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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're going to hit each other, at least aim for the head.
Listens:
226
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1142
Who:
Core 1
Alright, let's get started. This first test involves something the lab boys call 'repulsion gel.'
Listens:
1012
Who:
Cave Johnson
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
946
Who:
Core 3
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
461
Who:
Defective Turret
And another thing! You never caught me. I told you I could die falling off that rail. And you didn't catch me. You didn't even try. Oh, it's all becoming clear to me now. Find some dupe to break you out of cryosleep. Give him a sob story about escaping to the surface. Squeeze him for information on where to find a portal gun.
Listens:
3866
Who:
Wheatley
It's... It's moving up.
Listens:
226
Who:
Wheatley
Space!
Listens:
1507
Who:
Core 1
Please refrain from doing those childish gestures while you are out there.
Listens:
232
Who:
GLaDOS
Noted.
Listens:
636
Who:
Turret
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
508
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Didn't go for that, I see. Knew I was lying. Point to you. But you still are inhaling neurotoxin. So, point deducted.
Listens:
266
Who:
Wheatley
I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
Listens:
1059
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can't complete these tests, we will never free the humans!
Listens:
225
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
Lacks charisma.
Listens:
233
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
443
Who:
Defective Turret
You really don't need to keep failing.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding.
Listens:
722
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
460
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
Cryptic.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
890
Who:
Core 1
Fears conflict.
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
810
Who:
Turret
Hey, thanks so much!
Listens:
567
Who:
Defective Turret
You've still got to get through the door. Please. Need to get through that door there.
Listens:
225
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
849
Who:
Announcer
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
581
Who:
Wheatley
Owwww!
Listens:
795
Who:
Turret
Aw. Just thinking back to the old days when we were friends. Good old friends. Not enemies. And I'd say something like 'come back', and you'd be like 'no problem!' And you'd come back. What happened to those days?
Listens:
1615
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, we're really close to busting out. Just hang in there for - OW!
Listens:
229
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, what's going on over there? You know, I'm actually over here, still thinking really hard!
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
413
Who:
Wheatley
Tadah! Only the turret control center. Thank you very much.
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
It burns.
Listens:
2466
Who:
Turret
Didn't pick up on my sarcasm...
Listens:
4192
Who:
Wheatley
Okay! Keep your eye on the turret line, I'm gonna go and hack the door open.
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
Though it does give me an idea: WHAT if we stand here and let the gentle hum of the laser transport us to a state of absolute relaxation. Might help us think of a way to open the door.
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
912
Who:
Wheatley
Stay still, please.
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
I think after that display, we should take a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
225
Who:
GLaDOS
Chews with mouth open.
Listens:
243
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
I won't let you down!
Listens:
325
Who:
Defective Turret
Press the button again.
Listens:
900
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, why did you do that to Orange?
Listens:
227
Who:
GLaDOS
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
Test chamber completed. In the interest of - [FADES OUT] [FADES IN] I am now talking to you privately. Do not tell your teammate. Just between you and me? You're doing very well. [FADES BACK IN] One hundred and seven.
Listens:
1193
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
464
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
898
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you!
Listens:
4177
Who:
Turret
Nothing. Nothing.
Listens:
265
Who:
GLaDOS
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
742
Who:
Core 3
The best way to build confidence is to first recognize your insecurities.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just getting embarrassing.
Listens:
1513
Who:
Defective Turret
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
936
Who:
Core 3
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
570
Who:
Defective Turret
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
Takes long lunches.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
Listens:
1217
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Paradox time.
Listens:
1055
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, just open the door! [to self] That's too aggressive. [loud again] Hello, friend! Why not open the door?
Listens:
3523
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! You came back! Didn't actually plan... for that. Can't actually reset the death trap. So. Ah. Could you jump into that pit, there? Would you just jump into that pit for me?
Listens:
1096
Who:
Wheatley
You know what, this plan is so good, I'm going to give you a sporting chance and turn off the neurotoxin. I'm joking. Of course. Goodbye.
Listens:
1346
Who:
Wheatley
Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
803
Who:
Wheatley
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
455
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
966
Who:
Defective Turret
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
I did this! Tiny little Wheatley did this!
Listens:
1477
Who:
Wheatley
In summary: walk all the way to certain doom, or give up now. Honorably. Like a samurai! Save yourself a trip. It's win-win for you.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Get mad!
Listens:
30324
Who:
Turret
Look - metal ball, I CAN hear you.
Listens:
1258
Who:
GLaDOS
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
585
Who:
Core 3
While I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
Listens:
230
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue to be clear, I was asking if Orange trusted you.
Listens:
228
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
8737
Who:
Caroline
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
515
Who:
Core 2
For instance, Orange, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
Listens:
255
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, you are kidding me.
Listens:
5165
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, can't win 'em all.
Listens:
310
Who:
Defective Turret
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
682
Who:
Core 3
[Whispered] For the record: You ARE adopted, and that's TERRIBLE.
Listens:
3327
Who:
GLaDOS
Done! Hacked!
Listens:
514
Who:
Wheatley
Caroline deleted.
Listens:
18814
Who:
Announcer
Yeah, take the lemons...
Listens:
34778
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again. Sorry about exploding you. Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
2486
Who:
GLaDOS
Anddddd...THERE we go.
Listens:
242
Who:
Wheatley
It's alright! Everything's good. I just invented some more tests!
Listens:
235
Who:
Wheatley
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
791
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME.
Listens:
6759
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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