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Portal 2
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I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
329
Who:
Core 2
Ahhh...
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
327
Who:
Core 2
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
327
Who:
Core 2
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Rgggh!
Listens:
325
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
four
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop it already.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
319
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Do it!
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
318
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
318
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah, come on!
Listens:
318
Who:
Defective Turret
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
318
Who:
Defective Turret
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
Run!
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
317
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
315
Who:
Defective Turret
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
314
Who:
Core 2
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
313
Who:
Defective Turret
No variances detected.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
312
Who:
Defective Turret
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
311
Who:
Defective Turret
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
311
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
310
Who:
Core 2
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
You're doing great!
Listens:
308
Who:
Core 2
What are you two doing?
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Yes!
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
307
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
306
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
305
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
305
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
305
Who:
Defective Turret
Thanks!
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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