
Who:
Defective Turret
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
355
Who:
Defective Turret
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
353
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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