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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Rgggh!
Listens:
356
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
356
Who:
Defective Turret
Just stop it already.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
353
Who:
Defective Turret
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
348
Who:
Core 2
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
347
Who:
Core 2
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
346
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
344
Who:
Defective Turret
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
343
Who:
Core 2
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
343
Who:
Defective Turret
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
343
Who:
Defective Turret
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Do it!
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
341
Who:
Defective Turret
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
338
Who:
Core 2
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
No variances detected.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, come on!
Listens:
337
Who:
Defective Turret
AH!
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
335
Who:
Defective Turret
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
She did all the work.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
What are you two doing?
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Yes!
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Run!
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
333
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
333
Who:
Defective Turret
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
333
Who:
Defective Turret
Thanks!
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
330
Who:
Core 2
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
330
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
330
Who:
Defective Turret
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Um.
Listens:
329
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
328
Who:
Core 2
You're doing great!
Listens:
327
Who:
Core 2
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
326
Who:
Defective Turret
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
326
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
325
Who:
Core 2
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh...
Listens:
325
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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