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Portal 2
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Ow.
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
300
Who:
Core 2
ow.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
297
Who:
Core 2
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Rgggh!
Listens:
297
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, what?
Listens:
297
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
296
Who:
Defective Turret
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Do it!
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
295
Who:
Defective Turret
AH!
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Just stop it already.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
292
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
292
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
291
Who:
Core 2
Dang.
Listens:
291
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
291
Who:
Defective Turret
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
290
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Run!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
289
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
289
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah, come on!
Listens:
289
Who:
Defective Turret
four
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
288
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
286
Who:
Core 2
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
She did all the work.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
286
Who:
Defective Turret
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
286
Who:
Defective Turret
You're doing great!
Listens:
285
Who:
Core 2
What are you two doing?
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
No variances detected.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
284
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks!
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
281
Who:
Core 2
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
281
Who:
Core 2
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
281
Who:
Defective Turret
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
281
Who:
Defective Turret
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
280
Who:
Defective Turret
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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