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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Always cold.
Listens:
147
Who:
GLaDOS
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
708
Who:
Core 3
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
Listens:
150
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
515
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m shocked you’d say that, Blue. If you killed your partner the test—I’m sorry. Wrong feed. Carry on, Orange. Good work.
Listens:
847
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, solve it!
Listens:
152
Who:
Wheatley
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
572
Who:
GLaDOS
You never considered that maybe I tested you to give the endless hours of your pointless existence some structure and meaning. Maybe to help you concentrate, so just maybe you’d think of something more worthwhile to do with your sorry life.
Listens:
1820
Who:
GLaDOS
SPACE!
Listens:
15201
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Helloooo?
Listens:
672
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
240
Who:
Wheatley
Well... I'll be here during the whole next test.
Listens:
140
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me in, and I'll take you up.
Listens:
142
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis.
Listens:
864
Who:
GLaDOS
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
396
Who:
Wheatley
In summary: walk all the way to certain doom, or give up now. Honorably. Like a samurai! Save yourself a trip. It's win-win for you.
Listens:
219
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
304
Who:
Core 2
It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
2699
Who:
GLaDOS
Why?
Listens:
1349
Who:
Turret
Follow the feeder tube to the generator room! I'll meet you there.
Listens:
141
Who:
Wheatley
Stubborn.
Listens:
148
Who:
GLaDOS
If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you.
Listens:
2340
Who:
Announcer
Those people, in the portrait. They look so familiar...
Listens:
210
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again. Sorry about exploding you. Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
1953
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
223
Who:
Wheatley
Orange what did you do?
Listens:
143
Who:
GLaDOS
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
487
Who:
Wheatley
Help! Being squished!
Listens:
733
Who:
Turret
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
208
Who:
GLaDOS
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
222
Who:
Defective Turret
Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
Listens:
139
Who:
GLaDOS
We're in space!
Listens:
1694
Who:
Wheatley
Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.
Listens:
2743
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
236
Who:
Defective Turret
There's a star. There's another one. Star. Star star star. Star.
Listens:
1073
Who:
Core 1
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
353
Who:
Core 3
Get to HER! I'll find you!
Listens:
150
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going to space.
Listens:
630
Who:
Core 1
No A.I. can resist thinking about them.
Listens:
190
Who:
GLaDOS
Breathes with mouth open.
Listens:
148
Who:
GLaDOS
Going to space going there can't wait gotta go. Space. Going.
Listens:
1681
Who:
Core 1
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
213
Who:
Wheatley
[sound of pages turning] Oh, sorry. Hope that didn't disturb you just then. It was the sound of books. Pages being turned.
Listens:
961
Who:
Wheatley
I don't hate you
Listens:
9950
Who:
Turret
That isn't science.
Listens:
1885
Who:
GLaDOS
Owwww!
Listens:
410
Who:
Turret
So, once again, just... move along. One small step and everything.
Listens:
176
Who:
Wheatley
Nooooo. No, I don't think it is. I think you're wrong.
Listens:
1469
Who:
Wheatley
Defective Turret testing active.
Listens:
522
Who:
Announcer
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
361
Who:
Defective Turret
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey lady.
Listens:
639
Who:
Core 1
Noooooo!
Listens:
1141
Who:
Turret
William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.
Listens:
2256
Who:
Core 3
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
3765
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
705
Who:
Wheatley
If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.
Listens:
1178
Who:
Announcer
What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control? You know, because, looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
1090
Who:
Core 2
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
389
Who:
Core 2
This next test involves turrets. You remember them, right? They're the pale spherical things that are full of bullets. Oh wait. That's you in five seconds. Good luck.
Listens:
1194
Who:
GLaDOS
I agree, Blue. That was entertaining.
Listens:
142
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
234
Who:
Wheatley
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
255
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
7660
Who:
Caroline
I hardly think you're even trying with these gestures anymore.
Listens:
152
Who:
GLaDOS
NNGH! It's not enough! If I'm such a moron, why can't you solve a simple test?
Listens:
773
Who:
Wheatley
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
You know who found that interesting? Nobody. That didn't affect anybody's life in any way whatsoever. Life would be exactly the same if you hadn't said anything.
Listens:
1666
Who:
Core 2
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
441
Who:
Wheatley
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Fears intimacy.
Listens:
147
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
288
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh. Alright? I don't know whether you're picking up on what I'm saying there, but...
Listens:
186
Who:
Wheatley
Uhoh
Listens:
502
Who:
Turret
This on? [thump thump] Hey. Listen up down there. That thing's called an elevator. Not a bathroom.
Listens:
1419
Who:
Cave Johnson
I defy you to tell me there's a purpose to what you're doing.
Listens:
178
Who:
GLaDOS
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
192
Who:
GLaDOS
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
3823
Who:
Announcer
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
4206
Who:
GLaDOS
Here she comes! Just play along! RememberFifteenChambers!
Listens:
146
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
601
Who:
Defective Turret
Anxious.
Listens:
150
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, well, alright. Just do your idea and then come straight back.
Listens:
153
Who:
Wheatley
You know who ended up, do you know who ended up taking her down in the end? You're not going to believe this. A human.
Listens:
176
Who:
Wheatley
Well, how about now? NOW WHO'S A MORON?
Listens:
1121
Who:
Wheatley
What's happening? Um. Hmm... Ok.
Listens:
170
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, really? Space? Really? You should have said something! We had no idea!
Listens:
1543
Who:
Core 2
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
474
Who:
Core 3
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
728
Who:
Wheatley
Excuse me
Listens:
1307
Who:
Turret
Thought you'd seen the last of us, didn't ya?
Listens:
387
Who:
Defective Turret
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
459
Who:
Wheatley
You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
Listens:
3969
Who:
Announcer
00:00 / 00:00
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